Memories of Mother

(started 5/5/07 -) 

Summary: Balto and Jenna self-reflect on their memories of their maternal guardians: Balto with Anyu (Aniu) and Jenna with Tasha.

Rating: G. Nothing bad here, just lots of memories of doggie moms. 

Disclaimer: Balto, Balto: Wolf Quest, and all other characters and situations are the property of Universal Studios Inc.; all other names, characters and situations are the property of Juuchan17, the author, and are based on previous works of fanfiction – they should not be used by anyone else without permission from the author first, thank you.

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Author’s Note:

This is a couple of one-shot fics in honor of Mother’s Day. All of the events spoken of are fictional, but are based on stories that I have either written, working on writing, or are planning to write in the near future.

These stories are actually based on information from my unfinished Balto prequel fic, “Forbidden Bond: Prologue to a Legend.” 

Balto’s mother’s name is spelled as “Anyu” before she becomes the Great Spirit that we see in the first two Balto films. Balto’s husky father, Tulugaq (Inuit for “Raven”) is mentioned but not so important here – note this is a Mother’s Day story; you’ll learn more about him in the prequel fic whenever I get back to completing it. Also, Balto has two other sisters from his litter: Nukka (“younger sister”) and Sura (“new life”), and they get a bit of time in his memories too.

Jenna’s parents are named Tundra and Tasha, if you wanted to know – both of them are sledding dogs in Nome . . . but you’ll read her story soon enough. Not much is known about Jenna’s other siblings, but maybe you’ll hear a bit about them later on. 

Anyway, enjoy the fics and Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mothers (and Mothers-to-be) out there!

- Juuchan17 

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White as Snow, My Safe Haven 

I don’t remember much about my birth. My memories of the wild are quite fuzzy, but I faintly reminisce about the feelings that welcomed me into the world.

I couldn’t see anything, but I remember that I was feeling cold and wet . . . and I was loudly whimpering and crying out for someone to keep me warm. 

Then I felt her presence.

I smelt her warm breath against my body, breathing out from her mouth and tongue on my fur. She was licking me up and down my tiny form, cleaning the birth fluid and blood from my newly-born body until my coat was dry. I felt at peace, relaxed, completely safe from harm’s way.  

I couldn’t hear the gentle soothing in her voice, but I could hear thoughts in my head; I felt that she was guiding me with telepathy, leading me to her warm belly where her teats were swollen with mother’s milk. I blindly wriggled my way towards her, following her scent and the sound that she murmured to me inside my mind.

“Come on . . . come on, my little one . . .” 

As I arrived to by destination, I instinctively began to suckle on my mother’s breast, drinking in the warm flowing liquid that her body had prepared for my siblings and I. At that moment, I never would have thought that I was the result of a forbidden affair of true love; I thought I was truly at home with someone who loved and cared for me.

At that moment, I wished things would stay that way forever. 

Ever since then, I had admired my mother. She was the first sight my yellow and red eyes ever saw. Just the sight of her grace and majesty made me gaze upon her in awe. Her long-furred coat was pure white, just like a sheet of freshly-fallen snow. Her eyes, pierced in the shape of thin almonds, were bright yellow – a typical characteristic of all lupines. Most of all, I never forgot her voice – always calm and affectionate to my sisters and I. Her nighttime lullabies always made me fall asleep without worry or fear, since I knew she would always be there to protect my tiny, growing self.

Although she was wolf and my father was an ordinary husky, I saw no real difference between all of us. I didn’t learn about my father’s breed until I was old enough to understand any better, but it still didn’t matter so much – he looked more like a wolf to me. I physically took after my father, but my rugged markings, brown-gray and tan colors, and red and yellow eyes made me more different than all of them. My sisters, Nukka and Sura, both looked more lupine and more like our parents – Nukka was a carbon copy of my mother, while Sura was a wolf version of our black and white sire – but although I obviously resembled no one that I saw around me as a pup, Mother still continued to love us all just the same, just as any proud mother would. We were all born from her womb, not realizing that our own existence was taboo in the world of the wolves. 

Only months later would we learn of the eternal curse that our birth destined us to endure . . . one night, our perfect and carefree world was about to break apart, returning once again into the realm of reality.

I barely can remember that night, but I do remember that it was the last night that I spoke to my mother before my life changed . . . I was only half a year old, and I had no idea that I would learn everything. 

We were inside of our dry cave, sheltering ourselves from the falling rain outdoors. My sisters were sleeping soundly by my father’s side, while I remained with Mother. She and I were laying beside each other my the cavern’s entrance, silently looking out upon the rain like a window into the dark, cruel world; if only we had known it was to become our future . . .

