Very nice fic so far! I really like where you are going with this. ^^
But I do have some constructive critisism.
. Everytime you have a different character speaking, make a new paragrah. For example instead of a block of text:
Quote:
"He lives to run that Kodi," Mr. Simpson would say, "Even if it kills him." Kodi looked up into his master's dark face and barked every time he said it, as if he agreed. "Hey Kodi!" Ralph shouted. "What the heck are you doin'?" Kodi yelped in surpirze as the huge dog crashed into him. When Kodi was thinking about his job, Mr. Simpson had harnessed him and the rest of the dogs. Kodi yelped and started running. When he passed by the alleyway, he saw Mona smiling at him, he felt that weird feeling inside of him again.
Have it look like this with neat paragraphs:
Quote:
"He lives to run that Kodi," Mr. Simpson would say. "Even if it kills him."
Kodi looked up into his master's dark face and barked every time he said it, as if he agreed.
"Hey Kodi!" Ralph shouted.
"What the heck are you doin'?" Kodi yelped in surpirze as the huge dog crashed into him.
When Kodi was thinking about his job, Mr. Simpson had harnessed him and the rest of the dogs. Kodi yelped and started running. When he passed by the alleyway, he saw Mona smiling at him, he felt that weird feeling inside of him again.
See. It will look much better and it will also be easier for people to read.
