Okay, so quick lead-in for those of you who haven't read my first Zootopia fic, "Something Stinks," this one takes place in a time slot following htat; namely the December of the same year as the Night HowlerIncident, with Nick on Christmas break from the academy.
You'll see some references to Taelia, a character from "Something Stinks." While this does not necessarily reflect on the ending of that fic (which is currently some way off), I thought that for this story it would be funnier if she and Nick were dating in between Nick's work on becoming a cop. Sorry to the WildeHopps fans; hopefully I can amuse you enough to make up for it.
And now, without further delay...
"It's a shark, and it ain't friendly! It looks like a dolphin. Tricky fish! Tricky fish!"
Pleakley, Lilo and Stitch
A light snow fell outside as the bullet train sped past the city limits of Zootopia, carrying an assortment of animals out to the countryside. The upper level, which would not very well accommodate any passenger more than five feet tall, was more packed than usual. Many parents of larger species had allowed – or strongly urged – their youngsters to head topside where they might better enjoy the view, not get stepped on, and give their elders a brief respite (not necessarily in that order). Also there were many who lived and worked in the city most of the year, but who were heading out to spend Christmas Eve and perhaps a day or two after with family in the outlying buroughs.
One of these was Judy Hopps, accompanied – somewhat reluctantly – by her friend Nick Wilde. Recently appointed as an officer in the ZPD, Nick had planned to spend some time visiting his girlfriend Taelia and her family. Judy's parents, however, had been dropping hints since before Thanksgiving that she should bring a guest, so she had finally broken down and convinced Nick to come. She had even promised him that there would be no pranks for the duration of the visit – a rare enough opportunity, where she was concerned, to persuade him to postpone meeting Taelia's family until New Year's.
"I did mention that I saw her returning mistletoe later, right?" Nick asked for about the sixth time.
"I know," Judy replied. The first time he'd told her, she'd tried to let him back out, but he'd already tried that with Taelia and they nearly had a fight over it. That vixen was nice, but she could be a bit tempermental at times.
Nick thumbed through Judy's phone, which she had converted into a vast collection of snapshots of her family. It had taken her most of the previous night to put in names for all of them, hoping that Nick would make a better impression if he knew some of them by name. After all, they'd have no trouble singling him out.
Unfortunately, nearly all of them looked alike to him. "You know," he pointed out, "I don't think your parents will mind if I don't know everyone's names. It's not like I'm their future son-in-law or anything, right?"
Judy said nothing, and Nick grew uncomfortable. Maybe she's just zoned out, he thought, like a stranded swimmer hoping that an approaching fin belonged to a dolphin instead of a shark. "Carrots?" he persisted, waving a paw in front of her face.
She looked up at him sheepishly. "Uh, Nick, I might have forgotten to mention something."
Nick smacked himself in the face. I gave up mistletoe with Taelia for this! he thought. "Okay," he implored, spreading his paws with the pads up, "please tell me you did not tell your parents I was your boyfriend."
"Well, did I tell them we were dating? No. No I did not."
Great. Now she's a comedienne,
"It's just that when my parents encouraged me to bring a friend along, there was this subtle tone in their voices that-"
Nick handed the phone back to her. "I'm not talking with you," he said icily, walking through the crowd to the other end of the car.
She chased after him. "Nick, Nick, please," she begged. "I promised no pranks on you. I didn't say anything about them."
The fox retaliated with a loud, off-key rendition of 'It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.'
'Lot like Curtains' is more like it, thought Judy. "Nick, I promise, I'll make this as painless as possible – and I'll make it up to you."
He pretended not to hear her at first, then clasped his paws behind his back. "And just how do you plan on doing that?" he asked.
Fortunately, Judy never pulled a hustle without ammunition. "Remember when you said you wished you had a shot of Bellwether's face back in the museum?" she asked, holding up her phone.
