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I love to write. Stories, poetry, even writing reviews enthralls me. I love writing about animals especially, and writing from their point of views. However, I don't want my writing to be written off as 'babyish' just because the animals talk. I don't want it to fall into that stereotype.
Now you're probably wondering why this isn't in the fan fiction section (although mods can lock it/move it as they wish - I'll understand). And the fact is, I personally think it doesn't quite fit in there. Whilst I might write about wolves or dogs, more often than not I like to go 'off-topic.' And some of the stories and poetry I'll write might not fit in with the 'fan fiction' genre. I've decided to post all my creative pieces here, instead of making a new thread for every single story/poem I write.

So this is my first of what should be many more stories, poetry, or just bits and pieces of writing. (although I won't post any reviews here!) I would really appreciate feedback on my writing (that's why I created this thread) and I hope that this thread is kept alive.

So here's my new novel (I've gone for something big). It's called The Last Place on Earth. It's (supposed to be) a sad story, although I've tried not to make it too depressing.
I will give you the first chapter, but before that I'd like to explain a few things. (you can skip this if you want, but it might make the story a little clearer.)
I've been planning this since May and I spent the summer holidays writing it.
I wrote this to convey my thoughts and feelings on certain aspects. I also made hyenas the main characters. I feel that they do not deserve their bad rap, especially the role they got in The Lion King. Destroyed the Pridelands indeed!
I also wrote this to raise the awareness of a little-known animal that is critically endangered. I'm talking about a canid called the Ethiopian Wolf.
Also known as the Simien Jackal, the Ethiopian wolf is a close relative of the Grey Wolf and the Coyote, despite its foxy look. Here's a piccy:

(If you want to learn more about them, go here: http://www.bornfree.org.uk/animals/ethiopian-wolves/)

I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here's the first chapter, enjoy!


Chapter 1 - Stormy night

'So desert creatures and hyenas will live there, and there the owl will dwell. It will never again be inhabited or lived in from generation to generation.'

Jeremiah 39:40

Night was over the savannah, a night that was dark and bitter. Lightening tore through the sky, the irregular, zigzag shape of the bolts scarred the clouds. The rain beat down mercilessly upon the rocky outcrop that towered over the surrounding grassland. And inside this little outcrop, was a cave. And as you might’ve guessed, there were creatures living inside this cave. These creatures were hyenas. Spotted hyenas.
They were a medium sized clan, around fifty animals (some clans contained one hundred animals) and right now everyone was indoors, sheltering from the rain. All was quiet, apart from the faint roar of thunder.
Too quiet.
For these poor animals were trapped in the hollow rut of which is anguish. A beloved comrade, second in command Jamala, was gravely ill. She had recently given birth to two fine healthy pups, her second litter, but it had taken its toll on her and now she lay weak and helpless in the grip of a fever. She could even be dying.
The matriarch of the clan, Akida, a large grey hyena looked on at the rest of her people from a high perch where a bit rock stuck out. They watched in wretched silence at the sick hyena that was gasping for breath.
Akida’s son, Jasisi, was frightened.
“Mother, what’s wrong with Auntie Jamala?” he whimpered. “She doesn’t look too good. Is she dying?”
“I don’t know dear,” Akida replied softly. “I don’t know. But don’t worry. The Big One will watch over us. The Big One will look after her, if things come to the worst.”
"Is He really watching us, right now?" Jasisi asked.
"Yes He is. He really is. And your grandmother will be watching too. And so will your father." Akida paused.
"And so will Parcius," she sighed.
"Parcius?" Jasisi looked up at his mother with a mystified expression. "Who's Parcius. Is he a hyena?"
"No, he's not a hyena," Akida answered. "He was a wolf."
"A wolf?" Jasisi was perplexed. "Aren't they those grey furry creatures that live in those forests, way up north, in a different land?"
"Well, I guess he's not really a wolf then," his mother smiled. "He was an animal known as an Ethiopian wolf. He was a slender creature, more like fox. His fur was a fiery auburn and his eyes were as golden as the hot midday sun. The top half of his tail was as white as the moon, and the bottom half was as black as coal. He's a far cry from the wild beasts of the north. But he was as savage as a wolf, as swift as a wolf, and most of all, he could howl like a wolf."
She sighed again.
"But," she continued,. "There's no more Ethiopian wolves. All of them. Dead. Gone. But not forgotten."
"Akida!" One male hyena rushed towards her. "Jamala's getting worse. She's sweating badly, and her fever is increasing."
"Get some water and use it to cool her down," Akida answered. "And believe me, water is not that hard to find." She managed a brave smile.
"Mother, it's too stuffy in here," said Jasisi. "Please may I go outside. The rain and the storm has died down."
"Yes, you may." replied Akida. "And I think I will join you."
The two hyenas left the cave and climbed to the top of the outcrop, overlooking the savannah, now dimly lit by the moon, partially hidden by clouds.
In the distance, a herd of elephants lumbered along the tall grasses. The crickets started to chirp. A far away lion roared. As rain slowed to a gentle patter, the African night came alive.
"Now my dear Jasisi," Akida spoke to her son. "You are no longer a tiny pup. Your black coat is fading, and soon you'll have a fine set of spots. You are the oldest of all the pups. I think it is time that you should hear a great story, one that nearly every hyena in the clan knows. That is because they were there when this great story took place. I was there. That's right, it's no fairy tale. It was bitterly real. I'm going to tell you the story of Parcius."
Jasisi nestled down, and listened. His mother began her story.

