MAXIMUM WARP: A BALTO, STARFOX, STAR TREK CROSS.
PLANET CORNELIA: ORBIT
[Explosion]
CPT. KALTAG: Damage report!
HELM: Shields at 85% sir!
CPT. KALTAG: Grrrrr, spin her around, lock phasers and FIRE!
TACTICAL: Sir!
[His ship, the Starship Altimus, quickly spins around]
CPT. KALTAG: HOLY CRAP!
[A massive armada of Klingon cruisers]
CPT. KALTAG: Oh…………PERFECT!
[A series of laser blasts rip through the Klingon fleet]
CPT. KALTAG: Huh?
FOX [over radio]: Looks like you need a hand.
CPT. KALTAG: Fox McCloud, you old rat!
[Fox laughs]
CPT. KALTAG: Load the photon torpedoes and fry those lizards!
[Two missiles fly off and blow up the lead ship]
KLINGON LEADER: FALL BACK, RETREAT!
2nd OFFICER: Sir, the Klingons have gone into a full retreat!
CPT. KALTAG: Yes! Hey, Fox thanks for the help my man.
FOX: Not at all, not at all.
CPT. KALTAG: So, any plans?
FOX: Well, there’s something we need to talk about.
CPT. KALTAG: Understood.
PLANET CORNELIA: SURFACE
CPT. KALTAG: So, my friend. What can do ya for?
FOX: It’s my team.
CPT. KALTAG: Yeah, what about them?
FOX: They sort of….. kinda………..
CPT. KALTAG: Left you ta rot?
FOX: Yup. Falco, Slippy, Peppy, Krystal, all of ‘em.
CPT, KALTAG: WHO?
FOX: Krystal, she’s new.
CPT. KALTAG: Ah, so…………… You have a girlfriend. [Takes a drink of water]
FOX: Actually, yes
[Kaltag does a spit take]
CPT. KALTAG: [Coughs] OK THAT I didn’t expect!
FOX: I need help to find them.
CPT. KALTAG: Well, kid looks like you’ve got yourself a search party.
FOX: Thanks, man.
THE SEARCH:
[The Great Fox and the Altimus cruise by]
FOX: Activate warp gate.
R.O.B: Affirmative.
[Fox’s ship flies into the gate]
CPT. KALTAG: All right, let’s roll!
CREW: SIR!
KALTAG: Plot a course, maximum warp!
TECH: To Sauria, sir?
KALTAG: As Captain Picard used to say…………..Make it so.
[The starship rockets through space]
SAURIA: SURFACE
[A young, blue vixen pushes through the dense foliage]
KRYSTAL: It’s got to be here somewhere.
[Finds a staff projecting out of the ground.]
KRYSTAL: Yes!
[Looks into the sky, sees a reflection of Fox in a cloud]
KRYSTAL: Oh, Fox. Why did I leave you?
[A series of flashbacks of the good times the team had, but mostly her times with Fox.]
[Krystal sighs romantically]
STARSHIP ALTIMUS
KALTAG: Anything?
RADAR DUDE: Yes, sir. We’ve found Krystal.
KALTAG: Jackpot!
GREAT FOX: BRIDGE
KALTAG OVER RADIO: Great Fox, this is Altimus, over.
[Fox picks up radio]
FOX: Altimus, this is Great Fox, over
KALTAG: We’ve found Krystal on Sauria.
FOX [thinking]: Oh, thank God! [Talking] We will arrive shortly.
KALTAG: Roger, Wilco, over.
ALTIMUS: BRIDGE
STUPID CREW GUY: Who’s Roger and Wilco?
KALTAG: [Raises eyebrow]
SAURIA: ORBIT
KALTAG: We’re planning to send down a landing party.
FOX: Could you send down one more?
KALTAG: [smug grin] I think we could make arrangements.
SAURIA: SURFACE
[A series of shuttlecraft land near the valley]
[Kaltag walks out holding a Type 3 phaser]
KALTAG: Beta Squad, check the valley if you find her, report here ASAP.