I felt her long, white tail flickering against my shoulder, nearly tickling my nose. I giggled softly, blowing it away from my face; still chuckling, I buried my nose into mother’s neck, allowing her luscious scent to engulf the fresh rainy air that entered into my nostrils. She smelt like the purest flakes of snow mixed with the natural perfume of our wilderness home. I exhaled comfortably as I looked up at her elegantly-shaped head staring out at the untamed forest and mountains that we had called our homeland. I noticed a slight gaze of worry in her lowered eyes . . . wait, I saw a trickling tear curve down her cheek too. Her look of sadness worried me. 

“Mama,” I asked her in a quiet whimper. “Why are you looking sad?”

She paused for a moment, giving me a look of surprise. I returned the gaze with large eyes – I really was wondering what could possibly be troubling the beautiful white she-wolf. 

“Is something wrong, Mama?” I asked again.

“It’s nothing, my son,” she finally replied after a sniffling pause. Mother rarely called me by my birth name – she only called me by ‘my son,’ only emphasizing the fact that I was her only son. Maybe that’s why she always liked it when I was by her side. “You must get some rest now. It is late and you must dream tonight, my son. The spirits have many things to show you.” 

“What do you mean, Mama?” I queried. I always wondered why she always spoke of spirits and such things that my young mind couldn’t understand. She hardly ever spoke to us about it, but I had a feeling I would learn soon enough.

“The spirits of nature are quite talkative tonight, my son.” She gave me a gentle smile then looked back out into the world outside. “Can’t you hear them calling you?” Her voice made me shutter nervously, but a sudden flash of lightning followed by a roar of thunder made my sisters and I gasp loudly in fear.  

“I think I heard it,” I murmured under my breath jokingly as I placed my paws over my ears, afraid of the loud noise outside. I leaned up against the white fur of my dam, shuttering.

My father groaned as he joined the rest of us, but he remained calm, just like my dam was. Sura, Nukka and I all huddled against Mother’s warm body and underneath her large tail, hoping to hide from the crackling noises of nature outside our door. 

“Mama, I’m scared!” I heard my older sister, Sura, cry out. “I’m afraid of that noise and those flashing beams!”

“Me too! Me too, Mama!” Nukka shook her body in a shuttering fit. “What’s going on out there that’s so scary?” 

All Mother did was look at our father. His brown eyes lowered as he nodded his dark head – I suppose their little gestures to each other were an ominous sign of what was coming next.

“Mama, is it the spirits?” I asked, thinking that I had understood Mother’s words that she told me only moments before. “The spirits are making all that noise and flashing stuff out there, right?” 

She nodded, much to the envy of my sisters. “That’s right, my son. The spirits are only trying to communicate with us.”

My father moved closer to Mother, nuzzling her and whispering something inaudible into her dark velvet ears. She only responded with a nod and also murmured words into his ear. While they talked, my sisters, jealous of my closeness with Mother, began to play-fight with me, batting me with their paws. As soon as Mother and Father ceased their conversation, another flash and rumble outside in the rain silenced us automatically. Once we were calmed down by our parents’ touch, Father began to speak.

“Children, we have something important to tell you about,” he started his speech. Our attention was completely fixed on the black and white dog, listening on to what our parents were about to reveal to us. “Your mother thought that now was the best time to tell you. After all, you’re growing up quickly and six months old; it’s time you learned the truth about who we really are and why we are always away from the other wolves.” He took a deep breath as he paused, preparing for the major truth. “We – I mean, your mother and I – were in love and we made you three out of our love. The only problem was that . . . I wasn’t born a wolf.”

We all gasped in shock. When I was growing up, I had thought my father was a rebellious male wolf, mainly because his fur was wild-looking like my own. I never would have thought he was anything else. 

“So, what are you then, Papa?” Nukka asked. “If you’re not a wolf like us, what else could you be?”

Mother took over after this. “Allow me to continue, dear,” She received a nod from Father, then she continued to speak the truth. “What your father is trying to tell you is that he was not always in the wild like he is now.” She sighed quickly. “He was born and raised in a human town not far from here . . . Your father is a husky, not a wolf like me.” 

“But why does he look like us wolves?” Sura interrupted. “Does this mean that all huskies look like wolves then?”

“Well, some huskies do have wolfish qualities about them because we are all closely related to each other. All dogs, no matter how odd they look, somehow descended from wolves.” Mother answered her question. “However, unlike your father, most huskies and many other tame dogs just aren’t meant for our world.” I noticed my father show a forlorn expression.  

