Animation Source Forums

Ok, I've decided to start writing my first fanfic! I'm excited about this, seeing as I love to write and I want everyone's input on this. I'm open to criticism or changes that should be made to it if you think it should be changed. Ok, I'll start with the prologue and depending on responses, I'll work on from there.

Prologue

The Sanarin Pack was always a peaceful pack to say the least. Under the leadership of Niran, it was easy to see why. He and his mate Lunera ruled with fairness and justice, not accepting unlawful behavior in any manner. After the first year of their reign, Lunera gave birth to five pups, three of which were unfortunately killed when a wolf foolishly attempted to invade their lands. The two that remained were Kalil, the first-born, and Tychon, the last-born. Niran decided that by age, Kalil was the one destined to be the next Alpha of the Sanarins, which he rightfully was. A year later, Lunera gave birth to four more pups, but once more, three died over the winter; leaving only Najan. Kalil found it his sworn duty to protect his youngest brother from any harm and did so for 6 months and planned to until he was appointed the new Alpha. But he could never have forseen a series of events that would send his life into a test; a test of strength, will, prudence, and intelligence. He could never have forseen who would place this test before him, for to start the test, that one would have to commit treachary on the highest scale... and he did.

Wow!! Interesting Balto! You did a great job in the prolouge! ^^

The only thing I can say to add to your prolouge, or in the rest of your fic, is to give some detail about the appearences of your characters. You should definitely continue with this story. Your prolouge makes me wanna find out why the fanfic is called Traitors.

Yeah, you get a more thorough description of them in the actual fanfic part of it, but this is just the prologue! Much more to come! ^_^

I can hardly wait! Do you think after you're finished with this fic, that you'll create a fanfic gallery? If you do, I'll keep a close eye on it so I know when you post a new story.

Yeah, I'm gonna create a fanfic gallery, for I plan to write a few fanfics! Who knows, I may write alot!

ZOMG!! It's Great!! *nuzzles him* I luff it!! Can't wait to read the rest... Mabey when I get my lazy butt to type a story I will show it too you >.> XD!

lol! Keep that a goal Kira. Then you'll have something to work towards! Thanks for all the positive feedback coming at me, and this is just the prologue! I'm gonna post Chapter 1 tomorrow, so be ready!

Ok, here it is! The beginning of Traitor!

Traitor
By: Balto5670

Rating: PG-13 for violence, some language, and a couple of love scenes later on.

All characters depicted in this story are copywrited by me. Any similarities to any real events or wolves, either living or dead, is entirely coincidental, seeing as I know no wolves.

Chapter 1: Darkness Broods

"No!" Kalil shouted, then a large wolf hit him in his side, sending him to the ground. He lay sprawled out on the rocky ground, pain coursing through his body like the blood in him. He groaned and stood up, a sharp pain in his right paw. He glared at his attacker, a wolf about his size, shrouded in darkness. The wolf ran forward and grabbed him by the back of the neck and tossed him to the edge of a nearby cliff. Kalil hit the ground an rolled off the side, barely grabbing the edge with his paws, his claws digging into the rock. Struggling, he tried to pull himself up, but he was beaten too badly; he'd lost most of his strength. He glanced up into the eys of his attacker, a deep hate filling the dark wolf's eyes. It grabbed Kalil's paws and put his muzzle to his ear. "Goodbye Kalil..." it whispered and tossed him over the edge. Kalil screamed as he fell into darkness.

"No!" Kalil shouted and bolted straight up, quickly looking back and forth around his family's den. He gasped for air and lay his head down on his paws. Only a dream... he thought and shook a bit, still afraid of his nightmare, Only a dream... He heard someone approaching and looked up into the concerned icy-blue eyes of a white wolf. "Kalil, are you alright dear?" she asked and he nodded in reply. "I-I'm fine Mom," he said and stood up, shaking off his grey and white pelt, "Just a nightmare..." She walked up beside him and nuzzled him comfortingly. "Your brother's looking for you..." she said softly and smiled at him. "Oh jeez, I hope I didn't keep him waiting!" Kalil said and dashed out of the den, yelling back "Love you Mom" as he shot out into the sunlight.

Najan leapt from rock to rock outside of their den. He hadn't even noticed Kalil had woken up and was sneaking up on him. As he leapt to another rock, Kalil caught him in midair with his paw and placed him on his back, tickling his belly with his paw. "Kalil!" Najan said, giggling like mad, "That's not fair! You can't do that!" "Oh really? It looks like I am!" Kalil answered back, smiling down at the solid grey pup and let his brother get to his feet and climb onto his back. Kalil ran about the small clearing where their den was, Najan laughing while holding onto Kalil's back.

