I am running through a wood. Running away from something that I can not see. It is raining and I feel like I'm running for my life. What am I running from? I don't know and it's starting to scare me. I keep running and running and running and... "Celie! Wake up!" Taydor nuzzled me awake. I jumped at the sight of him so close to my face. I still was trying to get used to the fact that he was Taydor. He was the horse that Spirit was so angry at. This was the horse who apparently wanted to challenge Spirit. This was the male stallion who may have been my brother... "Celie! Are you okay?" he shouted at me. My eyes finally focused and I nodded my head slowly. The dreams had become more frequent but lately the dream had been the same- me running through a wood- the same wood- the same weather- the same everything. I was so scared of going to sleep that it was becoming a habit not to. Taydor had been moaning at me for a long time, trying to get me to sleep but I think he was sick of having to wake me up. And of me waking him up.

 "Come on Celie! We're nearly at my herd. It's so annoying that they keep moving about but the Dunez are a good herd." He usually said that to me. "What if they don't like me and I get all left out?" I asked him. He laughed to himself and stopped; spun round to face me. "Why are you so worried about what they'll think of you? If you're my friend then they like you." He smiled and turned around to keep on going. I stayed still for a bit- wondering to myself why I felt it was so important for the herd to like me. I'd just had a feeling that if they didn't... it would be bad. "Why didn't you say anything to me when I first met you? I was getting really annoyed you know!" I wanted to make a few things clear to him about me. Like the fact that I didn't like being messed around with, by anyone. "I don't know actually! I... I think I felt as though I needed to make sure you were the horse from my dream before I started to babble on about some random thing that you would of thought was crazy." I smiled to myself. "I felt like a right idiot though. I was standing infront of you and you just let me say hello and smile and act like a total insane horse! I felt like one of those show horses." Taydor looked at me like I was going mad. "You know! They have to do things for other people to watch and never get anything back." But I realized as I said it, it sounded quite mad. I winced and laughed quietly again. Taydor started to laugh as well. "Well, Celie of the cimmeron- that's what I'll call you from now on. My 'showgirl'." I stopped laughing. I didn't want to be anyone's 'showgirl'. "No! Don't call me that it sounds like I'm your mate or something worse!" I protested. "Oh come on showgirl! Only I can call you that!" Taydor then carried on trotting, following the herds scent. I had a feeling that I was going to have to get used to it.

 I am running through the woods. Again I am running from something I can not see. It's getting darker though. This time another horse is running next to me. It's Spirit but he's laughing at me cruelly. "You can't run Celie!" he shouts. "You can't..."  I was shook awake again by Taydor. "Showgirl! Wake up! Showgirl! CELIE!" he was shouting like mad. I guessed that I had been screaming or something for quite a long time. I breathed out, realizing that I had been holding my breath. I was trembling slightly and I had a sweat on my face. "Was it the same dream again?" Taydor asked me. I nodded- still breathing quite deeply. He shoved an apple in my mouth and laughed as he stood up and started walking. I bit the apple, tasting its sweetness and juiciness. I lifted myself to catch up with Taydor. He had disappeared over a slight hill and as I followed him over it- a herd of about twenty or so horses stood before me. They were all grazing silently but each lifted their heads and nickered as Taydor passed them by. He turned and signaled to me to follow so I did as he said obediently. I felt so nervous, walking through a herd of horses who I didn't know. I instantly knew it was the Dunez herd. I had found what I was looking for- but I suddenly felt as though I had no idea what to do.

 After Taydor had gathered the herd and said his hellos, he started to introduce me to them. "Celie. This is Cally my best friend and Hayden my other best friend. This is Riley, Jet, Lucks, Flutt, Destiny, Milly, Cradle, Sofie..." Taydor flew names at me from one end of the line to the other until I'd met the whole herd. I knew I wouldn't remember their names for a while. I realized it was a very male herd- with only six mares in the whole herd and maybe a few female foals. Afterwards, everything calmed down a bit and Taydor introduced me properly to Cally one of his best friends. She was a simple colour of white but she had a black star on her forehead and her mane was a grey shade instead of pure white. She smiled full of friendliness and I knew she would be a great friend to me. She was the only who had shown any sign of welcome since I had come. "Hi Celie! I've wanted to meet the horse haunting Taydor's dreams for quite a while. Then he said he'd had a dream about you looking for him and I said that I had to come but he made me stay here- he's the worst isn't he?!" she was a talkative mare but I liked her. She made me feel at home and like I belonged where I was.

