one of those right now.  With pepperoni, extra cheese…”

 

Dreams of pizza were interrupted by Col. Spigot shouting, “You!  Guard!  Come with me.”

 

“Aw, man, two more seconds, and I could have tasted it.” Baloo climbed over the snowbank and trotted after the colonel.  “Where’re we goin’, Spiggy?”

 

“Spiggy?”  The colonel stopped in his tracks, spun around, and glared up at Baloo, bristling like an undersized rooster.

 

“Twiggy,” Baloo amended quickly. “I said ‘twiggy’.  Have you lost weight?  Because you look really, uh…glorious today.”  For good measure, he tacked on “Sir.”

 

Spigot chuckled as he struck a pose, showing off his ‘fine figure’.  “I do, don’t I?  It must be the helmet.”

 

“Well, ya know what they say, sir.  The helmet makes the man.”  To himself, Baloo added silently, “Look like an idjit.”

 

“I should wear it more often.  Perhaps it will impress the ladies.” Spigot tipped the helmet at a rakish angle and wriggled his eyebrows. The oversized helmet promptly plopped flounder-first into the snow.

 

Baloo had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.  “Oh, yeah, that’ll do it all right.” 

 

With a grunt of frustration, Spigot picked up the helmet and plunked it back on his head.  “Enough chitchat.  Let’s go.”

 

He led Baloo through the deserted streets to a courtyard.

 

“We found an intruder encroaching on Thembrian airspace.  As the head officer of the Glorious People’s Air Force, it is my duty to deal with said intruder in order to discourage this from happening again.  Otherwise, our Glorious Mommyland will be overrun with pushy, presumptuous, capitalistic swine.”

 

Spigot pointed to a person in a pink dress standing against a concrete wall marred with more than a few cannonball craters. The prisoner’s hands were tied to a post.  Her head hung down, her thick brown hair concealing her face. Casually, he commanded, “Shoot her.”

 

“What?” Rebecca cried, her head snapping up.

 

Baloo and Rebecca gasped when they recognized each other.

 

End of part 2

 

All’s Bear in Love and War
Part 3

Thembria

 

“What are you waiting for?  Shoot her!” Col. Spigot shouted.  He emphasized his command by frantically waggling his riding crop at Rebecca standing in front of the cratered concrete wall.

 

“B-b-b-b-but...!” Baloo’s eyes darted around, searching for a way to get Rebecca out of the line of fire.  Not only was there a shortage of material goods to use as escape tools, he was experiencing a rare shortage of ideas.

 

Before he could devise a plan involving the lone light bulb affixed to the top of the wall, his rifle, and the overabundance of snow, Spigot barked out, “No ‘buts’!  She’s a dangerous criminal!”

 

The petite bearess, near tears and shaking with cold and fear, looked anything but dangerous.

 

Baloo was sweating profusely despite the frigid wind that made Rebecca’s skirt flap like a swallow in flight.  He tried stalling for time by pointing out, “I’m bettin’ she hasn’t even had a trial yet.  It’s against the law to shoot someone before they have a trial. Can’t she just get off with a warning?”   

 

“I’m warning you.  Shoot her, or as your commanding colonel, I’ll shoot you!”  Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, Col. Spigot jumped up and down. The flounder helmet bobbed comically on his head.

 

Baloo’s eyes lit up with a sudden idea.  He shouldered his weapon and surreptitiously winked at Rebecca. “Ya know, it’s too bad that all your potential has to end this way, boss lady.  Remember all the potential that I said you had back at Lake Flaccid?  With the guacamole…?

 

Catching onto his train thought, Rebecca added with a slight smile, “And the flesh-melting ooze guns?”

 

Baloo nodded, almost imperceptibly. “Pre-zactly.”

 

“Silence!” A very annoyed Spigot shouted. “Prisoners are to be shot, not heard. You’re taking too long. Give me that gun!”

 

“Whatever ya say, your colonelness.” Baloo was all graciousness as he handed over the weapon.

