Animation Source Forums

Alright, here's a really great guide on how to stop bullies from picking on you. I found it on the internet and its really good. It has a very simple way to deal with bullies but explains it in a way so you fully understand it (thus even your subconsious will, which is one of the routes of the problem). I've done this personally and it works, however it does depend on the type of bully but this guide goes into diffrent types, the emotional bully, the physical bully, the cyberbully, ect. Anyway, hope this helps at least one person!

http://www.bullies2buddies.com/?q=node/154

Wow! Great idea Zilla! It'll help me, I know..

Personally, I think if one is bullied, they should defend themselves in a mature manner and then walk away. The bully would hypothetically already be anticipating their victim to take the "high road" and just walk away, and will act on that. They will act upon the assumption that the kid was told to walk away, and may subsequently act on that, which has the possibility of magnifying the victim's hurt. Walking away tells them "I'm running from you because the grownups want me to." Defending oneself and then making a confident exit tells them "I can stand up for myself, I do not have time for you." And I mean defending with words, not with fists. The harmonizing of a persuasive rhetoric and fluid/confident body language may go a long way.

This guide doesn't tell to walk away, it says to simply ignore the fact they're bullying you, not run but not talk to them in anyway because both of those are exactly what they want you to do. Naturally it depends on which bully you're dealing with, this guide says standing up for yourself is the best way to deal with mentally stable physical bullying, such as ones that try to indimadate you, standing up to them and acting like you don't care takes the satisfaction of scaring you. I'll take how it discribes it, imagine a big bully trying to intimadate a little kid and the kid not caring one bit, who looks more foolish? The bully. They pick on you because they think you're weak but in fact, the weaker you look, the more foolish you not caring at all makes the bully look.

Now with emotional bullies, the best way, and I agree with this, is to just ignore the fact they exist, don't walk away but don't acknowladge their existence, because both are what they want you to do, walking makes you a 'coward' to them and defending yourself against their insults gives them the chance to insult you further but doing nothing and ignoring them takes all that away. I've done this and it worked pretty well.

That would have worked if it was in the 19th century. This approach just doesn't work in our society anymore.

The only ones who can stop it are the teachers and the parents to the bullying kids and the parents of the bullied.

The teachers need to be observant and stop bullying before it happens. Collective punishment is the way to go here; if one kid bullies someone, everyone has to pay. Eventually, the class/school will turn on the bully and stop him themselves.

The parents of the bullied must actively work to stop it too.

The parents to the bully need to get their minds together and stop it too. More often than not, the bully's behaviour is caused by bad parenting. An example can be a too strict lifestyle (which can be identified by visiting them while their kids are home; the kids know that their parents won't be as strict with them when there's visitors around, so they steam off by acting like they have no control).

In rare cases, the bullying kid may just be a psychopath (one that does not understand what s/he's doing is evil and cruel, and does them all the time). Psychopathism is medicinally treatable; it's just that a psychopath will never admit that s/he's a psychopath, so s/he can never be treated. (not with the current rules for ethics anyway)

But it is never the bullied kid's fault that s/he is bullied.


In fact, the problem is so ignored that it causes kids to take drastic measures to stop it. For instance, a kid in Norway brought a loaded shotgun to school and nearly killed the guy that bullied him.
Anyone remember the school shootings?

Actuelly, I know from experience that telling on bullies only makes them pick on you more and if its collective punishment, then the one who told on the bully would likely be the target of anger. I must say from personal expierence that unless the bully is truely a psychopath, ignoring them completely is the best solution, I was picked on quite often last year but this year I just ignored them completely. I've still got one or two bullies but nearly all of them have left me alone. For those rare psychopaths, I'm taking martial arts to defend myself if need be. I'm a pascafist by nature, hate fighting, but I also know its best to learn how to defend ones' self if you must. Its definently not the victim's fault but there is things they can do to stop it. A good sense of humor and being able to laugh off the insults (thus making the bully look like a fool), is also a good way to deal with things. I consider the insult 'nerd' a complament, think about it, you're only called a nerd if you're a smart person, how is that an insult?

About the school shooting thing, yes, I've heard of them and in those cases, its the bullies faults, not the shooter, the shooter was tormanted so much they felt that was the only way (the guide I posted a link to makes mention of it).

I spent 12 years of my life being constantly bullied every day, every week, almost every hour >> Even in school breaks and weekends.

Ignoring them absolutely doesn't help. In fact, it makes you a weak target. And when you're a weak target and not being bullied for a longer period of time, you should expect that they have something big in store for you.

I don't really know how old you are (I'm 17 atm), but maybe you'll have a different experience because you live in another country and are in a different age range.
But what I've learned is that you should never think that it's over. Because the chances of that are next to zero.

My advice would really be to go to the police if you are bullied. In most cases, they will be able to help the teachers and parents understand the situation.

To put it bluntly, you can't deal with bullies yourselves, unless you know perfectly well what you are doing. By ignoring them or defending yourself with words, you're only making yourself a weak target. It shows them that you are easily bullied.
By defending yourself physically, you're just doing what the bully wants (and you get in trouble).

The only real way you can deal with modern kids is to actively try to make the teachers and parents understand that you are being bullied and have them deal with it. And giving the bullies a "Don't do it again" will not help. They need to really make it sting.
Expelling them is only a reward in their eyes.


*edit* I do understand where you're coming from, Godzillawolf, but I don't think (nor would I expect) there are any other ways to deal with bullies.

Or,if someone bullies you at a workplace,the best thing to do then is go,and tell the Superintendent,or the Manager.

Well that is a pretty logical explaination. I'm 17 as well and have been dealing with bullies a very long time as well so its likely the reason the same approach doesn't work with both of us is because we live in diffrent countries. I'm guessing you're from Europe somewhere, sweeing as most of the members here not from the states are from there. Over here, most bullies pick on you for the attention you defending yourself draws, at least most of my bullies. That and getting you to defend yourself or be afraid makes them feel dominant over you, an natural instinct. So in my experience, ignoring them works, in yours, a diffrent tactic is needed. There are diffrent varity of bully, its all about which type you have to deal with which approach works. The guide I found even says that the steps don't work on all bullies and its from an American perspective. I once had to deal with a bully that nothing really worked on until I used my intalect against him. This bully was the kind who goofs off all the time in class and doesn't pay attention so I tricked him into betting that he'd never pick on me again if he couldn't go a day without NOT being mean to me. He only wanted a six pack of soda if I lost. He didn't pay attention in class and didn't realize I'd used a double negative and the bet was he had to be mean to me but he though he had to be nice to me so I won and he never picked on me again (I was able to get him sign a contract ) so that worked on that specific bully.

Well, one thing I'll give him; he kept his word. More than what I'd expect =P

But ho ho ho! Amusing story =3 Nicely done! *thumbs up*

That's the thing with bullies, they don't pay attention in class because they're too busy goofing off. So they're easy to fool normally. Its like I told one bully, of a diffrent type than the normal I deal with, 'Keep talking, it reminds me how much smarter I am than you.' I'm not being vain here, this was a bully who didn't pay attention at all in class, he had a 6% average.

When I did that I got punched in the face >:

I knew he was the type of bully that wouldn't, its all about knowing which type you're up against. Most bullies are truely cowards, if you confront them, they'll back off. Some need to be outsmarted, others, just ignored.

Or you face them the traditional manner, good old Southern Chivalry. Some guy insults or psyhically harms you, give him a time and place, and tell him if he is man enough, then he'll go for good old fisticuffs. And if you beat him to a pulp, then he is guarenteed to never mess with you again.

Won't work. The bully will just get his friends and return the favour =/