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 Post subject: A recap, thoughts, and a farewell
PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 12:20 am 
Young pup
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Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:53 pm
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Hello everyone! Moderator Lucario here, this is my final and last (some of you probably think I'm having another one of my moments) post here on AS. The last thing that was keeping me connected to this site, is gone. Not of my doing, either. I am posting this message, as kind of a story /recap on my LONG stay here. All good things must come to an end is ***** true.

December, 2004
So, December 2004. That was the month I watched Balto again for only the second time in my life. I had seen it previously, when I was very young, but something had compelled me to watch it again. I loved it, absolutely loved it, it was one of the best movies I'd ever seen at the time. So, I started researching the serum run, looking for fansites, reading fan fictions. After that, I watched the second one (which was god awful). It did not entice me like the first one did. Nonetheless, my love for the movie continued and I read so many fan fictions. One stays with me, he name was slash_beowulf or something or another. It was my favorite fan fiction and extremely well-written. Then I discovered Rotramel's stories, another fantastic writer, Jenna's Journey was amazingly well-written and just a good read all around.

January, 2005
My love for reading the Balto Fan fictions took me to a website known as, "Balto Central". A small, community based fan-site where other Balto fans would chat and do other fan-related activities. I read some of the stories there, and then discovered the shout box" on the front page. There, I noticed Alpine and Baltohaterburner chatting about Balto. Being the devious, little, stupid brat I was at the time, I decided not to join in on the conversation but rather, start trouble. I joined the site under the name, "Jigsaw" and proceeded to the shoutbox. In the box, I talked about how much I hated the movie, and how much it sucked. How I was a computer genius and wanted to hack the site. Now, that's funny. Sure enough, I got a rise out of both Alpine and BaltohaterBurner. I kept playing with them until my mom made me go to bed, when I woke up in the morning I found myself banned from the website.

February 2005 - June 2005
My need to cause more trouble took over, even though I loved the movie, I was inherently, a brat. I wanted to see more people angry. I surfed the web for more balto fan sties, and joined "TheBaltoLeague" on Yahoo. I didn't cause any trouble there, seeing all the trouble to post messages and what not (I was lazy). So I went to the links section, and there I found Balto Source. I went to the site, read a few stories, and then found the shout box. Once again I joined under the name Jigsaw and caused some trouble in the shout box. Although, this time, I wasn't banned. I came back the next day, went back to the shout box. This day, I wasn't in a particularly good mood, so I just decided to chat. There, I made a few friends. They were Layla, Kodi's Kid, Saltash, Catadventure And Psycho Wolf. Soon, I changed my name to Devil, and created a fake persona. I said I was tall, psychotic, and 26 years old. Of course, some believed it, some didn't. I obtained quite a bit of popularity due to the story. It was after that, I met Raina. My AS "mate" or AS only girlfriend. We talked for a long time and became an extremely popular "couple" for the brash way we acted and for our notorious rule-breaking attitudes.

June 2005-December 2005
This is the month where I would SHOCK Balto Source. Moderators had been named to the site a few months prior. They were Loz, Catadventure, Psychowolf, and Saltash. They solely moderated the shoutbox. Psycho, on the 7th, was going away for military training, and through devious scheming by he and I. HE decided to give me the mod position HE had. Now, back then the mod system was imperfect, it was all based on a URL. If you had the URL to the mod panel, you had mod powers. Easy. Psycho gave me the URL, and I proceeded to be a mod. However, some members did not like the fact I had ILLEGALLY (in this sites eyes) obtained a moderator position. So, I was set-up, accused of "hacking" and banned for six months, when in reality, I did nothing wrong. I banned no one, I didn't do any sort of malicious actions. Raina and I still talked over MSN, she wanted a mod position as well and attempted to obtain hers the truthful and honest way. This eventually lead to us separating. She become an honest member, I was still clinging to my stupid, rule-breaking ways.

December 2005-September 2006
Finally! Unbanned, but WOW were things different. There were new mods, new members, the place had grown so much. A LOT of people recognized me when I returned to the shout box. I was surprised SO many of my friends were still there, it made me incredibly happy. I continued with my notorious ru;e-breaking ways, and was banned/warned MANY more times. Kari, was the mod who banned me the most, we actually ended up becoming friends BECAUSE of the amount of times she had to ban me. We talked constantly in the banned box, and that lead to our friendship (miss you Kari!). Things went pretty smooth from hen on, I was banned on and off (never permanently or longer then my original six months) and only rivaled for most warnings and bans from "Rayj". What a record, right? (HA!) This lead to Rayj and I becoming friends and talking/RPing on a regular basis. Then, I discovered probably my two BEST friends on this site, Alpine and Ara Darkfire. WE had our differences, Alpine and I, and our hate for each other lead to our extremely close friendship. We talked so much! Every day, every night, we RPed every day even. We became so close, the we would explain how boring AS was when the other wasn't around. We even messed with people together, claiming that I was so psycho, I'd track someone down and beat them up (bad idea in hindsight). However, ALL good things come to an end. During my highschool years, I developed a serious health issue, I became addicted to the pain pills that came along with it.

