Balto was walking down the street one morning..................... when a truck almost hit him "AHHH WHAATTTT TTHHEEEE HEEEELLLL WWASS THAATT ALLL ABOOOUT!!!!!!???" Balto screamed using alot of maltipul letters.
"For Gods sake Balto stop that!" Jenna said walking over. "Hey Balto did you know that God spelled backwords is Dog?"
"No." Balto replied bluntly.
"Your stupid." "HEY NOOOOO I'M NOOOOT!!" Balto screamed. "Hahahahahah your stupid hahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Jenna said.
Then a fanfare zoomed over to Balto and started playing a song. "Oooh poor Balto, he is stupid, unintellagent, unintelagent!" "OH SHUT UP!!!" Balto yelled.
Balto suddenly began to choke. "C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crap!!!!" Balto gasped.
Boris came over as Balto was dragged back onto the boat by the Fanfare persons. "Is Balto OKs?" "You dumb goose, its "is Balto ok is" Balto said.
"Actaully none of you are right." Jenna said. "WHAT?!?!?" Balto and Boris gasped.
"So you both are S-T-U-P-I-D!" Jenna said holding up six fingers. "I didn't know Dogs' had fingers." Boris said.
"Actaully they don't cuz it's undog-ish. I really had to put on aposable fingers." Jenna explained all in one breath.
"Boris did you know that God spelled backwards is Dog???" Jenna asked using two question marks.
"Hey guys? Aren't question marks weird?????? I like to use alot of them when I ask quesions??"
"Jenna, that wasn't a question." "I know that, did I ever tell you how stupid you were????" "Jenna stop using maltiple question marks!" Balto snapped.
"Oi you is losing me." Boris said. "You are losing me you idiot!" Jenna said.
"Oi okay... you idiots are confusing me." Balto snarled. "Oh Jenna, did I mention that I have been meeting Silvie after Dance Class?" "OMG WTH!!???" Jenna screamed at the top of her voice.
Balto wished he hadn't said anything until-- "You take Ballet!!! Ballet is for GIRLS! OMG soooo stupid!!" Jenna screamed histarically.
"How ironic," Balto said. "I thought she would be upset by the fact that I'm going out with Silvie, oh well main characters do that."
Jenna was shouting about "IDIOTS THAT CALL THEMSELVES BOYS!!!" and Boris was muttering something.
Suddenly there were pawsteps and Muk and Luk appeared. "Balto Walto!" Muk said nearly wetting himself with excitment. "I heard you talking about Dance Class!"
"Yes!" Balto said. "Would you like to join?" Muk and Luk exchanged glances. "Yes," then Muk looked very serious. "on one condition.... you let us wear pink in every class!" Balto suddenly looked horrified. Pink TooToos were very rare and hard to find... wait thats the same thing!
Pink TooToos were rare and very expensive, and,plus, if he didn't give Muk and Luk what they had wanted all thier lives he was going to have to give up his precious Studio!
"Okay, I mean, sure you can join. And if you want anything just ask!" Balto said a golden light seemed to surround him. "Okay Balto we want you to be our slave." Muk said. Balto's jaw dropped all the way to the ground.
"N-n-n-n-n-n-no way!! Plus you didn't ask." Balto said as though he thought that would solve the problem. He was, of course, wrong.
"Okay Balto can you please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please--" Balto lost the thread of the conversation by turning away to Jenna who had now settled down and was drinking a cup of coffee.
"And coffee is such a weird word isn't it?" Jenna was saying. "It is such a freaking-- what are you looking at?" Jenna asked, Balto mearily shrugged.
"please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please," Boris had a nervous tick in his eyebrow. "please, please, please--" "SHUT UP! And fine I'll be your slave!" Balto roared. "please, please, pleas, please, please--" "SHUT UP!" Boris screamed.
The next day Balto woke up and remembered that he needed to go shopping, like a girl, for pink, girly, stuff.
"Crap!" Balto muttered. He got up and was about to walk out side when he smacked his head on the top of the door frame. "OOWW!" Balto turned to leave when his tail knocked over a case of thumbtacks.
