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Well, I've recently started another project outside of my current fan fiction about Aastik (which would be Comatose).
CRITIQUES ARE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED! LET ME KNOW WHAT THE FANS, IN YOUR OPINION, WANT. THAT WAY I CAN BETTER IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MY WRITING!
This one is one I've been making for a while -- and have re-written several times. It's the classic Vampire vs. Werewolf novel; with a heavy spin. I won't tell you what this "spin" is -- you'll have to hope that the novel makes it to the shelves. ;D
This is the revised form of Kirada's life; equipped with the new character of Belial (who is a pure-bred/born Vampire, no longer a wolf).
Here you have an excerpt of Chapter One; which is currently unnamed. I am open to suggestions.
"The years passed – I was now eighteen. Belial raised me to be what he called a “true vampire,” at least to his standards. He took good care of me, almost as good as my father. But, no one could ever take his place in my life, nor my mother’s.
I sat in my room, the golden silk of my bedspreads soft under my stone hands. I sighed, looking at the copy of Romeo and Juliet that Belial had bought me for some means of emotional contact with the humans. Whether or not that was the real reason, I didn’t know. I had already read it three times in the week I’d had it. I shook my head, reaching for it. But I stopped. “You know better, Master, than to sneak up on me,” I muttered.
Belial stood in my doorway, leaning on the wooden frame. “Aye, I know this,” he said in that velvet voice. “But we need to talk. Come to my study at midnight, if you can find the time outside of that play.”
That reminded me. I furrowed my brow and spoke, “I wonder why you got it for me, Belial.” I thought about the humans – the breed I came to despise – and winced. “Why do you want me to be connected to them if I have to kill them?”
“It’s so you don’t lose touch of what you were – what you could have been.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
My lips curled around my fangs as I tensed my jaw. “I never had this chance to be ‘human,’ Belial, you know that. I was born this way.”
He was beside me, his cold, stony fingers brushing my cheek. I glared up at him. “You speak of this as if it’s a disease,” he said softly.
I hissed.
His only response was a chuckle. “Why do you take what our God has given to us in such a manner? Is that any way to be grateful?” He clucked his tongue and shook his head. “My teachings seem to be fading you, Kirada,” he cooed.
I glared into his golden eyes, baring my teeth again. “Let bygones be bygones.” After that, I growled low in my throat. “You have taken me from my parents, tried to imprint me, and taught me about this ‘God.’ Tell me, Master, if this God cares so much, why has he cursed us? Why has he led us to betray his own commandments? Thou shalt not kill,” I recited. “Looks like our God is his enemy.” I stood now, breaking from his touch, my hands fisted into balls. My nails dug into my skin, and blood trickled around my knuckles.
Belial’s eyes widened. “Kirada,” he said. This was the first time I heard fear in his voice. “You know that I can kill you – your blood is sweet to me, and other vampires.” He stood, hasting from the room. “When you stop bleeding and have all that cleaned up,” he scolded, his voice calm again. “Come see me.”
I nodded. Acid filled my mouth as I looked down at my hand. I glared at the door, curling my nose as rage filled my soul. My body began to shake violently – I looked around a little, becoming hysterical. “Belial!” I screamed and ran, the whole world shaking around me. My voice echoed in the large mansion as I screamed his name again and again as I ran to his study. I was already there when he opened the door. He saw me shaking, and lofted a brow. “Rage?” He said smoothly.
I hated him for that. I had no idea what was happening, and all he could say was “Rage?” I hissed, and then my eyes swelled with tears. “Belial,” I sobbed. “What’s going on? What’s happening to me?!”
Some of the servants stopped, stared. They exchanged glances before hurrying along.
“Wise,” Belial mumbled in their direction. He cast a worried glance to me – the still shaking me – and touched my arm. Before I could protest, he was kissing me. He yanked my body so close to his it hurt – his stone lips searched mine for some sort of reaction. No reaction he wanted omitted itself from me. I shoved away from him, glaring.
“Belial!” I hissed.
He chuckled, and I reeled in confusion. “You stopped shaking, didn’t you?” He asked in a polite tone. He pocketed his hands. “Midnight, here.”
I glared more. “You’re going to have to answer my questions,” I demanded him. “I’m not exactly fond of this... happening.”
He only nodded. “I will answer in any way I know how,” he told me. He stepped back into his study, shutting the doors in front of him.
I hissed again, noting at that moment that my ‘degree’ of hissing had increased. Frantic over the ‘anger attack,’ I walked back to my room, glaring around."
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