From atop a larger rock, Tychon watched Kalil play around with Najan. He glared at the thought of him eventually becoming the Alpha of the Sanarin's. He's not fit to be the Alpha, Tychon thought coldly, Hell, he's not even fit to be the Beta! It disgusts me to think that he'll lead us in due time... I should be the rightful heir to the Alpha position, not him! He growled silently and rolled onto his back, his white fur blowing gently in the wind, gazing up at the sky. I'll have to get rid of him... Then maybe I can lead the way a true Aplha should lead... But how? He's always with Najan. You won't find one without the other... Tychon grinned evilly. Then I'll just have to take them both out... I'll wait for the right time, take Kalil, then finish off Najan. I'll be the Alpha and Kalil will have a weight off of his shoulders. Tychon held back the urge to laugh evilly, for risk of being caught. I'll get them when the time is right... Without another thought on that matter, Tychon calmly stood up and walked down to join his family.



There it is! Chapter 1 of Traitor! Let me know what you think of it. Of course, I'm welcome to comments of all kinds!

Nice 1 Balto.

GReat job on the first chapter! ^^ Definitely keep going, I'm so ineterested by this. I wonder what Tychon's plot is on how to take Najan and Kalil out...

Great Balto!! I like It alot! *hug* Very Good ^.^

More,more I NEED MORE!

Ok, thanks for all the positive feedback on my fanfic everyone, I really appreciate it! Now without any further interruptions from schoolwork, I give you Chapter 2 of Traitor.

Chapter 2: Conspiring A Dark Deed

Lunera smiled as she watched Kalil and Najan play from the entrance of their den. God bless you Kalil, she thought and sighed, Najan would be lost without you. It's a good thing he has you to look out for him... Lunera heard a sound behind her and turned to look what it was only to recieve a quick lick across her cheek. "They're a tight pair, huh?" asked a voice she knew well. "Yes, they are Niran..." she replied as her mate sat down beside her, shaking his solid grey pelt off, "Kalil reminds me of you when you were younger." "You mean strong, charming, handsome, and intelligent?" Niran asked with a chuckle and Lunera laughed back, "I'm proud to one day hand over my title as Alpha to him. He's worthy of it in my eyes." Lunera nodded and lay her head on his shoulder. "We're lucky to have them, and Tychon too..." she replied softly as they watched their sons with pride.

Kalil stopped running around and lay down, catching his breath as Najan climbed off of his back. "That was fun, big bro!" he said playfully and nipped at Kalil's nose. Kalil laughed and sat up, out of reach of his youngest brother's bite. "Try to nip me now tiger!" he challenged and laughed again as Najan tried to jump up and nip at his nose again, "Hey Najan, wanna go to the cliffside? I know how much you like it there." Najan's eyes lit up. "Can we Kalil? Can we? Oh boy!" he replied eagerly and jumped about. "Alright, settle down," Kalil said and looked over at Niran and Lunera, "Hey Mom, Dad, I'm taking Najan to the cliffside! Be back later!" He smiled when his parents nodded their approval. "Come on Najan!" he said and ran alongside his brother as they made their way to the cliffside.

Tychon watched Kalil and Najan from behind a tree, scowling at them. Najan I can forgive for his playfulness because he's a pup, but Kalil; that's just unacceptable for the future Alpha to be playing like that! he thought, disgusted at how childish Kalil seemed, I'd be doing our pack a favor by eliminating him! It's a shame Najan has to go as well, but sacrifices are necessary at times... He heard Kalil shout to their parents about going to the cliffside and almost jumped for joy. That's how I'll get them! The cliffside! One little push and they both tumble down and go to sleep... permanently. No one will find their bodies and no one will be the wiser... He watched Kalil run off with Najan and began to slowly follow behind them, keeping his distance so that they wouldn't detect him. Just you wait Kalil... You're in for the shock of what's left of your life...

Alrighty then! There's Chapter 2 for you! Chapter 3 should be following shortly, so keep your eyes out for updates! Let me know what you think of it, I'm dying for input here everyone!

Omigosh!! Another fantastic chapter! You are aan awesome job on your fic, keep up the great work! ^^ *glomps and squeezes*

Ok, here's Chapter 3. I put it up earlier than I expected to, but I did anyway because I was bored and I can. I think you'll like this one best out of the three so far... Enjoy.

