Road Rovers: Appearances

00:23, Secret Lab, Somewhere Underground

A red-suited woman with black hair placed a dog inside a testing chamber and closed the door. Turning to a control panel she tapped away at some keys, and a loud hum of energy came from the booth, accompanied by a hiss of gas and a pinkish glow. The dog yelped and scrambled to get out, but the woman ignored the sounds and checked an instrument panel. The energy levels weren’t high enough, so she reached for a lever and boosted the power. The dog grew more frantic as the strange radiation continued to bathe her body and saturate her brain. Finally, as the energy levels reached their peak, the dog let out a howl of unimaginable anguish as she felt her very nature being changed, corrupted. The woman shut off the power and looked at the figure seated above her.

"What are the readings?" asked the rough voice of her boss.

The woman clicked at her keyboard. "Running brain scan now," she said with a thick Scottish accent. She was silent for a moment, then declared, "It’s just as we hoped, General, and better. Brain activity is up in all areas. A few of them are even off the scale."

"And the programming?"

"Complete success," she answered with a smile as charming as any vampire's, minus the fangs.

"Excellent. Begin her training at once, Groomer."

"Yes, General."

Three Months Later, 16:53, Anytown USA

"Exile! Behind you!" shouted a retriever mix named Hunter. Unlike most dogs, Hunter stood on two legs and could talk. He was part of a superhero team called the Road Rovers, who were currently fighting off a group of cano-mutants. The cano-mutants looked a lot like the Road Rovers, except they were bigger, stronger, and had a lot more teeth. Why they had attacked in a place like this was anybody’s guess, but that wasn’t the Rovers’ job to figure out just now. Their job consisted of three words: kick some tail.

Exile, a Siberian husky, spun around and froze the cano-mutant behind him with a blast of freeze vision. "Thanks, Comrade!" he called.

Another cano-mutant lunged at Hunter, but the super-fast hero dodged behind it. "Not there," he called to the confused mutant. It whirled around and tried to punch him, but Hunter dodged again. Then he began to run in a circle as the cano-mutant spun, trying to keep up. Soon the thing was so dizzy it fell over unconscious.

"Nice work, Huntie," said a collie named Colleen. She kicked another cano-mutant, knocking it on top of the one Hunter had beaten.

"Thanks. You too," said Hunter, looking around. The entire street, somewhere in a downtown area, had been reduced more or less to rubble. Demolished fire hydrants spewed into the air, cars lay overturned, and buildings lay in heaps. Every mutant that had been there five minutes ago had either run or was on the ground, out cold. "Well, it looks like our work here is done."

"Help!" called a voice from under the remains of a decimated wall. A plaintive barking accompanied the cry. Shag, the sheepdog who was closest to the wall, started digging and was quickly joined by his fellow Rovers. Soon they uncovered a young woman and an Irish Setter. "Here," said Hunter, extending a hand, but the woman shrank away. "It’s okay, we’re your friends. We took care of the bad guys."

"Yah, they will run twice as fast the next time they find out we’re in the neighborhood," boasted Blitz, a Doberman with a German accent.

The woman wiped her glasses on her shirt and put them back on. "Oh!" she said. "Sorry, I couldn’t see too well and I thought you were more of those…" she held up her hands in a clawing gesture and spoke with an uneasy grimace. "… things."

"That’s alright," said Hunter, holding out a hand to help her up. She took it. Colleen lifted the dog out.

"I’m Felicia," the woman introduced herself. "Thanks for the save."

"Are you okie-dopey?" asked Exile.

"Huh?"

"That’s okie- dokie, Exile," Hunter corrected. I ought to get you a phrasebook or something for your birthday."

Shag said something in exasperated tones, and Hunter slapped his forehead. "Oh, right, that was supposed to be a surprise! Duh."

Felicia looked totally baffled. "I still don’t get what the husky said."

"His name’s Exile," Hunter explained. "He was…"

Blitz apparently couldn’t resist the urge to butt in any longer. "And I’m Blitz," he added. "I’m a purebred Doberman Pinscher, and I really like to-"

Exile yanked him back. "Don’t be weird boy," he grumbled.

Hunter resumed almost as if nothing had happened. "Anyway, Exile was just asking if you’re okay."

"Oh." She shook herself to check for anything loose. "Well, I don’t feel like I’ve broken anything."

Colleen examined the dog. "No damage here, either."

The woman nodded. "It must’ve been some kind of miracle. That steel beam fell just so that there was a sort of cave where we were."

Hunter nodded and looked around. "Well, it looks like our work is done now," he said.