Good. It's a good read and that's all that matters.


Anthropomorphism doesn't instantly classify something as childish. The plot determines that, and this doesn't look like a children's read.


Minor error here.


Make sure to keep things consistent through your story. (Because I see you're writing it in parts.) And where some sentences seem to drag on, don't be hesitant to use periods and semicolons.

Hyenas are pretty cool creatures. Early humans scavengers in Africa had to compete with hyenas for food. We normally lost.

Thanks Lennox. I've corrected the mistake! Your words are really encouraging.

Chapter 2 - feedback please.

Chapter 2 - The Roof of Africa

"Our story begins in the year 2157 AD," said Akida. "And it started in a place far away from here. This place was called the Ethiopian Highlands. It was the roof of Africa, so high, and so majestic. The mountains used to be surrounded by lush plains. Sadly, as the human populations increased, all the beautiful wildlife of the mountains was trapped in the high peaks.
The valleys below were dominated by tall buildings, part of the huge cities where life was always metallic and sterile. The race of humans hardly ever used their feet, their minds or their natural instincts. They had replaced it all with technology.
Cold hard technology.
For humans, anything lush, green, natural and wholesome was regarded as an uncivilised waste of space that was there to be destroyed. But even though the humans had their so-called better than nature technology, I tell you, it is us wild beasts that prevail over them, because we knew how to survive from the very beginning. We knew we could rely on our teeth, our claws, our strength and our courageous hearts. We didn't need technology, because we had nature on our side.
Despite all the civilisation and all the unnatural mechanical aspects that dominated the valley, high up in the mountains there were still places that couldn't be tamed.
The cliffs and peaks were home to many different creatures - ibex, gelada baboons, mole rats and countless birds.
But of all the weird and wonderful beasts that roamed the highlands, not one was as elegant or as majestic as the Ethiopian Wolf. I do not need to describe them, for I'm quite sure I've already told you. Like the grey wolves from your fairy tales, Ethiopian wolves live in family groups called packs. Everyone had their place in the pack and everyone had to take turns at certain duties - hunting and caring for the pups, for example. The Ethiopian wolves were a mighty race, truly kings of the mountains.

Parcius lived in a small pack on a wide flat plateau that overlooked the valley of of metal, or human civilisation. There was plenty of prey and fresh water from little streams that flowed throughout the hills. Higher, there were the cloud forests that were great for games of hide and seek. Because they lived here, they were known as the Plateau Pack.
Parcius was a low-ranking wolf who was often the one who was made to look after the pups or go scouting for food. He didn't mind it, he told me because he loved to please others. He felt that he truly did belong.
Parcius was close to his older brother, Gerald. They would often go scouting together, and Gerald was like another father to him. It was Gerald who taught him how hunt. It was Gerald who played games with him in the cloud forests. It was Gerald who listened to his thoughts and feelings. Gerald had always been there for him. Parcius' parents (the alpha pair) didn't neglect him - they loved him just as much as the rest of their children. They didn't have time to look after Parcius however - because they were either too busy running the pack or preparing for the next litter of pups.
Parcius was around two years old when it happened. He told me how he could remember it so vividly - the day before it happened.
One evening, Parcius was just coming back with Gerald after an unsuccessful hunt.
"I can never catch those mole rats," he groaned. "They're just too fast. They poke their heads out of their burrows and stare at you. You pounce, and they disappear - as quick as lightening. It's so humiliating"
"Don't worry," chuckled Gerald. "You'll improve as you grow older
The alpha pair, Mel and Zawadi were deeply worried. They had hardly touched their meal of ibex meat.
"It's those humans," Zawadi said. "They're arguing again. We don't know why, and we don't want to know why. But it has become so fierce and so violent, that they might start dropping atomic bombs."
"Atomic bombs?!" Mel exclaimed. "What on earth are they?"
"I don't know," Zawadi replied. "A beta male from the River Pack told me. He says that they're dangerous, and can come without warning. But if they do, they'll destroy everything in the surrounding 100 miles. And they'll come at any time, any day."
Parcius listened to them, and a sudden chill went up his spine. He often heard about humans warring against each other, and destroying each other. But he had never thought that something concerning humans would extend into the natural wilderness and claim the lives of innocent and oblivious animals.
"So, are we doomed?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"Perhaps," his mother answered. "But it will be quick. You won't feel a thing."
Parcius went pale and rigid with fear. He suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore.
He was still worrying about it when the moon was out. He stared at his reflection in a small fast-flowing stream. Gerald saw him, and padded over to where his little brother was sitting.
"You're worried about the situation too, aren't you," he smiled. "Don't worry, it's probably just a false alarm again. Remember when you were a tiny pup? The humans were going to war, but it all blew over without us being being destroyed. Us Ethiopian wolves are the strongest creatures in the world. We are swift animals, and cunning and brave. No one can ever destroy us. It's never happened, and it never will happen."
"But what if this time is different?" Parcius replied. "What will we do? Where will we run? Where will we hide? These mountains are the only home we have."
"Don't worry brother," Gerald said heartily. "No matter what happens, we'll always be together. We will always remain a pack. I promise it."

