come by every now and then to graze and trim. I’ll see if I can find his number.”

Nick smiled. “That would be nice.”

“How’s Judy?”

Nick shrugged. “Better. She twitches every now and then, but she’s still out.”

Nick paused for a few moments. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around...well… her parents. Why would they try to set her up with some bunny from overseas who was only visiting family for a few weeks? How exactly could that have worked out? And now they can’t even get in touch with him…” Nick trailed off.

“Sometimes parents do really dumb things, in a poor attempt to protect their kids from life.” Nick lifted his sunglasses and looked up at her quizzically as she continued. “It’s true. Take your mom, she used to spoil you rotten, waiting on you paw and foot… it’s a wonder you ever learned to be independent… maybe a little too independent.”

Nick barked out a quick laugh, then said somberly, “I should have been around for her more. Last month I even thought about moving back in here…” He stared down at his paws and shook his head.

Rita pulled his chair closer and draped her trunk over his shoulders as they listened to the cicadas buzz in the nearby trees.

 

I went by the house today, to start getting my mom’s things in order. That place is a minefield of regrets for me. I found a card I made for Ma when I was just a kid… I guess it reminded me of how terrible I’ve become at sharing my feelings, and there are some I need to share with you.

You believed in me when no one else did, and you taught this jaded fox to believe in himself. My whole life, I always worried, even when my glass was half full, that I’d end up with an empty one sooner or later, and I usually did, but only because I spent so much time sabotaging myself. Ever since I met you, I’ve broken out of so many unhealthy patterns. Somehow you just... make me want to be a better fox, simply by being around you. You opened the door, but you didn’t try to drag me through it. You just showed me the way, by being the only way you know how to be.

 

“I love you, Judy Hopps. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I won’t let your mom take Little Carrots away.” Nick hugged her paw to his face and wept, his tears leaving dark splotches on the hospital sheets.

Holly . The word was barely a whisper, so quiet that Nick wasn’t sure that he’d even heard it. He slowly looked up, right into Judy’s violet eyes.

She spoke again, her voice trembling. “Her name is Holly.”

Nick lunged forward and hugged her close. He immediately regretted it when she yelled in his ear, “OW, NICK….ow. I hurt…. everywhere.”

Nick quickly let go of her and cringed away. “Sorry, oh my god Judy, I’m so sorry.”

She looked at him with drowsy eyes. “Also, it’s a journal, not a diary. Only you could annoy me enough to wake me out of a coma.”

Judy reached out with one arm and gently pulled him close as he laughed and cried at the same time.

She smiled as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “You foxes… you’re so emotional.”

Chapter 4

Judy heard Nick speaking quietly as she slowly came awake. “I like having you bunnies all to myself at night.”

Judy smiled and said, “You don’t have to whisper, I’m awake.”

“It’s about time you woke up. You hungry? Little Carrots sure was.”

Judy laughed as she turned on her side to look at Nick, who cradled Holly in his arms as he fed her a bottle. The little bunny’s ears swiveled and she looked at Judy as the hospital bed creaked.

Judy gasped, causing Nick to look up in alarm. “Are you ok, Judy?”

She nodded as she gave him a wide grin. “I’m just... amazed at how beautiful you two look together. And yes, I’m famished.”

 

It’s weird that it’s been so long since I last wrote in my journal, and yet it also doesn’t seem like anywhere near enough time has passed, given how much has changed in my life. I’m still trying to process the fact that I’m a mom now, with a gorgeous little girl. I just wish I would hurry up and heal, so I could take care of her and myself. I’m going stir crazy being stuck in this bed, and even with physical therapy every day I don’t feel like I’m getting better fast enough. Nick keeps telling me to be patient, but we both know that isn’t exactly one of my strengths. Also the skin under my casts is itchy, so very very itchy. I can scratch under the one on my left arm with a pencil, but the itches on my left leg that I can’t reach are driving me insane.