"Oh, please don’t go," pleaded Felicia, grabbing him by the arm. "They’ll be back, I’m sure of it."

"Huh?" The Rovers looked at her in confusion.

"Oh dear. I suppose I’d better go back to when it all started." She took a deep breath. "You see, I have to move soon and I can’t bring Abby- that’s my dog- with me. I’ve been trying to get friends and family to take her in, but nobody has enough room. The animal shelter’s full, and the only place I can think of left is the pound, and I can’t bear the thought of leaving her there."

Hunter nodded sympathetically. He knew all about pounds.

"But what does that have to do with the cano-mutants?" asked Blitz.

"Well, a few days ago a woman came to my door asking about Abby. I remember she wore a red jumpsuit and had black hair. And she talked kind of funny, like she was from another country or something."

"Scottish?" ventured Colleen.

"Yeah, that’s it," Felicia confirmed, snapping her fingers.

Shag snarled at the woman’s description, startling Felicia.

"Sounds like Groomer," translated Blitz.

"Who?"

"Someone we know. Not a good egghead," explained Exile.

"Oh." Felicia wrinkled her forehead at Exile’s butchered expression. "No wonder Abby growled at her. Groomer said that if I didn’t hand over Abby there’d be trouble. And now those things show up, trying to take her away!"

The Rovers looked at each other. They knew that Groomer and her boss General Parvo often kidnapped dogs to turn into cano-mutants, but it wasn’t their style to make threats first.

"Hey, I have an idea!" said Felicia, brightening. "Abby could be one of you!"

"Huh?"

"You guys are just regular dogs most of the time, right? I read that in an interview some newspaper did with you. Couldn’t you make her a Road Rover? She’s really smart. Here, let me show you." She pulled a pocket calculator out of her purse and laid it on the ground in front of Abby. "Abby, on," she commanded.

Abby gingerly used her claws to hit the "On" button on the calculator.

"Eight times three," said Felicia. Abby pushed the buttons on the calculator, putting in the problem. The Road Rovers were impressed. None of them had ever met a dog- other than themselves- that knew how to use a calculator, and never in canine form. Felicia demonstrated several other things Abby could do, and in ten minutes the Rovers were thoroughly amazed.

"Maybe she could be one of us," said Colleen. "If she’s that smart now, think how smart she’d be as a Road Rover."

The others voiced their agreement. "It would solve the problem of where she could stay when Felicia moves, too," added Exile.

"Yah, I would be glad to have her around," added Blitz, earning him a collar-yank from Exile.

"We’ll ask the Master," Hunter finally decided. "You guys stay here in case there’s any more trouble. Colleen, we’ll take the cano-mutants back to the base so they can be turned back into dogs and returned to their homes."

"Roger, Huntie," said Colleen.

When they returned a little more than two hours later, Felicia was anxiously awaiting their answer. "What did he say?" she asked.

Hunter answered with a grin. "The Master says that Abby would be a welcome addition to the Road Rovers."

19:00, Road Rovers HQ

Abby was hesitant to go anywhere near the transdogmifier, but eventually they convinced her to get in. There was a hiss of gas, through which her silhouette could be seen changing shape. When she emerged, her face looked much as it had before, with long furry ears and some hair that fell over one eye, giving here a slightly coquettish look. From the neck down she looked like Colleen, and she was wearing a silver-blue outfit like the other Road Rovers. She raised her hand in front of her face, turning it back and forth. "Amazing!" she breathed. She looked down at her new humanoid form. "Absolutely amazing!"

"Welcome to Headquarters, Abby," said Hunter. "I’m Hunter, and these are-"

She cut him off. "Yes, I remember your names from when I was a dog." She suddenly seemed to catch herself. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt."

"That’s okay," said Hunter.

"Abby?" asked Felicia, looking a little stunned as she stared at the cano-sapien that had been her dog. "Is it really you?"

Abby nodded, and Felicia stepped up and hugged her. "Abby," she said. "I’m sorry I have to leave, but it’s the only way you’ll be-"

"Safe, I know," finished Abby.

Felicia stepped back and looked at the Road Rovers, then at the Master. "Please," she said. "Take good care of her."

"Don’t worry," said Abby. "I’m honored that they think I’m good enough to be a Road Rover, and I think I’m going to like this place." She looked at the Master. "Would it be possible for me to call her sometimes?"

The Master nodded. "That would be just fine," he said. "But I’m afraid it’s time to go now."

Felicia hugged Abby one more time. "Bye, Abby," she whispered.

As Felicia was led away, the Master turned back to the others. "Hunter, Colleen, would you show Abby around?"

