shade opened his mouth in protest but was then caught off guard as Molly crawled up beside him.

“Can I stay with Shade?” Molly asked, and Rebecca smiled as she picked her daughter up.

“I think he would get more rest if you stayed in your own bed, like you should have been this entire time.” Shade watched as the little bear cub waved at him, as Rebecca carried her out of the room. Then started to question if he should just leave, apart of him told him to run, but something told him that it would be alright. As Shade looked at his choices he grumbled slightly knowing that he needed his gear back, as he closed his eyes Shade took a deep breath and started to sleep once more.

As he slept Rebecca checked up on Shade often only to find him having a nightmare, his face seemed to be in great pain, his hands where clinched, his body ridged, and he winced and moaned in pain. She didn’t know what he was dreaming about, but she could tell that it was terrible as she walked up, and placed a hand on his head. “What are you dreaming about?” Rebecca asked, wishing she could know what was going on in Shade’s young mind, to know what she could do to help him. Her heart went out to him as his face was replaced with Kit‘s for a moment.

The young navigator had become very dear to her, though there was a few times that he had gotten under her skin, she had been looking to him as a son for the longest time. He always wanted to please her, thought she didn’t fully know if that was because he looked up to her, or if it was the fact he was scared of getting another lecture from her.

 The entire time she had been thinking about Kit, she failed to realize that he was still touching Shade’s forehead, and when she did realize this she smiled slightly seeing that Shade had calmed down a little. His nightmares had gone and it was a sign that brought a smile to Rebecca’s face, but as she started to leave the room she heard a faint groan come from Shade.

 After a while Rebecca sat down and started to rest her self, taking care of two sick children was taking it’s toll on her, though Shade slept the entire day, Molly more than made up for his portion of protesting about staying in bed. As Rebecca closed her eyes, after getting Molly to lay down for a nap, the hidden nightmares, the thoughts she had been having for the past few months about Kit, started to come to the forefront of her mind. Her darkest fears of what could of happened to her young navigator that only came to her mind every so offten and was quickly blocked out by her self, was now forcing their way back.

The thoughts ranged from Kit staying a Pirate, all the way up to his own demise, the final image that Rebecca saw was mostly thanks to Daring Dan. Some how Kit had found his way to Daring Dan’s air show, and the stunt that Baloo was there to save Kit from didn’t end nearly as well, as Kit tried to fly through the rings of fire, and failed, she could almost hear Kit scream in pain as the trick went wrong and he fell to the ground. “KIT NO!” Rebecca yelled, as she sat up in her chair breathing heavily. “Only a dream.” Rebecca told her self, very glade that it was just that. As she smiled, her body have shaken, while just happy that what she had seen was nothing but a dream, there came a knock at her door. As she opened the door she found her self looking at Baloo, and Kit, who was holding his hat in front of his chest. “Kit, Baloo what are you two doing here, you should be delivering those mangos to Pango-Pango.”

“Don’t worry Beckers, we took care of that delivery, and came back to see how Molly was doing.” Baloo said, as he looked at Rebecca who seemed shocked as the two walked in.

“How is Molly Mrs. Cunningham.” Rebecca turned to Kit and smiled.

“She’s doing much better, but I have to talk with Baloo for a moment Kit, can you go keep an eye on her?” with that Kit looked from Rebecca to Baloo who shrugged in just as much confusion. As kit headed for Molly’s room, where she was sitting in bed with her dolls, Rebecca turned to Baloo and looked very serious. “Please sit down Baloo.”

“Uh-oh what did I do this time?” Rebecca opened her mouth and was about to scold Baloo but stopped noticing that this was one of the rare times that she had asked him to sit down before she was about to scold him. “Uh Becky?” Rebecca was shaken from her trance as she looked at Baloo and smiled slightly.

“Sorry, last night I went out to get Molly some medicine.”

“In that storm, Becky you should have just called, I would have gone and got the stuff for pigtails.” Baloo said, as he looked at Rebecca but then stopped. “What happened.”

“How did you know anything happened?”

“Look Becky your not the kind of person to tell me about what you do in your off time, you went out last night and now your acting a little funny, so what happened?”

“I was attacked last night.” in a flash Baloo was on his feet, fist clinched, and teeth showing with a low growl.

“Just tell me what they looked like.” Rebecca had never seen Baloo this way before, unless someone threatened Kit, Daring Dan was lucky the cops got to him first.

“Baloo it’s alright I’m fine, Someone else helped me last night.” with that Baloo’s expression changed from rage to confusion as he looked at Rebecca.

“Oh no, not another love interest.” Baloo flopped back into the chair he was sitting in, as Rebecca put her hands on her hips.