The next few days were spent in total denial. None of the pack believed they were in danger. They just put it out of their minds. There was food that had to caught, water that had to be drank and pups that had to be cared for. Life went on as normal.
But it was about to change forever.

When describing the human race, maybe you could toss in a few details or specifics. Since you are writing about an event in the future, it could be anything.

This paragraph:
[The next few days were spent in total denial. None of the pack believed they were in danger. They just put it out of their minds. There was food that had to caught, water that had to be drank and pups that had to be cared for. Life went on as normal.
But it was about to change forever.]

I understand the point your trying to convey; it's just that the whole thing is worded awkwardly. I would spend a little more time on this part. This paragraph is important to the plot, it builds suspense and begins the climax.

Keep writing. Make sure to just let it flow and worry about editing later.

Thanks for your support Lennox I shall continue:

Chapter 3 - Gerald

It was noon, a few days later. Parcius was out scouting for food. He was looking for mole rats, his personal favourite. He spotted a collection of burrows, and a tiny furry head poking out of one of them.
Parcius started to creep, very slowly and deliberately towards his quarry. He pounced, and just missed. Another mole rat stuck its head out of another burrow. Parcius was quick, but not quick enough. He then spotted another, and missed it. And then another, and another, and another. It seemed the little rodents found pleasure in teasing him. Eventually, our poor wolf friend gave up.
"***** you rodents!" he yelled. "***** you!"
He wandered off sulking. His parents were expecting food - they were hoping to sire a new litter of pups. Parcius thought of last year's pups - all fluffy and bouncy. He remebered all the fun times he had playing with them and nuturing them. There were games of hide and seek in the forests, and stargazing late at night. Of course, now they were teenagers and wanted nothing to do with him.
He was lost in thought when he heard a sharp cry of pain. Parcius followed the sound. Maybe there was a dying animal that he could kill for food? He ran gracefully across the plain. He neared the edge of the plateau, where there was a steep drop. It overlooked the city.
He stopped abruptly. He saw Gerald near the edge.
His brother was being savaged by a rabid dog. It had probably come from one of the farms on the hillside.
Gerald was doing his best to fight it, but he had been badly hurt. Parcius leapt forward and rammed into the dog, sinking his teeth into it's skin. The dog yelped in pain and surprise. It wrenched itself out of his jaws, turned on him and Parcius narrowly missed being bitten. Parcius knew that once you were bitten by a dog that had or was carrying rabies, there was only one outcome. Death.
The dog pounced again. Parcius leapt backwards and hit the dog with his paw, sending it flying. It was back on its feet in an instance. It charged again and jumped onto Parcius' back, gripping him with its claws. In an instant Parcius heaved and slammed the dog onto the ground, as hard as he could manage. It rolled away, closer to the cliff edge. It got to its feet and stared at his enemy for a moment, snarling and growling with its jaws dripping with Gerald's blood. Parcius panted, wondering how this fight would end. He hadn't managed to be bitten so far.
The dog tensed its body, ready to attack. He was like a coiled spring.
It leapt into a charage, running at top speed with his jaws aimed at his opponent's throat. But Parcius was ready for it. He bounded towards the dog with such speed and determination that it stopped the savage creature in its tracks. But before it could turn and run, the wolf's jaws enclosed around its neck in a strong vice-like grip.
Now the dog could no longer bite Parcius, but that didn't mean it was going to give up. It swiped upwards with its paw and slashed repeatedly at the wolf's belly, his long sharp claws digging into the soft skin.
Parcius knew he couldn't hold for much longer. He summoned up as much strength as he could. Still gripping its neck, Parcius yanked himself upwards, and let go of the dog. The dog was tossed through the air. It landed at the cliff edge and rolled over the side. It grabbed at the rock with his claws and managed to keep a grip. It was now hanging at the cliff edge, a vast and steep drop below. Despite its best efforts to keep a hold on the rock, it slipped and fell to its death below.
It was a moment before Parcius finally let go of any bloodlust he had left.
"Gerald?" he whispered. "Gerald, are you alright? Brother?"
The injured wolf groaned.
"Parcius," he sighed softly. "What you did was very brave. But I'm afraid there's nothing you can do can save me. The best thing to do is to save yourself now."
"Why?" Parcius asked. "What's wrong?"
"The bomb!" Gerald gasped. "You were right. I listened to the wind, and to the cry of the birds. It's coming, and soon. Find yourself some shelter, quick!"
"I'm not leaving without you!" Parcius started to cry. "I'll take you with me!"
"No brother," Gerald's voice was getting weaker. "I'm done for. I'd rather die quickly in the explosion that die slowly in the grip of rabies. The dog has hurt me badly. There's no hope for me now. Go now!"
Parcius told me many times about how painful it was to leave his mentor, his teacher and his friend behind. He could never forget the look in his brother's eyes.