"Gladly, sir," said Colleen. "Come on, Huntie." Hunter picked up a bag containing a few things Felicia had packed for Abby and followed the two girl dogs.

Colleen and Hunter gave Abby a full tour of the compound, finishing up with the room Abby would sleep in. "Well, I guess you want to get unpacked," said Hunter, "so we’ll see you later."

"Thanks, Huntie," said Abby, causing Colleen to stiffen. Hunter, not noticing, started to walk away.

"I’ll be along in a minute," Colleen called after him. Then she whispered to Abby, "His name’s Hunter. I’m the only one who calls him Huntie."

"Oh, I’m sorry," said Abby. "I didn’t realize."

Colleen suddenly wondered why she was so tense. What was the harm? "Oh, don’t worry," she said offhandedly. "It’s not that important. I just thought I’d mention it." And she walked away.

Abby went into her room smiling. She likes him, she thought. This could be useful.

The next day the Rovers received a distress call. A group of cano-mutants had attacked a government laboratory and were now getting away with a small nuclear device. "Let’s hit the Road, Rovers!" shouted Hunter.

"I’ll fly!" Abby called out as she hopped into the pilot’s seat of the Sky Rover.

"But you don’t know how!" protested Blitz.

"Neither do you," cracked Exile.

"Enough arguing, gents," said Colleen, pushing both of them into the back of the jet. Then she and Hunter headed for the Street Rover.

Despite her lack of training, Abby seemed to know instinctively what to do. She piloted the plane as if she’d been doing it all her life. "Woo-hoo!" she yelled at the top of her lungs as she did a barrel roll. "No wonder you didn’t want to give up your turn at this, Blitz!"

"How did you know it was my turn?" asked Blitz.

"Um, lucky guess?" Abby suggested rather weakly. "Uh-oh. There’s Hunter and Colleen." She pointed to the ground, where the two were trying to fend off about a dozen heavily armed cano-mutants. And they definitely weren’t winning. "Let’s go!" she said, landing the plane. They jumped out and headed for the action.

"Hey, losers!" yelled Abby. "Over here!"

"Are you crazy?" asked Blitz. "You’ll get them to shoot at us!"

The cano-mutants turned to look at them and, sure enough, started shooting their blasters. Abby ran between two of them and stopped long enough for them to fire before she jumped out of the way, causing them to blast each other instead. She somersaulted through the air, crashed down with both feet on one mutant’s head, then grabbed two more and smashed their heads together halfway through another flip. The other Rovers stared in amazement as the one-dog hurricane swept a path of destruction through Parvo’s minions. In about sixty seconds there were only two left. These two, it seemed, had been too busy trying to destroy Hunter and Colleen to see the fighting behind them. Abby slammed into Hunter’s attacker and sent it flying, then did a handspring and planted both feet in the last mutant’s chin. There was silence as she stood, smiling coolly at the fallen enemies.

"Thanks, Ab," said Colleen. She had been so busy fending off her attacker that she hadn’t seen the rest of Abby’s handiwork. "But I could’ve handled him…" she stopped as she realized that everyone was crowding around Abby.

"Whoa," said Hunter. "That was amazing."

"You sent the cano-mutants kaput-ski," said Exile.

"I’ve never seen even Colleen fight that well," added Blitz.

Colleen wasn’t bothered much by the comment. After all, Abby’s fighting was impressive, and anyway Colleen didn’t care much what Blitz thought of her. But when Hunter agreed with the sentiment, that bothered her.

On the way back, Abby took the Street Rover and convinced everyone that Colleen should come with her. "We girls need time to get acquainted," she said.

The others shrugged, and for some reason Colleen didn’t feel much like arguing. Besides, in spite of herself she wanted to know how Abby had taken down so many opponents so fast.

As they drove back to Headquarters, Colleen commented. "Those must have been some impressive techniques you used back there, Abby. Sorry I missed it. What kind of fighting style was it?"

Abby shrugged. "I don’t go for any established style. I just improvise."

"Well, you did a pretty good job of it."

"Yeah, Hunter sure seemed to think so." Abby suppressed a smile at Colleen’s silence, covering it up with a concerned look. "You like Hunter, don’t you?"

Colleen shifted uneasily. For some reason it didn't even occur to her to ask why Abby would bring that up. "Yeah, a little."

"As more than just friends?"

"Maybe," Colleen admitted.

"So now you think I’m a problem because you’re wondering if maybe he likes me instead of you."

Colleen hadn’t been consciously thinking this, but it more or less matched what was on her mind.

