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What's a Better Title? (read poast first)
Balto and Kodi: an Adventure of Father and Son 37%  37%  [ 7 ]
Balto's Secret Past and Steel's Revenge 32%  32%  [ 6 ]
Other... 32%  32%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 19
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 Post subject: My First Balto FanFic...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:07 pm 
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(Sorry about the second poll--I couldn't figure out how to get rid of the first one in rp :oops: )

I'm writing a FanFic for the site and wanted some oppinions from the other members. The basic plot is as follows:

Balto and Kodi get back from the mail run. When they get back to Nome, they find out from the other dogs in town that Steele has dognapped Jenna and threatens to kill her if Balto doesn' leave his home forever...and never see his family again. As Balto reveals his secret past to his son, he finds out that Steele has gathered quite a number of followers and is hiding in a cave near Shishmaref..almost 200 miles away! Will Balto and Kodi be able to Rescue Jenna and get rid of Steele?

What do you think?

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Last edited by Mystic_Wolf on Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:22 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:12 pm 
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I cant wait for the stroy

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:20 pm 
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dingowolf wrote:
I cant wait for the stroy


what title do you think i should use?

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:24 pm 
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use this one

Balto and Kodi: an Adventure of Father and Son

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Once Man and Dragon were one.
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Dragon chose Wind and Fire.

Grhaeh Lit made the Avi thanks


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:51 pm 
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Hmm... This is along the lines of my story, Dark Eyes, Cold Heart. Well, not really, but Steele with followers kinda clicked in my mind.
The reason for this is that in the prequel to DE, CH (A New Life), Steele gains control of a powerful wolf pack, and intends to use it to his advantage. His mind is set on Jenna.
Cool, parrallel universes!

Oh, for the title, I think maybe you should just do Steele's Revenge. That was the original title of Dark Eyes, Cold Heart, so I like it. :wink:

Good Luck on the fanfic!
I'm so happy that more people are writing! YAY! :cheers:
Can't wait for the first part.

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My five latest videos. Enjoy!
The Change - Balto
Two Worlds - Balto and Jenna
Wake Up America - Balto
Long Black Train - Balto
Balto - Go the Distance


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:31 pm 
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I've just finnised the prologue and chapter one. I havn't decided on what to call it yet (all though--i kind of like 'Steele's Revenge'), but I'll pick one when there's enough poll submissions.

Prologue


Balto woke up at the crack of dawn. He was doing his first mai run with his son, Kodi, and his team. He gently nuzzled Jenna until she woke up.
“Jenna...Jenna, wake up.”
“Nnnng—what...” Jenna said in a groggy voice as she woke up.
“I’m leaving on the mail run with Kodi today, remember?”
“Oh,” Jenna said as she jumped out of the bed she and Balto shared, “I almost forgot! When are you leaving?”
“I’m going to meet Kodi at the dog barn right now. You want to come?” Balto already knew Jenna’s answer.
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”
“I thought so.” Balto said as he went through the doggy door and headed in the direction of the barn. Jenna hastily followed him.
“So,” She said as they tuned on to main Street, “How long will you be gone?”
“Well, we’ll be going to Applegate, then to Anchorage, and then back—so about three or four days if we’re lucky.” Balto replied. Up the road they saw Kodi waiting in front of the barn. He ran up to them as they approached the entrance.
“Hey, Dad!” He said happily. “Hi, Mom! How are you?”
“I’m great.” Jenna told her son. “And you?”
“Never been better! So, Dad—are you ready for your first run with the team?”
“You know it!” Balto responded. “I’ve been looking forward to it for a week!” They walked inside the barn to see Samuel Koltraine, the new musher, strapping the mail sack to the sled. The rest of the team was already harnessed and eating a quick breakfast.
“Well, well, well...” Said Samuel as he approached them. “If it isn’t my lead dogs—and Jenna too. Great timing...You’re just in time for breakfast!” He filled three dishes with food and set them out for Balto, Jenna, and Kodi. After they were done eating, Samuel hooked them up in the head of the team.
“Balto,” Jenna said, “please be careful. And that goes for you too, Kodi.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ve done this loads of times. And Dad isn’t exactly a rookie either.”
“I know, but anything could happen.”
“Don’t worry, Jen.” Balto said reassuringly. “We’ll be careful.” He licked Jenna’s nose and she did likewise.
“C’mon! Let’s get going, team!” Samuel yelled.
“Well, see you in a few days.” Balto said as he and Kodi led the team out of the barn. Jenna watched them until they were out of site.
‘Please be careful, Balto.’ And she headed back to Rosie’s house.


