thank Go… ‘ Karnage thought, and then gagged, as Baloo took out his hanky, spat into it, and wiped it on Karnage’s face. ‘Ewwww, you unhygienic… ‘
“Theeeere we go!” Baloo dabbed Karnage’s little button-like nose. “All clean now!”
Karnage grumbled, and just stayed sitting there with an extremely unhappy look on his face.
Baloo cocked his head at him, looking thoughtful, and then put both his fingers at either side of the baby’s mouth, trying to make a smiley face.
“Do I get a smile?” he said jokingly, to which Karnage just gave him a dirty look.
“Awww, come on,” Baloo said, as he pulled a funny face. “One big smile for unca Balooie!” But Karnage remained defiant, staying perfectly still.
“Ooo-kay,” Baloo said, not hindered by the kid’s lack of enthusiasm. “Then how’s about we… ” Baloo then reached out with his hands, grabbed Karnage, and tossed him up in the air.
“WHOAAAA!”
“How’s bout we play a game of catch then,” Baloo said, laughing.
Karnage squealed, as he soared up to the ceiling, and then fell back down into Baloo’s waiting hands. He winced, desperately trying to keep his bladder in check.
“Whoooops-A-Daisy!” Baloo called, as he threw him back up into the air and then caught him, again and again. “Whoooops-A-Daisy!”
By Nicholas Killpack
Thankfully he never missed him, but on the last time when Karnage fell back to earth, he ended up landing straight onto Baloo’s shoulders.
“High-ho, Silver!” Baloo laughed, as he knelt down on all fours, playing horsy rides with the baby on his back. “Away!”
Karnage shivered uncontrollably, his nerves in a frantic state after being thrown up to the ceiling so many times. ‘My indignity and disgrace is now officially complete,’ he thought, as Baloo made trotting sounds with his mouth, and Karnage dug his puny hands into Baloo’s hair, clutching on for dear life.
‘It wouldn’t be so bad, if I only had those steely things that cowboys wear on their boots,’ Karnage thought smiling, as he imagined himself kicking into Baloo’s sides, making him cry out in pain. But unfortunately, he didn’t even have a pair of knitted booties on his feet, and the strength he had presently in his legs wasn’t enough to even stomp a bug.
Baloo sung to himself, singing some nonsense words that made no sense at all to Karnage, as he made his way back to the room where the crib was, still on all fours.
“Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee-dee-doo, “ Baloo quietly hummed, swinging his hips and tapping his feet and hands as he did so. “Well, it’s a doo-bah-dee-doo! Yes, it’s a doo-bah-dee-doo! I mean a doo-bee doo-bee, doo-bee doo-bee, doo-bee-dee-doo… ”
Karnage groaned. If anything, these constant songs that he had been hearing from Baloo all day were enough to drive him stark raving mad. What was it with this bear and singing???
When Baloo finally got to the crib, he straightened his back, holding onto the baby so that he wouldn’t fall, and lifted him up over his head.
“Oke doke, kiddie,” Baloo said, putting back on the baby talk. “Time for Baby Britches to lay down for his nappie-wappie.”
Karnage felt momentarily relief. There was only a few moments left of sunset, so he could just safely sleep away the last few seconds of this horrible day away.
“There’s a good wittle boy!” Baloo said, as he put the baby down to sleep in his bed. “Now, haven’t we had an exciting day today, little man?” He tucked the baby in with his blankets. “You went and had a nice little ride on the bike with your uncle Balooie, and seen lots and lots of new sights today.”
Karnage felt like committing murder, but at the moment all that he wanted to do was just to sleep.
“There we go,” Baloo puckered, as he tucked the last edge in. “All nice and snug as a bug in a rug.”
Karnage rolled his eyes and tried moving, but found that he was securely tucked in, as he could barely move. He looked at the wall and noticed that the rays of sun were beginning to dim, meaning that sunset was close to finish. He sighed in relief, glad that this day was almost over with. This was another day, but one above all the others, that he was most sincerely glad to be rid off, and never wanted to be reminded of again.