"Well I’m not your problem," Abby went on, "although I don’t mind telling you I’ve been watching him too. Your real problem is that you like Hunter, and seeing him say nice things about me makes you uncomfortable about yourself." Every word was like a blow to Colleen’s confidence, as if some invisible foe were throwing punch after punch at her. "Here’s what you need to do, Colleen. Go to Hunter and talk to him, plain and simple. Otherwise, I will. And then I really will be your problem."

Neither of them said anything for the rest of the ride.

Later back at the base, Colleen tried to work up the confidence to talk to Hunter. But her unease kept pushing her away, almost as strongly as a moving wall. The closer she got, the harder it was, like trying to connect two matching magnetic poles. Finally, just when she had resolved to do it no matter how nervous she felt, Abby sat down next to Hunter and started chatting casually. Discouraged, Colleen backed away. ‘Maybe he’s not interested in her,’ she thought hopefully. After all, Abby hardly seemed like Hunter’s type. But then, how was one supposed to guess what a man’s type was, anyway?

Abby waved her hand as if fanning away a bad smell. "Few, it’s getting kind of stuffy in here, isn’t it?" she commented. "Want to go outside and get some fresh air?" Hunter agreed, and the two headed out.

"Ooh, I think he likes her," said Blitz slyly, looking sideways at Colleen. He knew that Colleen liked Hunter. For that matter, just about everyone knew, except maybe Hunter himself. Much to Colleen’s frustration, however, their relationship was almost entirely business. The closest they had ever come to going out was when Colleen took Hunter for a walk on the beach once. The fact that Hunter was in his canine form at the time had left the conversation a little one-sided.

Colleen shrugged off Blitz’s teasing. This sort of thing had happened before. One time Hunter had been trying to track down a female dog none of the other Rovers knew, and Blitz and Exile had teased Colleen all day about Hunter having a girlfriend. But in the end, it turned out that Hunter had just been trying to find his mom. ‘There’s nothing to get excited about,’ Colleen told herself. ‘And even if he does like Abby, that’s their business.’ As she was thinking this, she happened to glance at the seats where Hunter and Abby had been sitting and noticed something under Abby’s. It was a bowl of dry ice! ‘No wonder it was stuffy,’ she thought. She had a pretty good idea where the dry ice had come from, and what its purpose was. Trying to look as if nothing was up, she strolled to the window to watch. Then, trying to act as if she were just idly walking around, she began to follow them.

Abby suggested that they stroll by the beach- coincidentally, the same one Colleen had taken Hunter for a walk on once. The lights of the base reflecting off the water were a spectacular sight. "It’s beautiful, isn’t it Hunter?" she asked softly.

Hunter shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. If I’d known we’d be coming here I’d have gone back to my dog form. This is a great spot for a run."

Abby forced a smile. ‘What a dimwit,’ she thought. ‘Or at least he acts like one.’ She glanced at the base out of the corner of her eye and noticed Colleen watching them from the window. "Well," she said, "I like you this way better." And she kissed Hunter on the cheek.

Hunter’s eyes widened and he pushed Abby away. "Whoa, whoa," he protested.

Abby looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Colleen’s back turned to the window. Even at this distance, the Collie radiated misery. "Sorry. I thought you’d like it," she said, sounding sincere. Stage one, complete, she thought.

Colleen turned away from the window and let out a groan. ‘I suppose that’s what I get for being too slow,’ she thought. She had seen the kiss, but she had looked away too quickly to see Hunter’s reaction.

"Colleen," called the Master’s voice from an over-head speaker. "May I have a word with you?"

Blimey, thought Colleen, What now?

"Colleen?"

"I’m coming, I’m coming," she muttered as she headed for the briefing room and wondered what the Master wanted. "You wanted to see me?" she asked as she walked through the door.

"Yes." He gestured to a chair in front of him. "Please, have a seat."

Colleen sat down and the Master looked at her without any expression on his face. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

Colleen was caught off guard. "What problem?" she asked.

The Master shrugged. "Well, I don’t want you to think I’ve been spying. I’m sure you realize I wouldn’t try to invade your personal matters, or any Rover’s. But as I was monitoring the security cameras I saw Hunter and Abby out on the beach. I also saw you looking in that direction and noticed that you looked upset. I wondered if there might be a connection."

"Why the interest?" she asked.

The Master folded his hands on the table in front of him. "Because if something is bothering any of the Road Rovers- you or anyone else- then it’s important to me too. And I want all of you to know that any time something is wrong, I’m ready to listen."

"What makes you think anything’s wrong?" asked Colleen.

"Well is there or isn’t there? If you’d rather not talk about it, I respect that. But it’s not very fitting for a dog to play cat-and-mouse."