 I was glad of the rest- we had been searching for his herd since about two weeks before and I had been searching for him another week or two before that! He had a good strong herd and I could tell their were some close connections between them all. But another male came to the herd: one I knew too well. It was the Ollie horse who had tried to turn onto me. I was horrified to think that he was friends with Taydor, but it was much worst- he was amember of the Dunez. GREAT! "Oh you have to be kidding me!" I said to Cally (who by then was my best friend). She laughed in a jokey way. "I know he's so handsome! Isn't he!" she squealed. At that moment I hated her but then I remembered that she wouldn't know his bad side- he would only show it when he wasn't around horses he knew. He was greeted back by the herd and he spoke to Taydor for a little while. But then he spotted me and he froze. "Are you following me? Stalking me?" he asked me. He sounded different than when I had first seen him: almost kind. "The only thing that would stalk you would be a dung fly!" I snorted and turned to walk the other way. I heard a few "OH!!"s from the other mares and felt quite proud of myself for being so confident after only being there for about three days. I heard Taydor's laugh above the others and once again I felt right at home.

 I am running from the unseen behind me. Spirit is running next to me again. He is laughing cruelly at me. "You can't run Celie! It will catch you up! I sent you here for a reason- get on with it!" I keep on running. The forest goes on forever and ever. I woke up with a start. Cally was next to me- still sleeping. At least I hadn't screamed that time. I looked around and a shadow caught my gaze. I got up, trying not to wake any of the others, and silently approached the horse. He turned round so I could see it was a stallion. "Hello Celie of the cimmeron!" he said to me. Again I was shocked at how friendly he sounded. "What's your name? You called yourself Ollie when I saw you but that was probably a lie." I asked him. He smiled. "My name is Ollie. Or Oliver. But that sounds too formal." he said. "Oh and we both know that you're not very good at being formal!" I commented. He laughed. A very different laugh to when he had tried to come on to me. I couldn't help but smile.

 That day, Taydor and me went to find another possible place to rest and feed for the herd. He said that they tried to move on as often as possible so that other herds couldn't track them. "Why?" I asked him. He seemed a bit awkward so I changed the subject. "Where did you meet Oliver?" I questioned. It was only after I said it that I realized it wasn't the best thing to ask. But it was too late. "We were friends as foals. My foster mum was his real mum so he's like a brother to me." Taydor answered. I wondered why Oliver had been so mean to me, he sounded really nice. "Foster? You don't have any parents?" I asked. He thought for a moment how to answer the question. "Well... I do have a mum but I wanted to have an adventure but she wanted to stay where she was. I don't know my dad because he left my mum before I was born." I felt so sorry for him. "What herd was your mum with?" I questioned yet again. "Oh she wasn't part of any herd- she was a working horse." Taydor replied. It dawned on me that if Taydor and me were related- then I would have work horse blood in me. Which was strange seeing how much I hated humans. I didn't think there was much else to say so we simply kept on plodding through fields and woods until we found the perfect spot to rest the herd. It was a huge grassy field but was surrounded by rows of trees on either side and had a small lake in the middle. It was beautiful, really beautiful. "Well no need to ask your opinion- your drooling a little!" Taydor joked. I grinned.

 When all the herd were moving to the lake place me and Taydor had found, I spoke to a lot of the horses in the herd and found that I had somehow earned some respect from the insult to Oliver. "Well I'm glad my humiliation and misfortune is helping you!" he said as he approached me from behind. I had been talking to Cally, Milly and Sofie and we were joking about how shocked he had been when I'd insulted him. The three girls left us to talk as he approached. "Yes. I'm glad too." I joked. He looked hurt. "Only joking." I said. He started to giggle. "Ha! You're too easy to trick!" he laughed. I felt a little embarrassed and also annoyed at him for no real reason. But he looked quite handsome, laughing in the sunlight so I told myself to lighten up a bit. "And you're too easy to insult... or humiliate..." I said as I shoved him to the side and he skidded and fell in a small mud pool. I was slightly worried what he might do next so I quickly dashed forward, dodging all the others. But I knew he would take it as a joke and I was proved right as he caught me up and swerved me off the main route we were all taking and blocked my way- yet again. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Oliver had mud on his muzzle and ears and he looked so mad it mad me laugh even harder. He nuzzled my muzzle so I got mud on my mouth. He chuckled to himself as he trotted off- swaggering. I caught myself feeling too light- headed around him and immediately stopped laughing. Unbelievable! It had been like he'd put a spell on me. I was quite angry so I swore I wouldn't let him do it again.