Large steel planes, as black as death came roaring over the city and mountains.
Many humans had already fled the city, for others it was too late. The streets were blocked with vehicles, the tall dark buildings looming over them more than ever.
Parcius ran for his life, the sound of the engines deafening him. He stumbled and fell into a deep cavern in the ground, and he crouched low in extreme terror.
The largest plane opened up, and let down a huge dark shape, a contraption that had been designed to kill by the thousands. It fell somewhat gracefully towards the ground. Every second that passed was one second closer to total destruction.
It struck home - the city, and the sound of the explosion was more terrifying and more murderous than the loudest of lions roaring. Never had Parcius, or me for that matter, had ever experienced anything like it. Yes Jasisi, I was there, and so were many others. But I'll tell you more later.
The blast swept over the city and the mountains, killing everything in its path. Trees, buildings and roads were reduced to rubble, dust and hollow shells. A bridge, clogged with cars, started to shudder and sway, before finally collapsing and crushing the life out of those on it. The victims had no time to scream, for, as Zawadi had said - it was quick. Very quick.
It was like a monster, sweeping mercilessly over the land, sweeping away innocent lives. It was terrible, and I still find it hard to talk about to this day. It was just too awful for words. I wonder what the humans' leaders would have though when they needlessly extinguished innocent lives because of their greed and lust for power.

Parcius didn't know how long he stayed down in the cavern. He was half-paralyzed with fear. Eventually, he got to his feet and reluctantly stepped outside.
The once-lush and green plateau was now a dark musty brown landscape. No trees, no snow at the peaks, no sounds of wolves howling or the harsh cry of the eagle.
Everything was dead. All dead. All gone. Time itself stood still, for the whole took a deep breath for Parcius.
He wondered through his homeland, sobbing and howling. He called in vain for other wolves. But soon at last, he realised it.

He was the last Ethiopian wolf on Earth."

That’s Wonderful Canis Lupus! 10/10, you describe things so well and with lots of words - I lack that.

And I don’t think talking animal’s is babyish-not in the way you write it.

Also good hyenas-in most stories they are bad.
I really think this could get published!
I love your story and can’t wait for the next chapter.


Sheba

Thank you Sheba. I shall continue:

Chapter 4 - The laboratory

"Is that the end?" asked Jasisi as his mother paused for a drink of water.
"Oh no dear," Akida replied. "This is just the beginning. Parcius told me of his plight so many times that I could almost imagine myself there with him."
Before she could continue, Akida realized she had gathered a little audience of hyenas, including several young pups. She smiled.
"Maybe I should save the rest of the story for another night," she said. "I'm sure these pups would prefer a fairy tale."
"Oh no, please don't stop!," one begged. "We need to know what happens."
Akida smiled, and then continued her story.

"Parcius, with his heart breaking, left his homeland behind. He wandered through the destroyed city. The tall dark buildings were little more than skeletons now. The sky was the colour of blood. The sun shone, relentlessly scorching the dying land.
He followed a deserted road out of the city, and eventually wondered into a desolate wilderness. The was no food and little water. The ground was dry, cracked and parched. There were few trees, many of them lifeless and as black as charcoal. Day went by, and turned into a dark night, only to be greeted by a rusty half-hearted sunrise. Another musty day went by, then a night, and then another day. In fact, he spent a week on his own. He could have died had Fate not intervened.

Now dear Jasisi, you already know that I was not born here. You know that me, Jamala, Fisi, Vesper and many others did not come from here at all. We came from a laboratory, in the city. It was a huge laboratory, full of all sorts of animals. There were dogs, cats, rabbits and mice, as well as wild animals such as leopards and us spotted hyenas.
Living in the laboratory had its advantages - all the animals, including us were vaccinated against diseases such as rabies and distemper. We were taught to catch our own food - mice and rabbits mostly. We lived in a small, but not comfortless outside enclosure. But the good things stop there.
The humans would conduct the most horrible and most painful experiments on us, too awful to even mention. Going through such an experiment was hazy and dreamlike, more like a living nightmare really. But you couldn't just close your eyes and then just wake up in your warm cosy bed. This was real, as horrific as it seemed. Like the dropping of the bomb, we don't know why the humans did it, and we don't want to know why. There are some questions that are best left unanswered. But in an ironic twist of fate, it was these experiments that saved our lives. That, and the Big One was watching over us.
I've heard that an atomic bomb is the most dangerous bomb of all. That's because it sends out something that we call the Death Spirit. The Death Spirit is a nasty creature that posseses you, makes you feel sick and makes your fur fall out. It kills you very slowly. If the blast of the bomb didn't kill you, then the Death Spirit did. You might be dying and you'd never realise it until it's too late.
We don't know how, but the humans altered us so that we, amongst all the other animals at the laboratory, were immune to the effects of the Death Spirit. It had worked successfully on us, maybe it could have worked for the humans too. But it was too late for the humans, because the bomb destroyed them before any more research could be done.
When the blast destroyed the laboratory, all the animals had been safely put in shelters. The rest of the building became a pile of rubble. Our human handlers were dead. All the animals managed to escape from their prison, including us. Outside of bars our instincts took over. We would stay with our own kind and kill or flee from the other creatures. The leopards prowled the night, killing anything in their path. The dogs became savage and formed an enormous pack. And us hyenas became ferocious and formed a clan, with me as the matriach.
Once we and all the other animals escaped the city, we were out in the vast, dry and cracked wilderness, with little water. Our hunting abilities improved. We went after the mice, the rabbits and anything else we could find. We would spend days searching for food but we would only take what we needed, never more, never less.
But we didn't want to stay in a dying land forever. For you see, all of us felt something calling us, urging us on. We don't know what it was exactly, but it told us to keep going. We were sure that wherever it lead us to, the prey would be fat and the water plentiful. So we followed it, and the further we went, the stronger it came. We felt it in our teeth, our claws and our strength. We knew it was our instincts telling us where to go. It was the Call of the Wild, if you like. But it was this call that would save us all. We smell it in the wind, and we could here it in our dreams - the lion roaring, the call of elephants, the long grass rustling. We could feel it in our dreams too. We felt the calm gentle breeze of the starry night, and the searing heat of the sun, and the cool relief of the waterhole. And we were determine to make our dreams come true.

