Ch. 1
The sun rises in the orange sky, as I lay next to him. He wraps his arms around me as I scoot closer. Jay, my guy, lays next to me as we watch the sun rise, and the colors of the sky change as the stars slowly dissapear until tonight. He lays his head on mine and I snuggle under his chin. I love him. He loves me.
Last night, he took me to the top of a mountainand showed me the most amaizing thing I have ever seen. It seemed as if all the stars in the sky were falling down. Streaking through the sky. It was beautiful. As the night became cold, he kept me warm and held me so tight, no toher pack could ever pull me away from his grasp.
I was kidnapped when I was 8 months old, and he came out of nowhere and saved me. Only 6 months older than me, he fought off five other wolves and took me home. My father let him stay, and we were friends for a while. That was a year ago. It was only recently, we realized how much we loved each other.
He has told me many things on how much he loves me. But last night's has been on my mind. You have no idea how far I would go for you. Indeed I don't. I know we love each other, but I don't know how much. I wish I could somehow show him how much I love him.
We wake up and watch the sunrise then go down the mountain and to the Spring Lake to get a drink. The land is just waking up and a herd of deer stand a little bit away on the other side of the lake. Me and Jay laugh as the baby deer get up and run around their parents in the cool morning air. I lean down to get a drink, and find myself falling face first into the water.
I stick my head out of the water and glare at him. He laughs, so I glare. He keeps laughing so I glare more. Then I get out and when he's leaning over with laughter, I lean down and wisper in his ear, "You think that was funny? How 'bout this." I push him into the water. He never sees it coming.
He comes up, his fur in one of his eyes and he opens the other one and winks at me. "Come on in. It's fun."
I consider it. Then back up, run, jump, and land on him. We laugh and play around in the lake all morning. Then we lay out on the grass to dry. I fall asleep in the sun and wake up on his back walking home. I snuggle into his fur and he turns his head to smile at me.
On our way home, I was sure I saw something in the distance, I was sure someone was watchin us, and I was sure it was another wolf. But Jay didn't seem to notice, and I knew I was safe with him, so I forgot about it. We helped out in the caves for the rest of the day watching the pups.
I love to watch Jay with the pups. He tells them jokes and plays with them while the hunters are out hunting. He loves puppies, and would make a good father someday. But right now, he's happy playing with these pups, and teaching them his "awesome" hunting skills. Or so he calls them.
Before I go to sleep that night, Jay comes up to me. "So how was your day today?"
"It was ok," I answer. "But I had to hang out with the most obnoxious wolf all day."
"That sounds pretty bad," he says with a serious face.
"Yeah, and the worst part is I didn't even get anything to eat." I look at him with the most mournfull eyes I could make.
"Yeah well, it's a good thing I've got something right here." He pulls a deer up to me smiling and we share it before falling to sleep.
I forget about the 'wolf' or whatever it was out in the woods, until tomorrow afternoon when I'm walking through the tall grass on the hill to the east of the lake. As I get to the top of the hill, I see a figure walking into the distance. It was definately a wolf. It was slinking sneakily away toward the Dark Woods.
The Dark Woods. No one lives there anymore. Or so everyone thinks. I'm not so sure anymore. And if there were any wolves living there, they would be evil. The legend of Abyss. His pack is told to have moved on. I don't think so anymore. Or if he had moved on, he's back. But, I don't care. I don't like being watched.
It makes me nervouse to be walking out here alone with that wolf around so I head home. I get Jay's attention and take him to the lake. "I saw a wolf out here today."
"What? You mean not one of ours? Where did it come from?"
"I don't know. I saw it headed toward the Dark Woods though." I looked Jay in the eye. "He was big. He was totally black with red scars and scratches all over him. I'm nervous when i'm out there by myself now. I always feel like i'm being watched."
"You aren't going out there alone again until we find out who he is and why he's here," Jay says protectively, wrapping his arms around me.