 For the rest of the way, I walked with Taydor: talking about his family. "...but enough of my family past! What about you showgirl? What's your family background... life... time like?" he asked me. I gave a half smile but shook my head. "I don't know. I have no idea about my family or my background. I was found drowning by Rain. I was taken to Spirit's herd- the cimmeron as you know and I was brought up there. No one knew anything of my mum or dad or anything. Although I was so young when Rain found me, they are sure that my mum died giving birth to me." I waited for a sympathetic response from Taydor but all I heard him say was "Wow". I dropped the subject and we moved onto the subject of the up coming 'cold days'. That was what we called Autumn and some of winter. It was then it dawned on me how long I'd been away from my home, or what I counted as my home. I missed Spirit dearly and I wanted to talk to Esperanza so much. I didn't really miss Rain though at all.

 As the cold days came closer the herd stayed at the lake place for a lot longer than they were rumored to usually stay somewhere. Taydor seemed to really like it and I felt very comfy there too. Cally became pregnant with her first foal. I was quite shocked to hear that she was expecting. "Cally," I whispered to her one day, "who is the dad? I mean you're not with anyone are you?" She laughed as I asked her that. "Shhhh!" I tried to get her to be quieter. "Oh my days, Celie! You're so 'by the book'! Ha! You make me laugh!" she said it with such ease I guessed it was okay for her to have a foal with any guy- ruling out perhaps Taydor and any relations. It was then I thought how quite strict the cimmeron was. Again I got that empty, cold, alone feeling. But it wasn't saying that I missed the cimmeron. It was more like I needed to stay away from them. I walked away from Cally to find Taydor. But a tall horse blocked my path. I recognized the blue eyes and cream body as Ollie... Oliver, even. I was trying to stop myself from calling him that because I didn't want him thinking I was his friend or he was mine. "Hello." he said with a voice that I could tell was supposed to make me laugh but I managed to suppress it. I didn't look at him in the eyes- I was afraid. "Are you okay?" he questioned, sounding a lot more serious than before. I nodded my head. He came right near me trying to get me to look at him but I just avoided his eye contact even more. He gave up trying to get me to look at him but I could feel his eyes staring at me. I knew he knew something was up but I don't think he knew quite what.

 The cold days came quite soon after that day. I knew that Oliver didn't like storms of any kind; we all hated snow storms and sooner or later we knew one would come. It was shockingly cold and before long- winter had come, along with snow and ice. I enjoyed the snow and I know a few others did but Cally was getting poorly and so we all had to think of her and her foal. She had caught a fever of some sort that none of us could help to get better. She shivered and breathed heavy for most of the time. Some of us wondered if it was side-effects to the foal inside her growing: including me and Taydor. He was extremely worried about Cally. She'd been one of his best friend for a long time and he wasn't ready for anything to make her sad. We all were running low on food but any of the little we found was mainly given to Cally. We thought our efforts had payed off when we all woke to find Cally gone. Everyone thought she'd gone walking after barely being able to stand for two weeks. But our happiness and excitement was cut short when a shrieking neigh came from Sofie. We all rushed to find her. We found her staring at a sight that made us all sick to our stomachs. I nearly retched from the shock and I heard Taydor suck his breath in with unbelief. Sofie saw us and ran behind Taydor in the hope of shielding herself from the sight. There before us, was Cally. Dead. She had a small stream of blood coming from her mouth. But what made us feel sick was the fact that she had been in labor when she'd died. I won't say how we knew that- it's too awful. But I couldn't quite believe it at first. Cally wasn't dead. She couldn't be dead- she couldn't- she couldn't- she couldn't! I kept saying it in my head but I eventually burst out into tears. I felt another horse come beside me. Oliver. I turned my gaze from Cally and cried onto Ollie's shoulder for as long as I needed.

