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Here is an excerpt from my new story. I haven't a title for it yet. But i'm a big fan of critisizm, so don't be afraid to tell me what you think.
Balto came around the grey faded corner of an old building in a steady jog. Since Kodi and Dakota had taken off he hadn’t seen or heard from them. But as he rounded the corner and came in sight of the greasy meat filled trash cans behind the butchers he found them. They stood face to face, just inches from each other and arguing up a storm that would have blown Nome into the sea given half a chance.
“I beat you and you know it!” Dakota flaunted with a distinct superiority in his tone. “Why can’t you just accept it?”
“Why can’t I accept it? Because you cheated!” Kodi retorted with a low-down growl. “You got a head start. You knew that I was tired. And once more when we got around the last corner I passed you.”
“Well the finish line was when we could see the garbage.” Dakota said in the same tone.
“Since when!?!” Kodi barked. “When we were little it was always the first one to touch the cans.”
“Well it was my race. I get to make up the rules.”
“That’s no excuse. It’s always been like it was when we were young. We always had the same rules. You can’t just go and make up your own rules when you get passed in the last fifteen feet”
Balto stopped nearby and watched both of them argue.
Dakota’s face took on a look of exaggerated shock. “Kodi, why are you being such a sore looser? Let it go. I won, you lost, deal with it!”
“I’m not going to let it go because you are a lousy cheater.” Kodi growled.
Dakota shook his head in defeat. “Well I’m going to be the bigger dog here and I’m going to let it go and walk away.” Dakota turned away and Kodi watched him in silence. But Dakota wouldn’t let it rest completely. “Even though I rightfully won.”
“That’s it!” Kodi barked. With one leap Kodi flew onto Dakota’s back and bit down on the back of his neck, dragging Dakota violently to his side where he let go. Dakota looked up at Kodi in shock.
“So you want to fight about it huh?” With lightning quickness Dakota came to his feet and threw both his paws into Kodi’s side. Kodi flew sideways into a fence post and lurched back up at Dakota instantly.
For a moment the fight broke into complete chaos. There was too much happening from one moment to the next. Kodi would thrash and throw up his paws and snap his teeth then Dakota would thrash and throw up his paws and snap his teeth. Their movements flew up a flurry of grass and dirt and mud which covered each of them, the fence, the cans, and even Balto who watched their brutal brawl with mild amusement.
In a previous time Balto would have broken the fight up. But he had learned that this was their way of fixing things, and if he broke it up they would only hold a grudge against each other and the fight would happen some other time in private. Balto knew that neither of them really wanted to hurt the other, and he also knew that in a few seconds one of them would give up and concede in exhaustion.
Finally from the hurricane of hair, growling, teeth, mud, and grass Dakota rolled out and lay on his back panting. Kodi stood over him waiting for the next move looking equally exhausted. Both of them had their hair ruffled up and covered in mud and grass, but neither of them had any blood flowing which was good.
“You going to … admit defeat now …?” Kodi said though his breath.
Dakota looked up at Kodi and for a moment the thought of continuing the fight lingered in his eyes, but at last he began to chuckle and the chuckle worked its way into a full blown laugh. So hard he laughed that Dakota could hardly move except to curl around sideways, close his eyes, and struggle to breathe and laugh at the same time.
Kodi looked triumphantly at his father over his beaten enemy. “I won.” He said with a tone that said he was even shocked at his own victory.
“Good job son.” Balto said indifferently as he pushed past them both towards an open can that gave away the most intoxicating smell of food he had ever let grace his nostrils. “Now if both of you are done, I’d like to get something to eat.” He said putting his front paws up on the edge of the can and taking in all the smells he could handle from within. “You two want to join? Smells good.” They both nodded their heads as they pulled themselves up off the ground.
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