Oy! I have been wondering something. I'm writing a novel about a bounty hunter and all this other stuff, but I was wondering if some of you guys wanted to help me out? Just give me some reviews about the charries and the summary if you will. Oh, and you don't have to read the character descriptions, if you don't want to. As a warning, the summary kinda sucks so don't be too harsh about that, k? Thanks!
Name:Lucious 'Deathcarrier' Bellarenza
Alias: L.B.
Louie
Deathcarrier
Gender: male
Age: 26 years
Hieght: 6' 2"
Wieght: 170 lbs.- slender w/ muscle (no fat caused by fast metabolism)
Hair color: jet black
eye color: turquiose blue
skin color: white
personality: Split Personality
-good side: generous, easy going, friendly, caring, helpful, polite, innocent, loving, loyal
-bad side: cruel, perverted, menacing, egotistical, terrible, angry, merciless, scary, disrespecful
Clothes: Lucious wears an odd variety of clothing:
- His glasses are green tinted with black structures, and odd designs for the structure
- His tranch coat and hat are a navy blue color
- His boots are combat boots that are light wieght with metal plates that help him scale rock formations quickly, they're about knee high
- His under armor isn't bullet proof, but t's fire and acid resistant, it is skin tight and keeps his body's temperature regulated
- His belt is always slanted no matter what, it has a gun holster for Neglect on the left side, but also on the right
- Lucious wears a necklace that is strung of many different colored pearls with two scarlett red fangs and a cross that is an attachment of some kind that is roped in rose vines
Occupation: Bounty Hunter
Biggest Bounty: First bounty, Conrade Morgan- worth $170,000,000,000 mio (mio is a form of money)
Weapons of Choice:
- Neglect: A fully automatic, 24 millimeter, no human can handle, black handgun. It has green rose vines painted along the barrell and a roses blossum onthe end, it was named Neglect by Lucious because he was neglected as a child
- HollowSin: When the cross around Lucious's neck is attached to Neglect, it transforms into HollowSin. A gun that looks like it rose out of the flames of Hell, it's built of an armored bone type material. It doesn't use real bullets, everytime it absorbs the soul of dead humans, it ges six spiritual bullet rounds. Given to him by a dieing shamon from his town, The Hellblade Cross glowed a vibrant gold light, but as Lucious's mother died and his father beat him, it turned darker and darker until it turned black. It still glows a midnight black as it hangs around his neck.
Birthdate: Friday, October 13
Mother: Angel Bellarenza
Father: Rohan Bellarenza
Siblngs: none
Friends (as a kid): Oakherth, Natalie
Friends (as an adult): DeNota, Lilli, Natalie
Blood type: AB
Sign: Libra
Zodiac: Tiger
Songs that describe him:
- The Hell Song- Sum 41
- Animal I have Become-Three Days Grace
- Pain- Three Days Grace
- Headstrong- Trapt
- Rain- Breaking Benjamin
- Angels- Within Temptations
- Memories- Within Temptations
- Keep 'em Seperated- Offspring
- This is your life- Switchfoot
- Through the Glass- Stone Sour
Bounty: After his first three bounties, Lucious's head was priced at $5,000,000 mio. After his fifth bounty, it was raised to $700,000,000 mio. Finally it shot up to what it is now, at $300,000,000,000. Ranking out of the top 20 (20 bring the highest) at number 13. He's one of the best, not to mention he got that bounty when he was only 19 years old.
Background: Always smiling. Always generous. Always happy. When he was younger, Lucious seemed like any other normal boy, except when you got him ticked. After he snapped, only the ones closest to him could help him regain conciousness. Lucious's mother, Angel, had a low immune system, and got sick very easily. But this time was different. The doctor soon said that she wouldn't make it, that she was going to die. Lucious's father, Rohan, broke down in a teary rage and in that instant, threw his son against the wall and continuously beat him. Screaming it was his fault. His father was put into a mental facility, while Lucious went to an orphanage. He was never adopted though, but he made one friend. Her name was Natalie Kashniko, a skinny, red haired beauty that helped him along the way. Overtime, he also made friends with Oakherth, a filly in the farmyard. Soon he began to overcome his past and he could call Oakherth to him through song. When he was 15, he was able to leave, so he did. Hugging Natalie a goodbye, he took Oakherth with him and left. Over those next 11 years, he'd become a grave threat.
