Taka_PL's foreword:
[I have an honour to introduce You the very special story. The Black Branch is the fourth possible ending of “Trails on Sand”, story authored by me. Ograndebatata read it, liked it (I hope), but still somehow felt unsatisfied with the final result. In original story, there were three possible finales, one for readers cheering Kiara, one for readers cheering Tetesi and one for ones, who were unable to decide where their fondness lays. But that set lacks of quite obvious solution, closing the four eventual results of struggle between Golden Queen and her rival. Ograndebatata made up for that negligence and that way The Black Branch comes to your paws.
Read, and feel free to choose the conclusion You like the most. All four are roughly compatible with chromatically later story – The Previous Round - and it’s depends on You, what could be the matching one. For sure, Ograndebatata’s ending keeps the general feeling of story and excellently adapts my original idea of noir story, placed in the Land of Sand.
And above all else – it’s simple short, yet bloody (literally!) good piece of story.
Enjoy!]
The Black Branch
Chungu pounced on Tetesi with so much speed that both he and she were thrown four metres aside. On that moment, the brownfurred lioness was holding Kiara’s neck on her paws, so, when she was pushed, the other lioness’s neck was ripped apart by the full extended claws of her… subject? Friend? Rival? All of them in one? Or not even one of those things?
Whatever it was, Kiara had no time to think about that. She only had enough time to do something. Without knowing why, the golden lioness got up on her four paws, and started running - or hobbling, depending from the point of view – towards the Golden Cave. It was useless, and wouldn’t give her any chance of survival. So, why to do it?
Meanwhile, Tetesi was facing her own problems. After falling on the sand, and recovering from Chungu’s charge, the first thing that she noticed was that her claws were dirty with Kiara’s blood. She smiled, knowing that she had finally fulfiled her main goal – to kill Kovu’s mate, leaving him completely free to her. But just because that was the main goal it didn’t mean it was the last, like the brownfurred lioness came to understand when the rogue’s heavy paw hit her right on the head. She stepped back, barely avoiding the next attack.
“You killed Angaa!” growled Chungu.
“Sorry I had to misunderstood his peaceful intentions.” said Tetesi with weary and at the same time ironical voice. The dizziness inside her head was so much that she didn’t care for thinking why the first blow had let her alive. Was it to give her another chance to live at Kovu’s side? Or to make her to feel any repentance for her mistake – if killing Kiara had been a mistake, and she had to feel repentance. The only thing that she knew was that the situation wasn’t coming as she had planned. At all.
“You will die!” said the angry lion, attacking again.
“Someday, evpecial story. The Black Branch is the fourth possible ending of “Trails on Sand”, story authored by me. Ograndebatata read it, liked it (I hope), but still somehow felt unsatisfied with the final result. In original story, there were three possible finales, one for readers cheering Kiara, one for readers cheering Tetesi and one for ones, who were unable to decide where their fondness lays. But that set lacks of quite obvious solution, closing the four eventual results of struggle between Golden Queen and her rival. Ograndebatata made up for that negligence and that way The Black Branch comes to your paws.
Read, and feel free to choose the conclusion You like the most. All four are roughly compatible with chromatically later story – The Previous Round - and it’s depends on You, what could be the matching one. For sure, Ograndebatata’s ending keeps the general feeling of story and excellently adapts my original idea of noir story, placed in the Land of Sand.
And above all else – it’s simple short, yet bloody (literally!) good piece of story.
Enjoy!]
The Black Branch
Chungu pounced on Tetesi with so much speed that both he and she were thrown four metres aside. On that moment, the brownfurred lioness was holding Kiara’s neck on her paws, so, when she was pushed, the other lioness’s neck was ripped apart by the full extended claws of her… subject? Friend? Rival? All of them in one? Or not even one of those things?
Whatever it was, Kiara had no time to think about that. She only had enough time to do something. Without knowing why, the golden lioness got up on her four paws, and started running - or hobbling, depending from the point of view – towards the Golden Cave. It was useless, and wouldn’t give her any chance of survival. So, why to do it?
Meanwhile, Tetesi was facing her own problems. After falling on the sand, and recovering from Chungu’s charge, the first thing that she noticed was that her claws were dirty with Kiara’s blood. She smiled, knowing that she had finally fulfiled her main goal – to kill Kovu’s mate, leaving him completely free to her. But just because that was the main goal it didn’t mean it was the last, like the brownfurred lioness came to understand when the rogue’s heavy paw hit her right on the head. She stepped back, barely avoiding the next attack.