March 2008
This was the month I returned to AS, and this time my goal was to be a productive member of the community. With my drug addiction gone and MOST of my brattiness washed away, I joined the site under the new Pseudo "Lucario". I INSTANTLY went to the shout box and introduced myself under ANOTHER fake persona. This time, as John Myers, a office max manager that lived in Chicago. I Rped in the RP box every day as Lucario, and eventaully, started seeing more and more familiar faces. Soon, I encountered the member "BaltoSeppala", and we went a few rounds in the shout box about the transformers movie. Stupid fight, but still a good memory. Eventually, who would end up becoming the most important person in my life, broke up the fight and threatened us both with warnings (good times, right JC? lol). I ran into my old friends, Alpine and Ara in the RP box, we RPed (they had NO IDEA I was Devil) and continued to add each other on Yahoo Messenger. There, the three of us RPed every night, EVERY night. Things went smoothly from here on, I was turning heads as a decent members of the community, and people took a liking to the "new" me.

February - 2009
Another month that I shocked the AS community. At this point, the site was under attack by "the cracker". A troll who was hacking into mod accounts, banning people, and otherwise just making life miserable for everyone else. Lux, Togo, and the other mods could not stop him. They couldn't even find his identity. Alpine, was the one who requested I (a non-mod) join the search. I took all the details, and that night he attacked, going into Brown Wolf's account. Instantly, I went to action. I PMed Brown's account requesting that the person meet me at a special chat site where we could discuss future plans to terrorize the site and that I had a few secrets of my own. He took the bait. We met on the chat site "chatzy" in which I made the cracker admit his identity, got his IP address, and his future plans. However, the identity of the cracker did not sit well with anyone. I was the victim of an attempted framing from one of the mods who was the cracker's friend, I was internet stalked by another mod, and was victimized for my interference. i was on the verge of being banned, when finally, Togo, the administrator at the time stepped in and made the choice to ban the accused cracker, rather then me. Some were furious, others, were not. I left the site for another while, to let this all settle.

August - 2009
I returned to AS still under the name Lucario, not a lot recognized me this time around. The cracker situation had taken it's toll, and people were moving on from AS. Needless to say, I had a big head for I caught the cracker. A few days after returning, I PMed Steet requesting a mod position, he told me to PM the admin, Togo. So I did, I explained my involvement with the cracker situation, and how I had caught them. He took my request to me added under consideration. Being the snake I was, I added Togo on MSN with the purpose of buttering him up to be a mod. Instead, I developed a good friendship with him. The process went on for months due to my controversial membership status. Togo weighed the pros and cons.

April -2010
After the LONG wait, and all of the chats I had with Togo about how I could help the site. He had finally come to a decision. YES! I was a shoutbox moderator! Finally after all these years, I was a mod on AS (big accomplishment, right? *eyeroll*). I instantly began helping everywhere I could, enforcing rules, being the best mod I could be. I was on day and night, Togo thought highly of me as a mod, but always thought I was up to something because of my past. I became friends with ALL of the mods (apart from a couple). Those were Mightybalto1925, Achala, Togo, Alpine, Ara, Kirada, and some others. It was also during this time, I met Draco again in the shout box, we were discussing the new Robin Hood movie. I was so excited for it, and she was trying to explain how she thought it was going to be dumb. It turned out to be horrible, like she said. Soon after this, the long battle between the then "mod Cadre" and Jerseycaptain's "Posse" brewed when LATTS was opened, JC returned, and Mighty added him as a fanfiction moderator. Togo and I were hot, angry, we didn't like him. We wanted him gone. Soon, thereafter, Togo left, Leaving Draco in charge of AS.

Rest of 2010
Draco, being the new admin (I was furious he had picked her over me) and me being the most productive mod, we began to talk daily. One incident, in which I had tried to stop another troll, forced Draco to remove me from staff. I was furious, I stayed up ALL night waiting for her to sign on MSN so I could snap on her. We talked it over, and I got my position back, it only strengthened our friendship. I continuously pushed her into banning JC, TRYING to get him off staff. I never really had a reason, and it was stupid and chilidish. JC is NOT a bad person, people, he just gets hatred for some reason. He is actually, a very good friend when you obtain his friendship, I had it for a while. Eventually, she instead removed Mighty from the BS staff, whom we had been trying to get rid of as well. This only made things worse, and made the hatred for both sides even more so. It eventually came to the point, where Steet opened the "Tribunal" (Worst. Idea. EVER) in which people voted for people to be banned or removed from staff. It did the opposite, we all (for the time being) buried the hatchet but thanks to the newly hired webmaster, Mighty was removed from everything and JC was banned. This was bad memories, don't want to get into any more of this.