"The thing is, he's bigger than Souran. That's what scares me the most," I say, expressing my fear of our leader Souran being concquered by a strange wolf. Especially if that wolf is always staring at me. It gives me a bad feeling.
"Even if he gets past Souran," says Jay always in tune to my thoughts (yeah he could read my thoughts) hugging me and holding me tight,"He won't be able to get past me. No one is going to touch you. I promise."
He walks me home watching every blade of grass and takes me to the top of the same mountain as before. It's our mountain. It's in our land. It's in plain view of our pack's caves. We're safe here. "It's going to be warm tonight, I can feel it. You can sleep, and I'll watch."
"All night?! You are going to stay up all night watching for a wolf that i'm begining to think I'm imagining?" I asked shocked.
"You seem really freaked out, so i'll watch you and him. Goodnight."
"But...."
"No. Go to sleep." He lays down and I lay down next to him. I sleep soundly knowing that nothing will get to me if Jay is by my side. He will always be there to protect me.
Ch. 2
I walk out to the lake 2 days later staying in plain view of the land. Jay saw nothing that night. There were no wierd sounds, no shadows, nothing. More and more I think I imagined what I saw. Maybe it's the heat. Yeah, that's it the heat.
I decide to go for a swim. I swim around in the water, and I suddenly feel like i'm being watched. I freeze and listen. I hear nothing. I don't hear anything, but my nervousness is getting worse. I know someone's near. So I run. I get out of the water and run. I run as fast as I can toward the caves. Then I hear it. I hear not one wolf, but many. I look back and there's the wolf.
Black as night and covered in scars, he's gaining ground on me. He is followed by many females and two more males. They are huge. All ranging from dark brown to black, these wolves are evil. The look in their eyes is of killing, hate, and in the males, lust. They are after me, and my pack. This is not good.
Seeing them run after me, I freak out. I run faster and faster. Then I see Jay. He is running toward me with Souran right behind him. I jump past Souran as he goes for their leader and Jay covers me as I run past. But before I get past him, he grabs my arm and kisses me.
He murmers, "I love you", then turns away. He goes after the other leading wolf. One other leader still free.
I call after him, "I love you too." Then I run inside, get the warriors and we break up into groups and attack.
It takes two of us to take down one of theirs, but there are more of us. In the fighting I lose Jay. I look around after taking down a wolf and I worry when I don't find him. Then, there he is. My heart skips a beat as I see him hit the ground and struggle to get up.
Everything goes quiet. I don't hear anything. No growling, no bashing, nothing. All I hear and see his Jay. I can actuall hear his labored breathing. I plow through the battle, attacking anyone in my way. He gets one arm up but is hit by a leaping wolf from the other pack and falls down again in pain. I make my way to him, for what seems like an eternity. I finally get there, only to see the wolf ready to finish him off. I leap. I crash into the wolf with everything I have and fight.
My anger swells. When we hit the ground, I am on top of him. He can't move. I just keep hitting him with the blows of my anger. I let my anger flow through me as I keep attacking. He manages to get up but I am still fighting. Blow after blow, he backs up. He blocks one, and that's enough for him to start attacking back.
We attack back and forth, my anger helping me slowly gain on him. He looses his footing and lands on his back as my claws slash his face. He gets up before I could get to him, blood all over his face. His pain is a new flame for his fight. He raises his paw and before I could move I feel a blow to my shoulder, then my head, then my face. He then kicks me in the stomach and I fly in the air and hit the cave behind me. Everything goes black.
I wake up to Drew. Drew is a friend of the family. A loner, Drew is a wolf who used to be my friend. I used to like him before he left. When he left, I met Jay, and my love went to him. Drew is a lighter color than when he was younger, a lot lighter than Jay, but I recognize him instantly.