“And just what is that supposed to mean?”

“Ghost captain, post office spy, treasure hunter looking for a ruby doll.” Baloo said, as he held up his hand and raised a finger for each interest Rebecca had in the past. To his surprise he saw Rebecca blush and a smile slowly curled on his lips.

“Well this isn’t one of those.”

“Oh right Becky, sure anything you say.”

“Baloo, will you just listen to me for a minute, the person that helped me last night was a kid.”

“A kid?” Now Baloo was confused.

“Yes, he says his name is Shade, and from what he’s told me he’s an orphan.”

“Becky why are you telling me this, if you want to adopt your knight in shinning armor, I don’t have any say in the matter, it’s your choice.”

“Baloo that’s not why I’m telling you this.” with that Becky walked over to a closet and pulled out a box filled with gadgets and gizmos, as well as Shade’s cloths.

“Uh Becky? just how old is this kid?” Baloo asked, as he held up the mask that Shade wore. Rebecca glared at Baloo and snatched the mask from him.

“He passed out at my front door, he was running a high fever and soaked to the bone, I had to get him out of his wet cloths and into a warm bed or he would have died.” with that Baloo nodded a few times but then stopped.

“You let him in your house?”

“Baloo he would have died if I didn’t, he’s only a boy, maybe younger then Kit, but look at all these things of his, I’ve never seen anything like it.” Rebecca said, as she held up a few items. “He’s got gadgets and gizmos of plenty, Gears and cables galore.” Baloo looked at the equipment and nodded. As he held up a piece and smiled fondly at it.

“I’ve seen stuff like this before, when I was a kid, my old friend Buzz used to mess with junk all the time. Some of it was pretty cool, while the rest of it…well we didn’t see much of it after Buzz activated it.” with that Baloo looked at Becky and smiled.

“Kid’s pretty smart… if this stuff works.”

“I don’t even know what most of this stuff does, but if it’s anything like I saw last night, it works, and it’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Rebecca rummaged through the box for a second and then pulled out one of the pieces

“He shot of stream of fire from this thing.” Rebecca held up a gauntlet like device. “Baloo he’s smart, and creative… but… but.” Rebecca found her self in tears, as she looked at the devices in the box.

“Hey Becky what’s wrong?” Rebecca looked up at Baloo, and wiped the tears from her face.

“Baloo I never really thought of it before, but have you ever wondered what might of happened to Kit if he never met you.” a grim look came to Baloo’s face as he looked at Rebecca.

“I try not to think of it.” with that Rebecca nodded.

“I never really thought about to deeply, I always told my self that he would of found a more responsible pilot.”

“HEY!” Rebecca smiled, as she got the reaction from Baloo.

“It wasn’t until today, as I watched Shade tossing, and turning, in his sleep that I thought that Kit might not have been so lucky.” With that Rebecca sat on her couch, and looked at Baloo. “I then started to think about what happened with Dan, how Kit could leave at any point and time if he liked.”

“Yeah I thought about that my self, but me and little britches are friends, he wouldn’t do that.” Rebecca raised and eyebrow and smirked slightly.

“Oh really, then all it’s going to take is another blow up between you two for him to run and join the Thembria air core again.” Baloo pulled his hat over his face remembering how much of a hassle that was. “Baloo, I think it’s about time we talked about legally adopting



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March 28, 2013
Usa
No offense intended; but I'm not gonna lie, this story needs some work. But before I go any farther; a brief note to the author: Since your last fanfiction was posted barely more than a year ago I have no idea if you're still active, however, if you are; please bear in mind I'm not attempting to troll you or rage at you, I'm just offering up some constructive criticism. And here it is: Overall, your spelling, capitalization and grammar DO need work. You should probably run the story through spellcheck (if you have Microsoft Word), or just make sure any future scenes are grammatically correct. I guess everyone seems fairly in-character, but the subplots about Karnage, Torque and Trader Moe all feel unrelated and just tossed in randomly. Try developing the story into interconnecting strands more if and when you return and see if that helps any. And finally.... To be honest, my biggest problem with your story is the main character; Shade. It's evident you have other stories featuring him and while I haven't read them as of yet, I plan to do so at some point. However, Shade just feels very underdeveloped to me. What's his story? What are all his little flaws and quirks? If you do these things, trust me, you're gonna have a great character. HOWEVER: No matter how attached to your main character you may get, PLEASE refrain from making them a 'perfect' individual. That's not how real life works; and stories shouldn't work that way either.

August 29, 2011
Webmaster France Male
AS leader
I had read that one previously, though didn't leave a comment yet.
Great job,your character Shade is very original and I can't wait to read what's next!




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