 

“Watch how a pro does it,” Spigot said, pushing Baloo aside.

 

Because the gun was a lot taller than Spigot was, it was difficult for him to raise it to his shoulder, yet maintain his balance.  Warthog and gun swung wildly in a circle. The diminutive colonel staggered backwards, then forwards, backwards, forwards, on his toes, his heels, his toes, his heels. The barrel of the gun was aimed at the sky, the ground, the sky, and then...

 

Bang!

 

Baloo cracked open an eye when a triumph Col. Spigot dropped the weapon in the snow and crowed, “You’ve still got it, Ivanov.  The Crack-Shot of Coldstream Canyon.”  The short warthog strutted away, chuckling to himself.

 

When the colonel was out of earshot, Baloo said, “Don’t know what he’s so all-fired happy about.  Spiggy couldn’t hit the broad side of a fuselage, right, Becky?” 

 

No response.

 

“Becky?” 

 

Baloo hurried towards the wall. Rebecca was lying in a crumpled heap, looking like a pathetic pink flower trampled in the snow.

 

And she wasn’t moving.

 

His heart jumped into his throat as he dropped to his knees and started untying her hands. “I don’t believe it. He really did shoot her! Where’s a paramedic when you need ‘em?  Heck, I’d even go for a single medic.”  However, since there wasn’t another soul in sight and he didn’t know where the Glorious People’s Hospital was, all he could do was cradle her limp form in his arms. Tears pricked his eyes. “Oh, man, Beckers, just say one word and tell me if you’re dead!”

 

It seemed like an age passed until Rebecca’s eyes fluttered open.  She smiled dreamily at up him.

 

A second later, Baloo was almost sorry that she was alive. Rebecca had grabbed him by the lapels and was shaking him.  “I’m not dead, but you are, buster!  How dare you defect without asking me, your boss, first?”

 

“I-I-I...d-d-didn’t...d-d-defect!” Baloo gasped out. 

 

“But I-I don’t understand.” Rebecca stammered, releasing him. “Your uniform…the gun…and Col. Conrad told me you did.”

 

“The only thing defective around here is that Conrad,” Baloo growled, helping her to her feet. “Yeowch!  Sliced my hand on your…”  When she turned her hand over, he was momentarily blinded by the light reflecting off the enormous diamond.  “Becky, where’d you get that rock?”

 

“Col. Conrad,” Rebecca murmured guiltily, her eyes cast downward. 

 

For some reason, Baloo felt that his world was in a tailspin; his boss lady must have shaken him harder than usual. He leaned heavily against the cold wall to steady himself, turning his back towards her. He couldn’t bear the sight of that huge diamond that glinted mockingly at him.  Angrily, he spat, “You’re engaged to that liar, that fake, that…that phony baloney?” 

 

“Not exactly...” She nervously twisted the ring that was two sizes too big.

 

“That looks pretty ‘exactly’ to me, lady. Well, you can just fly right back to your rich, famous colonel and live happily ever after!” 

 

Rebecca put a gentle paw on his arm and waited until he had turned his sad, weary eyes towards her before saying, “But there won’t be any ‘happily ever after’, Baloo, not without....what’s that?”  Her ears had detected the rhythmic tramping of many, many boots; it was growing louder.

 

Baloo protectively pushed Rebecca behind him as a troop of soldiers marched past.

 

When the soldiers were out of sight, Rebecca said, “In a few hours, Usland and Thembria will be at war with each other.  Let’s get out of this place!”  She grabbed his hand and tugged on it.

 

Baloo, the immovable object, replied, “I’m stayin’.”

 

“But,” she grunted through gritted teeth, now trying to push the big bear, “the Sea Duck’s…that way.”

 

Amused at the petite bearesses’ futile efforts, Baloo said, “I’m still stayin’.”

 

Finally, Rebecca realized that she couldn’t win.  With her hands on her hips, she asked, “Why?” She thought that he would have jumped at the chance to leave the slush pit that was Thembria.

 

“Papa Bear’s gonna catch Goldilocks,” Baloo

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