Colleen almost smiled at the joke. "Well, I suppose I have been a little down in the dumps today," she admitted.

The Master nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Colleen shook her head. Without the cloud that seemed to have been filling her mind lately, it was easier to think. But thinking and talking are two different matters. "No I don’t, but I suppose if I don’t talk to someone I’ll never get anywhere."

The Master nodded again. "You’ve liked Hunter since you two first met, haven’t you?"

Colleen grimaced. "Is it that obvious?"

"I’m afraid so."

Colleen folded her arms. "Well that’s just dandy, isn’t it?"

"So are you feeling jealous of Abby?"

"A little, I suppose," she said reluctantly. "And I'm sure you heard how well she fought today."

The Master nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"Well, with that kind of talent on the team now, I’m starting to wonder why I bother. With Abby around I just feel like a bunch of bloomin’ deadweight."

"Now, Colleen, you shouldn’t think that way about yourself. Abby is very talented, but each of you is an important member of the team."

"I know, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should quit."

The Master shook his head. "No, I wouldn’t recommend that." He put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "But perhaps it wouldn’t hurt for you to take a break from the pressures of being a Road Rover, just for a while."

A few days ago Colleen would have laughed at such an idea. But now with Abby there to fill the gap, maybe a break wouldn’t be such a bad idea. "Maybe I should," she agreed. "Can I go now?"

"Yes you may."

The Rovers were caught off guard when they heard about Colleen’s departure. "She needed some time to think a few things over," explained the Master. "She’ll be back before long."

‘Not if I can help it,’ thought Abby. Out loud she said, "But she’s second-in-command. What will we do without her?"

"I’ll leave that decision up to Hunter," said the Master.

Hunter surveyed the Rovers. Definitely not Blitz, and Shag didn’t seem like a smart choice either. Abby seemed capable enough to make a good second, but ever since the incident the night before, Hunter had been wary of her. It wasn’t that he thought she was unattractive, but he wasn’t interested in someone that pushy, especially compared to someone like Colleen. And he had a vague hunch that there was a reason she’d been so quick to ask about the chain of command. "I pick Exile," he said at last. Exile smiled, and Abby frowned in a way that did not make Hunter feel one bit comfortable. But why worry? he thought. Colleen will be back in no time, and then everything will be back to normal.

But Colleen didn’t come back. She was gone all day, and the next. The following night, Hunter was awakened by a knock on his door. "Who is it?" he asked.

"It’s me," Abby’s voice replied. "I want to talk."

Hunter was cautious. "Talk about what?" he asked.

"Well, I think I know why Colleen left."

Hunter sat up. "You do?" he asked.

"I’m pretty sure," Abby answered vaguely.

"Well, what do you think it was?"

"It’s something I’d have to show you."

Hunter quickly changed into his uniform. "Hang on," he said. He was out in the hall in a minute. Abby was standing there, wearing something similar to the Rovers’ normal uniform except black from head to foot. "Nice outfit. New tailor?" Hunter queried.

"Just felt like a change," she said with a shrug. "Now let’s go." Hunter followed, ready to duck if she tried anything. But Abby didn’t do or say anything until they were outside. "I’m sorry… about what I did the other night," she said at last. Her words, every inch of her posture, even the air around her seemed tinged with sincerity. "It was out of line, bigtime."

Hunter shrugged. "That’s OK," he said. "Just don’t do it again, especially with mistletoe out of season."

"Don’t worry," she said smiling. Then, changing the subject, she noted, "We’re almost to the spot."

A few yards farther on she stopped and pointed off to the right. "Look over there," she said.

Hunter looked, and the next thing he knew he felt a heavy blow on top of his head. He saw stars, then nothing as he sank to the ground, out cold.

"All too easy." Abby counted off on her fingers. "Two down, four to go."

The next morning everyone was wondering where Hunter had gone. This time even the Master couldn’t offer an explanation. "Something scrambled the cameras," he said. "None of them picked up a thing all night." Exile took a look at them and said he couldn’t find any sign of tampering. Abby offered to help out, but finally admitted that this was beyond even her intellect.

"Exile, you’ll be in charge until we sort this out," the Master said. "Abby, you’ll be second-in-command."

Abby smiled, and it wasn’t a pleasant smile.

Later that morning, Blitz found the new teammate practicing on a punching bag in the training room. Her attacks were smooth and precise, but each was so fierce that the punching bag had left several dents in the ceiling opposite the Setter. Blitz pretended not to notice and strolled over to the weights, where he proceeded to bench-press at least twenty pounds more than usual. After a while Abby strolled over to inspect the weights. "Impressive," she commented.