"Drew," I breathed. I was still in pain but that didn't stop me from hugging him. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too. Now lay down. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I think so. My shoulder's just sore," I answer. Then the fight flashes through my mind. "Jay! Where is he? Is he okay?" I say getting up. I feel my heart sink as Drew avoids my eyes. "Drew. Where is he?" I wisper barely getting the words out as my throat gets tighter.
"They took him. Him and two females. On was found a little ways away from here. Dead. Jay..... we didn't find, or the other female. I'm sorry."
I sit down trying to process this information, the bump on my head and the groggyness of just waking up making my head a little slow. "I'm going after them. I'm going to find Jay."
Drew looks at me like I just said I was going to fly. "You can't! They will eat you alive! Litterally!!!"
I look Drew in the eyes. "Jay said he would go as far as it took to get to me. I'm going to go to him. I won't sit here and take him for a loss until I find him. (with some difficulty)->Dead or alive."
"But you can't! You just went through a fight Emethyst! And you're hurt!" he says.
"I'm a lot stronger than I was when I was younger," I say seriously.
Seeing that there's no stopping me,"Okay. But I go with you. I have learned how to take care of injuries, so if not for you, for Jay."
I can't argue with that, so I decide it's okay. We get ready to leave, many people trying to stop us, when there's a comotion at the front of the clearing in the middle of the caves. Me and Drew go out to see what's going on, and we see the other missing female.
I gasp. She's my sister. She is covered in blood and bruises. She can barely stand, but she keeps telling Souran "I need to tell Emethyst." Then she sees me. She looks me in the eye and says, "Abyss told me to tell you if you don't go to him, he's going to kill Jay." She then collapses and dies a few minutes later.
Everyone gasps around me. Abyss is supposed to be a myth. A black wolf who searches for the best females, killing all the males in the prides to get her. Souran was lucky, but Abyss knew that I loved Jay somehow. He struck home. Somehow he knew. And he killed my sister. Now my mind is definately made up.
I look at Drew. "We're leaving now." He doesn't argue. We leave.
Ch. 3
We found out from Souran, who found out from my sister, that the Abyss pride went to the abandoned building. The building is four days travel from our land, so we decide to take it at a faster pace, only cutting it down to three days. It wasn't easy.
We find a herd of deer in the middle of the day, and catch one. But as we're chasing after one earlier in the day, I trip and roll into him. We land with him on top of me. I lay there for a second catching my breath but when I realize how we were laying, I scramble up after Drew. Conversation is tence for a while, but he looks at me a while later as we travel and smiles.
"Sorry. I just can't help myself. You're just so beautiful."
I can't tell if he's kidding or not but I laugh anyway. He smiles and keeps going. He's a good friend. Not a boyfriend. He couldn't possibly like like me. Could he? I ponder this for a while but give up when we find the other herd of deer.
After going 'till after dark, we decide to stop for the night. It's a little chilly but otherwise a nice night. I sigh as I lay down and remember the other night that I was with Jay. It was hard to believe that we were just together a few days ago. The sentence You have no idea how far I would go for you runs through my head as I fall asleep with Drew watching a couple feet away.
I wake up in the morning with Drew curled around me. I get up and watch the sunrise. Drew was too close for comfort, but there was one part of me that didn't care. It scared me. I love Jay right? I was very confused. Then I notice Drew beside me.
"Beautiful sunrise isn't it?" he asks me. When I don't answer he says, "Sorry about last night if it made you uncomfortable. You were shivering uncontrolably. I was just trying to keep you warm."
"No, it's okay. I was just thinking. Thank you. That was nice. You weren't cold were you?" I ask.
"No I was fine. You ready to get going today?"
"Yeah. Let's go." As we start to walk, I rub my head under his chin. "Thank you. I woke up warm without Jay for the first time in a long time."
"Don't worry. We'll get to him in time. I promise."
We travel for a while before we get to a cliff. "There's no way around it and no way to get down there to go up the other side. The other side is the easy part. I see paths," I say doubtfully.
"We don't need a path to get down. I'm going to teach you something i've never taught anyone else. I'll let you teach Jay when you get the time..."