“At first, I thought I was meant to be a champion sled dog, but I never would have realized what wonder and adventure lay out here in the wild.” The black and white patriarch spoke softly. “I have your mother to thank for showing me how amazing life could be. She saved me from certain death a year ago in a terrible blizzard, and after getting to know each other, we . . .” Father paused, lowering his ears and muzzle towards the ground. “We accepted each other’s budding affections and soon became one.” They nuzzled each other affectionately. “I chose to leave that life behind me in order to stay with your mother as she gave birth and raised you three. That was all that mattered to me then, and it still continues to matter now.”

Mama and Papa really do love each other . . . even though they’re both different. I thought. I don’t see why this is so important right now . . .Little did I know, the news was just going to get worse and worse. 

Mother continued to tell us about our father’s world. “Huskies and wolves may look alike, but both types of dogs are taught this one main rule: A binding union between tame and wild is forbidden; if this rule is to be broken, their children shall be forever cursed to a life of hardships and discrimination – never to be truly happy.” I saw another tear slip down Mother’s eyes again as my father licked her tears with his tongue. “Although I had learned this as a young pup, I still fell for your father. He needed me and I needed him . . .” She sobbed almost uncontrollably, placing her head between her forelegs. “I knew that our union was a taboo and he knew it too, but this is the way things are supposed to be – it’s our family’s fate.”

Shock went through my body as their words encircled my thoughts. 

Taboo? Dogs and Wolves can’t be together . . . in love? I couldn’t understand this at all. Why would we be learning about this now and not earlier? As much as I didn’t want to learn more about the truth, I realized that it had to be done.

“So,” I began to quietly ask my mother; each word I muttered made me quiver in fear of what our parents just told us. “Are you saying that something’s wrong with us because you two fell in love and broke this taboo?” 

“No . . .” Mother sniffled, nuzzling me and my sisters. “No, nothing’s wrong with any of us.” Her face glowed with pride. “The three of you are going to lead normal lives as wolves, just like I did at your age.” I breathed a sigh of relief when she said that. I hoped that I would still live a normal life – that’s all I really wanted.

“It may not be so simple – you know that very well, dear,” The black and white dog turned his words to his ivory-colored mate. Then, Father spoke a sentence to us that scared us to death. “Although you may look like wolves, you will still have my husky blood flowing within you. Each of you is a hybrid – half husky, half wolf.”  

Nukka, Sura and I gasped. Just hearing the truth made us fear for our lives. We are wolves . . . but not wolves at all. What were we then?

“That can’t be true!” Sura cried, tears also pouring from her face. Nukka and I were by our sibling’s side, either sobbing with her or drying tears from each other’s faces. “Tell me it’s a lie, Mother!” 

“I’m afraid it is all true, Sura,” Mother sadly nodded, accepting her fault in allowing her mate to tell them that truth. “But each of you should take note of this: In your young lives, you will all deal with other creatures – dogs, lupines, maybe other animals that you have never met before – that may tease, bully or even exile you for being born as half-breeds. Just remember that you should never allow them to judge you by your breeding and looks alone; you are meant for much better things in this life than persecution by others. Show them who you really are by proving to the world that you are more than just a hybrid – deep inside your heart lies your true self.”

Mother’s words touched me at that moment. Her spiritual wisdom and soothing tone calmed my angry, young soul; I felt as if she was mainly speaking about me, especially since she always was there to protect me from something I couldn’t see. I was so dependent on her that perhaps these powerful words were just her way of telling me that it was time to move on. 

“Your mother’s right, children,” Father sighed. “Life is never easy, and now that you know the truth, it’s just the beginning of a difficult obstacle that you have to conquer on your own.” He turned to me and patted my head with one of his white paws. “Especially for you, son.”

I wondered what my father meant by that, but I would understand his words sooner than I thought I had hoped. Before I could ask him why, a flash of lightning lit up the clearing outside, where two shadowy creatures were creeping up to our cave on a hill. I heard a gasp escape from my mother’s mouth, almost as if she knew what evil was approaching our humble home of love. 

“Children, we have to go now,” Mother whispered to us. She looked at Father, slightly nodding her head with a straight expression on her face. “Quickly! We are not safe here.” I felt her nudging my behind with her nose, which she did the same for my sisters, hurrying us to the small exit in the far back of the cavern. Father guarded the rear of our group, making sure that we and our mother escaped safely.

After dodging the crumbling rocks and pebbles that lined the rear of the cave, my sisters and I touched the cool grass of the valley behind our home. Mother hushed us as she continued to gather us to someplace safe from this unknown harm that was coming for us. Once we arrived at a tall bush, she acted as a shield, covering us with her tail and body. 

“Mama, what are we –” I asked softly to her, but she quickly placed her paw over my mouth.