Then, Baloo said the scariest thing that he had said all day…
“Oke, wittle diaper man,” Baloo leaned his head slowly forward. “Time to say nighty-night. Give your unca Balooie a night-night kiss.”
Karnage blanched and yelped, struggling to free himself, as Baloo’s face came dangerously close, with his lips all puckered up as thick as pork sausages.
Karnage turned his face away, as Baloo’s face came down.
‘Ewwww,’ Karnage grimaced.
“Nighty-night, Baby Britches,” Baloo said, using that blastingly ridiculous title that Karnage had been stuck with all day, as he reached the baby’s cheek…
But then, just at that moment, and none too soon, the all too familiar puff of smoke came, and Don Karnage suddenly found himself lying on his own couch, in his own quarters, on his own ship, and thankfully… in his own pants.
Karnage sighed in relief, but just in case… he began wiping his face, wiping off whatever germs he had contracted during the day from that insufferable pilot.
“So how did it go?” the Genie’s tiresome voice asked curiously. “Find out anything new today?”
Karnage stopped what he was doing, and stared at the Genie who was hovering near his desk, his eyes like daggers.
“Ummm, I did get it right this time, didn’t I?” the Genie asked nervously, not liking the look in his master’s eyes.
Before Karnage would say anything though, he seemingly got a look of pain in his eyes, and immediately ran headfirst into his private bathroom. A few moments later, sighs of relief could be heard through the door, followed by the flushing sound of the convenience.
The Genie raised his eyebrows, and watched as Karnage re-entered the room, his face looking as though he had just swam the Atlantic.
“What, don’t they have lavatories in Cape Suzette?” the Genie asked.
* * * * *
Higher For Hire; Same Time:
Baloo jerked slightly, and found himself standing in one of the storage rooms, his body leaning forward, and his lips all puckered up as though he was about to give someone a kiss. The only thing was… Was he just about to give Molly’s doll, Lucy, a kiss???
Baloo grimaced, and straightened his back. He stood there for a second, as he blinked his eyes, looking the place over. He felt slightly dazed and confused, but found nothing to be amiss.
“Now what did I come in here for?” he wondered out-loud.
After a few moments, he decided that if he couldn’t remember it, then it obviously wasn’t that important to begin with, so he chose to ignore it. If it were really important, then he would remember it later.
As he walked out the room, he couldn’t help but get the strangest feeling that something was missing? He looked back to double check the room, but still saw nothing out of the ordinary, aside from all the boxes with old files and paperwork, and crates filled with old ridiculous ideas that Rebecca had once had that didn’t work out… There were an awful lot of those crates, too.
“Must be loosing my marbles,” Baloo shrugged.
“Baloo!” Rebecca’s voice called him. “Have you finished the filing yet?!”
Baloo groaned. “What am I, your secretary? Hold your horses, Becky, I’m coming.” He walked out of the storage area, and into the main office.
“Hey, Becks,” he said, as he made his way over to one of the filing cabinets. “You wouldn’t believe the…”
“If you’re gonna tell me what you had for lunch, I’m not interested,” Rebecca warned him.
Baloo snorted. “No, not that… Well, not entirely that, but no… I had this really weird dream… “
“Good for you,” Rebecca said, loosing interest, as she shuffled through some more reports.
“I dreamt you left me to do some baby-sitting,” Baloo continued, despite her lack of interest.
Rebecca burst out laughing. “Me? Leave you to baby-sit? HA! I have enough trouble letting you out to do deliveries, let alone look after Molly… “
“No,” Baloo interrupted her. “It wasn’t Molly. It was some other kid.”
“Oh, who?” Rebecca asked, still not really interested, but listening anyway.
Baloo shrugged. “Beats me. He was a baby, real small, quite a cute little fellow. Never saw him before, but I couldn’t help thinking there was something
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