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 Post subject: Hate of my own
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:54 am 
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it's when aleu, had always blame and said mean things to her sister saba,and saba wanted to get that chance, of her, now aleu comes from her pack, to visit her mother and father, until, saba has a plan: to get rid of her, until a thier mother is about to have puppies soon! how will they stop it? will balto have a idea?OTE: little, bad words, in real life aleu and saba, never blame eachother, they looked each other, so don't worry(saba is going to have a mate in this fic!) (i dont like aleu)

Saba woked up on a warm morning, and yawned, walked outside, and saw her mother and her father, "hi mom, hi dad" saba blue eyes looked down, "mom have you ate too much?" jenna giggled, "no sweetie, i am going to have pups very soon" "wow! mom, i will be so happy for you!" "oh, bye mom, bye dad" when saba turned around and gasped, it was aleu....., "what are you looking at sis?" " your mean old self, that's what i am looking at" aleu walked past her saba, saba said"you are a forgien bitch sister" aleu turned around " don't care, loser!" aleu walked off to her parents,"hi mamma! hi pappa!" Saba turned around and walked away to the forest, aleu ran up to saba, "why are you here sister?" aleu said, "i am going to get rid of you, aleu!" "how can you?" saba growled, and pushed, aleu doawn on her back, "i hated you aleu so long, i wished i could put you away in a box for so long, till your'e gone!" aleu was mad, and bit her sister's leg, OW! aleu said" I HATE YOU MORE!" saba got off and said, "aleu you are a bamler, and a bitch!" saba leaped on her, and grabbed her sister scruff, and threw her, aleu moaned, "poor sister, you blame on me, you would always tell dingo, and you know what, you are just a srawny wolf bone bag!" aleu kept moaning, "oh" Saba thought she was pretening but she wasn't, saba saw a wound on aleu's shoulder, saba sighed, and thought, mmm, i can't leave her here, although i don't like her cause she balme on me often, fine,Saba picked aleu up and by her scruff, and draged her in a cave, aleu woked up, and saw saba, "what are you doing!?" saba expained everything to aleu, "why saba,why, i won't you drag your own, stupid bone bag fur self, into somewhere else?" saba caught a rabbit, "here wolf scranwy, sister, try your own nasty rabbit food!" aleu took a bite, " i guess you will starve saba, cause you only eat dog food," saba had gotten mad " oh yeah, you wished for a home, you ugly yellow eyed bone bag gray wolf!" "fine be that way, you freaken idiot!" saba walked out, until balto came, aleu dashed out " pappa, saba is a mean daugther!" "no! aleu is a piece of a bone bag!" "aleu, saba, please why are you starting this?" saba walked up to her father," "dad, did you know, aleu was blaming me! she told them all the time to dingo!, dingo told me and i was hurt,!" aleu growled and said" shut up, you fat mouth!" "ALEU!" balto was mad at her, "'you two need to stop it now!" balto walked off, "hmp, well big fat stupid mouth saba, looks like you done it!" "aleu you are a idiot, a bitch, fat lier, lazy, yellow eyed bone bag, scranwy, nasty, werid odd, crazy, bone bag wolf!" saba stomped off to town, "oh yeah saba, you are a clumsy, evil, rude, meanie bone bag, stuipid, idiot!" aleu stomped up to the hills, until and stray husky, had peeked thorugh to bushes, and looked on saba, he thought, for a monment, pretty, beautiful, headstorng, and wise, she is perfect for my mate!, and walked after her....... Continued!

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:56 am 
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Oooh!! Very cool! I like it and can't wait for more!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:34 pm 
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Hey! this is cool! Keep it all up!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:32 pm 
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All of your fics sound very similar to mine. What country you from?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:50 am 
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It's a good start, but it would help if it wasn't all bunched together. Try dividing it into paragraphs and starting a new line when someone speaks.


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