Animation Source Forums

Call me crazy but I'm going to do a bunch of job interviews with some members of Balto Source, it was insipired by Nick's 'Interview Me' (Can't wait for mine to be done). First up is my best mate on the forums: Snowboarder Doby.

I'm missing about with a rubber band behind my desk. The rubber band shoots out of my hand and goes flying into the lamp, smashing the bulb!

ME: Oh, bugger!

I begin playing darts, aiming them at the different pictures of Tony Blair (Booo!) and George Bush (No offence, Americans).

ME: (Evilly) Take that, evil Blair! (Throws a dart at his head) Take that, Bush boy! (SBD then enters as the dart flies past her, barely missing her head) Ever heard the word 'knock'?
SBD: Sorry, Zorro! I've finally decided what I want to be!
ME: (Not bothered at all, my voice is dripping with sarcasm) Good for you, my American soul!
SBD: I want to be a.... FIREMAN! (I raise an eyebrow)
ME: Don't you mean: a fire-lady?
SBD: Yes, I just want to do a service in 999, I want to drive a fire-engine.
ME: Miss, you haven't learnt how to drive! I don't think a fire-engine is a good start!
SBD: I'll learn! (She's desperate!)
ME: (Rolling my eyes) In a fire-engine!!?? I'd like to see you do a 3-point turn!
SBD:...
ME: What!?
SBD: You're meant to be supporting me, Zorro! (She starts to whimper)
ME: Oh, for God's sake! (I stand up and pace to the window) Why don't you be a shop assitant.
SBD: (Angry) I beg your pardon!
ME: You'll meet a good husband that way!
SBD: >_<
ME: Oooh! Have I touched a nerve?
SBD: Yes, you bloody well have as you British would say!
ME:...
SBD: Ha, that shut you up!
ME: (Angry) Is it any wonder why I don't put any effort into this...?
SBD: Because you have a big mouth and you don't care about me!
ME:... Now that's not true! And anyway, I'm discussing this here! (There's a long silence)
SBD: (Standing up) Pleasure sharing my job destiny with you, Zorro! (She nears the door)
ME: Job destiny!!?? More like warped dream!! (SBD ignores me and walks out) The things I get to help people, I didn't do anything! (I throw a dart at the picture of a Mona Lisa on the wall) Oooops. Poor De Vinci! (I look sad)

It may not have the same charm as Nick's but I try and I want to do some interviews of my own, sorry Nick!

It's a good start Zorro! I like it so far. Please continue!

That was so funny but, admit it; you can't draw circles!

Next is: WHITEWOLF!

I'm drawing a picture of SBD in a burning fire engine. There's a knock on the door.

ME: Oh, not another one! Come in! (WW enters, I smirk!)
WW: What?
ME: Are you sure you're not Chinese?
WW: Oh shut up, Zorro!
ME: I'm serious!
WW: (Angry) And so am I!
ME: If I were you, I would've just gone along with it!
WW: Can't I just forget about Nick's stupid interview!?
ME: Stupid!!?? I beg to differ, it was a killer! Speaking of killers, you're a killjoy!
WW: (On the verge of a nervous breakdown) Look, let's just get down to the Job Interview! I hope goes well, I saw Doby in tears down the hall! What did you do to her?
ME: She started it!
WW: Oh, sure, Zorro!
ME: (^_^) You believe me?
WW: Sarcasm is a different language to you and some people, isn't it?
ME: (Desperate to get revenge) Okay, so what do you want to be?
WW: I want to be a... Nurse!
ME: (Blank) Errr... WW... You're a guy! There can be no guy nurses unless you're... (I look shocked! And I whisper, very quietly) GAY!
WW: What?
ME:...
WW: O_O
ME:...
WW: ZORRO!!
ME: WHAT!? I'm not in China, you know!
WW: Will you shut up about China!?
ME: Sorry, sorry! Do you mind the sight of blood?
WW: Not that I know of. I've never seen blood!
ME: '~'
WW: What?
ME: You've never seen blood?
WW: No!
ME: What about blood tests? School lessons?
WW: I've never been to school!
ME: Good God! And you come in here expecting to get a job! Go join Doby in the queue of WDV's!
WW:... What?
ME: WDV! It stands for 'Warped Dreams Victims'. There's a simple cure for it!
WW: What?
ME: Tablets!
WW: Oh, that's it! (He stomps towards the door!)
ME: Hey! Where are you going? I'm not finished!
WW: Stuff it, Zorro! (He walks out the door and slams it shut, the lamp falls on my head)
ME: Sheesh, what a grouch! He came here for advice and what do I get? A lamp on my head! Five quid that cost!

Lol, those are funny Zorro...was that last one me? I'm a girl!! Lol, but still funny...if it's not me...still funny.

Oh, crap! Yes, it is meant to be you but you still can't get the Chinese gag off your back! And Doby, there are other way to get attention then saying you can't draw circles!