Many days had passed since we'd escaped. The clan was resting near some sandy rock caves. It was midday and the sun beat down mercilessly. Vesper and his gang of three young scruffy males were out looking for scraps. Jamala was playing with her litter of three pups, Kianga, Tara and the runt of the litter, Khanya. He's a slick young male hyena now, but he was your age Jasisi when all this happened to him. He could hardly comprehend the circumstances, although neither could any of us, to be fair.
I was on the look out for enemies that might try and kill the pups. I saw four hyenas approaching the den, and I knew them to be Vespers little gang. And by the looks of things, they'd brought some prey with them too.
It was this slender fox-like creature, but the size of wolf. And no, Jasisi, you don't need to guess what or who it was. It was Parcius.

Chapter 5 - The giant fox

We had found a small stream of water, and we splashed some on the unconcious Parcius, and he woke up.
"What kind of creature are you?" I asked him. "We may have revived you, but only out of shear curiousity. We are not your friends. Speak now, or we'll kill you." We knew now, from bitter experience, that any animal that wasn't a hyena was either an enemy or prey.
As he came round, Parcius realised who and what was speaking to him. He shot to his feet and growled, albeit weakly. He was in the company of hyenas. He'd heard many tales of hyenas. His mother had told him about how they were stupid cowardly scavengers that killed for pleasure. Like people, the Ethiopian wolves had only one emotion for hyenas. Hate.
He couldn't stay on his feet for long. He collapsed with exhuastion. He lay as an undignified bag of skin on the ground.
"C'mon Akida, I'm hungry," moaned Vesper. "Whatever it is, it's not going to make it. Let me put it out of its misery."
When I looked at the pitiful sight of the suffering animal, I was beginning to agree with Vesper. But then I saw the look in Jamala's eyes.
"We can't kill it," she said. "It's such as handsome creature. If we give it some meat and some more water, then maybe it won't die. Perhaps we could make an ally out of it, whatever it is. Besides, if we eat it, it could be dangerous. It could be poisonous."
"That thing? Poisonous?!" Vesper laughed. "It looks like a giant fox. How could a fox be poisonous? Does it have poisoned fangs?"
"Excuse me?" Parcius spoke up. We gasped in surprise. This 'giant fox,' could talk.
"Are you saying that I'm a giant fox?" His voice sounded angry. "For your information, I'm an Ethiopian Wolf, and the last of my kind. My name is Parcius - it means 'scar.' I am certainly not a fox! And Iam not poisonous. How dare you say that! I'm out of here - there's no use staying with you filthy dim-witted, cowardly scavengers!"
The rest of clan looked shocked. My face twisted into a snarl.
"How dare you," I growled. "We are not dim-witted - we're smarter than those idiots you call lions. We are not cowards - we look out for each other. We hardly ever scavenge - we are born hunters. Take your lies somewhere else you shameful brute!"
One of the hyenas had just returned from hunting. I grabbed the prey from his jaws - a dead rat, and threw it at Parcius.
"There, take it and leave us!" I barked. "You can eat that - but don't thank us. Things are only this way because for one bloody moment I actually felt sorry for you! Go!"
Parcius cowered, his ears flattened back. He started to whimper.
"I'm sorry," his eyes started to water. "It's just that, I'm so alone. Please don't make me leave. Please. I've nowhere to go. I'm sorry I offended you. It's just that, my mother told me..." His voice trailed off into crying.
Jamala looked at me with begging eyes. And so was Fisi, and Nuka, and Cassus, and all of the pups. In fact, almost all of the clan were saying the same thing, but with their eyes. Only Vesper and his little gang still had the look of bloodlust in their eyes.
I looked down at the wolf, still sobbing in extreme pain.
"Hey, hey it's okay," I whispered gently in his ears. "We forgive you. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't yell at the last of the Ethiopians Wolves. It's obvious you have a lot of pain in your heart. Stay with us, and become a hyena - part of my clan, my people."
He stopped crying at looked up at me. His face transformed into a smile.
"Really?" he asked. "You mean that you really will accept me as one of your own."
"Look around you and see," I answered.
He looked around and saw all the looks of approval on the hyenas' faces. Only Vesper was sulking.