Blitz tried to look relaxed, but his forehead was sweaty with effort. "What, these?" he asked. "These are just my warm-up weights."

Abby nodded, giving Blitz an indulgent smile. "So, what kind of stuff do you do besides coming in here to pump those titanium triceps?"

Blitz didn’t know what triceps were (for that matter, all he knew about titanium was that a lot of their weapons were made from it), but he decided to take it as a complement. "Oh, lots. I’m an expert at garbage sniffing, I make amazing peppermint milkshakes, and of course no one can touch my-"

"Ah, yes," said Abby with a giggle so low-pitched it was almost a chuckle. "I’ve heard all about that." She batted her eyes at him. "A big, strong dog like you ought to be the leader," she flattered. "Not a grouch like Exile."

Blitz set the weights back on the rack with a grunt and sat up, hitting his head on the bar in the process. "Yah," he said once he was done seeing stars. "Or a mutt like Hunter."

"I know," laughed Abby. Blitz liked her laugh, soft and low. Her eyes were attractive too; dark and mysterious. "What an airhead he is. Hey, I’ve got an idea," she added, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What if you find out what’s happened to Hunter? That would prove you deserve to be the leader."

Blitz brightened. "You think so?" he asked.

"Oh, absolutely," said Abby. "Maybe it would even get Colleen to notice you. Why don’t we get up tonight and search for clues?"

Blitz nodded. "Just the two of us?" he asked, not wanting anyone else to be in on the plan. Besides, if Colleen continued to ignore him, Abby might be just as good. Maybe better.

"Just the two of us," she assured him. Then, as if she were reading his mind, she added, "And maybe after that, we can swing by the kitchen for a couple of those delicious milkshakes you told me about."

The next morning Blitz was missing too. The camera glitch had struck again, leaving no evidence. Exile was all but out of his mind trying to figure it out. "First Colleen, then Hunter, and now the weird boy! They are dropping like ghosts! Vanishing like flies!" he burst out in consternation.

"Hey, I found this," said Abby, holding up a small recording device. She hit the play button.

"Greetings, Road Rovers," sneered an all-too-familiar voice. "This is General Parvo. I have your leader and the Doberman as well. If you want them back, come to the coordinates written on the side of this device at noon today. If you do not come, or if you try to trick me, we will see how strong your loyalties are once your friends have been re-conditioned in the cano-mutator. Oh, and a message to your newest member- Abby, I believe. I was impressed by your recent battle with my mutants. Perhaps if I’m pleased by your performance today I will release someone else unharmed as well."

"Abby!" came a panicked female voice over the recording. "Stay away! Parvo’s…" but before she could finish, the recording ended in static.

"Felicia!" Abby cried. She looked around at the others. "I’ve got to save her!"

Shag put a paw on her shoulder. "Ruh. Ruh row ruh ruh ruff."

"Shag is right. We will all go," said Exile. "It’s all for all, and one for one."

Exile had gotten the saying wrong as usual, but Abby understood the meaning. Looking around at the firm nods from the other Road Rovers, she smiled grimly. "I can’t thank you guys enough." Raising her fist into the air, she shouted, "Let’s hit the Road, Rovers!"

A howl went up from the pack.

"I’ll send for Colleen," said the Master. "She’ll come when she knows what’s at stake."

"No time!" snapped Abby. That meddling pest is the last thing I need, she thought. "Come on, guys!" And she raced for the Sky Rover.

"Um, you are forgetting about the coordinates, "Exile called, running after her with the device in his hand.

"I saw them!" she shouted. "Now come on!"

"What are the coordinates?" asked the Master. Exile read them. "I’ll give them to Colleen when she gets here. You’ll need all the backup you can get."

The Road Rovers piled into the Sky Rover, and even though Exile was currently the leader, Abby was in the pilot’s seat when the others got to the jet. "I’ve already set the course," she told them. As soon as all seatbelts were buckled she lifted off. "Watch out, Parvo," she snarled. "This time it’s personal!"

"Remind me never to get on her bad side," Exile whispered to Shag. "I am in no hurry to visit the veteran."

Meanwhile at her home in London, Colleen was taking a nap when a light fell upon her from nowhere. Colleen, you are needed, said the Master’s voice, although only Colleen could hear it.

Colleen put her paws over her ears. Had the Master forgotten that she was on break?

Colleen, you must hurry. The Rovers are in grave danger.

She scoffed. Even after three days, her jealousy had not ebbed in the least. They’re probably doing better without me, she thought. With a fighter like Abby, I’d just get in the way.