Chapter 1


It was getting dark as Jenna walked down Main Street. It was two days after Balto and Kodi left on the mail run and she had just come back from the old mill, where all the dogs in Nome gathered to chat and gossip. She just had a conversation with Star and Kaltag about something that hadn’t been talked about in over three years—Steele.

They had been talking about how Balto was doing the mail run again, and how they were getting back from the nearby town of Applegate tomorrow.
“Hey,” Kaltag said, “I heard a rumor that Steele’s stay near Applegate.” The mill was so deathly quiet Jenna swore she could hear it.
“So what?” Jenna said, anger sneaking into her voice. “Steele’s gone and he’s never coming back. I don’t care if he’s in Applegate or Juneau—I’d rather not talk about it.” Then she left and headed back to her house.

‘How could Kaltag talk about Steele in front of me like that!?’ Jenna thought as she turned down an alley to take a shortcut. ‘He knows I hate Steele. I can never forgive him for what he did!’

About there and a half years ago, a terrible sickness invaded the small town of Nome, Alaska. There was a dog team that was supposed to bring medicine so that the quarantined patients could be treated. Steele was the lead dog on the team. He was adored by the whole town. He was the fastest sled dog that Nome had ever seen. However, as popular as he was, he had a heart as cold as ice. Jenna was kind of new in town, She had moved from Shishmaref, Alaska with her family a few weeks ago. Steele immediately took to her; And since Steele was the ‘lead dog’she became the most popular female in Nome. She could tell right away that Steele liked her and she sort of liked him as well. That is until she met Balto.

Balto was a half wolf that was picked on by everyone...everyone except Jenna. She was his only friend. One night, Jenna got word that Rosie—her owner—was quarantined. She was looking in the window trying to listen to what the doctor was saying, but she couldn’t hear. Then, Balto showed up and said he knew a way they could hear what the doctor was saying. He led her into a small room under the house and said he wanted to show her something. He arranged a pile of broken glass in the center of the room and made it so the light reflected off of it, creating an imitation of the Northern Lights.
“It’s beautiful.” Jenna said.
Balto answered, “Yeah...” But he wasn’t looking at the lights. Then they heard talking through a vent and listened. It was the doctor saying he was out of medicine.
The sled team, led by Steele set out to retrieve more medicine. However, a terrible snowstorm swept through the area and the team was lost. Balto set out to find the team and lead them back, but when he tried to help—Steele had almost killed him. Balto, as inexperienced in fighting as he was, defeated Steele and Started to lead them back to Nome. One night when the dogs were in the old mill, Steele walked in frozen and weak claiming that the team was lost and Balto was dead. As proof, Steele had Jenna’s red bandana. Jenna had given Balto the bandana when he left and was now convinced that Steele was right. That is when she first realized that she loved Balto. The next day, Balto returned with the medicine and saved the town. Steele, it turned out, had put the team on a false trail. He was run out of Nome and was never seen again.

‘He tried to kill Balto because he was jealous of him. He didn’t care about saving the town. He just wanted to be a hero!’ Jenna had been thinking so long that she didn’t realize it was dark. She heard a noise behind her. She turned around to see what it was, but never got the chance. All she saw was blackness.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 1:22 pm 
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Cool this is a good story I can't wait for more This is a really juciy stroy.

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Man chose Land and Sea,
Dragon chose Wind and Fire.

Grhaeh Lit made the Avi thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 1:25 pm 
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Great job! Must read more! More, more, more!

The end reminds me of my end to Chapter Six of Balto: A New LIfe...