So Parcius joined up with us, as one of the clan. We called him Parky, for short. Whilst he was with us, his hunting abilities improved. Fate was being very generous to him, and us too.
He told us of his old life back in the highlands. He told us of his mother, father, Gerald and the rest of the Plateau pack. He vividly described how the pack would hunt, of all the wildlife, of playing hide-and-seek in the cloud forests, of stargazing and playing in the summer heat. He conjured up images of frosty mornings, brightly coloured flowers and troops of Gelada baboons - with up to one hundred animals.
He told us of how he fought the rabid dog, of how he left his brother behind, and how he narrowly escaped from certain death. Whilst he was telling us, his eyes filled with tears. It was so hard for him to accept what had happened.
Then we would tell him of our great escape, and how we heard the call of the wild, and that it would lead us to a beautiful place with water and plenty of prey. We didn't know where this place was, just that it was somewhere down south. But we could all feel it, and that we had this strong feel of determination deep down - that we would find it.
In time, Parky became like a brother to us all. He would help take care of the pups, look for food and watch out for danger.
The wilderness was a very dangerous place. It was crawling with the animals from the laboratory. Some, like the rabbits and the rats (which thrived for some reason) were harmless and even edible. Others, such as the leopards and the dogs, were much more dangerous. Leopards could kill small hyenas, such as young males and pups. The dogs were a huge pack that could easily rip you to shreds. But sometimes, a lone dog or a puppy could easily become our dinner. It might sound ruthless Jasisi, but we had no choice. It's life. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. That's how it has always been, and how it always will be.

I'ts getting exciting now-cant wiai forthe next bit Canis Lupus!

Sheba

Chapter 6 - The dogs

Parcius had been with us for several weeks now. Food had become scarce. The rats had become too clever, and the rabbits too swift. Khanya, the smallest pup, was so thin that we feared he might die. We were so hungry we were reduced to eating anything we could find, be it tufts of coarse grass to insects. Despite being very undernourishing, it was alright for us hyenas to eat it, because we could eat almost anything - but for Parcius, a strict meat eater, life was particulary hard.
One day the sun was bright and fiery and we all sweltered in the midday heat.
We found a large ditch in the ground. It offered us some relief and we collapsed with exhaustion. Only pups Kianga and Tara were still full of beans, always have done and always will be. They told us that they were going to go off exploring. I told that it was too dangerous because no-one would be there to watch them. They groaned and sat down with the rest of us. I lay down on the cracked ground, lost in thought.
I wondered if our journey was at an end, and that we would die here, of starvation. Maybe the pull inside us was just a cruel trick, and that our dreams of a new life of plenty would remain mere dreams.
"Wake up Akida," a voice whispered. I woke with a start. I must have dozed off.
"Wake up, quickly!" It was Parcius, and his voice was urgent.
"What is it Parky?" I mumbled, half-heartedly (I'd lost heart due to the hopelessness of the situation).
"Five dogs are heading this way!" he said, with a shaky voice. "Two of Jamala's pups are missing!"
I shot to my feet.
"What!" I shouted. "Missing!"
Now, dear Jasisi, in our world, there are two kinds of dog. There are the kind that are gentle and loyal to the humans that own them. They're the good kind.
Then there's the other kind of dog, the savage brute that is dangerous to all animals - even humans. Five dogs could easily kill a full grown hyena - so killing the pups would be as easy as snapping a twig. They're the bad kind.
As you might've guessed, these dogs were the bad kind - and they were the ones from the laboratory. They must have followed our scent.
"You wake the others up, and I'll go and find the pups!" I yelled.
With that, I jumped out of the ditch. Immediately, I smelt danger. I followed the stench. It was leading to a hill of earth. I galloped across the dry earth - my feet pounding the dust with an urgent yet smooth rhythm. I heard a scream. I wheeled around the hill to see Kianga - in the jaws of one of the dogs.
I screamed in anger and went straight for the dog. I was hoping for it to drop the pup and run. It did drop the pup, but then it it ran straight at me, with a growl in its throat.
It was a huge dog - must've been a male. He was very strong and fearless.
In the struggle that followed, he managed to pin me down. Then the other four smaller dogs rushed in and started ripping at me. I tried to fight back, but there were too many of them. The large male bit down on my neck, in an attempt to suffocate me. The other dogs copied him. I started choking. I tried to cry out for help but I couldn't.
I thought I was going to die - but I didn't.
I was starting to give in to the dogs and accept my fate. I couldn't breathe at all.
Suddenly, a large orange shape flew above me and knocked the large dog sideways. The other dogs jumped back in surprise - releasing my neck. I leapt out the way.
Parcius had saved me, and now he was fighting this huge dog. As I came to my senses, I saw that the rest of the clan was here.
The four smaller dogs turned to face the clan. They had no chance.
I went and helped Parcius - for he was losing the fight. The dog had him pinned to ground, with his jaws around the wolf's neck. I pounced at the dog, and gripped his back with my claws and sunk my teeth in.
A hyena's jaws are the strongest of any mammal. They can bite through bone as though it were a matchstick.
The dog howled in pain. He barked angrily and ran around like a mad thing - trying desperately to shake me off.
Parcius got to his feet and started to chase the dog. He managed to bite the tail.
This proved too much for the poor dog. Now, he tried to flee, still trying to shake me off. I let go, knowing there was no need for any more fighting. The battle had been won. The large male fled with three of the other dogs.
I sat down and inspected myself. I was torn and bleeding in some areas. Luckily, I was not badly hurt. Parcius lay panting on the ground. I helped him to his feet.
"You did it Parky!" I shouted joyfully. "How could I ever thank you! You saved my life, and possibly that of the pups too. Wait a minute, that reminds me! Where's Kianga. I hope he's alright!"
The pup was fine, and Tara had been hiding. Kianga was not badly hurt - just very shocked. Jamala, their mother, was too relieved to scold them (she would do so later!)
"Wow, that was really brave!" Vesper congratulated both of us. "And guess what we're having for dinner!"
It turned out that during the fight one of the dogs was killed. It might not have sounded particulary appetising, but when you are close to starvation - it tasted heavenly. The clan would not go hungry tonight.

