Holding On

By Cowgirl645

Prologue

He didn’t want to leave her there, but he didn’t have a choice. The hundreds of miles of wilderness he called home were just not the… best place to keep a small baby. There were too many dangers. Cougars, wolves, rouge and savage Indians. That was just the beginning. Ever since her mother died, he couldn’t feed her. She had gone for two days without eating, and she wouldn’t have survived if he hadn’t given her to them.

Percy walked away from the Calvary, his tears making tiny potholes for the ants and other insects crawling around on the sandy desert path. Percy didn’t dare look back for fear of losing too much water. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves, making the many heat waves ahead of him look like the river. His long blonde hair fell in his face, but he didn’t bother to brush it away. Pictures of Danni kept filling his mind, bringing more tears to his eyes. He was almost glad for those memories; he didn’t know when, or if, he would see Danni again.

A scorpion shuffled past his shoe, but he ignored it and kept walking. Most of the animals here would be dangerous to an infant, right? Percy tried to reassure himself, but he had a hard time. He hoped that he wouldn’t feel like this for long. He hated this feeling. Ever since that fire in the schoolhouse, he always had a hard time moving on. He hated to admit it to himself, but he often turned to moving around, making sure he never grew attached to anything. First the schoolhouse, then his wife, and now Danni. Percy made a vow that day: he would never get attached to anyone; the pain was just too much to bear.

Chapter one

Percy poked at the small fire absent-mindedly as he gazed at the stars. His eyes started to droop, and he let out a long yawn. He usually didn’t stay up this late, but he just couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was eerie silence that loomed around him. It wasn’t this quiet most of the time. Or maybe it was the memory.

Starting at sunset that evening, it was exactly ten years since he had given Danni away. He gently wiped away a small tear from his eye. At least he knew she was safe. She wasn’t in danger of some famished predator or intense and violent Indians, or the any of the other dangers of travelling like this. No, she was safe at the Calvary, probably sleeping now. When she woke up, she’d go off, maybe feed the horses or help the Colonel with something.

Percy sighed. He often wondered what she looked like. Only seeing her when she was two wasn’t a great reference to guessing what she looked like now. He imagined her having blonde hair, maybe green eyes like her mother’s. A few more tears came out at the thought of his deceased wife, but he forced himself to go back to thoughts about Danni’s appearance. He finished her off with a beautiful dress and a bow. Percy smiled in satisfaction, but that happy moment was soon replaced with sorrow. He had a hard time remembering Danni’s face, no matter how much he tried to grasp at it.

Oh, how he wished he could visit her. But with all of his travels, he hardly came over the same patch of grass; if he did it was a complete coincidence. He just couldn’t remember where that Calvary was, after all, he’d only been there once, and that was ten years ago. Percy exhaled deeply through his nose, frustrated about this memory loss.

Percy kicked some loose dirt over the fire, making the flames dwindle and reduce in size. Once the fire was out, he laid down with his back against a tree. He wanted to stay up longer, but he wanted to sleep at the same time. He wanted the depressing thoughts to go away, and sleeping would help, but who was to say that sleeping wouldn’t cause some nasty nightmares? His eyelids threatening to clamp shut, and his yawns becoming more frequent, he decided to try to sleep. He made himself comfortable on the ground; sleeping outside all these years had made him accustomed to these hard resting places.

Most of Percy’s dreams weren’t that bad, but tonight his dream was almost unbearable.

He was in the dark; the only light was a few stars peeping out from the clouds covering the moon and the rest of the stars. He was searching for firewood, but had a hard as it had just rained an hour ago. A deafening roar pierced the night air, and Percy tried to run back to the fire, but something grabbed his arm, holding him in place. He tried to turn around and attack this intruder, but in his dream he couldn’t move his head. A terrified shriek came from the campsite. Percy’s heart attempted to thump out of his chest. He tried pulling away, but his handler had an iron grip.

Then, complete silence. Only the sound of rustling leaves. The clasp on his arm released, and he sprinted towards the campsite. The whole site was destroyed. The tent he had put up was shredded by what looked like claw marks. Steam rose from the extinguished fire where the tin pitcher of water he kept had been knocked over; a large dent was placed in the side. But none of that mattered at the moment.