 The days went slowly from then on. We were all in shock from Cally's death. I was almost in a state of depression but I could tell that Taydor was the most deeply hurt. Cally hadn't had any family in the herd so as her best friend- Taydor felt like a brother to her. Brother. The word echoed in my head like a little voice shouting in my head. I was getting really creeped out by all the signs. I'd had another dream about Taydor talking to me about him being my brother, but that time it had ended with me getting torn away from him instead of the other way round. The cold days seemed to be lasting forever until finally one day- we woke up to sunshine and birds singing. It was still cold but at least it had been sunnier than usual. I'd begun to spend more time with Ollie. Just us on our own, no one else, and I liked it that way. That's when he was himself- not some male brute who made horrid jokes at me to embarrass me. One day we were talking beside the lakes edge, watching the beautiful sun setting reflected in the water. "It's so pretty here!" I stated. He looked at me expecting me to expand on the statement but I didn't so he chipped in with "It is isn't it." But he didn't take his eyes off me when he said it which made me shiver. But not because I was cold. I felt myself about to blush so instead of facing the humiliation and mockery from Ollie: I turned to face him to tell him that I was feeling too warm. But when I did, his face was very close to mine. It reminded me of when I'd first met him, except that I didn't feel hatred towards him. "Ollie?" I said. He chuckled a bit. "You're finally calling me by my good name!" he said. I smiled at him. "Well, I've gotten used to you now, so..." but I didn't finish because then he pushed his muzzle right up to mine and our noses touched. I didn't want to break away so I just rubbed my nose on his. We fell asleep intertwined, listening to the birds singing slowly stop, until all we could hear were each others hearts beating.

 I expected to wake up in the morning feeling happy, in the moment and blissful. I couldn't quite believe it myself. I had fallen in love with Ollie. Ollie! But I had. I loved him so much! I opened my eyes and I suddenly felt strange. I rolled over and something was missing. Something was wrong because Ollie wasn't next to me, like he should have been. I started to panic but then reminded myself that he must have gone to stretch or eat or... drink. But we were right next to a lake and we were on a fresh bed of grass. Then I started to worry. I hastily got up and glanced round. I turned left and right; far and near but I couldn't see, hear or smell him. He'd left me in the night. I instantly felt sad and alone but a sudden rush of anger ran through me. I bolted to where everyone else was just starting to wake and saw Ollie with Sofie. He was talking to her. They looked smitten with each other. My anger subsided and I was left with the feeling of pure desolation. In a moment, I'd gone from a cloud high in the sky- to the darkest, deepest part of a cold ocean. Then Ollie nuzzled her in the way he'd done to me. I hadn't realized that I'd started to cry. Cally. Ollie. How many more would I loose? Yet I was determined not to lose any more.

 I don't think Ollie thought much of sleeping next to me and then leaving me to go spend the rest of the night sleeping next to Sofie- one of my best friends! He kept on smiling at me and trying to brush my nose with his. But I wouldn't let him. I tried to ignore him completely and I spent more time with Taydor. We talked for hours and hours a day and I was getting closer to believing that me and him were brother and sister. And it made sense- I did really like him a lot, but not in that way, in a more brotherly way. Also, I was beginning to think the dreams had gone; they hadn't. I am running through the endless forest and it is starting to rain. Spirit is laughing at me and taunting me again. "You lost Ollie and Cally! You lost Ollie and Cally! You can't get them back! Would you lose your brother too?" I am slightly confused in the dream- my brother? Then I am no longer running through a rainy forest but through sunny fields with the sun shining down. I stop as I hear a neigh from behind me. I turn to see a mare lying on the field- her huge belly panting and heaving as the foal comes out of her. But something is wrong. After she gives one last heave and the foal is out- she doesn't move. I recognize her from somewhere and then I look at the little tiny foal that is trying to stand up without anyone to help it. I gasp, as I realize that the dark brown, black eyed tiny filly: is me. Then Rain comes as I try to drink from the lake but fall in instead, and she rescues me. But me and Rain are not what I take a closer look at. I stare at the dead body of my mum- and now I realize it- Taydor's mum. The mare is exactly how Taydor explained his mum. I now know that I have a family member alive and well and with me. A tear runs down my cheek. A tear of happiness and also a tear of sadness that I never knew my mum or dad. Suddenly, a cloud of mist comes upon me and again I am running through the forest. It's raining and I eventually come to a clearing. But I can't see any where to go. Unexpectedly, my feet aren't on ground any longer and I fall. Fall into a lost cavern of my hope. Fall as if the days and nights of the past months were my last bit of life. Fall into the darkness that will engulf me forever.