With full bellies, we were able to travel for the rest of the day. Travelling during the day was easier, because at night the pups were tired and frankly, so were we.
As the sun set over Africa, we lay underneath a palm tree. It was the first tree we saw since the bomb. We knew now that we had travelled very far and we were out of the danger zones. We were now in a parched desert.
We all held a sort of mini celebration for Parcius. We felt he deserved a lot of praise for his bravery. He talked with all the hyenas and he played with the pups, but I noticed that something was not right about him. He seemed somewhat distant and reluctant. I went over to him.
"You seem quiet," I said. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I just have this really bad headache. It'll get better in the morning, I'm sure of it. But I also feel a little nauseous. I think I'll go to sleep now - I'm very tired. It should go away by tommorrow, I hope."
So he went off to sleep, and we soon joined him.
That night, I had a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare.

I was walking through a lush green paradise. I was filled with joy - we must have found it at last! I caught sight of a plump gazelle. I went for it, and it ran so slowly - yet I ran so fast. I snapped at its side and it fell down dead.
I opened my jaws, ready to take huge bite, when the ground rumbled beneath me. The sky went dark.
Everything around me crumbled. The trees and the grass withered and died. They crumbled into dust. I looked down at my meal - only to see a pile of musty old bones.
I ran for my life. I didn't want to become dust. But even the ground crumbled beneath me, and I was falling through space. Then I saw the bomb.
That dark, forbidding shape fell towards me, the shape of death itself. And out of the bomb came a ghastly white figure, with eyes that glowed with hatred. It was the Death Spirit. It swept swiftly towards my open mouth - I was screaming. But then I saw that it wasn't interested in me any longer.
Falling alongside me, was an Ethiopian Wolf. The Death Spirit entered the wolf's body. It started to scream...

I woke up suddenly. I looked around. Parcius was gone.

It's getting even more exciting, Canis Lupus cant wait for more <-me-excited!

Sheba

Thanks Sheba.

Chapter 7 - The night

It was a cool and calm night - still retaining some of the warmth of the day. I sniffed around, looking for Parky's scent. I then heard a long drawn out moan. It was the most beautiful, yet most melancholy sound I'd ever heard. Parcius was howling, and to the great full moon at that.
He howled again, sending chills up my spine. I followed the sound, and found Parcius standing on top of a rocky outcrop. I listened to him howl again, and again. I noticed that the howls were forming into a song. It was like the song of a swan perhaps, but maybe even more beautiful and heartbreaking.
These were his exact words, for they stuck in my mind.

I see no-one else before my sight
Why did they leave the deep dark night?
Only the moon as white as a pearl
Shines upon this dying world.

My home is where my heart is,
A paradise lush and green.
A place of delight, lost to the night
A paradise that's never been seen.

The night is so warm, yet I'm so cold
And I feel lost and all alone.
Please gentle night, take me away,
Take me all the way back home.

The sun will rise over this vast land
And take us out of the dark.
But the warm loving rays cannot shine
Upon the darkness in my heart.

The song held me in a trance like state, and I felt like crying when it finished. To think, that this song comes from the last Ethiopian wolf. I may never hear it again.
I went up to him, speechless at first. He turned at looked at me. I found my voice.
"Are you alright?" I asked. "Is anything bothering you?"
"No, it's just...Gerald," Parcius managed to stutter. " I miss him, and all my family. I miss my homeland. I had a dream, where I returned back home, and everything was back to normal. I really believed it. I was so disappointed when I woke up. I knew that if I went back, I would see nothing. All dead. All gone."
"They're only truly dead if you forget them," I said. "If you remember them, they'll always be alive, in spirit."
"Do you think that there is life after death?" Parcius asked. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat.
"I do," I replied. "All of us hyenas believe that there is a power out there greater than us, greater than the world. We believe there is the Big One. We don't know who or what He is - we don't if it's even a He. But we know that He watches over us, and He works in our hearts and in our instincts. I'm sure Gerald is with Him. Not just up there but down here, in our hearts, our minds and our instincts. Your family is with Him too. And so's my parents and all that have died. They are in his care. And one day you will be, too."
He smiled at me, his tears subsiding. He went back to join the clan, and left me under the moon. I just sat there, thinking about what I said.
Soon, the sun's rays started to show upon the horizon. I got up to go and recoup some sleep. Before I left, I noticed something. Several tufts of ginger hair lay where Parcius had sat. Then I remembered how he complained of a headache and nausea.

