desert lioness now!”

That was her last living thought, before her paws finally became unable to stand her weight, and her muzzle hit the hot sand of her kingdom

*

It’s over. For me, for Chungu, and for Kiara. Both I and he are lying on the sand, slowly dying. Maybe we would be able to move, but now there’s no actual reason to do it.  I’m not feeling any actual pain, but I know that my strenght is slowly draining. I don’t know how it happened exactly, but, when I and Chungu collided in mid-air, I managed to squash his trachea in a single bite, but, as we fell, he grabbed my neck with his claws, and ripped it off. Well, I guess Chungu is dead already, at least he isn’t moving, but I… I failed. I wanted so much to give Kovu a good mate that I failed, and even took from him the one that he already had. Now, he is all alone. That isn’t what I wanted. But things don’t always happen as we want.

More details? Never mind. What I can say is that males are less stupid that I first thought. And now I wonder, if Kovu will ever know how stupid it was the way how I loved him.

But somehow I die happily. I got better fate than I deserved. I enjoyed love of my king ‘till death. I doubt if Kiara would dare to tell him the whole truth, but that doesn’t matter, because she won’t survive to do it. So, probably he will remember Kiara as a good friend and a good lioness, and remember me like his devoted subject and real…

Never mind. In the end, neither I nor Kiara got Kovu. Maybe he is so good that no lioness deserves him as mate. The problem is that he is all alone, without a queen.

I’m sorry Kovu. I’m so glad you will never know about how stupid was way I loved you.
I… I’m done. I’m going back on desert where I belong. Maybe, someday I will find there oasis of redemption.

 

Epilogue

 

When I’m recalling that day, I can’t stop myself from shivering. I try to do the best that I can to rule alone, but it is hard. Some months have passed since that tragedy, and now… I’m not yet sure about what to think. However, I remember that day perfectly.

I’m not sure about how exactly the reconnaissance ended, but we found Kiara, about half a way from Rumble Gorge to the Golden Cave, dead after cut of both neck arteries.

Later we found Tetesi and Chungu, both dead… now I had no one who could actually comfort me. I would actually have cried there, if not for having another serious business on mind.

About an hour after our tragic discovery, Lipizi and Jamaa ran to the gorge and found Angaa’s body. So, the story seemed obvious, at least for me: the two rogues had tried to kill the Golden Queen, and succeeded, and during the process they killed Tetesi, who stood heroically for her monarchess, unfortunately in vain.

It was very hard to do what I had to, but I exiled Lipizi from Golden Sands, because I was sure that she encouraged Angaa to kill my mate and subject. I was preparing to force her to confess, but – fortunately, because we saved time like that – she told everything by herself.

“I loved him, you *******!” cried lightfurred. “Ghibu was father of my cubs… But I loved him… I love them both and you killed them both.” She rushed to pounce on me, but Jamaa overturned her and pinned to the ground.
“Please…” he whispered to Kovu. “Don’t avenge on her.”

I barely heard what Jamaa said, because I was using almost all the strenght I had to repress myself of jumping to Lipizi’s neck. Whatever, I did what he asked. Partially, at least.
“You are not allowed to live here, Lipizi.” I called, with so decisive voice that now I get surprised.. “Your cubs shall stay in pride. We will give them better care than their wicked mother could give.”
“I bet you will, Your Infallibility!” and spat on me.
“Are you trying my patience?” I asked with growling voice. Maybe first time in my life I was so angry and merciless… except maybe when I tried to kill Simba. But it was necessary. I don’t know why, but I bet that Kauli got very pleased.  “Go away.”
She turned east and set off ahead. After few steps she stopped, to look on her cubs, but growl of whole pride hastened her. So she went further and Jamaa followed.
“Wait, Jamaa!” I called, surprised. “I have nothing against you. You may stay and…”
“You are noble and right king, my lord.” Said lion with hollow voice. “It’s really unfortunate what happened here. But please, do not ask me to praise your justice. It hurts.” Then he turned back to Lipizi. “I’m going with her, because she is only pride I have now. Farewell, fair ruler. I hope you are satisfied.”
I heard the lionesses sighing with sorrow, and even I did the same inside. Jamaa was favourite of the whole pride, and a very useful help. But if he willingly defied me, it was better for him to leave. But <better> not always means <good>. We just watched them leaving for some time, unable to do anything, because nobody actually knew what to think.