Jenna lay sleeping in the kitchen when she heard scratching on the door. She lifted her head and said,
“You can come in.” The scratching stopped, but no one came through the doggy door. Puzzled, Jenna got up and walked over to the small flap. Sticking her head through it, she looked around, but there was no one in sight. She stepped out into the chilly evening air and looked around once again. The snow muffled the sound of approaching paws just long enough. Before she could turn around, a blow to her head made her collapse unconscious.


I guess great minds think alike huh?
Keep it up! I can't wait to see where this goes!

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My five latest videos. Enjoy!
The Change - Balto
Two Worlds - Balto and Jenna
Wake Up America - Balto
Long Black Train - Balto
Balto - Go the Distance


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:08 pm 
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Thanks! :D

I won't be poasting anymore of it until it's finninshed. Sorr to leave everone hanging like this, but I want to save the rest. :lol:

(If you really, really, I'll-die-if-I-don't-read-more, really want to see more--I'l email it to you.)

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:22 pm 
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OK! I lied!! I just can't disapoint the readers!

Here's chapter 2

Chapter 2


Balto lay awake in the dog barn in Applegate. It was the middle of the night. He couldn’t get to sleep. He had this horrible feeling that something was wrong back home.
“Dad?” Kodi said as he walked over and sat down Next to Balto. “What are you doing up this late? We have to get to Nome tomorrow.”
“I could ask you the same thing. Anyway, I’ve just got this feeling that something bad has happened at home.”
“Well, we’re going home tomorrow so you can find out then.” Kodi replied. “Until then we need to get some sleep.” He started to walk over to his bed when Balto said,
“Hey, you never told me what you were doing up.”
“Oh, me? I was...uh...just talking to someone I met today. That’s all.” At that moment a beautiful gray and white husky wearing a blue sled harness walked up to them.
“Hey Kodi, is this your dad?”
“Uh...yeah. Dad this is Lumina. Lumina, this is my dad, Balto.” Balto didn’t look at al surprised to see the beautiful young dog.
“So, this is why you’re up so late.” Balto said, “You sure talking was all you were doing?”
“Dad!” Kodi said, embarrassed at his father’s comment. “You know that I wouldn’t do that. I just met her! Not that you’re not...uh...” He turned to Lumina, trying to stay on both sides at once. Balto and Lumina started laughing at his hopeless antics.
“I’m just kidding, Kodi.” Balto said.
“C’mon Kodi, it just a joke.” Lumina added.
“Oh ‘Ha-ha-ha’...very funny.” Kodi replied sarcastically. Lumina turned to Balto.
“So, you’re Balto huh? I’ve heard a lot about you and Kodi speaks very highly of you.”
“Really...Well thanks son!” Balto said. The he put his paws on Kodi’s shoulders and nuzzled him. “I wuv you soooo much!”
“Dad!” Kodi said as he pulled away. “Cut it out!” Balto and Lumina were laughing again.
“Lighten up, Kodi. It must be great having a hero for a dad. I never knew my parents.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that...but...I wouldn’t say ‘hero’.” Balto said, slightly embarrassed by this comment. “I was just--.” He was cut off by Lumina.
“Just doing what had to be done, right?”
“Yeah...” Balto said, baffled at how she knew what he was going to say. “How did you know...”
“All the dogs told me that’s what you say when called a ‘hero’.”
“Oh, I guess...” Balto started, but was interrupted by an angry voice.
“Would you three SHUT UP and let us sleep!?”
“Well,” Kodi said, “Looks like it’s time for bed. Come on Lumina. Good night, Dad.”
“Good night, son...and don’t you two do anything you’re not supposed to. I’m not ready to be a grandpa yet.” Kodi glared at his father and laid down next to Lumina. They were all soon asleep.