Deciding to leave his past behind him, Lucious found comfort handling weaponry. After obtaining Neglect, he started hunting at the age of 16. He was soon claimed unbeatable, a heartless, soulless man who earned headlines in the News as the "No Mercy Sinner." No cared about him himself, only that he was a threat and he needed to be stopped. And whoever did it would be rich.
Hobbies: Cooking, staying in shape, staying out of trouble, hiding his identity from Suvillians, and, of course, hunting bounties.
Name: Adam DeNota
Alias: Adam
DeNota
Gender: male
Age: 27 yaers
Hieght: 6' 0"
Wieght: 160 lbs. (muscular)
Hair color: dark brown
Eye color: redish-brown
Skin color: white
personality: Dependable, helpful, wise-cracking, paranoid, confused at times, loyal, funny, and athletic
Birthdate: December 25
Sign:
Zodiac: Dragon
Mother: Rose DeNota
Father: Leif DeNota
Siblings: Alexis DeNota
Friends: Koro
Occupation: Bounty Hunter/Doctor (sort of, went to school for it but never proceeded into getting a job)
Biggest Bounty: Orgon Campi- at $125,000,000,000
Blood type: O
Bounty: $150,000,000,000 at number 10 on the top 20 list
Name: Lillian McKeon
Alias: Lilli
Midnight Sythe
Gender: Female
Age: 24 years
Hieght: 5' 8"
Wieght: 145 lbs. (for her hieght)
Hair color: blonde, knee length
Eye color: green
Skin color: white
personality: Bubbly, annoying, smart, tactical, friendly, confused at times, forseer (sense danger)
Birthdate: May 12
Sign: Taurus
Zodiac: Ram
Mother: Una McKeon
Father: Lykiro McKeon
Siblings: Mathew McKeon
Max McKeon
Nim McKeon
Friends: Nira, gal
Occupation: Bounty Hunter/ Thief
Biggest Bounty: Onru Kownik- $97,000,000,000
Blood type: B
Bounty: $80,000,000,000 at number 9
Name: Natalie Kashniko
Alias: Natalie
Nataline
Gender: Female
Age: 26 years
Hieght: 5' 9"
Wieght: 149 lbs. (from hieght)
Hair color: Red
Eye color: Goldish
Skin color: white
personality: Athletic, generous, loyal to friends, broken-hearted, unknowing, hopefilled, individual
Birthdate: June 19
Sign: Gemini
Zodiac: cow
Mother: deceased
Father: deceased
Siblings: Robert Kashniko
Friends: Oakherth, Sarge, Lilli, Lucious, Gal
Occupation: Weapons designer/expert
Blood type: A positive
Bounty: none, protected by superior govermant offcials
Summary
Traveling the open, sandy desert is an Oni -bounty hunter- named Lucious Bellarenza, a top bounty himslelf whose looking to even a score and leave his past behind him.It gave him no virtue and he didn't look back anyway, there were no
valued memories in his past. The only valued thing he wanted was revenge. The sight of his greatest enemy thrown to the ground and being pelted with his own bullets.
With three hundered billion mio on his head, Lucious's enemy is not the only one in danger. He fights to survive the harsh wolrd around him and to not get filled with lead bullets by suvillians of the passing towns. Follow this unfitted gunslinger on his way to restore hope, tranquility and sanity in this undenying, fiction novel.
Well, there we go. I do think the summary sucks, but I can't think of a better one at the moment
. So please review whattcha got!
Thanks a bunch!