Balto let out a howl of pain and was about to pull the tacks out of his paws when suddenly he smashed into the chest of droars.
He fell onto the ground right under neath the chest. "Crap!" but then the chests' shadow fell upon him. "Huh? AAH NO NO NONONONON CRAAAAAP!!!!!" BANG! CRASH!!
Balto's head was covered in bandages. He knew he looked very unatractive-ish and he was very embarresed. So embaressed that he was wearing a football helmet.
Balto walked over to the Worlds Biggest Mall Ever, come in and see our massive Escalator, shop. Balto entered and went over to the escalator, Balto climbed on and watched as he rode higher and higher. Soon the only thing he could see when he looked down were pinpricks. And he grew so afriad that he asked the man next to him to hold his paw.
It was 7:36 when he reached the top. He got off and looked at the Ice cream he was holding. On the way up he had passed some people selling food on the outside of the escalator and he had bought himself a triple scoop ice cream cone. The four flavors were; chocolate, peanut butter, caramel, and vanilla. He had also got to watch a horror movie called. The Grudge. He had liked it but he had been so scared that he had tryed to run down the escalator, that he now dubbed "the horrorlator", and he had nearly knocked a baby out of its carridge.
Balto got off the Horrorlator and made his way towards the Dance section. He was just about to enter when a man grabbed him. "Sorry Mr. Person Whom I Don't Know The Name Of but the dance section is closed." "Aww man!" "Don't worry Mr. Person Whom I Don't Know The Name Of it will be open all day tomorrow!"
Balto glared at him. "Next time," he said as he began to walk away. "consider building a stairway! Or an Elevator!"
That night Jenna heard someone in the bathroom goofing off.
So natrally she decided to check it out. She opened the door to the bathroom and her ribs nearly cracked with laughter. Balto was dancing in fron't off the mirror. Then he began to sing I'm Too Sexy. Jenna tapped her paw.
Balto wheeled around, he was playing disco music. "Hey Jen, wanna sing with me?" he asked. "Sure why not???" so he and Jenna began to sing.
Balto: I'm too sexy for my love to sexy for my love, love's going to leave me
Jenna: I'm too sexy for my fur too sexy for my fur so sexy it hurts.
Balto: And I'm too sexy for Millan too sexy for Millan, New York and Japan.
Jenna: And I'm too sexy for your party no way I'm disco dancing.... I'm a model you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the cat walk yeah on the cat walk
Balto: Yeah on the cat walk yeah I do my little turn on the cat walk.
Jenna: I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by far and I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat what do you think about that????
Balto: I'm a model you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah, I shake my little touche on the catwalk.
Balto shook his butt along with Jenna.
Jenna: I'm too sexy for my... too sexy for my.. too sexy for my... 'coz
Balto: I'm a model you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk
Jenna: Yeah on the catwalk--
"Oi! I'm trying to sleep!" Boris bellowed. "Yeah well-- Sorr-ee!" Balto screamed.
The next day, Balto was walking through town again. He sighed but then he stopped as he heard a voice. "Balto!!!!" Balto supressed a sigh with dificulty and said. "Yes what is it now Muk?"
Muk came over. "Is Danceclass today?" he asked.
"No it's tommorow." "Oh okay. I look forward to it." "Well that's good." Balto said.
Muk turned. "Wait Muk! I got your Tootoos!" "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"
Balto covered his ears. "Not so loud!" Balto gasped. "OH SORRY!" Muk said making no effort to control his voice level.
"Jeeeez Muk will you shut up?!?!?!?!?!!?!?" Balto asked. "YES I WILL I'M SORRY!!!" Muk said and he walked away.
Then as Muk walked away there was a disturbance. Steele came crashing through a brickwall. "Ah what the heck?" Balto exclaimed forgetting that there was supposed to be an Exclamation point.
Steele looked horrified. "W-what;s wrong?" Balto asked hoping he didn't sound too scared.