* * *

The next morning Balto was awaken by the sound of conversation. He sat up and looked around. The team was already hooked up and ready to go. However, what startled Balto most was that Lumina was harnessed right behind Kodi!
“Hey,” he said as he walked over to Kodi, “What’s going on? Why is she in Harley’s spot?”
“Oh,” Kodi said, looking at the ground, “Harley got hurt real bad in a fight with a Malamute. He’s at the vet ER. Anyway, the good news is that Samuel saw Lumina wearing her harness. He asked around to see if he could find her owner, but he apparently thought she ran away and left without her. So, Samuel hooked her up and she’s coming with us!” Balto could tell Kodi was excited, even though he was sorry for Harley.
‘He must really like this girl.’ He thought. “That’s great!” He said. The he turned to Lumina. “You’ll love Nome.”
“Thanks. I can’t wait to get there.” She responded. “Nome sounds like a nice place.” Samuel came and hooked Balto in the lead position next to Kodi and started handing out breakfast. Shortly afterwards, it was time to leave.
“Let’s go home, guys!” Samuel said. “MUSH!” They left the barn at full speed in the direction of Nome.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:31 pm 
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! It's so happy!
Seriously, that was a really son-to-father, talking-about-dating conversation. Very well written. TWO THUMBS UP! :thumleft: :thumleft:

Good luck with the rest, and I CAN wait. Writing is a very delicate process. Only send it in when you're satisfied with it. :wink:
I'm anxious to see what happened to Jenna.

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My five latest videos. Enjoy!
The Change - Balto
Two Worlds - Balto and Jenna
Wake Up America - Balto
Long Black Train - Balto
Balto - Go the Distance


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:58 pm 
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Thankx a lot :D !!

I'm half way done with Chapter 3...BUT...It containes mature content. Anybody who wants to read is reading at their own risk!

(fist half)

Chapter 3


Jenna woke up in a dark room. The floor was hard and cold. She could only guess it some kind of cave. Her head was pounding. She sat up and felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. ‘That hurts!’ she thought. ‘What happened to me?’ Then, she heard voices to her left. She limped towards them until she saw a faint light ahead.
“The boss said to watch her and make sure she doesn’t escape.” One voice said.
“Well, that doesn’t mean we can’t give her some scraps to eat.” Said another voice.
“Well, alright—but make it quick.” Jenna heard the sound of paws coming her way. A female wolf came in carrying a dead...something in her mouth.
“Here,” she said sourly, “eat this we’ll be leaving in the morning.”
“Who are you!?” Jenna demanded. “Where am I!?”
“My name is Sarafina. We’re leaving in the morning so it doesn’t matter where we are. And, the only reason you’re alive is because Steele has something planned for you!” Jenna’s stomach did a summersault.
“St—Steele!?” She said, her voice shaking. “W—what does he want?”
“What I want...” Said an icy voice that made Jenna freeze where she was. “Is you, Jenna.” She turned to look at who had spoken, but she already knew who it was. Steele had just entered the cave and was slowly advancing on Jenna. Sarafina left them alone.
“Stay away from me!” Jenna cried as she backed up. She had forgotten all her injuries.
“Heh...stay away? Jenna, please—I’ve waited more than three years for this.” He had a menacing smile. Jenna hit the cave wall she couldn’t back up any more. She was now afraid for her life.
“W—what are you going to do?” She asked, afraid of what the answer would be. It was worse than she could have ever hoped.
“You.” Was his answer. Jenna felt sick. She would rather die than betray Balto like that. However she could barely speak enough to let out a simple,
“No...”
“YES!!” He was so close to her that their noses were almost touching. “Whether you like it or not! Oh, But don’t worry, I need you alive so I won’t kill you...yet! I’ll do my best to make it more enjoyable than that filthy half-breed!” He jumped and tackled her to the ground.
“NOOOOOO!!“
[/u]

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:24 pm 
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Holy snap that was... that was... WOW! What a suspenseful cliffhanger!
You, my friend, are learning quickly about suspense! It took me a while to write good suspenseful chapters.

GAAAAAAAA!! STEELE'S GONE INSANE! I've got to kill him!
*takes a deep breath* Sorry, lost the happy, but the happy's back!

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My five latest videos. Enjoy!
The Change - Balto
Two Worlds - Balto and Jenna
Wake Up America - Balto
Long Black Train - Balto
Balto - Go the Distance


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:32 pm 
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Ilove it !! My story is sad while your story is fun. can't wait for more Keep up the good work !!!

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Man chose Land and Sea,
Dragon chose Wind and Fire.

Grhaeh Lit made the Avi thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:49 pm 
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Wow! Is it really that good? I haven't been writing for long. In fact--this is the first story I've written that's not a school thing. It must be from rp!

I'm almost done with chapter 3! :D

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