“You killed Angaa!” growled Chungu.
“Sorry I had to misunderstood his peaceful intentions.” said Tetesi with weary and at the same time ironical voice. The dizziness inside her head was so much that she didn’t care for thinking why the first blow had let her alive. Was it to give her another chance to live at Kovu’s side? Or to make her to feel any repentance for her mistake – if killing Kiara had been a mistake, and she had to feel repentance. The only thing that she knew was that the situation wasn’t coming as she had planned. At all.
eryone will.” said Tetesi, somehow dodging the following hit.
While the rogue prepared for another hit, the lioness had enough time to look around for Kiara. She saw her, hobbling in the Golden Cave’s direction, while a stream of red blood was flowing from her neck. On that moment, without knowing why, Tetesi chuckled. Maybe it was from satisfaction or relief, for knowing that at least her plan was partially succeeding. Whatever it was, the sound caught Chungu’s attention. The lioness noticed it, and then the idea of how to get rid of her last obstacle came to her mind.
“What’s so funny?” asked Chungu.
“Will you let her go?” asked the lioness.
For a moment, the uncertain lion began turning his neck to Kiara, but then, before doing it completely, he turned to Tetesi - who was already crouching, ready to pounce – and shouted: “What do you think that I am, stupid? I don’t fall for your tricks!”
“Damn it!” said Tetesi in mind. Now, it was all or nothing. She pounced on the lion, with wide open mouth, ready to solve the problem. But then, unexpectedly, Chungu also pounced on her.
Both predators collided in mid-air, biting and slashing each other, before falling heavily on the ground.
*
Unaware to all the problems that her killer was facing, Kiara was just walking ahead, slowly losing any kind of consciousness of the world around her. But somehow, as time passed, she was getting more aware of the whole situation. She didn’t feel any pain or sorrow – just a weakness that was quickly gaining complete control of her. The lioness knew that she was dying, but somehow – she didn’t know exactly why, she tried to go as far as she could.
“Maybe I am doing it for Kovu.” she thought with fading mind. “Or for Tetesi. They think that I’m too weak, and somehow they all wanted to eliminate me, even if only she did something directly in that sense. Well, maybe I’m dead, but I’ll show them that I can walk in the desert. It’s less hard than I thought. Focusing on moving ahead, and forget the weariness. I only wish I had understood it some months earlier. But now… can you see it? I’m a desert lioness now!”
That was her last living thought, before her paws finally became unable to stand her weight, and her muzzle hit the hot sand of her kingdom
*
It’s over. For me, for Chungu, and for Kiara. Both I and he are lying on the sand, slowly dying. Maybe we would be able to move, but now there’s no actual reason to do it. I’m not feeling any actual pain, but I know that my strenght is slowly draining. I don’t know how it happened exactly, but, when I and Chungu collided in mid-air, I managed to squash his trachea in a single bite, but, as we fell, he grabbed my neck with his claws, and ripped it off. Well, I guess Chungu is dead already, at least he isn’t moving, but I… I failed. I wanted so much to give Kovu a good mate that I failed, and even took from him the one that he already had. Now, he is all alone. That isn’t what I wanted. But things don’t always happen as we want.
More details? Never mind. What I can say is that males are less stupid that I first thought. And now I wonder, if Kovu will ever know how stupid it was the way how I loved him.
But somehow I die happily. I got better fate than I deserved. I enjoyed love of my king ‘till death. I doubt if Kiara would dare to tell him the whole truth, but that doesn’t matter, because she won’t survive to do it. So, probably he will remember Kiara as a good friend and a good lioness, and remember me like his devoted subject and real…
Never mind. In the end, neither I nor Kiara got Kovu. Maybe he is so good that no lioness deserves him as mate. The problem is that he is all alone, without a queen.
I’m sorry Kovu. I’m so glad you will never know about
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aerodynamic*
Okay, your premise was original - everyone dies.
The way you wrote it down was also pretty good, although a bit
short.
I didn't really got Kovu's reasoning, though. He was
pretty decisive in his actions right after the tragedy, but then seems
to lose focus.
That you shortly hinted at how Dhalimu would
develop in the future was a good move to end with, maybe even a
(minimal) improvement over the original version.