“Shh!” Mother told us. “Hush now, children. It’s not safe yet.” 

“Where’s Father? Why did he leave us?” Sura whispered into Mother’s ear. I could hear her loud and clear, but I was wondering about the same thing. Where was he? Why would he leave Mother and us alone?

“Your father will return to us soon, don’t worry,” She reassured us with her words, but her face again worried me. She wasn’t smiling anymore; her mouth was straight and slightly frowned, matching with her lowered eyes of concern. From the way she showed herself, it seemed as if she knew something bad was going to happen to Father. 

Over the next few minutes, I laid in wait with my mother and sisters, waiting for Mother’s prediction to come to pass. Through my nose, I could recognize Father’s scent . . . and two other wolves – their stench was quite musty and strongly smelt of blood and revenge. Mother continued to hide us from the outside, hoping that soon her beloved would return and not these two strangers that I had smelt. After ten minutes of suppression, I could smell his presence and recognized his walking gait. He was limping once he came into view; one of his hind legs was drenched in dried blood and mud, mixing from his fierce battle with the intruding lupines and the moist ground around us. Before any of us pups could ask him what happened to him, Mother and Father did something that I could never forget. I could only hear them whispering a little, but it scared me to the bone.

“Tulu, we can’t risk the children’s lives anymore out here,” Mother told my father quietly. “We have to separate them in order to save them from those two wolves . . . and from what will happen to us.” Her voice was calm yet mournful – I could tell she had a feeling of what would take place within the next few moments. 

“Do we have to, Anyu?” Father’s eyes were filled with tears, open widely in shock. “Please, there must be another way to end this!”

“Oh, I wish there was another way, darling,” The white she-wolf nuzzled the black and white husky for the last time. “But we will be together again very soon. Our children – the result of our everlasting love – must be our first priority.”  

Father’s ears lowered and he let out a sigh, understanding that destiny had to take its course for his small family. “If this is the way the spirits say, so be it.” He closed his eyes and thought of what he was about to do. “I’ll take our son somewhere safe, I promise.”

“And I’ll give our daughters to my brother, Kamik,” Mother shed a thin tear as she closed her eyes also, enjoying what was to be their final show of affection in front of us. “He knows what the situation is, so I’m positive that they will be safe with my birth Clan.” 

“I love you, Anyu,” Father began to pull away from her slowly.

“Oh, Tulu, I will always cherish our love forever,” Mother did the same, until at last my parents were apart. “Return to me safely.” She ordered him in a soft tone. 

He did not answer back with his voice; he only nodded once, knowing that the sooner he left, the sooner he would be reunited with his love.

After separating from each other, Mother grabbed Sura by the fur on her neck and motioned Nukka to come to her side, while my limping sire approached me and grabbed me by my neck fur. 

After nodding to each other, I watched as my mother leaped away with the black and white child in her mouth and her smaller clone-like daughter running by her side. I could hear the small voices of my sisters as they moved farther and farther from Father and I.

“Mama? Mama, where are we going?” That was Nukka. She was looking up at Mother while she walked beside her. 

“Yeah, where are Papa and Brother going to, Mama?” Sura, still in the grips of my mother’s jaws, asked.

“Somewhere safe, my love,” I recognized the warmth of Mother’s voice. “They’re going somewhere safe too.” 

I wanted to cry out a farewell and tell Mother that I loved her, but Father, with waterfalls of salty tears down his cheeks, turned me away from her fleeing figure and began to run the opposite way, although he was limping a little bit.

I couldn’t hear Mother and my sisters’ voices anymore as Father took me away from our home. I was crying too. I was crying out for her, just like my father was. 

Mother . . . Mama!

MAMA . . .! 

I knew that Mother couldn’t hear me; she and my sisters were too far away, and my thoughts just couldn’t slip through my throat so that they could hear. I somehow ended up crying myself to a sorrowful sleep only minutes later.

I never saw my mother alive again. I never even got to say good-bye to her . . . or said that I loved her and appreciated how she raised me. 

The next thing I remembered was being laid out by a wooden building, waking up only moments before dawn. Nothing around me looked recognizable to me, but just like when I was only a few moments old, I heard a voice in my head . . . a familiar, warm voice that was howling to me. Somehow, I knew that she was okay now, free from the sadness that I had seen in her eyes hours earlier, but where she was, I did not know.

I smiled slightly and went back to sleep, not knowing what twists and turns my young life would lead me to. However, no matter what happened to me, I would always wish that I could see her again and tell her one thing . . . 

Thank you for loving me, Mother . . . and good-bye for now . . . .

(5/9/2007 – finished)