Colleen, said the Master urgently, you must come. Hunter has been captured.

Colleen sat bolt upright. WHAT?!

The canine quartet followed the coordinates to a small island somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. They saw Parvo’s plane surrounded by an army of cano-mutants in a large clearing and decided to land on the other side of the island. "Okay, here is plan," said Exile. "We try to capture from behind. First we free Hunter, Blitz, and Felicia. Then Hunter gets Felicia to safety as fast as possible while we hold off the cano-mutants. Once we regroup, we run."

Abby shook her head. "No way. I’m not leaving until I’ve made General Parvo pay for this."

Muzzle snarled his agreement, but Exile shook his head. "You talk like the weird boy. There are too many of them. This is no time for revenge. We can get rid of Parvo later. Right now all that matters is getting Hunter and Blitz back and getting Felicia to safety."

Abby nodded. "All right."

The group landed and set off through the undergrowth, but just as they came within sight of the clearing half a dozen cano-mutants ambushed them, capturing Exile, Shag, and Muzzle. "Abby, help!" Exile shouted.

Abby looked at them with a cruel smile. "Why would I want to do that?" she asked.

Exile struggled against the cano-mutants’ grip. "We are trying to save your owner!"

Abby laughed, cold and cruel as a blizzard. "You’ll know everything soon enough," she promised. Shag whimpered. "And stop acting like a baby, mop-boy!" she snapped. She led the cano-mutants into the clearing. "Here they are, General Parvo," she announced.

"Excellent work, Abby. You’ve done your job well."

Hunter and Blitz were wrapped in chains, hanging by their feet from a tree. Seeing the others captured, Hunter tried to grin. "Well, guess we can start the party now, everybody’s here."

"Go chase a tennis ball," spat Abby as Shag and Exile were chained and hung up next to Hunter and Blitz. Since Muzzle always wore a straightjacket and was strapped to a hand truck anyway, there was no need to chain him up, but they did.

"And now," said Abby, turning to General Parvo, "I have upheld my end of the bargain and brought you the Road Rovers. You will now uphold your end and allow me to eliminate them personally."

General Parvo nodded. "Gladly. Proceed."

"But Abby," protested Exile, "We were trying to save your master."

"I am her master," said General Parvo. "Felicia works for me, and so does Abby."

"Uh, can someone explain what is going on-ski?" asked Exile.

"That’s true," Hunter agreed. "Villains are always supposed to go on a gloating spree about their master plan before they wipe out the good guys."

"Oh, very well," grumbled General Parvo. "Several months ago, I decided it was pointless to go on trying to stop you Road Rovers by mere force. Even the loyalty of my cano-mutant soldiers couldn’t defeat you as a te…" Parvo trailed off, suddenly overcome by hacking and coughing spasms. "Lozenge!" he cried between gasps for breath.

Firing a small red cough drop out of a pistol-like device and into her boss’s mouth, Groomer took over. "We couldn’t stop you as a team, so we decided to break up the act. We realized that the transdogmafier increased a dog’s ordinary abilities to superhuman and supercanine levels…"

Parvo, having regained his composure, raised a hand to stop the Groomer. Clearing his throat, he resumed speaking. "So we developed a machine which could mentally enhance an ordinary dog to the point where, with a little help from your transdogmafier, it would possess psychic powers. And, as a little extra insurance, we programmed these canines with what you might call an attack dog mindset – total and absolute animosity toward everyone except us and those we might choose." He grinned, closing his fist so tight his whole arm shook. "Most of the dogs died in the early testing, but one survived and grew stronger. And that dog is…"

"Me," leered Abby. "It was child’s play to lure you into trusting me."

"So that’s how you wiped out all those cano-mutants!" Hunter accused.

"About time you caught on." Abby’s voice was laden with disdain like a donkey’s back overloaded with sacks of flour. "You’re almost as pathetic as your friend.”

Hunter was about to demand an apology when a sobbing voice cut him off. "Please let me go!" begged Blitz, showing his typical level of courage. "I’m not a Road Rover! This is just a costume! Really!"

Abby ignored him. Sweeping her gaze over the group she asked thoughtfully, "Now who should I finish first?" Her eyes got a sly look in them. "How about… Colleen?"

"Colleen?" asked everyone.

"You can come out from behind those trees now," called Abby coldly. "I know you’re there."

Colleen stepped from the forest. "Let them go," she ordered.

Abby laughed. "Why should I listen to you? You, who fell for my tricks so easily?" She turned and smiled venomously at Hunter. "Thanks for helping me get rid of her." The other Rovers looked at Hunter. "A little jealousy goes a long way," Abby went on. "All it took was some emotional tweaking, a peck on the cheek, and she thought you liked me instead of her."