"If I get the chance," I say bitterly.
Drew looks at me worridly. "You will. Remember? I promised."
I look at Drew and muster a smile. "Okay. What do you have to teach me?"
Drew spends an hour teaching me how to fall/roll down a cliff, hill, whatever, without breaking a single bone. At first I didn't believe him, but I trusted him. He teaches me, then it was time to try it. I let him go first and I was amazed at how he rolls to his feet at the bottom unhurt. I freaked out when he looks up at me waiting for me to go.
"You know if I get hurt or die you are going to feel very guilty and I will kill you?"
"Sure," he answers.
"Okay. As long as you know that," I say. Then I take a deep breath, and take a leap of faith.
I roll down the cliff (about a 80 degree angle) and slide to the bottom. Not on my feet but I was just happy to be alive and unhurt. I jump up and jump into Drews arms. "I did it! I did it!"
Drew hugs me. "You did it. Great....... (taking a hesitant breath) I didn't tell you this, but it took me a week to get it right."
I glare at Drew. "Say what!?"
I knew you could pick it up fast. You are amazing. You always have been." We look each other in the eyes.
We both notice at the same time that we were still close together and pull back together. We climb the other side of the ravine in silence but at the top, the tension goes into the distance along with the cliff. "I'm never doing that again. No way."
"No, you don't have to. I'm sorry. I knew there was a chance that since it was your first time you could do a little tiny thing wrong and could've gotten hurt. I shouldn't have taken the chance."
I stop him in his tracks. "I'm not mad at you. I was just scared. I know there is no way you would have ever hurt me on purpose. Forget about it. It's over."
He drops the subject and we keep going throughout the day. We find a small pond in the middle of the day and go swimming for a few minutes to relax for a while. We go faster while we're wet to make the breeze cool us down. It was slightly warm out. We travel on time even with all our stops.
That night, the extreme heat gives way to extreme cold.
Ch. 4
When we stop for the night, I start shivering before I even fall asleep. Jay is laying a few feet away and looks at me concerned.
"You cold?"
I nodd and he comes over and curls around me putting his head over my shoulder. "Tell me if I get to close for comfort."
I smile at his thoughtfullness, and when I turn to him to say that it was okay, we lock eyes. The thought of I shouldn't goes away when his eyes dig deep into mine. We look each other in the eyes for a moment, then it happens. We kiss.
Barriers against him break down in my heart, and I close my eyes and let the world fade away. He was a friend way back when, but he has become more to me over the past few days. I forget about everything for a moment, but when it's over, guilt floods in.
Drew, always in tune with my feelings, sees the guilt flood into my eyes and stands up. "I'm sorry. It was my fault. I know I shouldn't have...."
I stand up and follow him. "No. I let you." Looking into his eyes,"I kissed you back."
"What about Jay?" he asks.
I lower my eyes. "I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. I love both of you. I just don't know who I love more." My eyes start to water. "I still love Jay, and am still going for him, but I don't know what to tell him when we finally get there."
Drew listens intently. "I can't do anything for you. This is all your decision. I will respect you which means I will do anything you say."
I start to shiver again. "And that would be sleeping around me. I'm freezing."
"As you wish madam," he says smiling at me, the conversation over.
He lays down and puts his head on my shoulder and puts his arm over me to keep me as warm as possible. After a while, I stop shivering and go to sleep, comfortable with Drew for the first time since he came back.
I wake up the next morning warm. I get up and look around. I'm alone. I see nothing around me. Then I hear running. I turn around to see a herd of deer running toward me. I crouch down and wait. A lone straggler closer to me than the others makes for an easy target. I leap and take it down. As I drag it away from the herd, Drew trots up to me out of breath.
"I'm glad you caught that. I'm out of energy, breath, and need food."
I move to make room for him, and before we start eating he says, "Good morning sunshine."
