when we looked back, a broad bayish red stallion appeared. "I am the Wild One. Anais, my brothers daughter, has raised me. And for that I thank her. Anais, you're curse, is lifted." after he said this, he touched his muzzle to mine, and a white fire engulfed Faroh. It was soon extenguished and Faroh was no longer evil. He stood and the stone was gone. He was clean and no longer a killer. Broken Dove ran up to the Wild One and nuzzled him. They said good-bye and walked together up the canyon, leaving us in wonder. Serin, however, was still there and evil. He thought quickly and head-butted Faroh into the river and ran away, leaving him to an unwanted death. I ran down the river in time to see Faroh on the bank, his last breath gone. He was dead. I lay down beside him, tears running down my cheeks. I felt Broken Dove nuzzle my shoulder after she saw what happened. She said, "I know what you want. You want to forget this, and to start over. I can do that, but you will forget you had a brother and live a normal life. You will be the only child, you will have no curse, you will still be a seer, and Serin will exist. All this will still exist and will still have happened but you will not remember and you will start over. Are you sure you want this?" I nodded and licked Faroh's fore head once more before I was covered with blank thoughts. That's all I remember before opening my eyes.
I looked out into this world new to me. I stood up, a new foal, and pranced around with the other foals. To me it was just another day as a small foal. An only child, unaware of any dangers. My father was on Highrock and I felt him shiver. "Daddy, what's wrong?" he looked down and said, "I'm just glad your here." I looked up to see a tear roll down his cheek and his fur be ruffled in the wind. I was just happy to be standing next to him, still unaware of anything but a small black filly suckling a silver mare next to a redish bay stallion, not knowing who they were.
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![]() | March 29, 2013 | |
Thanks you guys! I will take your advice and seperate my next story.
Thank you Demeter! JAWC, thanks soooooo much! I am writing a new one.
I'm always writing in first person veiw so it's natural for me.
Please give me future advice please every one! |
| March 29, 2013 | ||
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Wow, your stories are amazing but as Demeter said, you should practice
paragraph separating ; ) Since Anias is still a shaman I think you should most definitely continue it, this storyline and the characters are amazing and entertaining. I envy your ability to sound so natural when you write in first person ![]() |