Ever since I complained about the hospital food a few days ago, Nick has been bringing me my favorite takeout when he comes by in the evenings. He’s been incredible through all of this, and he’s so wonderful with Holly, it just makes my heart ache to see him hold her. But I’m worried about him, he seems so tired lately, and there’s definitely something bothering him. I think I know what it is, but I’ll have to wait to talk to him about it, because right now he’s sleeping next to me in a chair and snoring with his tongue hanging out. He looks so adorable, I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture of him… which reminds me, I need to remember to ask my mom to bring it to me.

 

Nick finished changing Holly’s diaper and picked her up. “Since your mom is running late, I’ll help you feed Little Carrots before I go.”

“Well, it takes too long for me to get her situated, so I let my mom feed her in the morning…”

“Wait, what? Are you kidding me? Now I feel selfish for feeding her all the time at night.”

“It’s ok Nick, I love watching you feed her.”

“No way, Carrots, you deserve to get barfed on too.”

Nick helped Judy sit up as he put a pillow over her left arm. Holly whimpered pitifully.

“Oh Nick, it’s ok… look, she’s hungry.”

He shook his head. “She’ll be fine. I can’t believe your mom...”

Nick carefully put the small bunny in Judy’s lap so that she was propped up on the pillow.

“Ok... there we go Little Carrots… there. Does that feel ok, Judy?”

Judy nodded as Nick adjusted the pillow and gave her the bottle.

“Hey little bun, “ Judy said as Holly looked into her eyes and greedily gulped down her breakfast.

Nick smiled as he reached over to adjust Judy’s paw slightly. “There you go… just hold the bottle up a little more, so she doesn’t suck in air. Now you’ve got it.”

 

Nick was such a sweetheart, and so patient. I freaked out when Holly started to choke after one of my twitchy ears surprised her, but Nick assured me he had the same problem when he was first learning to feed her. I had him ring the nurse anyway, and she checked Holly over and declared that she was just fine.

Apparently my parents were able to finally track down Irvin. When they talked to him, the only thing he kept asking was, “Are you sure it’s mine?” Seriously? What kind of bunny does he think I am… also, thanks for being so concerned about how I’m doing after the accident, jerk.

Though I am the dumb bunny who got drunk and slept with this guy, when I should have high tailed it back here instead. Ok, I could let my brain go over and over this yet again, like a hamster stuck in a wheel, but all of that doesn’t matter now. I need to figure out how to talk to Nick about it.

 

“I can hear your ears twitching from here, Carrots. I don’t know what’s so important…” He trailed off as Judy looked up from writing in her journal and started to cry.

Nick jumped up to sit next to her on the bed. “What is it Judy? What’s wrong?”

Her ears drooped and she looked down at her paws. “I’m sorry, I’m just...it’s… Irvin. I need to talk to you about him. I’m not sure where to start.”

Nick blurted out, “Do you love him?” Judy flinched and looked up at Nick.

“What? Oh god Nick, the look on your face right now… no, no I don’t love him. It was just a dumb, stupid, impulsive thing, and I’m so sorry. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me.”

He pulled her in for a hug and she clung to him as she wept. “It’s ok Judy. You’re beating yourself up over nothing. It wasn’t like we… well, you don’t need my forgiveness, for anything.”

“Oh Nick, I’m really sorry, I know I hurt you. I don’t deserve you…”

“Shhhh, Carrots, it’s ok. And if it’s any consolation, I don’t deserve you either.”

Judy chuckled and wiped her eyes. “It’s true, you deserve better.”

Nick pulled away from Judy and gazed into her violet eyes. “That isn’t what I meant. Let me be abundantly clear about this, Judy Hopps. I love you, and that’s all that matters.” He pulled her close and she snuggled against him.

“Thank you Nick. I love you too.”

 

That went unexpectedly well. The look on Nick’s face, when he asked me if I loved Irvin… he looked almost as frightened as he did right before that truck hit us. I wish he’d told me this was eating at him. We should have talked about it sooner.

After he held me awhile, he

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