I smile and he kisses me. It's short and fast because he's nervous to get too comfortable with me. I smile and we both start eating. I push away the feeling of guilt that keeps butting into my confused head.
We start off earlier than we needed to and travel fast that day. My shoulder's cuts (from the war at home) start to sting and get stiff. Drew notices me limping (though I try to hide it) and insists on carrying me. I make him stop later in the day when it gets too warm and we stop at a small stream to get a drink and cool down.
"These temperature swings are starting to get on my nerves."
"Yeah, tell me 'bout it. First it's cold, then it's hot, it needs to make up it's mind," answers Drew.
I use this break time as a time to think. About Drew, Jay, everything. I am still as confused as when we stopped when we start up again.
We keep going and travel a long way when I feel him. I know Jay is here. My heart senses his. I don't know how, it just does. Then I know. It's his pain I feel. I start to get mad. Whoever hurt him is going to die. I walk toward the direction and sniff. After a few feet I smell it. The smell of metal. Then I smell Jay. Faint, but it's definately him.
"What is it?" asks Drew.
"He's here. Somewhere. I can feel him."
"Jay? How do you know?"
I look at Drew. "I just know."
I see his face go from happy to clouded. He thinks for a minute. "Alright. Where is he?"
I don't answer. I am too confused. I'm thinking of what i'm going to tell Jay. My love is equal for both of them. Or so I think. I turn around and head over a hill. There it is. Drew comes up the hill to stand beside me and he stops in his tracks. We both hit-the-dirt at the same time.
Ch. 5
Two black females guard the door. The windows are barred and the place looks deserted. Almost. I hear growling, but it comes from behind the building. The place is filled with bones and the smell of rotting animals. I look at Drew. He looks at me. We're both thinking the same thing. This is going to be tough.
We back down the hill. We make up a plan while we wait for dark. We decide we'll go to the side of the building where there are no wolves around. We'll find the easiest place to get in, climb through, find Jay, and we're out of here. The thing is, neither of us think it's going to be that easy. Things rarely ever go as planned.
We walk to the hill on the other side of the building when darkness starts to set in. We creep closer as it gets darker and to our misfortune, quieter. We wait for the perfect time to move in. Suddenly, a group of them go out of the building and leave grumbling about food. Obviously they're going hunting. Drew and I exchange looks. This is our chance.
As they talk to the others at the door, we sneak to the side of the building and wait holding our breaths. They are talking loud enough for us to figure out a way in. Time to test the windows or look for holes in the wall. We go opposite directions.
We go to windows feeling the sturdyness of the bars. I look over to Drew who is motioning me to come over. I slink over to him and he shows me a window with two bars missing. We work together to remove the other bars that are rotting. We finally get a hole between the bars big enough. We slip inside just in time. We hear the hunting party leave. We both let our breath out. Quietly.
We stand there quietly for a while looking around. We were in an empty hallway. It was dark, damp, and dangerous. We decide to split up. We think about how we'd get each other's attention if we find Jay, and decide it would be best to just find each other.
"Wait," Drew says when I start to go,"Wait. Emethyst, I love you. I love you and I want you to be happy. Choose who you love when this is over and I will respect your decision even if it breaks my heart. I will leave you or stay with you." He sighs and turns around to leave, but I stop him.
I can only look at Drew. I don't know what to say. Time is getting short, so I look him in the eyes and tell him the last nice sentence I will ever say to him. And what I don't know, is it's not even true. "You'll always be my friend no matter what happens."
I want to go, but I can't break his gaze. He pulls me close, kisses me, then turns around and slinks away. I make myself focus on the task at hand. I close my eyes and focus. My mind blocks everything else. I become Jays girlfriend again. I become the destroyer who is going to conquer Abyss. I become myself. When I open my eyes, I am no longer bound to anyone. I stalk off.
I look around a corner. I see cages. I see tons of bars and cages. I listen to my instincts. I close my eyes again. I focus my hearing. I hear..... breathing. Labored breathing. Hurtting breathing. Pain. My eyes open and I'm running down the line of empty cages looking in each one afraid of what i'll find. Then I get to one.