"MOMMMY!!" Steele sobbed and screamed at the same time. "WTH?!" Balto said. (note : wth stands for 'what the hell')
"I want my mommy!" Steele sobbed. Balto blinked. 'Excuse me?' would have been the first thing he wanted to say. "Why?" Balto asked bluntly.
"Niki, Kaltag and Star teased me and kicked me out and Kaltag made Niki the leader, and they teased my mommy!"
Balto wanted to remind him of what he, Steele, had done to him, Balto. But. But for some reason he didn't have it in him to say it.
"Here Steele I'll lead you to your mother, where is she?" "Bloody fool! My mother is dead!!!!!!!!!!" Steele roared. Balto jumped.
Jenna came over. "What's wrong?????" she asked using too many question marks, as usual.
"Jenna Steele wants his--" "MOMMY!!"
"Oh poor Steele!" Jenna said walking over to him. Balto glared at her. "Oh you know what I mean, I felt like that after my mother died too."
Then she leaned over and whispered. "What do we do????????????????????"
Balto scowled, mostly because of the freaking question marks the other reason was because he was helping his life long enemy, he sighed. "I have an idea." he whispered.
Jenna nodded. "C'mon Steele." she said softly.
Steele sniffed and whimpered and followed them, Boris and Muk and Luk simply stared at them having watched the whole scene from afar.
"Oi Balto wait for us!" Boris said.
So it was that Balto, Borsi, Muk, Jenna, Steele and Luk made thier way into the woods, none of them really knew what Balto's plan was however....
Balto stopped at the edge of a cliff and gulped. Then he called over hsi shoulder to the rest. "Steele come here!"
Steele padded over. "Balto...?" Boris said suspiciously. "Shhh..." Balto said Steele reached him and Balto said. "Steele I need to ask you something." "What is it?"
"How did your mother die?" "I don't know! She went out with a sled time and never came back." Steele told him. "Why do you ask?"
"Because last night, I saw a black and white Malamute lying down somewhere and I know that she was your mother because of what you just told me and also because of the blood covering the ground and tree trunks. And, plus, she had the same collar."
Steele gasped. "Was she moving?" "Yes!" "Where is she?!" Steele asked. Balto cleared his throat.
"Steele, your mother is lying at the bottom of this 50 foot high cliff!"
Steele gasped. "Omg!" "BALTO DON'T LET HIM--!" Boris began but it was too late!
Jenna screamed, Muk nearly fainted, Boris swore, and Luk.... cocked his head. Steele ran towards the edge of the cliff and leapt off it.
"I'M COMING MOMMMY!!!" His voice became fainter and fainter... and Steele was no more.
"Ooh Balto why did you let him?" Jenna asked. "I had to put him out of his misery." Balto said.
"Your idea sucked!" Boris said he began to walk away. "Ok..." Balto said.
That night Balto Jenna and Boris were eating dinner. Jenna was spending the night at Balto's boat and all of them were chatting Boris didn't talk to Balto much but he found he didn't really care.
When Balto brought a chicken in Boris choaked on his water. "There's no chance in hell that I'll eat that!!!" Boris exclaimed.
"Relax Fatty, I am not giving it to you. Me and Jenna are going to have it." "Oh phew!" Boris said.
Jenna began to eat followed shortly by Balto. Boris picked up a bone and looked at it. "What is this?" he asked. "It's a wishbone." Balto said. "Want to make a wish?" Jenna asked. "Ok sure!" Balto and Boris said in unison.
The three of them picked up the wish bone and Balto shut his eyes along with Jenna and Boris, but then there was a snap. "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" Jenna screamed.
Balto rolled his closed eyes and then opened them. "What now...?" then he saw what had happened, the wishbone had snapped and Boris was holding one half and Jenna was holding the other.
"Boris broke the wishbone! Before I was done making my wish! That's bad luck!" "No," Balto corrected her. "Bad luck is crap!"
"Sorry." Boris said. "Don't apologize. Let's get some sleep." Balto Boris and Jenna went over to a corner and fell asleep.