BETA LEADER: Sir!
[The squad scans the valley, they hear a loud racket, and they follow the noise, revealing Krystal being held captive by a group of alien cyborgs]
BETA 3: [whispers] Borg.
THE SURPRISE RESCUE:
KALTAG: BORG?!?
BETA 3: Yes sir, we found them by the river.
KALTAG: All right, lock and load people!
FOX: What’s wrong?
KALTAG: It’s Krystal, she’s got company. Borg.
FOX: Oh no.
KALTAG: We’re loadin’ up to head down there.
FOX: Wait! I’ve got a better plan.
[Fox, Kaltag, and the others gather in a football style huddle]
[Five minutes later]
KALTAG: Right.
FOX: OK, 1, 2, 3
ALL: BREAK!
[Down in the valley, two Borg stand in front of Krystal, Fox walks up]
BORG #1: Halt!
FOX: I’d like to see your captive, I am unarmed.
BORG #2: All right, but make it fast!
[Fox walks forward, Krystal looks up]
KRYSTAL: Fox?!
FOX: Yeah, it’s me. Krystal, I need to tell you something.
KRYSTAL: [Looks up with romantic eyes] Yes?
FOX: I……..I
KRYSTAL: [Puts her hand on Fox’s mouth] No need, I know what you’re going to say. And I say the same to you.
KALTAG: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Hundreds of troops appear over the side of the valley and open fire with their type 3 phasers.]
KALTAG: Fox, Krystal catch! [Throws two blasters]
[Both grab the blasters]
KALTAG: OK, Fox give ‘em NO MERCY!!
FOX: ALL RIGHT!
KALTAG: Falcon Squadron, get us off this rock!
FALCON LEADER: Sir!
[Three shuttlecraft pick up Kaltag and his troops, Fox jumps in his Arwing, Krystal is taken up by a fourth shuttlecraft.]
KALTAG: Hey, Fox you doin OK?
FOX: Yeah, I’m good.
KALTAG: Roger.
RECEIVING END:
GREAT FOX: BRIDGE
FOX: [Thinking] Thank God she’s safe
KRYSTAL: You too.
FOX: Huh?
KRYSTAL: Nothing.
[Radio static]
[Fox picks up the radio]
KALTAG: Hey, Fox?
FOX: Yeah?
KALTAG: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, WE’VE GOT COMPANY!!!
FOX: What kind?
KALTAG: Like an armada of Borg Cubes heading straight for us!
FOX: Oh, not good.
HELM: Captain!
KALTAG: Yo.
HELM: Another target has appeared!
KALTAG: Position?
HELM: From the POV of the Great Fox, .00.
KALTAG: [whispers] Right above them.
[Kaltag looks at the ship, and picks up the radio]
KALTAG: F-F-F-FO-FFO-FOX?
FOX: Yeah.
KALTAG: Looks like a scaly friend of yours decided to make a social call!
FOX: Who, Leon?
KALTAG: Bigger, nastier, and a WHOLE lot angrier!
FOX: Scales.
KALTAG: Better believe it.
SCALES: KRYSTAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
KALTAG: Oh, Shismaref.
[Scales’ ship fires four cables that wrap around the Great Fox]
KALTAG: Okay, NOW I’M TICKED!!
KRYSTAL: Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxx!
FOX: KRYSTAL!
KALTAG: OPEN FIRE!!
[The Altimus fires on Scales’ galleon]
SCALES: RETURN FIRE!!!!!
[Fireballs and phaser blasts fly in-between the two ships]
FOX: Whoa. Never seen Kaltag like this.
KRYSTAL: Ever?
FOX: Nope, never.
KALTAG: STATUS!!
HELM: Our shields are at 75% and dropping fast!
KALTAG: Fox, we’re losing shields fast!
FOX: Copy, ROB get the cannons in range!
R.O.B: Affirmative.
