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Raven the lioness
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Post subject: *UPDATED/NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:42 pm |
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| Famous one |
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Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:15 pm Posts: 1352 Location: In my own world
Gender: Female
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Summary: Kodi starts making fun of Dusty for not catching up with his team's speed. Dusty feels as though she is useless to her team,ends up running away.Kodi doesn't know she ran away until he notices she doesn't show up to their normal meetings as usual. Kirby convinces Kodi to go look for Dusty & bring her back home so that they could keep their job! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun begins to rise as twilight becomes early morning. Snow beings to fall slightly as a team of seven sled dogs, travels onto the snowy wilderness of Nome, Alaska. A male red & white husky who has orange eyes, is now leading his team of friends, throughout the widlerness. His name is Kodi.
Kodi and his team are traveling to White Mountain delieverin mail from Nome.
"K-K-KODI!"A familiar, female voice shouts from behind Kodi, as he kept running like the speed of light.
Kodi doesn't respond as he rstarts running like the wind.But a dark greyish/purple, yet very slim female husky just rolled her voilet eyes while running.
'Why doesn't he ever listen to me?'Dusty thought, with a ponding heart.
"S-S-SLow the hell DOWN!"Dusty shouts, still running.
Kodi finally heard her as he turns around, giving Dusty a ditrty look before speaking.
"N-NO!WE can't slow down NOW cause we have to get their ontime!"Kodi shouts inbetween pants.
Dusty rolled her eyes yet again to his comment.
Kodi almost lost his job last year from being late so many times. That is why he is getting all panicky about being late.
The team arrives at White Moutain as they came to a stop.Mr.Simpson delievers their mail from Nome beforing was the dogs took a break.
"Kodi, you REALLY need to slow down!"Dusty shouts,catching her breath.
Kodi shakes her fur from their early snow, before sitting down.
"Like I said before Dusty,..WE have to get their ontime! Do you really want us to loose our jobs?"Kodi snarled, feeling frustrated.
Dusty rolled her eyes.
"Guys,guys, cool it!We got the mail to White Moutain alright?Let's leave it at that..."A brown fat husky said.
Dusty and Kodi both glares.
Kodi sighed before speaking.
"You know the only reason we are slow is because YOU can't keep up with my awsome speed!"Kodi proudly said as dusty feels her blood boil.
"Okay, that is IT!You don't really give a crap about anyone else but YOU!"Dusty snaps,as she felt her eyes fill up with unshed tears.
Ralph & Kirby shook their heads.
Mr.Simpson walked out of the post office,gets on his sled before Kodi took off with his team.
"MUSH!"He yelled, giving the orders to his dogs as they gladly started running.
Kodi smiled, knowing he is getting faster each time they deliever mail.He ran faster than earlier this morning, forgetting about his argument with Dusty,as Dusty tries to keep up with his speed, as her short/stubby legs, doesn't want to work.
An hour passed by,as Kodi and team, arriaved at Eagle Pass.Kodi have gone on this pass before while racing against the bush plane.Dusty remembers how she almost fell off of the step clif, nearly falling to her death. She looks up at the rugged but narrow mountain pass, with fear starting to raise within her.
"What is wrong,Dusty?"Ralph asked,noticing Dusty becoming nervous.
Dusty shook her head, facing the mountain with a fake, courageous look.
"Nothing is wrong. I can make up that mountain pass without messing up!"She proudly told Ralph.
Ralph smiled.
Kodi arrives at the entrance of Eagle Pass. Kodi starts to going up the mountain as Dusty tries very hard to fallow Kodi without failing. The team makes it up halfway point inside the mountain pass as Dusty starts to slip.
"O-O-Oh no....NO!"Dusty shouts while gripping onto the ground that has no ice or snow.
Ralph and Kirby go over to Dusy's side, to help aid her before falling down the cliff's edge..
Kodi felt the weight of his comrades behind him ,stops running as he looked behind him.
Kodi goes over to help Dusty as Ralph helps Kirby from falling down.
"Are you alight?"Kodi asked Dusty, making sure she made it back up safely..
"Y-Yeah, I am ok..."Dusty pants.
A few hours pass by as Kodi and team reaches to Nome ontime.After Mr.Simpson unties his dogs before going to their post office to deliever their mail from White Moutian,the dogs decide to go to the boiler room.
"I am glad that we made it!"Kodi said with pride.
Ralph smiled as Kirby rolled his eyes then mutters "Show off!..."
Dusty fallows behind Kodi, Kirby and Ralph silently, as she enters the boiler room.
Kodi sits down,near the furnace as Dusty lays down at her usual spot ontop of a self, next to Kirby and Ralph.
"Ugh, I need to start working out more!"Ralph complained, flexing his sore front paws laying down.
Kodi frowns at his team mates.
"This is exactly WHY we need practice!"He snapped.
"Kodi, do you think you are pushing us WAY to hard?"Dusty asked, while feeling sore and annoyed.
Kodi looked at Dusty's direction,giving her a dirty look.
"Can you guys stop IT already?Let's just sit back and relax...."Kirby chimmed in while stretching.
Dusty and Kodi silently glared at each other.
Dusty felt bad about almost making her team loose the job. It didn't help her much since Kodi keeps on making fun of her for being so slow. She tries not to cry as she waits for the dogs to go nap.Her friends soon fell asleep as Dusty gets an idea of not being with her comrades.
'I hope they won't even notice or miss me when I am gone!'She thought before running away.
End of Part one:
_________________ Avatar made by:xSilencexthanks bud! BS Fanart: http://www.animationsource.org/balto/en ... /2776.html My BS images http://www.animationsource.org/balto/en ... /6780.html
Last edited by Raven the lioness on Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Walking Disaster
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Post subject: Re: Nothing else Matters:Part one Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:35 pm |
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| Animation Source is my home! |
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Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2010 9:28 pm Posts: 7941 Location: Where my heart is
Gender: Male
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You should definatley keep writing more!
I really want to find out what happens when Dusty. And what Kodi does when he finds out Dusty runs away.
_________________
 Siggy by the amazing Hunter and avi is Denmark from Humon comics It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
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sleazye15
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Post subject: Re: Nothing else Matters:Part one Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:16 pm |
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| Newcomer |
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Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:24 am Posts: 23
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A point I would like to add is you need to work on keeping everything in one tense. I.E "Kodi and his team are now traveling to White Mountain.They are delievering the mail from Nome to White Mountain's post office." Which is present tense.
Then a little further on. "Mr.Simpson walked out of the post office, puting another bag of mail to be delievered to Nome" Which is past tense.
Another point i would like to make is to keep your sentences ability to stand alone and not run on each other. I.E. "The team arrives at White Moutain as they came to a stop." This sentence is hard to swallow, it's a sentence, and that's about all. Break it in two and throw in some more description.
You have a good story going here, just need to work on fleshing out your ability to bring it from your mind to the minds of others.
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