Chapter 3: A Plan Set In Motion

It didn't take them long to reach the cliffside at the border of Sanarin territory. It was a rather high rocky ledge that towered roughly 100 feet above the Syn River. The second Kalil and Najan arrived, Najan ran to the edge and looked down, laughing and rolling on the rocky ground. Kalil smiled at him and shook his head. What he sees in this place, I'll never know! he thought and watched his brother play. "Come on Kalil, tackle me!" Najan said playfully and crouched down, his little tail swaying in midair. Kalil couldn't help but laugh and play along. "You asked for it, bro!" he said and, using one paw, rolled Najan over and held him down. Najan struggled against his brother's firm hold to no avail. "No fair!" Najan said and Kalil let him up, then began to run around with him, both of them laughing and enjoying themselves.

Tychon almost growled in anger as he spied on his two brothers. "You weak fool," he muttered under his breath, his steely glance cast upon Kalil, "I'm doing you a favor by doing this..." Wait for the right moment to strike, then take it, he thought and crouched down, ready to leap out of the shadows at any second. He saw Kalil start running about with Najan and leapt forward, ramming hard into Kalil's torso. Kalil fell to the ground. Kalil looked up and shook his head, shocked by what had happened. By the time he turned to look at Tychon, his brother had already smacked him with his paw, sending his off-guard older brother rolling into a rock.

Kalil hit his head on a rock a few seconds after he'd gotten hit. What the Hell? Kalil thought, his vision fogged slightly, Feels like I just ran into a tree! He shook his head, clearing his vision and saw Tychon standing where he just was. "Tychon..." he started wearily and stood up, "What do you think you're doing?" Tychon grinned malliciously. "Succeeding you, brother," he said coldly and ran up, grabbing the back of Kalil's neck and tossing him to the ground behind him. As Kalil stood up again, he bit into his right paw and rammed into his side, forcing Kalil back to the rocky flooring.

"No!" Kalil shouted as Tychon rammed him back to the ground. He lay sprawled out on the rocky ground, pain coursing through his entire body. He groaned and stood up, a sharp pain in his right paw. He glared at Tychon, anger filling him. Kalil looked around for Najan and saw him standing near the edge. At least Najan's not hurt, he thought and looked back at Tychon just in time to see him grab him by his neck again and toss him towards Najan and the edge. Kalil hit the ground and rolled, hitting Najan and rolling off the side. He barely grabbed the edge with his paws, his claws digging into the rock. He felt a light pain run through his back and looked back to see Najan holding onto him for dear life. Kalil looked below at the rushing Syn River, speeding by.

Struggling, he tried to pull himself up, but he was beaten too badly; he'd lost most of his strength. He glanced up into the eyes of Tychon, who was now standing before him, a deep hate in his brother's eyes. "Tychon... It's not too late..." Kalil said pleadingly, "We won't tell anyone what happened, just help us up! Please brother!" Tychon stared at him for a moment, then grabbed Kalil's paws and put his muzzle to his ear. "Goodbye Kalil..." he whispered evilly and tossed him over the edge. "Noooooooo!" Kalil screamed as he and Najan plummeted down towards their doom. He grabbed Najan with his paws and curled up around him, protecting him from the force of the water. The moment they hit it's surface, they went under, and Kalil felt a heavy pressure on his head and began to black out. Why? he thought and everything went dark.

Tychon laughed wickedly to himself as he watched them fall and heard the splash from below. It was oddly satisfying to his ears. "Rest in peace Kalil and Najan..." he said and ran off back home. He arrived a minute later, skidding to a halt before Niran and Lunera, who were speaking with the Sanarin Beta, fake distress in his eyes. "Mom! Dad! There's been a horrible accident!" he said urgently, "Kalil and Najan! I saw them fall off the cliff! I tried to help, but I was too late, and now they're..." He stopped and faked a sob, his father's eyes widening with worry. "No," he said and sprinted to the cliffside, stopping at the edge. "KALIL!!! NAJAN!!!" he shouted down, his voice echoing down the canyon walls. He took a step back and was about to dive down in a futile attempt to save his sons when the Beta tackled him and held him down. "No sir!" he said, struggling to hold his Alpha back from certain death, "It's too late. I'm sorry, but they're gone..." Niran felt tears come to his eyes and sat down, his head hung in sorrow. Lunera padded up next to him, tears already flowing from her blue eyes. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Niran howled to the twilight sky above. As far as they knew, Kalil and Najan were dead...

I personally enjoyed writing this chapter because it sets the scene for what comes later on in the story. Wanna know what it is? Then keep on reading as I keep posting! Let me know your opinions on this chapter! I really, really want to hear comments!