I can't breathe. He's there, laying on the floor, blood all over him. He has huge claw marks along his back, so deep it will definately leave scars. I see what I thought I would never see. Jay is weak. He coughs, pain spreading across his face. His face. I can't believe it. Blood all over it and two gashes across his eye. His eyes. I can hardly recognize him.
Ch. 6
I see all of this in seconds. I am no longer the conquerer. It all melts away when I see him. I am soon by his side and pull him up into my arms. Tears are running down my face at the sight of all of his pain. His suffering. He opens his eyes (what he can of the slashed one) and does what I can't believe. He smiles at me.
Through all of his pain, being able to still smile at me makes me start to sob. He smiles at me and says something that breaks my heart. "I knew you'd come. I knew you loved me more than he made it out to be. He kept telling me you didn't love me. He kept saying I sould just give up waiting. He told me you probably found someone else."
Guilt floods my heart but I push it away. It's better for him right now. I just hug him. I pull back and stroke his face. "I've missed you." That's all I can say. Then I hear footsteps. "Drew?" I ask. Hoping, praying, that it's him. I see Jay's confused face. I'll tell u later I mouthed.
"No," says an evil voice. "Tornado. I am Abyss's brother. Nice to see you here after waiting for so long."
I turn around, ready to beat the breath out of him. I feel my rage burning inside of me. I turn around to a wolf just like Abyss, but different. He had the bluest eyes I have ever seen. He had one scar, right on his cheek. I thought he was kinda cute. To bad for him I hated his guts. "Did you do this to him?"
He smiles at me. "I'm sorry. I did. I couldn't help myself. It's what I do. But you know, I could just let him go right now if you do whatever I tell you. Otherwise you'll have to go through a fight."
My disgust for him grew. "You can die for all I care," I spit at him. I have to try hard to keep from screeming it at him and drawing attention. "If Jay doesn't live, you will die."
"Temper temper. Calm down and listen to me and he will go."
"Never." I jump him. I win for a while, then he overpowers me and grabs me around the neck. He is too heavy to push off. I start to choke. I can't breath. I look over to Jay. I don't know how, but he's standing up.
I barely hear him say, "I just got her back. I am not loosing her again." His face is of pure hatred.
I look back to Tornado. He's so consumed with choking me, he doesn't notice Jay. He is taking joy in killing me. I look back, and Jay is walking toward us. There is no limp. There seems to be no pain. He is ready to kill Tornado. I am amazed.
"I will not loose her again," he says. He leaps and grabs Tornado, just as Tornado lets go of me to turn to Jay. Big mistake. I go without my throat ripped open in exchange for this. He lays on the ground choking, gasping for breath. His throat is ripped open.
All of these thoughts and things happen in seconds. My final thought before Jay leaps as I'm growing unconcious is that I will never get to tell him what happened and that I'm sorry. I didn't think Jay could win. When Jay leaps, I feel all of that wieght from my thoughts go away. I will be able to tell him. I will live.
"Before I die, I want to cause you more missery, knowing you won't be able to stop it," he chokes out. "My brother has Drew. Drew will ..... soon be.......dead. Either him.... or Jay. My brother.......won't settle for..........no." The last word comes out in a sigh. His head drops and he dies.
I turn to Jay. He is feeling his pain now. He collapses on the ground holding his side. I run to him and help him up. "We need to go. I don't believe Tornado but we still have to find Drew."
"Alright. Let's go." He gasps but clenches his teeth and walks beside me. "I don't know who he is, but if you care about him, I'll help."
"Thank you. He was a childhood friend. He helped me get here. He also taught me some stuff. I'll show you later."
"You have to understand there may not be a later."
Ch. 7
I stood there. That's all I did. I was shocked. "Wha... What do you mean?" I ask, my heart beating fast.