 After the dream- I was sure that me and Taydor were brother and sister. It made sense. I loved him like a sister would love a brother and no way else. But thinking about love made me more sad and depressed over Ollie. I loved him, I hated him, I didn't know how to feel or act around him. It took me quite a while but I finally managed to muster the courage to tell Taydor about my dream. And what a surprise I got when I did- he'd had the same dream as me, the exact same one. It was then that we were both sure that we were brother and sister. We smiled at each other and I knew that I had a home: with Taydor and the Dunez.

 Taydor announced that I was his sister to the whole herd about a week later and they took it really well. All except Ollie. He looked unhappy and angry for most of the time after that. But I had no idea why until about two days later when a shock announcement came from Sofie. She stood up and moved to the middle of the herd. In a loud voice she told us all that she was expecting. It shocked me enough to think that she was pregnant but then to learn that the father was Ollie... Ollie. OLLIE! I couldn't believe it. I hated him in that second. I hated him so much. I surveyed the herd till my gaze found and rested on him. To my surprise he looked at me. Right in the eye. I gave him a look of disgust then galloped off away from the excited herd all congratulating Sofie and Ollie. I kept on going. I didn't turn back- just kept going. I heard another horse approaching me from the back but I didn't want to talk to anyone so I went faster. "Showgirl!" It was Taydor. I slowed to let him catch up. "That's the second time you've done that to me. What's up?" he asked me, breathing deeply. I hadn't realized how hard I'd been crying until I then started to try to talk to him and explain. Instantly he looked worried and he nuzzled me to comfort me. I let him, it felt right since he was my older brother. "It's... it's... it's everything really... I... don't know what... to do..." I explained imbetween sobs. Taydor hushed me and it helped to know he was there. I was able to breath properly soon and we just stood there.

 I went into depression after that. Everything had seemed to go so wrong so quickly after Cally died. Taydor helped me to try and find a will to live again. I don't think he realized that he was that will, he kept me going. I saw less of Ollie and Sofie, they were probably so excited waiting for the foal that they just spoke to each other about what to do when it was born. And I was on my own. No one except for Taydor to talk to. I'd let Ollie in, I'd loved him and he left me heartbroken. Ofcourse I'd be upset and depressed.

 Ollie surprised me one day by actually coming and talking to me. I didn't think he'd have had the nerve. But apparently he did. I sensed him approach so I felt like I had to show him I was over him- even though I wasn't- so I turned to face him. I saw him and instantly all the emotions came back that I'd been trying to push down for days. I didn't sense it coming but I suddenly lashed out at him. I kicked him and bucked him. He didn't fight back and when I knocked him to the floor, he stayed put- not moving- not trying to stand. Seeing him as vunerable as he was made me want to break down again and take him back. I stopped kicking but stayed still, breathing deeply. Ollie looked up at me and I saw in his eyes such emotion and longing that I had to catch my breath. "Celie- listen to me." he said tenderly. "Please." as he whispered that last word, I knew that I loved him and that I could never hate him ever. I never had hated him, I had just missed him. "What?" I still spoke with harshness. He struggled to get up. When he did he looked into my eyes like the evening I'd fallen in love with him. "Me and Sofie. We're not anything. She made a mistake- the foal isn't mine. When she woke me up that morning I was with you and told me that she was expecting my foal, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt her. I thought I might as well be a good father than leave her pregnant. How bad would that have looked?" he explained. It would have been bad, I understood. "Celie... I love you. I've always loved you, more than anyone ever could. I want to start a life with you- if you want that?" as he said those words, I was the happiest I'd ever been. I smiled for the first time in days and I knew no one would bring me down from the high heavens where I was at that moment. "Yes! I do!"

 Me and Ollie were happy as can be. Taydor was happy for me and was even happier to here that he was going to have a brother-in-law. Two years later, I gave birth to a beautiful filly. We called her Livie. As time went on I slowly forgot about the cimmeron and Spirit. They would realize that I'd left the herd. The dreams stopped almost straight after the day Ollie said he loved me. It dawned on me that the dreams had been saying that I couldn't run from the cimmeron forever but then I wasn't running from them. Instead of running from the cimmeron, I was running towards the Dunez and I had found my home.