“Let’s go home.” I said finally. “Many bad things happened, but we can’t undo them. We could only make sure that none of those mistakes would be repeated in future.”
So we entered cave – smaller and harmed pride. But somehow stronger. We were whole again.

I am going very well with Dhalimu. I love him as I should love my son, and he loves me as he should love his father. Or maybe even more, because I am, somehow, father and mother to him at the same time. I refused to take any other lioness as my mate. I already have an heir, so I don’t think I need a mate anymore. Even if I needed, I wouldn’t be able to have one, after what happened to Tetesi and Kiara. Dhalimu is the best son in the world, but I notice that heseems a little bit jealous of the other cubs. I asked him several time why, but he always says it is because he doesn’t have a mother. He doesn’t hate me, he doesn’t place any fault on me, but he seems to place it all on Chungu and Angaa… probably when he becomes an adult he will hate rouges… I am trying to teach him that it was just the Circle of Life, it wasn’t meant to happen, but I have some doubts that he fully understands my explanations. He seemed to have a big bond with Kiara, in spite the fact he barely remembers about her.

Even today, I wonder what would be better. To have Tetesi on my side, or to have Kiara… Kiara had lots of advantages… but most of them didn’t help in being a queen. So, (I hope Kiara forgives me if she is hearing what I say) I think Tetesi would be a better queen. However (I hope Tetesi forgives me if she is hearing what I say), I think Kiara would be a better mother to Dhalimu. Maybe because of her more gentle and simple-hearted nature… oh… what it cares now?

Somehow, the whole pride and Kauli are helping me to rule the Golden Sands, eventhough everyday I doubt if I am really a good king. So, if I may ask… mother… dad…. Scar… help me. And, if I may ask that… help me both of you, Tetesi and Kiara.

I called, with so decisive voice that now I get surprised.. “Your cubs shall stay in pride. We will give them better care than their wicked mother could give.”
“I bet you will, Your Infallibility!” and spat on me.
“Are you trying my patience?” I asked with growling voice. Maybe first time in my life I was so angry and merciless… except maybe when I tried to kill Simba. But it was necessary. I don’t know why, but I bet that Kauli got very pleased.  “Go away.”
She turned east and set off ahead. After few steps she stopped, to look on her cubs, but growl of whole pride hastened her. So she went further and Jamaa followed.
“Wait, Jamaa!” I called, surprised. “I have nothing against you. You may stay and…”
“You are noble and right king, my lord.” Said lion with hollow voice. “It’s really unfortunate what happened here. But please, do not ask me to praise your justice. It hurts.” Then he turned back to Lipizi. “I’m going with her, because she is only pride I have now. Farewell, fair ruler. I hope you are satisfied.”
I heard the lionesses sighing with sorrow, and even I did the same inside. Jamaa was favourite of the whole pride, and a very useful help. But if he willingly defied me, it was better for him to leave. But <better> not always means <good>. We just watched them leaving for some time, unable to do anything, because nobody actually knew what to think.

“Let’s go home.” I said finally. “Many bad things happened, but we can’t undo them. We could only make sure that none of those mistakes would be repeated in future.”
So we entered cave – smaller and harmed pride. But somehow stronger. We were whole again.

I am going very well with Dhalimu. I love him as I should love my son, and he loves me as he should love his father. Or maybe even more, because I am, somehow, father and mother to him at the same time. I refused to take any other lioness as my mate. I already have an heir, so I don’t think I need a mate anymore. Even if I needed, I wouldn’t be able to have one, after what happened to Tetesi and Kiara. Dhalimu is the best son in the world, but I notice that heseems a little bit jealous of the other cubs. I asked

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