I don't think I'll ever manage to live that one down , it was very funny though and so was your Job interview .

Why drag WW and Phantom into this? It was YOUR revenge not theirs! Anyway, it's not my fault you're a WDV!

Speaking of drawing, how's my sig coming on?

Lol, funny SBD, really funny, I love these job interviews.

NEXT IS: STEET

I'm crossing WW and SBD off the list when Steet comes in. He rolls his eyes at the Blair/Bush dartboard.

ME: What's your problem?
STEET: (Pointing at the dartboard) That! What is it with you and Blair?
ME: He's spooky! If I had my way, he'd be in a ditch long ago! (Steet raises his eyebrow as he sits down)
STEET: Okay. Zorro, you know my English isn't very good!
ME: (Surprised) You did well on the English mirror of Balto Source! GO, BALTO SOURCE! (I start chanting and bringing out the Union Jack!)
STEET: Zorro! (No reply!) ZORRO!
ME: Sorry! Your English just needs a push in the right direction. Here, tell me what you wanna be.
STEET: A computar tech.
ME: O....K
STEET: What?
ME: Working with a French or English company?
STEET: English, I suppose.
ME: Microsoft or Apple?
STEET: Uh?
ME: Mackintosh?
STEET: ZORRO! I want to work for Boots.
ME: (Confused) That's not a computar company! It's a body shop!
STEET: UGH!
ME: Look, give me an English sentance using the colours green, yellow and pink!
STEET: (Thinking) Let's see! 'I wake up in the morning and hear the phone ring 'Green, green!' (I look shocked) 'I answer it and say 'Yellow?'
ME: You idiot, Steet! I didn't understand a word of that!
STEET: Sorry. I told you I'm no good.
ME: Here we go again!
STEET: What do you mean?
ME: I've had Doby wanting to be a fire-lady when she can't even drive a car and I had WW wanting to be a nurse when she can't speak a word of English because she's Chinese!
WW: (From down the hall) I'M NOT CHINESE! I'VE TOLD YOU AND NICK ENOUGH TIMES!
ME: R-r-r-ight!
STEET: Can you help me or not?
ME: Nope. Balto Source may earn you a couple or quid.
STEET: Quid?
ME: English pounds. Or in your case, Franch francs.
STEET: Racist tramp! (He stomps to the door and is about to close it!)
ME: DON'T SLAM THE... (BANG! The door slams and the newly repaired lamp falls on my head again!)... Door! Not again! There's another five quid down the drain! (I sigh, it's a tough job!)

This is good Zorro. I can't wait to see who's your next victim.....I mean person to be interviewed.

I wanna be next

Okay, LP Fanatic! You asked for it!

I'm playing with a paper airplane, it goes it my eye!

ME: OW! The pain! That's my bad eye too! (Knock, knock! I look worryingly at the wobbling lamp above my head!) Come in, and make it quick! (LP comes in) Oh great!
LP: What?
ME: Another person from Balto Source?
LP: Yeah so?
ME: If you knew the story. You'd be half-way out the door! (There's a silence) Anyway, I wanna have fun!
LP: (Scared) W-what d-did you say?
ME: (Innocently) Me? I didn't say a word? (I snigger evilly) Okay! What do you want to be?
LP: A car salesman!
ME: Oooo! Nice! (I write down notes. LP looks hopeful... But not for long!)
LP: Is that for a company?
ME: Hmm. Yeah! (I hand him the paper) Will you just sigh here and here, and I'll sort these out as soon as possible!
LP: What is it?
ME: As soon as Steet legs it! I'll get all of Balto Source! Forum and all! (I laugh evilly, LP looks freaked out) All you need to do is read it and sigh it!
LP: (Angrily) Get bent! I'm not even going to read it!
ME: (Dangerously) I don't like your tone! It's too loud! If I don't get my way, you're not getting yours!
LP: (Angrily) I beg your pardon!
ME: No job, sneaky! (We hold up fists and growl in each other's faces, SBD comes in with a cup of coffee) ARE YOU STILL HERE!??
SBD: I'm your secertary!
ME: Perfect! My day's getting better! (I take the cup of coffee as LP storms out) BLURGH! (I spit the coffee out) YOU BLOCKHEAD! CAN'T YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TEA AND COFFEE!?? YOU'RE A DISGRACE! YOU'RE A LOSER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! (SBD starts to cry) Fine! See if I care if you cry! (She starts to scream tears) Aw! Just go to the cafe and buy yourself a cuppa, I'll get myself a cup of tea!
SBD: (Tearfully) Really?
ME: Really! (I give her some money)
SBD: (Confused) Err... Zorro. This is only enough for sugar!
ME: Yeah! I can't get any sugar here so get me some from the cafe!
SBD: GRR! (She goes to the door and slams it! I crinch! Nothing happens!)
ME: HA! DIDN'T GET ME THIS TIME! (The lamp falls on my head!) OW! Me and my big mouth!