Air Corps.”

“The air corps? But, sir, I don’t know how to fly,” Spigot said, groveling on the floor at the director’s feet.

“Even better,” Agent C said with a sinister sneer. Without a backwards glance, he left the building.

Wincing at the bang of the door, Dunder said quietly, “Look at the bright side. At least he didn’t feed us to the polar bears.”

“Poor Grandma,” Spigot said tremulously.

The Sea Duck

“What the heck was that?” Baloo said, flipping switches as fast as his fingers would go. The Sea Duck did a 180 degree spin on the snow before soaring into the air.

“An ambush minus the bush.” Louie peered out the starboard window at the rapidly retreating roof of Dimitri’s Place.

“Everybody in there was tryin’ to kill us!”

Hearing a click behind them, they turned to see Natalia holding a gun. Their hearts sank.

“Here, too, cuz,” Louie said ruefully, raising his hands in surrender. “Look, I-I know we ain’t got your aunties’ jewels, Natty baby, but that’s no reason to give us flow-through ventilation.”

“Yeah,” Baloo chuckled nervously. “We’ll help ya find your jewels, scout’s honor, but I can fly a whole lot better without a gat in my back.”

“There never were any jewels, you idiots,” Natalia said contemptuously. Gone was her shy, sweet facade. In her eyes flashed a glint of malice. Her ruby red lips were curved into an evil sneer.

“Th-there aren’t?” Baloo stammered, twiddling his fingers on the control yoke.

“Ya mean all that jazz about your aunties was a lie?” Louie secretly wondered when Natalia’s evil sister came on board.

“Lies. All lies,” she said unconcernedly. With one manicured fingernail, she stroked the gleaming barrel of the gun.

Indignant at being duped twice in one day, Louie asked, “Well, how come you fabricated all them wild yarns?”

“I needed to get the polyester formula,” Natalia said simply.

“You mean you’re a spy, too?” Louie yelped, nearly jumping out of his seat in astonishment.

“I’m surprised you love-sick imbeciles worked that out all by your half-brained selves,” she said snidely as she reached over the pilot’s seat to pluck the formula from Baloo’s shirt pocket.

“What kind of spy?” Baloo asked.

Louie guessed, “Singamorian? Thembrian? Uslandian?”

“Industrial,” Natalia replied, turning the formula over with a look of satisfaction.

Louie exclaimed, “Industrial!”

“Where’s that?” Baloo whispered in a loud aside to Louie.

“It ain’t no country, cousin. She’s playin’ ‘I spy’ for some company.”

“And getting well-paid for it, too,” Natalia said, her smile broadening, training the gun on Baloo and Louie.

“How come you didn’t know that earlier?” Baloo asked Louie accusingly.

“What am I - a mind reader?” Louie shot back.

“You’re s’posed ta be, Swami.”

“Shut your yaps, both of you!” Natalia ordered.

Baloo and Louie were stunned into silence.

After a moment, Baloo murmured, “Man, we’ve been framed.”

“Like an oil painting,” Louie mumbled.

“Who are ya workin’ for, Natty?” Baloo asked, glancing over his shoulder. Seeing the gun, he quickly added “Uh, if ya don’t mind my askin’, that is.”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she said, smiling. Then, her smile turned into a sneer and her eyes gleamed dangerously. “In fact, I think I will.”

“Hold the phone!” Louie said. “Before ya blast us to bits, will ya at least tell us why we’re in this mess?”

She shrugged her slim shoulders. “Fair enough.” Keeping her gun pointed at them, she began her story. “Last week, I was hired by a fabric company to procure the polyester formula Drs. Angus and Dalton were developing. I was given $5,000, a promise of $95,000 upon delivery, and explicit instructions to make sure that the theft would never be linked to me or the company that hired me.

“That being the case, I needed someone to lay the blame on. Thembria came to mind, because no one is easier to dupe than a Thembrian. Well...” she laughed condescendingly, “except for girl-crazy buffaloes like you two.”

Baloo and Louie bristled, their faces darkening with every syllable she spoke.

“So, I went to Mustgo and played in the snow, knowing that it was illegal. True to Thembrian form, I was arrested and thrown into prison. When I was cross-examined by Agent C, I offered a deal promising the delivery of the polyester formula in exchange for my freedom. His beady little eyes lit up at that idea. Having the polyester formula would allow Thembria to produce inexpensive fabric without importing wool or cotton. And if there’s one thing Thembria needs, it’s cheap, warm clothes for all of their so-called glorious people. It’s cold in Thembria.”

