to Cally, Milly and Sofie and we were joking about how shocked he had been when I'd insulted him. The three girls left us to talk as he approached. "Yes. I'm glad too." I joked. He looked hurt. "Only joking." I said. He started to giggle. "Ha! You're too easy to trick!" he laughed. I felt a little embarrassed and also annoyed at him for no real reason. But he looked quite handsome, laughing in the sunlight so I told myself to lighten up a bit. "And you're too easy to insult... or humiliate..." I said as I shoved him to the side and he skidded and fell in a small mud pool. I was slightly worried what he might do next so I quickly dashed forward, dodging all the others. But I knew he would take it as a joke and I was proved right as he caught me up and swerved me off the main route we were all taking and blocked my way- yet again. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Oliver had mud on his muzzle and ears and he looked so mad it mad me laugh even harder. He nuzzled my muzzle so I got mud on my mouth. He chuckled to himself as he trotted off- swaggering. I caught myself feeling too light- headed around him and immediately stopped laughing. Unbelievable! It had been like he'd put a spell on me. I was quite angry so I swore I wouldn't let him do it again.

 For the rest of the way, I walked with Taydor: talking about his family. "...but enough of my family past! What about you showgirl? What's your family background... life... time like?" he asked me. I gave a half smile but shook my head. "I don't know. I have no idea about my family or my background. I was found drowning by Rain. I was taken to Spirit's herd- the cimmeron as you know and I was brought up there. No one knew anything of my mum or dad or anything. Although I was so young when Rain found me, they are sure that my mum died giving birth to me." I waited for a sympathetic response from Taydor but all I heard him say was "Wow". I dropped the subject and we moved onto the subject of the up coming 'cold days'. That was what we called Autumn and some of winter. It was then it dawned on me how long I'd been away from my home, or what I counted as my home. I missed Spirit dearly and I wanted to talk to Esperanza so much. I didn't really miss Rain though at all.

 As the cold days came closer the herd stayed at the lake place for a lot longer than they were rumored to usually stay somewhere. Taydor seemed to really like it and I felt very comfy there too. Cally became pregnant with her first foal. I was quite shocked to hear that she was expecting. "Cally," I whispered to her one day, "who is the dad? I mean you're not with anyone are you?" She laughed as I asked her that. "Shhhh!" I tried to get her to be quieter. "Oh my days, Celie! You're so 'by the book'! Ha! You make me laugh!" she said it with such ease I guessed it was okay for her to have a foal with any guy- ruling out perhaps Taydor and any relations. It was then I thought how quite strict the cimmeron was. Again I got that empty, cold, alone feeling. But it wasn't saying that I missed the cimmeron. It was more like I needed to stay away from them. I walked away from Cally to find Taydor. But a tall horse blocked my path. I recognized the blue eyes and cream body as Ollie... Oliver, even. I was trying to stop myself from calling him that because I didn't want him thinking I was his friend or he was mine. "Hello." he said with a voice that I could tell was supposed to make me laugh but I managed to suppress it. I didn't look at him in the eyes- I was afraid. "Are you okay?" he questioned, sounding a lot more serious than before. I nodded my head. He came right near me trying to get me to look at him but I just avoided his eye contact even more. He gave up trying to get me to look at him but I could feel his eyes staring at me. I knew he knew something was up but I don't think he knew quite what.

 The cold days came quite soon after that day. I knew that Oliver didn't like storms of any kind; we all hated snow storms and sooner or later we knew one would come. It was shockingly cold and before long- winter had come, along with snow and ice. I enjoyed the snow and I know a few others did but Cally was getting poorly and so we all had to think of her and her foal. She had caught a fever of some sort that none of us could help to get better. She shivered and breathed heavy for most of the time. Some of us wondered if it was side-effects to the foal inside her growing: including me and Taydor. He was extremely worried about Cally. She'd been one of his best friend for a long time and he wasn't ready for anything to make her sad. We all were running low on food but any of the little we found was mainly given to Cally. We thought our efforts had payed off when we all woke to find Cally gone. Everyone thought she'd gone walking after barely being able to stand for two weeks. But our happiness and excitement was cut short when a shrieking neigh came from Sofie. We all rushed to find her. We found her staring at a sight that made us all sick to our stomachs. I nearly retched from the shock and I heard Taydor suck his breath in with unbelief. Sofie saw us and ran behind Taydor in the hope of shielding herself from the sight. There before us, was Cally. Dead. She had a small stream of blood coming from her mouth. But what made us feel sick was the fact that she had been in labor when she'd died. I won't say how we knew that- it's too awful. But I couldn't quite believe it at first. Cally wasn't dead. She couldn't be dead- she couldn't- she couldn't- she couldn't! I kept saying it in my head but I eventually burst out into tears. I felt another horse come beside me. Oliver. I turned my gaze from Cally and cried onto Ollie's shoulder for as long as I needed.