"So that’s why you…!" Hunter started to say. Then he gave Colleen a confused look. Waaaiiit a minute…

"Of course that’s why I did it," scoffed Abby. "Did you really not figure out the connection?"

Maybe if I can trick her, thought Colleen, I can grab her and get the others free. She ran at Abby and tried to kick her feet out from under her, but Abby jumped the attack without so much as a glance, then grabbed Colleen by the leg and swung her around, sending her crashing into a tree.

thought Colleen, She ran at Abby and tried to kick her feet out from under her, but Abby jumped the attack without so much as a glance, then grabbed Colleen by the leg and swung her around, sending her crashing into a tree.

"Don’t bother," she said. "I told you, your mind is an open book. In your case, a nice thin paperback"

Colleen attacked time and time again, launching blows and screaming assorted battle cries. "Jadis! Bianca! Mata Hari!" but each time she was mercilessly flattened. I can’t do this, she thought. I can’t do it alone.

"You’re absolutely right," scoffed Abby, standing over her. "You can’t win. I could take all of you on and I’d still win."

Furious, Colleen jumped to her feet and tried to throw another punch. Abby caught it, flipped Colleen’s arm behind her, and delivered a vicious kick that sent her sprawling in the dust..

"Blitz," whispered Hunter. "See if you can cut Muzzle loose."

"Muzzle?" asked Blitz. "Why him?"

Hunter shrugged. "Well, nobody else can guess what he’ll do next. Maybe Abby won’t be able to either."

"You really think that will work?" asked Exile.

The retriever mix shrugged. "Nope, but it's worth a try."

Blitz nodded and set to work on Muzzle’s chains.

Meanwhile, the one-sided battle between the female Rovers continued. Abby’s strategy seemed flawless. Every move was calculated, every motion used, and every evasive attempt second-guessed. "Too bad about you and your boyfriend," taunted Abby.

"He’s not my boyfriend," Colleen shot back.

"Colleen! Over here!"

Both of them looked to see Muzzle down from the three, bouncing his handcart impatiently. "Of course I might just kiss him anyway when this is all over," Colleen added.

"No!" Abby tried to stop her, but for once Colleen managed to evade the attack. She ran toward the others with Abby close on her heels. "Stop them!" ordered the Setter. "Get the Rottweiler!"

Hunter grinned. "Hey Exile, feel like a trip to the Ice Capades?"

Exile responded by freezing the ground under the cano-mutants’ feet. Abby was still trying to stop Colleen’s progress, but then she too found herself helplessly slipping and sliding until another blast stopped her cold. Literally.

Colleen vaulted over a mutant in her way and hurriedly undid Muzzle’s straps. "Alright, boy, Muzzle ‘em!"

Whichever mutants had witnessed battles in the past ran for their lives. Those who hadn’t quickly found out why.

When the dust settled from Muzzle’s rampage, any cano-mutants that had not escaped were in serious need of a vet. Parvo and Groomer had escaped, and by all appearances Abby had broken free her icy prison and done likewise.

On the way back to headquarters, the other Rovers asked for the full story from Hunter and Blitz. Hunter gave a straightforward account of how Abby had lured him out to the beach and then decked him. Blitz told a story that was at least ninety percent hot air about playing along with Abby’s scheme so he could catch her off guard and then getting ambushed by a bunch of cano-mutants. The truth was Abby had gotten him in pretty much the same way she got Hunter: lured him outside the compound and then knocked him out with a blow to the head.

"You know, it makes sense Abby picked you, Blitz," commented Exile. "You were biggest threat to her."

"Yah, that’s what I’ve been saying," bragged the Doberman. "It took her a dozen cano-mutants just to tie me up."

"Bolshoi. You were threat because with you she had nothing to read."

Colleen shook her head as the two continued arguing. "Are you sure those two aren’t still puppies?" she asked Hunter. "They seem to have missed a memo or two about maturity."

Hunter grinned, remembering a previous case where Colleen had brought up maturity. "You mean like the cat-chasing incident?"

Colleen grimaced. "Never mind."

Hunter shrugged, then seemed to remember something. "Hey, what did Abby mean about you being jealous anyway?" he asked with piqued interest.

"Oh, uh, nothing," Colleen stammered. It wasn’t true, but she just wasn’t ready to explain yet. Someday I’ll tell him, she thought. At this rate, maybe in a decade or two.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

(note to dissidents: this quote is multi-cultural and meets all criteria for acceptability on Balto Source)