“We noticed,” Baloo and Louie said simultaneously, sharing a brief glance. The pilot made a surreptitious motion with his hands. In response, Louie nodded.

“Now all I needed was someone to steal the formula for me. Agent C gave me detailed instructions on what to do when I found my dupe.”

The guys winced.

“Then he flew me to Moola-Boola where there are alwaysmen who are suckers for a pretty face and the promise of money. I ran into you there," she nodded towards Baloo, "and we went to Thembria where we met up with you, Louie. Two dupes for the price of one."

"Nice knowin' you think so highly of us," Louie muttered sarcastically.

"Thinking the safe contained my aunties’ jewels, you gallantly stole the formula from the Dyed in the Wool Factory for poor, helpless, little me and then went to Dimitri’s where it looked like you tried to sell the formula to the Thembrians. All in all, it worked out better than I planned, and the rest, as they say is history. And speaking of history...” She took a step forward.

Louie sprang from his seat. “Wait, Natty baby. You’re forgettin’ one very important thing.”

“What?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow in suspicion.

“We ain’t as dumb as we look.” He grabbed hold of the back of co-pilot’s seat just as Baloo jerked the control yoke sharply to port.

Because Natalia wasn't hanging onto anything, she lost her balance and skidded across the cockpit on her backside. Before she could get up, Louie snatched the formula from her hand.

“Give that back, you big ape! That doesn’t belong to you!” she shouted, chasing Louie around and around the cockpit.

“What a coinky-dink. It don’t belong to you neither, Baby Cakes!” Louie said before escaping into the cargo hold.

Pounding on the door separating the cockpit from the cargo hold, she screamed at the top of her lungs, “I am not your ‘Baby Cakes’!”

“Nobody’s home,” Louie sang from the other side of the door.

Then, she spied the axe designated for emergencies hanging on the cockpit wall. She seized it and started chopping on the door.

“My baby!” Baloo yelped from the pilot’s seat. “You’re hurtin’ my baby!”

“Who asked you?” Natalia snarled.

“More like, ‘Who axed you?’” Louie murmured to himself as he looked around the cargo hold for a means of egress.

“Hey, I’m still flyin’ this here potlicker,” Baloo said angrily.

“Do you want me to use this on you?” Natalia said, meaning the axe.

“When ya put it that way...” Baloo’s sentence trailed off into a nervous laugh.

With a few well-aimed chops, Natalia severed the doorknob. She dropped the axe, picked up her gun, and entered the cargo hold.

Neither Louie nor the formula was nowhere to be seen. Just the usual cargo hold full of crates, boxes, and litter.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Natalia said, peering around a tower of crates.

“Mind if I just drop in?” Louie asked as a large fishnet fell on her and scooped her up, making her shriek in surprise.

Struggling to escape the heavy net, she dropped her gun. “Let me out of here, you dumb ox!"

Louie secured the pulley system suspending the net from the ceiling, then strolled over to, or rather, under her. “Not until you promise to be a good little spy,” he crooned, tickling her toes.

“Never!” spat the furious figure from inside the net.

“Have it your way.” He picked up the swatch of polyester, and ascending the tower of crates, crammed it into Natalia’s mouth. “Aw...look who’s tongue-tied.”

"Mm-mmm-mmmm!"

Bounding into the cockpit, Louie said, “Hey, cuz, I caught me a whopper-tellin’ whopper. Can I keep her?”

“Nah, she's too mean to keep. We oughta toss her back to the authorities,” Baloo replied, grinning. He and Louie shared a high-five.

Dyed in the Wool Yarn Factory
Clipping, Shropshear

Dr. Angus, an intelligent-looking bovine, said to Baloo and Louie, “How can we ever thank you chaps for returning our polyester formula?”

The collie Dr. Dalton slapped Baloo and Louie on the back. “Yes, ripping good sports of you. Saves us lots of extra work redeveloping it, eh, wot?”

Slipping the formula into his lab coat pocket, Dr. Angus said, “Right. By the by, whatever happened to that industrial spy?”

Baloo and Louie exchanged conspiratorial grins.

“Well,” Louie said, “you could say she’s been put out to pasture.”

Baloo pointed to a flock of sheep clustered around a section of nearby fence. In the middle of the curious sheep was Natalia, bound and gagged. The fishnet that encased her was

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