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Tell me, is this a good fan fic so far? This is just a small section of Part 1, Chapter 1.






Soul Of The Wolf

Part 1, Chapter 1 - The Start



The sky was dark. Only the moon provided any ray of light. It was snowing hard, with racing wind. Leaving the valley barren with ice and snow.

Fell ran through the trees. Power in his legs propelling him forward. Fell is a black wolf with long, soft fur and two blue eyes with a singe of purple in the left eye. He also has a small ring of red around the tip of his tail.

But Fell is not just a regular wolf, he is also a man. People call this creature a werewolf. But unlike most legends of werewolves, he appears as a normal four legged wolf rather than a large, human like monster.

As Fell ran through the forest, he looked around for anything that could serve as a shelter for the night. He also kept an eye out for food, foe he had not eaten for about two days. Life was hard for Fell. Since his human self had reached the age of 14, he had been running. Now, he was on his way back to his hometown. Something was calling to him. Something he could not explain.

Fell stopped, and looked ahead. His eyes turned from blue to green as his ability to see in the dark enhanced. Still, he could see almost nothing except snow fall. A twig snapped behind Fell. Fell did not hesitate. He burst off running with incredible speed. If you were to look at him, he would almost seem to be hovering over the ground. Fell rarely took any chances with anything ever since the incident with his family. Fell suddenly picked up a scent. It was a human sent. He could tell it was a hunter. He scurried around to try and find a place to hide. He found a log big enough for him to squeeze inside.

Half an hour past until Fell saw footsteps outside the log. The hunter stayed for only a few minutes before leaving. Fell was dreadfully tired. The log served as a home for the night as sleep overcame him.




http://baltosource.timduru.org/en/fanfic/Lucas_Laprad/764.html

...to Here it switches from past tense to present, thats something you may want to look at again, the next paragraph is in present tense, whilst the one after is in past tense. The Second from last could do with more detail and less of the use of the word 'Fell'. Yes this is the characters name, but look

could be: Still, he could see almost nothing except snow fall. He heard A twig snapped behind him, and did not hesitate.
Try to use the charecters senses, your story will make more sense, and merge the scentences together to make it not so stop start.
I hope you appreciated the advice...
Sorry If i offended you xD i wanted to help
But the plot was good

Remember, this is only a SMALL section of chapter 1, part 1