"I'm hurt Emethyst. I mean really hurt. I may not make it...."
I cut him off,"Don't talk like that. You'll make it."
"You don't know that. C'mon. Enough. We need to rescue Drew. I need to thank him for watching over you."
We start walking again, Jay with a lot of help. I start to realize that my big guy, my love, the one who has always protected me, may not make it. I don't know what to say. Then I stop.
"Why did you stop?" Jay asks sitting down to rest breathing hard.
"I feel Drew. I've been with him for three days now, I know when i'm near him."
"Let's go then."
"Wait. Let me go first. Stay here," I say walking around the corner to a hallway. I study the hallway, and see a door cracked open. I call back to Jay, but he doesn't answer. I panick. I run around the corner and he's not there. I smell another wolf. I run after the scent, and burst out a different door. I skid to a stop and I can't believe what I see.
Abyss is standing at the edge of a green canyon behind the building along with the other evil wolf. I don't know who he is, but he has Jay. Jay is laying on the ground coughing. I start to really worry about him. Then I look to my right. Abyss is holding Drew. Drew is covered in blood and claw marks. He is a totally different wolf. Just like Jay. He sees me and mouths to me I love you.
I glare at Abyss. "Let them go." I spit out the words in a growl. I feel my blood rushing through my veigns. I'm ready to kill anyone in my way. Abyss has the two closest to me in his grasp. If anything happens to them, I don't know what i'll do. The thought going through my head is i'd probably go berserk.
"Tell you what," he says in an evil voice. "You either give youself to me and they go free this very second. Or, you can say no, and we let them both go, and there's no way you can save both of them."
I start to growl deep in my throat. "I hate you."
"Is that a no?" he asks.
I tense up and walk forward. "I hate you."
"Fine then," he says irritated. "Choose." Then he lets them go.
"Noooooo!!" I come back to myself, realizing the real intesity of this problem. My problem. The problem I am freakin' out about.
I noticed before, that the land was slanted up to my right. Drew would hit first. So when I take off, and leap over the cliff, I head towards Drew. But in my heart, I cry. Jay sees me go toward Drew and I can see the sadness in his face but can do nothing about it. I can only hope I can make it in time.
I grab Drew, grab a branch, throw him on it, and leap off toward Jay. Then, I notice something. Jay is too hurt to spread out his body to slow the decent. He is curled up holding his side. He is falling faster than Drew was. My heart cracks as I "float" toward Jay, trying to get to him before he hits the ground. I'm almost to him, his back toward me so he doesn't see me trying to reach him, when I am hit.
My breath leaves my lungs as I hit the ground rolling. I lay on the ground, not able to process what has just happened. Then I scramble up. I can't feel my right front leg, but I run to where Jay lays. My heart breaks when I see him on the ground in pain, unable to breath without hurting.
"Jay. Jay stay with me. C'mon Jay." He turns his head toward me and I start sobbing at the sadness in his eyes. The hurt. I don't know what to say. He talks for me.
"You... you went for him," he chokes out. "You love him don't you. Tornado was right. You did find someone else."
I am shocked. "Jay, no! I love you. I would do anything to redo that. Jay, I thought I could make it. I don't know what happened. Jay...." my voice trails off as I see tears go down his face. He's crying.
"Emathyst, I loved you. You love Drew. I'm not going to make it, so what does it matter?" he says. I could almost see his broken heart. He's starting to fade.
"No! Jay no! Don't leave me!" His head collapses. Then I hear a voice.
"I told you there was no way to save them both." Then it hits me. Again. Tornado saw that I was going to save both of them, so he stopped me. It was his fault.
"It's your fault," I scream at him. "You killed him!!"
"I didn't kill him. You went after Drew first. I told you you had to choose."
I leap. I still can't feel my right front leg, I don't know what happened. I just know that he killed Jay. That's all I need. I pull my anger up from my heart and use it on Abyss. Rage and hatred against him make up for my lost leg. I keep attacking. Then he's on the ground in front of me, covered in blood and claw marks that will not soon heal. I see horror in his eyes.