I wish I could type more, but this is really hurting too much. This whole message has actually brought me to tears. On the final day in April, 2013, I lost her. I lost the person I loved more then anything, on my own accord. I was inconsiderate, selfish, and did everything in my power to win her back, I couldn't. On the other hand, I do not feel guilty anymore, I was lead on, and ended up with a broken heart. I was made to believe we had a chance to stay together, but we didn't, we never really did. Now, those feelings of love, have been anger, and hate. I've made my share of horrible mistakes in my stay on this site. I've also had an amazing chapter in my life here. It truly was fantastic. Jerseycaptain, I have to give a shout-out to you, even though I'm a snake and an *******, I have the highest respect for you. I did what I did to keep my girlfriend whom I loved at the time, if I hadn't been in a relationship with her at the time, we would most DEFINITELY still be friends. I guarantee it. To the others, to my old friends, whom I talk to on this site, I bid you farewell and hope that you your path in life takes you down the correct one. I honestly, love everyone on this site, this site has truly added something special to my life, even with its bad memories. I'm leaving, for good, because the one thing keeping me here is gone. My heart is broken, my spirit crushed, and my drive gone. I thank everyone for their friendships, and for just being there (enemy or not). I can hope no one will delete this, lock it, or anything. This isn't a hate message or meant to be spam, it's a recap of my stay here, and a shout-out to everyone I've had the absolute pleasure of meeting. With that, I bid you all farewell! I'll miss you all!

Goodbye everyone!

*DRACO do not edit or lock my topic again, I want people to read this. Thank you*


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 Post subject: Re: A recap, thoughts, and a farewell
PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:49 am 
Famous one
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Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 1873
Location: USA
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At first, when I read this topic, I was angry. I saw what, in my mind, was another case of someone playing the shameless martyr and hoping to gain attention and tons of sympathies, pats on the back, and sappy, overwrought and usually undeserved praises (as has happened on this site innumerable times). I even made a post that I summarily deleted after re-reading the OP's post thoroughly. And I have reconsidered my position on it...to an extent.


Now, I won't pick it apart. I have no intentions of picking nits over the history of this site and the chaotic, flip-flopping nature of social interactions, friendships and "allegiances" within this community (which, by the way, form the basis of ALL the drama here...ALL of it).


Since the OP addressed me several times (directly or indirectly), I have felt the urge and desire to respond to him, and to the community at large:


_Lucario_ wrote:
Soon after this, the long battle between the then "mod Cadre" and Jerseycaptain's "Posse" brewed when LATTS was opened, JC returned, and Mighty added him as a fanfiction moderator. Togo and I were hot, angry, we didn't like him. We wanted him gone. Soon, thereafter, Togo left, Leaving Draco in charge of AS.

Within this small quote is formed nearly the ENTIRE basis for the ongoing bullying and prejudice that is consistently leveled at myself and Mighty simply because we do no different (and exactly that...no different) than any other member -- we express our opinions on things. Except that it's apparently supposed to be something Mighty and I, alone, are not allowed to do. Mighty and I have no relationship beyond the fact that we became friends here and have never, ever turned on each other, abandoned each other, or stabbed the other in the proverbial back. Against all hazards, regardless of the bullying, the white knighting, the flame baits, unfair bans/post deletions/warnings, and the turning of others against us (who know nothing of us otherwise), we have always stood up for each other...as friends. We're too far apart in age for anything else, and have never looked for or desired anything else but to be friends online. Loyal, respectful friends. We've paid a heavy price for that. And it all began with the ugliness referred to in the quote above.

A certain small number of people have (wrongly) seen us as working together to constantly undermine this site and harass newbies or even noobs. And they have convinced others, who have known nothing about us and might never have had any interaction with us (or at least no bad interactions) to fall in line with their way of thinking, and to slam us down constantly too because of it. And it continues to this day.

Everyone talks about how she and I "hurt" other people. How we are insensitive to peoples' feelings. But many of you have witnessed the horrid things said to (and about) her and/or I. Vicious, insensitive and crude things that, if we were to say the same about someone else, we'd suffer far worse consequences than they EVER have. And people wonder why I rail against the lack of justice and fairness (and impartiality) in the management of this site. And I have for several years. Few people listen.