Even though it was a warm morning, I felt cold all over, for an icy dread had settled upon my heart.

Parcus's howl song, and his dream remind me of Wolfsong-i may post a bit more of the story sometime-but no promises.
you inspire me to do more of wolfsong Keep up the great work, on your own story.

Sheba

Thanks for your support Sheba. I really do hope you update Wolfsong. If you need any help with it, you can always PM me!

Chapter 8 - Denial

I didn't know what to tell Parcius. How could I break the news the one who put his trust in us? How was I supposed to tell him that he was very slowly dying, and that we were powerless to help him? I was sure that the Death Spirit has possessed him. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
The morning was fresh and calm. The sun stood out in the pale blue sky.
The clan was waking up, and I had to help some of the hyenas to their feet. I soon found Parcius.
"How are you feeling," I asked nervously.
"I feel slightly better from having a rest," he replied. "You really helped me last night, so thank you. Are you alright? You seem a little upset."
I started to feel uncomfortable.
"I need to tell you something," I said slowly and uneasily. "You see..."
"Dogs! Heading this way! It's the entire pack!" Jamala came running back to us, with a look of terror on her face.
I ran up to her, and not far behind her, was the dog pack - around fifty animals strong I'd say. At the front was the huge male I'd fought earlier. We were heavily outnumbered. The clan looked at me, their leader, in desperation.
"Run!" I cried. It was all I could really do for them. "Pick up the pups and run for your lives!" No sooner had I said it, we bolted across the dry cracked earth.
We ran as swift as wind, but the dogs were hot on our heals. The dogs were determined to kill us all. I looked back and saw the huge male with a huge smug look on his face. Loutish brute. I snarled.
We ran for hours, but the dogs weren't giving up. They barked noisily with the excitement of tearing up our flesh.
We came a long steep slope, littered with scree. We struggled upwards. I let everyone else go first. When the rest of the clan was safely at the top, the dogs were only a couple of metres away. The huge male leapt at me but I was too quick for him.
I scrambled up the slope and whilst I was at it I pushed the rocks with my feet, making them loose.
The rocks started to fall and the dogs scattered whimpering in terror. For now, they had been thwarted.
I finally reached the top. Before anyone could say anything, I ushered them on. The dogs will try to climb up the slope sooner or later, so we had to hurry.
All thoughts of the Death Spirit were gone for now, because all I was thinking of was saving my clan.

Later on that day, we managed to find ourselves a small oasis. There were a few palm trees and a small waterhole. We were quick to quench our thirst.
The adults rested in the shade whilst the pups played in the sunshine. Parcius was with them - brought back old memories, he said. He rolled over with the three pups clinging at his sides. Such a heartwarming scene.
I smiled, but I quickly turned away because I winced. I remembered that he was dying, he he still didn't know it. I had to tell him now. I couldn't put it off any longer.
"Parcius!" I called. "Please come with me. I need to talk to you."
We walked off together. I felt like a traitor. Here was a lively spirit that was overjoyed after playing with the pups. And I was going to crush that joy, maybe forever.
"I've been having these really bad headaches," Parcius said to me. "My fur has been falling out too, and I feel nauseous. Do you have any idea what's wrong?"
"Yes," I stuttered. "I do. That's what I want to talk about."
"Go on then, I'm all ears!" he chuckled. I forced a weak smile.
"Alright," I began. I hung my head. "You see these atomic bombs. You know how they can kill quickly? Well, they can also kill slowly, too. In fact, they kill so slowly you might not even notice it until it's too late. It's because atomic bombs contain the Death Spirit. We don't what it is, but it's deadly. If the blast doesn't kill you, the Death Spirit will. Us hyenas are alright, because we were genetically modified against it.But you, being a wild animal of the mountains, have no immunity, and there's nothing that can be done. And the Death Spirit has entered you, and you display the symptons very clearly. Parcius, I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid that you are dying."
I looked up expecting to see a face of absolute ruin. But I was wrong.
"What on earth are you talking about?" he said. "I'm not dying."
With that, he ran off to join the pups. He played a game of tag with them, and acted as though nothing had happened. He was in denial. I was in denial too, sort of. Parcius was so chatty, playful and full of life. How could such a lively spirit wither and die?
I tried to force the thoughts out of my head, but that just made things worse.
Fisi found me struggling with myself.
"Is everything alright Akida?" he asked. "You seem rather disturbed."
"Well, it's just that..." I started.
"Yes?"
"Parcius is dying."
And so I told him of how the Death Spirit had entered him and was making him sick. I told Fisi of how Parcius was denying everything.
Fisi stood there, just shocked. Like me, he was also in some sort of denial. He knew that how impossible it seemed for Parcius to die. But Fisi was a hyena of sense, and he knew that come what may, the clan must try to hold together.