But then in the middle of the night there was a crash. Balto sat bolt up right. "Who goes there?" he asked. He heard voices coming from the kitchen he approached the door and hesitated. It could be a trap! But what if it wasn't? But then he looked over his shoulder and saw Boris and Jenna weren't there!! What if the people in the kitchen were eating them?
Balto let out a Tarzan cry and flung open the door, but there were no dead bodies to be found. Instead the kitchen was full of goose polar bear and huskies.
Kodi and his team were there, with Muk Luk Jenna and Boris. "What the heck?" Balto said. "Yo daddy-kins," Kodi said. Kodi was known to have a rappish way of speaking. "Have yo forgotten?" then everyone pulled out noise makers and baloons. "Happy Birthday Balto!!" everyone cheered.
"It's yo Birthday!" Kodi said and then he grabbed a boom box and a mikrophone. He then called Dusty and Kirby and Ralph up and the four of them started singing.
"Happy birthday you ya'll," Kodi sang. "Happy brithday to ya'll," Dusty chorused. then the four of them. "Happy birthday Balto!" Ralph blew on his noise maker. "Happy birthday to YO!"
"Gee thanks guys!" Balto said. Everyone eat some cake and talked. Kodi was singing a rap song and Balto was walking around doing nothing. Muk and Luk then started a game of Water Baloon Tag where they would throw water baloons at everyone.
Balto walked over to Boris and Jenna. Boris looked up from his soda and smiled. "Happy birthday Boychick. I forgive you."
"And so do I." Balto jumped as Steele came crashing through the door. "Now where's the cake?" "Right over here." Jenna said she led him over to the vinilla cake and Steele cut himself a slice. "How did you survive?" Balto asked.
"I hit the bottom and I saw no one!" Jenna and Boris sat there staring at one another.
"But you survived. How?" Balto asked taking a bite of his own cake slice. "There was only one thought on my mind when I hit the bottom, and I have a feeling it's what kept me alive," Steele told him and suddenly he looked deranged.
"Yeah and what was that?" Balto asked nervously. Then Steele snatched Balto cake and crushed it into little bits. "MURDERING YOU WHEN I REACHED THE TOP!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Balto screamed. "No!" Jenna said. "Why not!?!?!?" Steele snarled as he began to throttle Balto.
Jenna looked nervous but then a gleam came into her eyes. "If you kill him I'll never talk to you again!" Steele gasped, and for a moment Balto thought he was going to leapt at her and rip her head of her neck.
"Oh okay, anyway you can't kill the birthday boy." Steele dropped him and Balto fell like a slinky onto the floor. "Yo yo yo let's cell-a-brate!" Kodi said.
Boris started dancing with Muk and Luk and Balto and Jenna caught Steele dancing with Dixie. "Oh Steely!" Dixie said.
Balto spun Jenna around and lifted her off her paws while Kodi played, not a rap song, a rock and roll song called Jail-House Rock. Then the two of them kissed and when they broke apart Boris dragged Muk and Luk over, followed by Steele and Dixe and all the guest. And a picture was taken with Balto, Boris, Muk, Luk, Jenna, Steele, Dixie, Stella, Silvie and Kodi and his rap group clearly visable on stage.
The warden threw a party in the county jail.
The prison band was there and they began to wail.
The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing.
You should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing.
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.
Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone,
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang,
the whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang.
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.
Number forty-seven said to number three:
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
I sure would be delighted with your company,
come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me."
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.
The sad sack was a sittin' on a block of stone
way over in the corner weepin' all alone.
The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square.
If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair."
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.
Shifty Henry said to Bugs, "For Heaven's sake,
no one's lookin', now's our chance to make a break."
Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, "Nix nix,
I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks."
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.....
JailHouse Rock is (c) to Elvis Presley
I'm Too Sexy is (c) to Right Said Fred.
All characters in this story are copyright to Amblin Entertainment and Universal Studios.
The stupidity however is (c) to Me.
I hope you enjoyed it.