Kodi, Balto and Jenna were driving out on the highway. Kodi was resting his chin in his right arm, looking out the window dejectedly and still thinking on Dusty. Jenna was in the back, reading a magazine.
“Day One: Well, here we are, out on the open road!” Balto said as he filmed around the car, barely focusing on the road itself. “Retracing the steps of my boyhood. And heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Kodi!” Homer then pointed the camera at the depressed teenager. “Say, ‘Hi’, Kodi!”
Kodi was totally outta wack and paid no attention. “Well, how about a wave?” said Jenna. Kodi put his left hand up to the camera’s lens and blocked the view.
“Bite me." Kodi deadpanned.
“What a klutz.” Balto chuckled as he puts the camera away. He turned his attention back to the road, but then turned to Kodi, really noticing that he looked extremely gloomy.
Come on, Balto! Balto's thought said in his head. You gotta do something to cheer up the boy!
Well, what do you suggest? Balto replied to his own thoughts.
I don’t know! I’m your thoughts. If you wanted me to give you ideas, you should’ve passed high school!
But then Balto got an idea on his own. Ha, I got an idea! And no thanks to you! Hehehehehe…
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a list. “‘Fun games I used to play with my dad,’” Balto read the title. “Road bingo…punch buggy…name that state plate…who can drive the best under influence…twenty…That’ll work! Hey, Kodi, let’s play a game! You think of a name, and I’ll try and guess who it is.”
“Ugh, twenty questions,” Jenna groaned. “I’d rather play who can drive the best without using the brake.”
“Man or woman?” Balto asked Kodi.
“Man…” Kodi said half-heartedly.
“Man, huh? Hmm…that’s a toughie…” Balto pondered carefully. “Let’s see…Steven Speilberg?”
“Right,” Balto said unenthusiastically.
“Ha! Balto’s the greatest!” Balto declared in a surfer accent. “Now, I’ll think of one! Hmm…”
The radio blurted out the song "Welcome to the Jungle" as performed by Guns 'N’ Roses.
The music was so loud, Balto and Jenna's heads crashed through the roof…more or less literally. “Ow!” Balto groaned as he and Jenna turned to Kodi, who was air guitaring while the extremely loud music played. “Oh, you wanna listen to music, huh?” Balto smiled. “Me, your mom and my daughter, Aleu used to listen to this tape all the time!” Balto took out an 8-track tape and slipped it in the radio, which interrupts Kodi's music and began to play Raffi's Baby Beluga. Now, Balto started singing along to it.
Balto: [singing] Baby Beluga....
Baby Beluga.....
Is the water warm? Is your momma home with you so happy...
Way down the yonder where the dolphins play...
Kodi couldn't handle Balto singing Baby Beluga. Kodi turned back on Guns ‘N’ Roses.
And Balto turned it back on to Baby Beluga.
Kodi turned it back on to Guns ‘N’ Roses.
Balto and Kodi turned it on and on until….the cassette player couldn’t handle the tape. (SFX: cassette stutters)
Then, Balto stopped it. He takes the tape out and the machine has eaten the tape. “Uh Oh.” said Balto, holding the ruined tape in his paws. “Oh, great, Dad! Now we don’t have any tapes to listen to!” Kodi said angrily. Balto turned the song on Kodi was listening to. It was Guns ‘N’ Roses from before. “Do you still want to listen to the song?” Balto asked to his son. “No, just turn it off.” said Kodi. Balto sighed. He turned off the radio.
“Oh, it’s not so bad,” Jenna shrugged.
Homer agreed, “Now I turned the radio off, I guess we’ll have to entertain ourselves!” But of course, this was not an easy thing to do. Suddenly, Balto heard a clinking noise. The keys were tapping a catchy tune! The car backfire was also making a catchy puff-a-poof noise. That’s when Balto realized that almost anything can make music. He whistled a bit and noticed a large sign outside that read, “The Open Road”.
Balto: [singing] Do ya need a break from modern livin’?
Do ya long to shed your weary load?
If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried,
Just grab a friend and take a ride
Together, upon the open road!
Balto put his arm around Kodi’s neck, Kodi, looking absolutely terrified as the car swerved around.
“C’mon, Kodi! Sing!” Jenna insisted, but Kodi got out of Balto’s grip.
Kodi: All in all, I’d rather have detention
All in all, I’d rather eat a toad!