 The days went slowly from then on. We were all in shock from Cally's death. I was almost in a state of depression but I could tell that Taydor was the most deeply hurt. Cally hadn't had any family in the herd so as her best friend- Taydor felt like a brother to her. Brother. The word echoed in my head like a little voice shouting in my head. I was getting really creeped out by all the signs. I'd had another dream about Taydor talking to me about him being my brother, but that time it had ended with me getting torn away from him instead of the other way round. The cold days seemed to be lasting forever until finally one day- we woke up to sunshine and birds singing. It was still cold but at least it had been sunnier than usual. I'd begun to spend more time with Ollie. Just us on our own, no one else, and I liked it that way. That's when he was himself- not some male brute who made horrid jokes at me to embarrass me. One day we were talking beside the lakes edge, watching the beautiful sun setting reflected in the water. "It's so pretty here!" I stated. He looked at me expecting me to expand on the statement but I didn't so he chipped in with "It is isn't it." But he didn't take his eyes off me when he said it which made me shiver. But not because I was cold. I felt myself about to blush so instead of facing the humiliation and mockery from Ollie: I turned to face him to tell him that I was feeling too warm. But when I did, his face was very close to mine. It reminded me of when I'd first met him, except that I didn't feel hatred towards him. "Ollie?" I said. He chuckled a bit. "You're finally calling me by my good name!" he said. I smiled at him. "Well, I've gotten used to you now, so..." but I didn't finish because then he pushed his muzzle right up to mine and our noses touched. I didn't want to break away so I just rubbed my nose on his. We fell asleep intertwined, listening to the birds singing slowly stop, until all we could hear were each others hearts beating.

 I expected to wake up in the morning feeling happy, in the moment and blissful. I couldn't quite believe it myself. I had fallen in love with Ollie. Ollie! But I had. I loved him so much! I opened my eyes and I suddenly felt strange. I rolled over and something was missing. Something was wrong because Ollie wasn't next to me, like he should have been. I started to panic but then reminded myself that he must have gone to stretch or eat or... drink. But we were right next to a lake and we were on a fresh bed of grass. Then I started to worry. I hastily got up and glanced round. I turned left and right; far and near but I couldn't see, hear or smell him. He'd left me in the night. I instantly felt sad and alone but a sudden rush of anger ran through me. I bolted to where everyone else was just starting to wake and saw Ollie with Sofie. He was talking to her. They looked smitten with each other. My anger subsided and I was left with the feeling of pure desolation. In a moment, I'd gone from a cloud high in the sky- to the darkest, deepest part of a cold ocean. Then Ollie nuzzled her in the way he'd done to me. I hadn't realized that I'd started to cry. Cally. Ollie. How many more would I loose? Yet I was determined not to lose any more.

 I don't think Ollie thought much of sleeping next to me and then leaving me to go spend the rest of the night sleeping next to Sofie- one of my best friends! He kept on smiling at me and trying to brush my nose with his. But I wouldn't let him. I tried to ignore him completely and I spent more time with Taydor. We talked for hours and hours a day and I was getting closer to believing that me and him were brother and sister. And it made sense- I did really like him a lot, but not in that way, in a more brotherly way. Also, I was beginning to think the dreams had gone; they hadn't. I am running through the endless forest and it is starting to rain. Spirit is laughing at me and taunting me again. "You lost Ollie and Cally! You lost Ollie and Cally! You