By the time she sold him on the plan – promising not only a full photo collection of the prank but also a four-course dinner for him and Taelia come New Year's – they had gotten off the train. Nick had a sneaking suspicion that Judy had worked extra-hard to sell him on the plan before that point, for the young buck who greeted them – clearly Judy's brother based on the similar markings – wasn't the least bit surprised to see his sister in the company of a fox.
"A fellow conspirator?" asked Nick, glancing at his friend.
"Nick, meet – wait, let's see if you can guess. He was in my phone."
"Along with half of the Bunny Burrow phone book, I'll bet," Nick replied.
Judy rolled her eyes. "If you know everyone in the city, this should be no problem. Come on, Junior Detective."
Nick raised his paws. "Okay, if you're going to get everyone calling me that, I'm going to Taelia's right now."
Judy's brother raised his paws in turn. "Secret's safe with me," he promised.
The fox turned his dubious emerald eyes on Judy. She raised her paws.
"Hey, I promised no pranking on Christmas, and that includes putting my family up to anything. I promise, today it's just Nick. Now, who's he?" She pointed to her brother.
Nick studied the buck. "Let's see... Shamus?"
"Nope."
"Uh, Rick?"
"Wrong."
"Jacko?"
"Nobody in our family by that name."
Nick groaned. "Rumplestiltskin?"
The buck just laughed. "If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that..."
"You'd be the richest mammal in Zootopia," Nick finished. He studied the rabbit's face as hard as he could and made another guess.
"Alex."
The rabbit nodded. "Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Oh, and don't call me Alexander. Mammals get us mixed up."
With the guessing game (finally!) over, they climbed into the car. Judy offered to drive, and Alex opted to nap in the back. "Sorry if I don't offer much conversation, but I was up half the night making sure everything was ready."
"Ready for what?" asked Nick warily.
"Christmas, silly," Judy teased.
The fox simply rolled his eyes as Judy started humming along with the radio, which had just begun to play Aaron Kautippin's rendition of, 'Christmastime Down South.'Not for the first time (and not for the last, he suspected), he wondered just what he had let himself in for.
Half an hour later, Nick was once again looking through Judy's pictures. The more he looked, the more alike the rabbits all looked to him.
"Carrots, am I going cross-eyed?" he asked.
"I'm driving," she told him. "Have you tried looking at something far away?"
He focused on the road ahead – with his eyes, at least. His mind was on the destination, and the reception he might find there. Well, those and one other thing, but he tried not to think about the one other thing.
"Are you sure they won't mind having a fox come to the party?" he asked, looking like he wished he could jump out of the car.
"Trust me – unless you feel like walking back." Seeing that he was still ill at ease, she lightly bumped his shoulder with a fist. "Relax. You spent all week getting your stomach ready for vegetarian."
His paws strayed to his gut. "I should have made it two weeks," he groaned.
"You should have started with something other than the extra-fiber whole-grain oat muffins with granola topping," Judy remonstrated. "Anyway, you're with me. Mom and Dad would never chase off a guest after I invited him."
Nick grimaced and gripped his midsection a little harder. "Uh, Carrots, that's not the only reason I'm so nervous."
Judy blinked as she got what he was getting at, and her foot pressed harder against the gas pedal. "Hang on; gas station coming up."
Alex awoke while Nick was in the bathroom. "Where are we?" he asked.
His sister glanced back at him. "We owe him big for this."
"We?" he echoed. "You talked me into it."
"Yes, and as my older brother you should have tried to talk me out of it."
Alex rolled his eyes. "Does," he muttered.
She rolled hers right back. She made it a rule not to play favorites when it came to her siblings, but there was a reason she and Jordy had always gotten along so well.
Fortunately, the visit to the restroom proved sufficient to hold Nick over until they reached the Hopps house. Along the way, Judy took the opportunity to point out several elaborately decorated yards backed by houses built into large hillsides – or, Nick suspected, large hillsides built up over houses in some cases. It was a little hard to tell the
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