Hannah and Danni were gone. Just gone. He searched the whole area, but there was no sign of them. Percy had more tears coming down. He thought he had lost them for sure. He scolded himself. This was why he was always a soloist; there was always too big a chance of losing dear ones. He kicked a pile of leaves, scattering them around. A few wet leaves landed on his jacket, but he didn’t wipe them off. He looked at the tops of the trees, searching for a flicker of hope. And a flicker of hope was given.

A soft wail coming from up above sounded, and Percy looked upward to see a small infant. Overjoyed, he ran to the tiny Danni in the tree branch. He gently picked her up and cradled her, keeping his eyes in constant search, but he couldn’t find Hannah. He tried calling out to her, but no one answered. Not even the chirping of the birds or the rustling leaves in the trees. Percy bit his lip to keep himself from crying, but it was no use. He turned away, and the real Percy woke up.

Percy woke up with a start, his hand clutching his chest. He tried to calm himself down. He hated that exaggerated dream version of that dreaded day. Once calmed down, he sighed. He doused out what was left from the small fire. Percy didn’t want to go back to sleep, mostly because of these nightmares that kept haunting him every night. And the fact that the sun would rise in about half an hour. Percy didn’t want to just sit there; he needed something else other than bad memories racing around in his mind.

Rustling leaves. Perfect excuse. Percy listened carefully as he walked towards the sound. He didn’t usually come towards sounds like these; they almost always turned out to be hungry animals. But this time there was an exception. The sounds grew louder as Percy silently drew closer. Something made a stomping noise, and the rustles stopped. Percy pulled back some bushes standing in his path. Bad move. A shrill squeal sounded, then a large thud, and Percy went black.

Alano’s nostrils quivered nervously as he sniffed the human. It was pale looking, with a purple splotch growing on its forehead. It looked dead, but Alano couldn’t be sure. He played with the creature’s light mane, at least that’s what it looked like to Alano. The creature didn’t even flinch. Alano put his head up looked around, backed away slowly. The leaves crunched under his hooves, sending shivers down his back. He hated the loud sounds that came from the leaves, it was too easy to hear. That’s probably how this human found me.I didn’t mean to hurt it! He looked around again.My master would not be pleased. Alano did a quick search around. Satifyed with the silence, he started to trot away.

The multicolored leaves were thrown up into the air as Alano steadily built up his speed to a canter. He enjoyed taking in the forest’s beauty. Leaves of all shades of reds, oranges, and yellows fluttered around on the air’s current without a care in the world. Once down, the winds picked them up again, blowing them into Alano’s dark brown mess of a mane. Alano shook his head, moving his forelock out of its usual place in front of his eyes.

A lower branch scraped his back, adding to the numerous scars on his brown coat. Another thing he hated about the forest. If a predator ever chased him, he couldn’t run full speed to get away. Thankfully, no enemies had gone after him, but he had a feeling that it would happen any day now. Who knows, he thought, Maybe the creature was a warning. Maybe I should go back to the plains.

He sighed. He hated the outside plains. None of those horses wanted him. They never understood him; and he didn’t understand them. Now, because of this lack of communication, he had been shunned from all herds. The worst shunning was with a fairly large herd of horses, led by this lightly colored horse. Once Alano’s difference had been noted to the herd, he was ignored. Alano figured the herd had taken a vote or something, but after a few minutes, the stallion started making threatning positions. A pale colored palimino tugged on on the stallion’s mane, but he ignored her. He started to charge Alano, until a pinto blocked the way in front of him. The stallion had then stopped and tried to look behind the stuborn pinto, but she refused to move. She started yelling at the dun stallion in a language Alano didn’t understand. The mare ended her lecture with a deciding stomp of her hoof. The stallion glared at Alano with pure hatred, then hesitantly turned and walked away. That was the last time Alano had made contact with another horse.

Alano stayed at a canter, keeping his eyes ahead. Visons of his previous home filled his mind. He had enjoyed his boy’s small farm. Meals were served to his needs. Exercise was not a problem for he had been ridden everyday. On summer nights he gazed at the stars and during the winter he had a warm barn full of hay. But that pleasant life had been cut short when he was sent away. The boy’s father put him a loud machine, and he had never seen his boy since.

As he approached the edge of the woods, a flock of birds fluttered out of the way. Feathers fell onto his face, making him snort. The bright sunshine blinded his eyes, as he was used to the darkness of the forest. Pale grass hugged his shanks, and he couldn’t resist the urge to roll. All of the tick and mosqueeto bites felt like they weren’t even there.