Noticing the traffic, Balto was very angry and tried to avoid it like a madman.
An old man drives like such a klutz
That I’m about to hurl my guts
Directly upon the open road!
Balto: There’s nothin’ can upset me, cuz now were on our way!
Our trusty map will guide us strait and true!
Balto held out the map wide and started driving with his feet. And Kodi looked up into the sky to see a cloud shaped like Dusty.
Kodi: Dusty, please don’t forget me! I will return someday!
But then Kodi looked at where they were going and he was going to scream! Jenna realized what was going on. They were about to crash into a construction scaffold! Of course, there were traffic cones and a big blinking arrow pointing the other way, but Balto’s face was in the map.
Though I may be in traction when I do!
Kodi covered his eyes as they crashed through it, unharmed. Unfortunately, the workers on top of the thing fell to the ground. Balto finally set the map down, oblivious to what just happened.
Balto: Me, Jenna and Kodi relaxin’ like the old days
Kodi: This is worse than dragon’s breath and acne
Balto: In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!
Kodi: I’m so mad, I think I may explode!
Balto: To see that highway, I could cry!
Jenna: [spoken] You know, that’s funny, so could I!
Balto and Kodi: Just being out on the open road!
Suddenly, a pick-up truck with a piano in the back pulled up next to them. The piano was being played by a husky, then 2 husky cowgirls (the one that looks close to Dusty, the other one that looks close to Aleu) popped out from the piano
Cowgirls: Howdy guys! Is this the way to Nashville?
The three guys blushed as they waved, “Hello!” But they almost hit a tow-truck, driven by a redneck wolf truck driver.
Redneck driver: WATCH IT, MACK!
Or you’ll be getting towed!
Balto smirked nervously as they pulled away. A prison wagon came up with Steele chained up inside. You know, the evil villain from Balto. And actually, he’s an Alaskan Malamute.
Steele: I’m in no hurry to arrive
‘Cause I’ll be turning sixty-five
The next time I see the open road!
Balto turned to look at Kodi and pictured a black and white striped prison uniform with a chain-and-ball attached to Kodi’s ankle. Panicky, Balto quickly drove away. Muk and Luk (The polar bear cubs) drove up in a car.
Muk: Just a week of rest and relaxation!
Luk: Yeah!
Muk: And the odd fantastic episode!
Kodi: VERY odd!
Nuk, Sumac and Yak were at the edge of the road, trying to hitch a ride. They were carrying heavy luggage
Nuk: It’s Minnesota-eye-ay or bust!
A wolf (who wears a black jacket, a blue shirt, a necklace, blue jeans, and sneakers) drove on a motrcycle and cuts Balto off.
Wolf in jacket: Look out, you dirtbags, eat my dust!
From now on, I’m on the open road!
Balto angrily rammed the side of the car against the wolf’s, where the motorcycle promptly drove away so fast, leaving flames behind. Balto and Jenna coughed so hoarsely.
Balto: It’s me and little Kodi, my pip-squeak pioneer!
A car full of huskies drove past them.
Huskies: Their car ventures forever westward ho
Ye-haw!
Kodi: Could someone call a taxi and get me out of here to Saint Paul 5-5-1-0-1?
ANOTHER car, this time a limo, drove past them with the passenger’s hand sticking out of the top. To Kodi’s surprise, it had was all of the rings on the passenger’s fingers and then he moved with the diamonds on the rings shining.
Balto, Jenna and Chorus: Oh, every day another new adventure!
Every mile another new zip code!
A hearse drove by Balto, Jenna and Kodi.
Wolf hearse driver: And the cares…
A green and bony male dog came out of its coffin.
Male dog: …we had are gone for good!
Kodi: [spoken] And I’d go with them if I could!
Now, everyone was singing! Most of them were dancing to the top of their vehicles (including Balto). It was Jenna’s turn to drive the car when her husband was dancing on the roof of the car.
Balto, Jenna and Chorus: I got no strings on me!
I’m feelin’ fancy free!
How wonderful to be…
A big shield appeared from the top, somewhat from an ‘80s logo.
On the open ro-o-o-o-oad!
Everyone threw money to Balto, Jenna and Kodi. It was a beautiful sunset. Kodi called his father to get back in the car because there was a overpass at him. The big shield followed them. Balto got in the car safely and Jenna sat back to her normal position. The shield crashed into the overpass as Balto’s car went over it. The song ended. And the sky turned dark.