[The Great Fox turns around and fires on the galleon]
[The galleon explodes]
SCALES: CURSE YOU FOX MCCLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KALTAG: YEAH THAT TAUGHT HIM!!
FOX: YES!!
[Krystal, to Fox’s surprise ends up in his arms and muzzle to muzzle]
BOTH: Mmmmmmmmmmmm…………..
R.O.B: [Fox and Krystal kissing in the background] No comment.
WOUNDED BIRD:
ALTIMUS: CAPTIAN’S QUARTERS
[Fox and Kaltag are talking]
KALTAG: Well, Fox-o looks like you’ll be kept busy for a while
[Fox nods]
[Knock, Knock]
OFFICER: Sir, we’re approaching Cordius III.
KALTAG: Very good.
CORDIUS III: ORBIT
FALCO: I got you now you little rat!
LEON: Heh, I don’t think so!!
[Leon spins his Wolfen around pointing at Falco’s Arwing]
LEON: EAT THIS!!!!!!!
[Leon charges his Nova, only to be on the receiving end of Fox’s Nova]
FALCO: What the……………
FOX: This makes the 4th time I’ve saved you feathery carcass, Lombardi!
FALCO: Fox?! What are you doin’ here?!
FOX: Savin’ your butt what does it look like I’m doin’!
FALCO: WHEN I GET OVER THERE!
KALTAG: All right, BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!
KRYSTAL: Falco, get off his back!
FALCO: OK, OK Jeez!
KALTAG: Smooth……………….
KRYSTAL: [Giggles] such a flatterer!
THE TOAD, HIS GIRL, AND A BIG BOOM!
AQUATIUS: SURFACE
SLIPPY: Wow, you’re amazing
[His girlfriend giggles]
FOX: Psssst! Slip, over here!
SLIPPY: FOX?! That you?
FOX: No, it’s the Easter Bunny. OF COURSE IT’S ME YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SLIPPY: What are you doing here?
FOX: [Scoffs] getting you out of here!
SLIPPY: No, I’m not leaving.
FOX: Slip, the team needs you! All of us!
SLIPPY: [Starts bawling] Fox, you’re right, what am I doing?
FOX: That’s the spirit, Slip-o! Now let’s scram before……………….
[An armada of Borg Cubes and 680 Borg Spheres]
FOX: ………………Exactly that happens!
SLIPPY: We gotta leave now!
FOX: Thank you Mister Point-Out-The-Obvious!
SLIPPY: No probs fool.
FOX: WHAT did she fill your head with, man?!?
[Fox and Slippy jump into the waiting shuttlecraft]
FOX: Kaltag, get us out of here!
KALTAG: All right, HI-HO SILVER!!
[The shuttlecraft cruises through space]
KALTAG: Hey, check that.
[A Borg scout ship flies by]
FOX: Wait a minute.
[Looks in the scout ship’s window, he sees Krystal inside surrounded by Borg.
FOX: Krystal. Kaltag, try to hook this ship underneath that scout.
KALTAG: On it.
[Kaltag pulls the craft underneath and locks into the Borg vehicle]
KALTAG: Secured.
FOX: OK, I’m goin’ up.
KALTAG: Aye, aye Skipper.
FOX: Whatever. [Climbs up and blows a hole in the Borg craft]
BORG #3: What?
FOX: Hello, gents. I believe you left your lights on. Here, let me KNOCK ‘EM OUT FOR YA!!!
[Fox nails the Borg in the face, he shoots the three others.]
KRYSTAL: Fox, how did you know?
FOX: I guess my mind’s eye told me. Come on; let’s get off this creaking tub!
[Both land in the shuttle]
KALTAG: Checking in?
FOX: Nope, checkin’ out.
KALATAG: Right!
[The shuttle flies toward the Great Fox]
KRYSTAL: [Pulls Fox into a long kiss] My Hero.
“EMPTY YOUR GUNS!”
[The shuttle arrives]
KALTAG: Ding, ding 3rd floor, mercs, guns, avain psychos.
