Princess of the Pridelands at that time, Aricin’s grandmother, the same grandmother of his siblings and respective cousins, had changed Kovu’s life, how he had fallen in love with her and helped her stop the war between their two prides.

Through that story Aricin had learned that feelings could be twisted for the wrong reasons and changed for right. He’d learned that feelings were fragile, but not once did it stop him from being the way he was, much like his father – arrogant, cocky, boastful, picky, and – when it came to his younger siblings – cruel, but he was kind to his sister Jyotika because she was the youngest and weaker than the rest.

His ears tipped back, his whiskers twitched. From the moment he and Asya took over the Jangwa Pride has the rulers Asya had never expected anything from him. Even in the early days of their rule he was a little arrogant and boastful but not as bad. Perhaps he wasn’t for the simple reason he wasn’t around any of his family. He wasn’t around anybody of Pridelander royal blood he could show up and or show off to. There was competition with so many royals in one large pride… perhaps, too much.

Under such pressure like that… it can make anyone do something crazy or act up and out.

Here he was with strangers, but these strangers were looking to him and Asya for guidance and leadership. Being around these Jangwans as he called them in his mind were slowly peeling away his old self – the arrogance, the boastfulness, the cockiness, everything that made him what he was.

And being near Asya in her illness was doing more. He was feeling something – Pity, empathy, maybe even some sympathy. He wasn’t sure about the last part, but he was feeling. It was frightening him. He was afraid to lose her. This lioness who was so kind to him, even when he was certain that she wanted to claw his eyes out and demand that he take some responsibility – not that he shirked his duties as King, on the contrary – this lioness who did not love him.

Aricin tried to speak, then did. His voice was soft and gentle. “Privately, away from each other, we both wondered what we would do if…” He paused. “If you had feelings for me or if I had any for you.” He looked up at the cave’s ceiling, his mind being pulled back again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was Asya who came to him. He was sitting in the grass not far from the den. He had left the royal chamber because he was unable to sleep. He was unable to sleep near his mate and Queen because of the thoughts running through his mind, because of the constant struggle and fear of telling her the truth. How long he’d been outside he had no idea nor did he care, but he knew she would wake, see him gone, and leave the den to find him. When she did – and she had now – maybe they could get their feelings, or lack thereof, out in the open once and for all.

He turned to her and offered a one sided smile. He dipped his head. “Good morning Asya.”

She returned the smile. “Same too you, Aricin,” she replied and then she stared at the horizon before them. There was a silence between them. There almost always was. Usually it was comforting, but not today. This time it was hard and uneasy. Asya flexed her paws and finally faced him. “Let’s go for a walk.”

He nodded and they left their keep. The walk was silent, but all of them were. What could two mates who were joined together for the sake of their kingly fathers say to each other? Or what could a King say to his Queen about not possibly loving her all the while half expecting her feelings would be the opposite, and, on the Queen’s part vice-versa with the same half expectation. Neither knew it but they both feared the same thing.

Aricin couldn’t bear himself to look at her, for fear of what he would see in her eyes. After a while he opened his mouth to speak but no words came. His throat was dry and before he could muster up any courage it was Asya who broke the tension between them. “Aricin, I have something to tell you.” She stopped. He did too and was surprised as she walked up a little then turned and faced him. He sat in the grass, bracing himself and his heart for what was to come, but little did he know that as she sat followed his move and sat she was doing the same.

“Aricin,” she began, “I like you, but… I don’t know if I ever could like you as anything more than a friend.” The young Queen’s ears tipped backward and for a moment she turned her face away, trying to keep her emotions in.

Aricin waited. He could give her that much, his patience. It was another rare thing for him but this was a serious matter and worth any waiting he was forcing himself to endure. He had expected to hear something different, not what had come out of her mouth. He watched as she faced him again, her eyes serious, yet pained.

“I… I don’t love you,” she continued. “I’m not sure I ever could. We still know so little about each other, and even if we did know more about the other it wouldn’t change anything.”

Aricin noticed she was shaking. This was hard on her, but he knew that if it had been him who started speaking he’d be shaking too. She spoke again, still staring at him. He felt his jaw drop at her words. Maybe they weren’t so different. He could just watch as Asya stared at him, at this lion who was her mate, yet not. An ear flickered.
“You do understand that I don't love you... right, Aricin?” she asked, her voice speaking with a slight tone of fear.
The dark red brown lion stared at her and nodded knowingly. He managed to speak himself, shaking his mane a little. “Yes, I do, Asya,” he said, pronouncing her name as kindly as he could. He shrugged. “Of course how could you? Or how could I love you? Like you said, we barely know each other. Even if we did it probably wouldn’t make a difference. Besides, we're only together for the sake of our prides, to keep them happy.”
“Yes,” Asya said with a dry mouth. “And… now that that’s out in the open, I… if it’s okay with you, I’d still like you to be my King. We… we’ll just have to pretend to be mates around the pride, which isn’t fair to either of us.”

“But we don’t have a choice, Asya,” said Aricin. “To do so otherwise, my pride, or, my old pride won’t like it and there’s a chance that both Jangwa and the Pridelands will attack each other.” He looked at her. “You and I are King and Queen here to prevent that.” He shrugged and looked away for a moment. “We’re stuck together, whether we like it or not.” He licked his lips and looked back at her. “I thank you for allowing me to remain King” He tried a smile. “I will continue to be a good co-ruler with you.”

Asya smiled kindly at him and agreed with everything he said with a nod of her own.

They didn't say anything more. There was nothing to say. After a moment of quietness they headed back to the den, their den, and to their pride. Though he and his ‘mate’ couldn’t read each other’s thoughts Aricin had a slight feeling what Asya’s were. Because two kings owed each other a favor, their children were stuck together... for the good of their prides and not for the good of themselves.
They were stuck, trapped in a game of politics with no thought or feeling of their own. Their fathers had decided their fates and their futures for them.

But for Aricin this matter made him hate his father even more, maybe more than when he was turned down for the Pridelander kingship.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The memory ended, and his ears twitched and flickered to the sound of near quiet noises. He turned his head sharply. It was Asya. She wasn’t speaking but she was making sounds. Suddenly, surrounded inside and out with more of that empathy or pity… something, Aricin reached out with a paw and touch hers gently. It was damp.

He studied her, looking on her side. Carefully he laid his face there, feeling her side rise and fall with every tiny breath she took. His emotions rose and he felt more pained than ever. He hoped and prayed she wasn’t going to die. He found himself wanting her to be all right. She has to be… The pride needs her, the kingdom needs her, and…

Could he finish the thought? Wasn’t it her being this way making him feel the way he was? They were King and Queen and their pride was looking to them for complete leadership. The way he and Asya were living now… mates, yet not, telling each other that they could stay together and have different mates… There had never been such a custom in the Pridelands! No ruler would ever allow him or herself to be mates with another when his or her true mate was the one ruling alongside them. It had been that way in the Pridelands for generations. Probably since the kingdom’s founding for all Aricin knew.

Here things were different, at least the way he and Asya ran things. It was her father, the late King Malka who made it so that the only mate a ruler in Jangwa could take was the one ruling alongside them. Asya’s parents… they had ruled together up until the old King was too tired, near death, gave the throne to his eldest daughter, and eventually passed away. He kept his head on Asya’s side. She was still breathing but she was cold. The fever was taking its toll. She’d been warm when he first entered and laid his paw on her head, but no more.

He withdrew his head, slowly rose, and