Once finished, he just lied there, basking in the warmth of the sun. Though fall, it was much sunnier and warmer without the shade of the trees. Alano nibbled on the grass, not aware of the thing creeping behind him.

Pushing her long blonde hair back, Danni continued brushing the brown Calvary horse’s fur, Big Brown by name. The Calvary people weren’t too clever when it came to naming horses. Cupid stood by the corral fence and played around with her hair, making her laugh. “Aww, stop it!” she said playfully as she gently pushed his head back. Big Brown snorted and rolled his eyes.

Danni often had to groom and care for the other horses, not that she was complaining. She loved to be around the horses, espeacially with her stallion Cupid and his mate Venus. She treated them differently from the Calvary soldiers, as they used  beatings and harsh punishment as their form of discipline. This harsh treatment had been used on Venus; she had just now gotten used to Danni.

Venus poked her head in with Cupid and nuzzled him. Danni stroked both of them on their muzzles and gazed into their eyes. She didn’t know what she would do without them. “Danni! Quit fooling around and get back to work!” She almost jumped out of her skin. “Yes, sir!” She yelled. Picking up the brush again, she started brushing the dusty horse again.

Because the Calvary supplied all her needs, she was forced to work for them. Mostly she mucked out stalls, fed and watered, and groomed the horses. If she refused to do it, she had no idea what would happen to her and her horses. She’d always imagined that they’d kick her out, but she had seen what they did to Indians who were caught snooping up here, leaving her wondering just how harsh the Calvary was.

Cupid sensed her discomfort and nudged her head, blowing in her face softly. She smiled slightly and rubbed his cheek. The pinto continued blowing, letting her know that he was her friend and was there for her. An impatient stamp came from Big Brown, wanting the brushing to continue. “Alright, alright. I’m coming.” She said mentally to the Calvary horse.

That night, no clouds covered the sky, leaving the stars in clear sight. The heat of the day expired as the moon came up, giving everything a silvery hue. Danni leaned on Cupid’s neck, softly rubbing it neatly into one direction. Venus grazed on one of the few patches of greenery a few feet away, watching Danni closly. Danni could tell that the young mare was still wary of her. She was trying her best to get her used to humans, or at least herself.

Cupid started to gallop, stretching his legs one more time before going back to the stables. Danni often took Cupid and Venus out in the corral to ride every night, one it was a lot cooler, and two, with all her chores, there was hardly any time to ride. Though she couldn’t ride Venus just yet, she was working on it. If Venus trusted her fully, she would be much funner and easier to work with.

Yawning widely, Danni dismounted and rubbed Cupid down. Once he and Venus were placed safely in the stable, she started to walk away, but a soft nicker made her turn around. Cupid’s head, resting sadly on the stable’s wall, was beckoning her. “Cupid… Don’t use that face again.” His eyes seemed to grow bigger and shinier. He even tried to smile for some effect. Danni laughed quietly, as she didn’t want to wake anyone. Tonight would another peaceful sleep in the stables.

Cupid awoke abruptly to the sound of the bugle. Man, he would never get used to those things. Venus tugged on his mane. She looked pretty upset. He could figure why. She had just told him last week that she would have a foal soon. Cupid really wished he could tell Danni, but the newcoming foal wasn’t noticable yet, and Danni couldn’t understand horse. He wondered what the foal would look like.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Both he and Venus stood up. Danni had already left to take care of the chores. “I’m worried, Cupid. What will happen when the foal is born? I won’t be any use to the place. We might be seperated, never to see each other again.” Though he was worried too, he rubbed her belly tenderly. “Everything will be alright.” He finally responded.

Cupid scratched his head on the stable post, relieving the itch, when he saw the large doors of the Calvary gates open. He nickered curiously. Walking into the gates was another brown horse. Cupid could tell he was domesticated just by how calmly he walked in. Why are all the tame horses brown? He wondered. Never mind that. Who is he?

The horse’s blue eyes looked around wildly, taking in his new surrounding quickly. His dark brown forelock fell into his eyes. Cupid wondered where the stallion had gotten so many scars. Not from a cougar or wolf, that was for sure. Most were just singular scratches. The stallion was stopped in front of the Colonel, just as every horse had to, for inspection. “Give him to Murphy, then put in the stables.” The Colonel could also tell that this horse was domesticated.