FALCO: HEY!!!!!
KALTAG: Just kiddin'
FOX: Come on, Krys [no response] Krys? KRYSTAL! Kaltag, they took Krystal!
KALTAG: What, AGAIN!
FOX: Yeah!
KALTAG: [Growls] Dang Borg.
ALTIMUS: BRIDGE
HELM: Captain on the bridge!
KALTAG: Battle Stations!
CREW: SIR!
KALTAG: Where are they?
OFFICER: Sir, they disappeared.
KALTAG: How?!
OFFICER: They activated their warp drives and escaped.
KALTAG: Follow them!
[The Great Fox explodes]
KALTAG: Well Fox, your ship is toast, again.
OFFICER: Engaging warp drive at full power!
FOX: Hang on boys!
[The Altimus rockets off]
TECH: Sir, we’ve found the Borg.
KALTAG: This is it, empty your guns! There's no turnin' back. Falco, tell the crew to go to battle stations!
FALCO: On it!
[The bridge's lights turn red as an alarm begins blaring]
[Fox looks like he’s on the verge of an emotional breakdown]
KALTAG: Don’t worry, Fox we’ll get her back.
[Def Leppard: Foolin’]
Lady Luck never smiles
So lend your love to me awhile
Do with me what you will
Break the spell, take your fill
On and on we rode the storm
The flame has died and the fire gone
Oh, this empty bed is a night alone
I realized that long ago
KALTAG: OPEN FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Phasers fly between the Altimus and the Borg Cube, a series of explosions]
Is anybody out there? Anybody there?
Does anybody wonder, anybody care?
FOX: Launch all fighters, go, go, go!!!!!
Oh, I just gotta know
If you’re really there, if you really care
Cause baby I’m not
F-F-F-Foolin’ ah, F-F-F-Foolin’
F-F-F-Foolin’ah, F-F-F-Foolin’
Won’t you stay with me awhile?
FOX [thinking]: Hang on, Krys. Help’s on the way.
KRYSTAL: I believe in you, Fox. I love you.
FOX: [thinking] I know.
Close your eyes, don’t run and hide
Easy love is no easy ride
Just waking up from what we had
Could stop good love from goin’ bad
[Fox, Falco, and Slippy shoot down a large amount of Borg]
KRYSTAL: Fox, in here!!!!!
FOX: COME ON!! [Crashes through the door]
KRYSTAL: Fox
FOX: That’s my name, don’t wear it out.
FALCO: LET’S GO!!!
SLIPPY: COME ON!
HELM: Sir, we can't take much more of this!
KALTAG: Then we go down fighting!
[A Borg sphere is destroyed]
PEPPY: Hello, General Peppy Hare at your service.
[The foursome gets in the fighters and barely avoids an explosion]
FOX: Kaltag, she’s off the ship, SCRAP ‘EM!!!!!!!!!
KALTAG: WAY ahead of ya! Transfer all power to the phasers and give ‘em everything we’ve got!!!!!!!!!!
CREW: Aye, Captain!
Anybody out there? Anybody there?
Does anybody wonder, anybody care?
Oh, I just wanna know
If you’re really there and you really care
F-F-F-Foolin’ ah, F-F-F-Foolin’
F-F-F-Foolin’ ah, F-F-F-Foolin’
Oh, I just wanna know
If you’re really there and you really care
F-F-F-Foolin’ ah, F-F-F-Foolin’
No F-F-F-Foolin’, ah F-F-F-Foolin’
I’m not foolin myself
I’m not foolin myself
I’m not foolin myself
I’m not foolin myself
KRYSTAL: Fox, I want to thank you for saving my life, twice.
FOX: Not a problmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….
[Krystal and Fox kiss longer than before, and it’s more like a French kiss]
KRYSTAL: That was a thank you.
FOX:[Looks dizzy] Lucky me.
[They kiss again]
THE END!!!!!!!!!!