But the situation continues. And it will continue after you're gone, Lucario (if that's what's really going to happen here). It's become a "domino effect", and has taken on a life of its own. Regardless of whether or not one person leaves, or another realizes how stupid it is to carry on this hate-on-Mighty-and-JC thing and then becomes social and friendly with us, there is always someone there to take their place...who has been lured in by the same lying rhetoric that got others there in the first place...that Mighty and I are bad people who are out to hurt others and criticize without cause or reason. I see no end in sight. And it's thanks to that incident referred to above that it probably WILL NEVER END. And the only ones who consistently pay the price are Mighty and I.

_Lucario_ wrote:
I continuously pushed her into banning JC, TRYING to get him off staff. I never really had a reason, and it was stupid and chilidish.

Again...you were one of a group. But it drew in non-moderators and non-staffers who still maintain that I, especially, NEED to be permabanned for some inexplicable reason. They chalk it up to disgust with my opinions and criticisms (and pointed observations). I maintain that they are intimidated by intellectual, high-brow language by someone older than they are ("40 year old on a kid's site"...isn't that the usual insulting flame bait thrown at me, Lucario? I've seen it dozens of times, in the very same language, by several people. It originated in ONE place...and has been picked up and carried along. Even though most people--even those who repeatedly use it--know this is NOT a "kid's site", and that I am NOT the only middle-aged adult in the membership. Not by far). The only response to intellectual, logical, high-brow language? Vitriol. Petty, childish insults. Flame baits. Trolling. Banding together to try and get the "40 year old on a kid's site" banned for ever and ever.

_Lucario_ wrote:
JC is NOT a bad person, people, he just gets hatred for some reason. He is actually, a very good friend when you obtain his friendship, I had it for a while.

Some people who WERE at vicious odds with me, in the past, know this. Because they matured, and they opened up and we had very pleasant and positive exchanges. And realized how stupid the arguments and drama were (even when I argued back and shot back, out of nothing more than a desire to defend myself).

And yet there are still some people who will, at times, say this, then turn right around and deny it all (or say they were "manipulated" by me, or that they were not seeing things clearly). Then they turn right BACK around and say that they were wrong and that I was always a really nice guy if given the chance.

I have dealt with this, in this community (and NOWHERE else on the internet) for years now. I seem to be a special case...apparently. And I have yet to understand why (beyond what I stated earlier).

_Lucario_ wrote:
Eventually, she instead removed Mighty from the BS staff, whom we had been trying to get rid of as well. This only made things worse, and made the hatred for both sides even more so. It eventually came to the point, where Steet opened the "Tribunal" (Worst. Idea. EVER) in which people voted for people to be banned or removed from staff. It did the opposite, we all (for the time being) buried the hatchet but thanks to the newly hired webmaster, Mighty was removed from everything and JC was banned.

That "tribunal" was the most idiotic and wasteful (and one-sided) circus and comedy of errors to ever plague this site. And again, it boggles the mind that I was so railroaded by that process, and that a webmaster, who always promoted himself as a fair arbiter of what was right for his site (and we see how woooonderful a job he's done with that over the years) that there are still a few people on this site who keep saying that I "should never have been taken out of permaban" and have tried very hard to get me right back there. That it so alienated a young teen who, inexplicably, was given an ADMIN position on this site, until she grew so sick of the mess, the drama and the petty, childish violence, that she foreswore the English side altogether, and to this day refuses to have anything do to with it...even though she's still listed as an admin for it.

That tribunal nonsense was the very model of a kangaroo court (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Kangaroo+Court)...and I was, once again, the sacrificial victim. That incident, too, has been a strong catalyst for the ongoing prejudice and flame baiting aimed at me (and at Mighty because she's stood with me against all hazards)...regardless of the potential harm to herself from petty, childish, hateful people.

But that incident alone carries a LOT of bitter dregs for me. A LOT.

_Lucario_ wrote:
Jerseycaptain, I have to give a shout-out to you, even though I'm a snake and an *******, I have the highest respect for you. I did what I did to keep my girlfriend whom I loved at the time, if I hadn't been in a relationship with her at the time, we would most DEFINITELY still be friends. I guarantee it.

I tried to reason with you on that several times when we were still on speaking terms, Lucario. I would say more now, but I think it would simply be pouring salt on a still-open wound you are apparently saddled with right now. So I'll refrain.

If you want me to simply nod and go "oh yeah, I get that", I can't say it's all that easy for me. I've always maintained that friendship transcends a romantic relationship. It needn't (and shouldn't) override or interrupt it. But neither should it be lessened or negated because a romantic partner has issues with that other friend. Ever.

----------

However, I at least appreciate the nod and the decent parting words aimed my way.

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