Cupid watched as the horse’s dark mane was cut short. He was grateful Danni had prevented Murphy from cutting his and Venus’s manes. The heavy- set man seemed to have a soft spot for Danni, and he often listened to her. Cupid turned away as the stallion was branded. He wondered what he would look like if it wasn’t for Danni. Eventually, Murphy was finished with his work, and the light brown equine was transported to the long stable, where dozens of horses were eagerly awaiting him. They all asked him random questions at the same time, but when he didn’t answer, they walked back to their claimed spots and went back to their business.

Cupid chose that moment to go and meet the new guy. As he walked to him though, the new stallion took a step back and looked around fearfully. Using his eyes, Cupid tried to calm the frightened stallion, as he figured now wasn’t a good time to speak. Once down and not freaking out, the stallion slowly spoke. “Hola… Mi llamo es Alano.” Cupid was taken aback, as he wasn’t expecting the stallion’s choice of words. He snorted. “Quien eres tu?” Again, Cupid didn’t know how to respond. The stallion sighed and muttered to himself. “Por que siempre sucede?” The horse turned away.

Shaking his head in frustration, Cupid walked back to Venus. “I have no idea what he’s saying. It’s all… all… jibberish. But I’m pretty sure his name is Alano,” Cupid whispered. Venus peered over Cupid to look at the stallion. “Hmm, Alano, you say?” Cupid looked at her suspiciously, then nodded. “I’m going to try talking to him.” She said.

“What?!” Cupid exclaimed, more surprised than confused. Venus ignored him. Walking over to the stranger, she was surprised at how scared he looked. “Hey there.” She said quietly. Venus used her head to point at herself. “Venus.” She said, loud and clear. The stallion appeared to brighten up a bit. He did the same thing. “Alano.” Venus, proud with herself, beckoned Cupid to her. “Try it.” She said. Cupid did. “Cupid.” Alano nodded cheerfully. Venus could see how happy he was to be able to communicate.

Danni came up to the wall holding a dirty pitchfork. She wiped some sweat off her brow. “Hey guys. Who’s your friend?” She petted Alano’s muzzle. She noticed all the leaves hooked to his mane. Alano shook his head and looked back at Venus. Nodding her approval, Alano looked back at Danni, who eagerly began to pet him again. Venus wondered what was going on in this stallion’s head. Why is he so afraid of us? She thought.

Venus watched as Danni entered the stable, shutting the door behind her. Still unaccustomed to her, Venus snorted and stomped her hoof, but nothing else. It was progress. Danni put one arm around Alano’s neck and picked some of the leaves out of his mane. “How’d you get this mess?” Venus could tell he was confused, but yet he sort of half nodded and half shook his head.

“Danni! How many times do we have to tell you? Get back to work!” Venus almost jumped. She hated the loud men and their loud words. She hoped that the foal wouldn’t be frightened, too. Cupid nuzzled her, almost as if he could read her thoughts. Alano looked in her direction also. He wasn’t getting attention from Danni anymore, as she had gone back to cleaning out the soiled straw that lay everywhere.

As the sun climbed higher and higher into the sky, Venus could feel her mane sticking to her yellowish neck. Though fall, the heat of the sun still radiated into the sandy fort. She looked at the ball of light for a few seconds, but the burning sensation was too much for her eyes. She blinked out the white spots and shook her head. Is this all there is to do here? No wonder the others are so… lifeless.

Venus lay down in the straw as she tried to stay cool, but had to stand again because a Calvary man came by. He was holding a halter, and he looked frightened. Venus smiled. All the men here were afraid her. Well, except the Colonel. She bared her teeth at the soldier, who jumped back like a scared puppy. His hand shook as he tried to place the halter and rope to Alano. He never turned his back on Venus, even as he led Alano out to the corral.

Once the man was gone, Venus lied back down, all of her hooves resting under her body. She closed her eyes and listened to Alano’s hoof beats as they pounded softly on the sandy ground. Venus could tell the soldier was having a difficult time, as she knew that Alano wouldn’t understand any vocal commands. Maybe he’d get the stop and go commands by action. Soon, the irritated grunts ceased, and the ride went more peacefully. That was the last of the sounds she heard before lightly falling asleep.