Then I see why. I see my reflection in his scared eyes. My eyes have turned blood red. I would have scared myself if I wasn't so mad. That's it. It was the anger. I was so consumed in my anger, I became someone else. A killer. A savage. But right then, I didn't care.
"Okay, you win," he says out of breath.
"I'm not letting you go. You deserve to die." I stare down at Abyss, cowering in front of me. The only way I could have beat him is because of the heartache that fueled my anger.
He looks up at me. He knows he's done. He lays on the ground, not even attempting to get up. I tear open his throat with the last of my energy. Then I turn around to Jay and I start to cry again. Drew is by his side, holding him. He sees me and sets Jay down. Now I know he's gone.
Ch. 8
I run to them trying to get to Jay and Drew throws his arms around me. I bawl my eyes out. Drew rocks me back and forth shushing me and trying his best to comfort me. It doesn't work very well. I just keep crying. I keep trying to get to Jay, but Drew keeps me away.
Drew pushes me back and looks me over. "Are you okay?" he asks me. "Are you hurt?"
"Let me get to him!" I try to push through him to get to Jay.
"I need to check you out first. Are you okay?" he asks again.
"I can't feel my right arm but what does it matter," I say through sobs.
He feels my shoulder then puts one paw on my shoulder, and one on my arm. "When I count to three, i'm going to push it back into place. Ready? One, two,...three." He pushes and I hear a pop.
Pain shoots up my arm and I yell. Loud. I clench my teeth, and move my arm around. It still hurts, but I still get up and go to Jay. He's laying on the ground. Still. Never to move again. Tears come to my eyes again.
He can't be gone. He's not gone. He just can't be. I say to myself trying to will him alive. I lay my head on his side. No heartbeat. Nothing. That's when my head cicks in. It butts out my heart. He's gone, and it wasn't Abyss' fault. It was mine. It was all my fault.
New hot tears spring to my eyes as I turn around to Drew. "I can't stay here anymore. I can't go home either. I'm leaving. Go home and tell them I failed. Tell them he's dead so so am I. And it's all my fault." I turn around and head away. Anywhere but here.
"Wait, why are you leaving?" He runs up behind me. "No. It's not your fault. Abyss killed him. Not you."
"No. I killed him. He thinks I love you! He thinks that it doesn't matter to me that he's dead!" My sadness turns to bitter anger toward myself and Drew for not understanding. "He's gone because I went after you first. He's gone because I didn't save him. You might have survived that fall. He couldn't! He was already almost dead! If I had went after him first...... if he knew I loved him, he'd be alive now!"
"Emehyst, it's not your fault. Blaming yourself isn't going to bring him back. It's not going to make things better. Come home with me. The pain will go away."
"No it won't! You don't understand! I love him! Loved him echoes in my heart. I love you, but just as a very good friend. I don't want you hurt either. Just go away before I kill you too." My heart is gone. I don't care about Drew's hurt face. I just turn and walk away. It starts to rain.
Of course. Just like a movie. I'm sad so it rains. I walk through the darkness of thunder, and flashes of lightning. Then I collapse. I cry. My tears pour out. I sob in the rain, thunder and lightning all around me. When I have strength, I stand up and run. I run untill I can't run anymore. My tears have long been gone, but I still sob, and the pain of what used to be a heart makes me feel like i'm going to explode.
I open my mouth and howl. I howl with all the energy I have left. Behind me thunder cracks through the air. I collapse on the top of the mountain I have run up. I cry and call out his name. I call his name over and over again from the bottom of my heart. But he's gone. He will never answer. Never again.
That is my story. It was all my fault. He would be alive now if it wasn't for me. I will never forgive myself. Never. I now start to cry. The tears that will soon run dry. With pain that will never leave. With love that will never come again. I don't care anymore. I just don't care.