Animation Source Forums

I need feedback on this... Should I continue?

Diary of An Angel: Breakaway
By Phantom White Wolf(TWP)

(C) Sydney, Shadow, Jennifer, Teresa, Storm, Trixie, Penny, Maria, Madsa, and Maddie are copyrighted to me. You cannot use them in anywhere without my permission.

Prologue

"Whoo, hoo!No school!" Sydney cried. She pranced around the room.
Sydney was an eight week old puppy.. She had purple eyes and a very bright red coat.
"Yea! No school!" the other pups shouted.
"Sydney? Come here right now!" a voice replied from the kitchen.
Sydney stopped prancing and tucked her tail between her legs and slowly walked toward the kitchen.
A red\white furred dog named Jenna was waiting.
"Mom, i'm sorry. I ..." Sydney started.
"Sydney stop exciting the rest of the pups. Go outside." Jenna said sternly.
"Okay." Sydney replied sadly. She walked across the kitchen. Then turned around. Sydney was met with her mother's glare. She looked away and bounded through the door...



Febuary 21

Today, I went outside beacuse I excited the rest pups. Anyway, there was no school!! I'm in the end first grade. There are only 6 grades. Then you have to do some kind of service to the town. Me, peresonally, I would like to be a lead dog for a team.
Well, I wrote down everything that happened when I went outside. Hopefully, I didn't forget anything...


I bounded outside. I looked left, and right. No friends. Not even Shadow was out.
Shadow was a black malumute. His father is Steele and his mother is this other malumute from Siberia named Trixie. he had so much fur, he could survive in like, 100 degrees below zero.
Anyways, I walked torward I Ice Hill. On the way I spotted pups playing in the Febuary snow. They all called out, "Come play, Sydney!"
I quickly told all of them I didn't want to. They shrugged and went back to playing.
I smiled, I was the most popular pup in school.
I was so interested in my thoughts that I forgot to look where I was going.

Crash!
I slid straight into Teresa. Oh, and did I say I was the most popular pup in school? I mean I am the second most popular pup in school.
Teresa, is a black husky with green eys. She's the most popular pup in school. It's really only because she has a pedigree and I don't. But who cares? I mean, doesn't personality matter?
"Hey, watch out," Teresa said harshly, shacking the snow from her coat, "you're getting my coat all wet."
Then she looked closer at me.
"Wait, your Sydney right?" Teresa asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Penny, Storm, report!" Teresa shouted.
Two pups, one a Samoyed, the other, a malumute scrambled over.
The samoyed wsa Storm, She was completely white. She was so kind, but Teresa makes her tease pups and stuff like that.
Penny on the other hand is pure evil. She has a gleaming brown coat. I think she can't stand anyone happy. Once, she stuffed poor Max into the toliet! He didn't do anything to her! I know what you are thinking, stay away from that pup. And i agree with you, except that she isn't scary at all.
"Reporting mam!" Storm and Penny shouted.
"Penny, Storm, look it's Sydney. Don't go near her, she'll bite." Teresa said mockingly.
I flatted my ears and growled.
"Look, she's going to fight us. She can't hurt a fly!!" Penny said.
With that I leaped up on Teresa, surprising her. I bit her shoulder. Teresa swung around and grabbed me in the middle of my body. I yelped, then I let go. She swung me around and around until suddenly she let go. I flew into the air and landed into a deep ditch.
"Well, that will teach you a lesson!" Teresa shouted.
Storm and Penny laughed.
They walked away, their voices dieing of in the distance.
I looked at myself. I saw blood, splattered on the snow. I had atleast five cuts on my body. My eyes closed, exhausted.


"Sydney? Sydney?" a voice called.
I woke to the sound of my father's voice.
"Thank goodness," my mother said.
" Mom? Dad?" I said weakly.
" Yes sweetie, you had quite a fall," Jenna said worriedly.
I struggled to get up. My father pushed me down.
"Rest," Balto said sternly.
"Okay," I said, yawning.
I pretended to fall asleep and wrote this very long diary entry.
I can't wait until tomorrow! It's the last day of first grade!

Good night moon,

Sydney

Two months later...

Sydney quickly walked to school with her pack on her back.
She spotted Penny, Storm, and Teresa. Recalling what they did to her two months ago, took a different route.
"Sydney!" a voice called behind her.
Sydney turned to see her two best friends in the world, Madsa and Maddie.
Madsa was a Alaskan Husky. She had a gleaming red coat. Madsa was slim, and delightful company.
Maddie was a husky\malumute mix. Her fur coat was brown and she had dancing blue eyes.
"What's up dudes?" Sydney asked.
" Have you gotten a human yet?" Maddie asked.
"No, but i'm getting one this afternoon!" Sydney replied.
They entered the boiler room together, not knowing what would happen in six months that would split them up forever…