This is my first fanfic so be kind
My Cuz was on this site a while ago but she left anyway she started to write a fanfic called Balto Final Goodbye but she only managed part of the first chapter and then gave me the fanfic and her charries I have now got up to the fourth chapter but I just wanted to see if this story fits in on BS. I know my grammar isn't the best but it will do, any way here is a bit of the story so here goes....
prologue...
Kodi was howling the most mournfull howl heard to Nome, up untill a few hours ago he had been the happiest dog in Alaska, but that had all changed now. He had never felt so alone, but he must be strong for his son he must not let him down, not now......
Chapter 1: The Boldest Wolf
"Dad I'am sorry that I'm not perfect for you, and I'am sorry that I'm not what you wan't me to be but this is my life I'am not going to live through you and grampa, I'am not Hero!!!"
"Don't ever speak of Hero, he was twice the dog you will ever be!!!"shouted Kodi
"Maybe so but I'm not a dog am I Dad, I'm a Wolf and you hate me for what I am and for what happened to Hero"
"Bold I don't hate you, but you could have helped Hero, you just watched him die"
"I didn't watch my Brother die!!!"
"Yes you did, he was such a good pup, it should have been ...."
"Should have been what?... Me!!!"
"I didn't say that"
"you were about to",wimpered Bold tears coming down her face,"You hate me because I'm your only pup left, but I'm the only one who looks like a wolf even though I have your husky markings, I hate you!"
"If you hate me that much then why don't you go!!! And yes I do hate you!"
"Fine then I will, but I don't know how you can hate your own daughter because she's a wolf when you have got wolf in you your self, that's were I got it from isn't it Dad or am I still allowed to call you that, Kodi"
"Just go already Bold"
By now Bold had tears streaming down her face. Her hole life was coming apart and know one could help her apart from her father, how could he say these things to her, he must know she wasn't responcible for the death of her brother.
As Bold turned to leave she growled in a voice choked by her tears...
"You will never be your father know matter how hard you try, because he is not ashamed of what he is!!!"
And with that Bold took off she ran straight into the forest and headed to a cave she had been to so many times before. As she got to the cave she was greeted by a friendly face she had seen and loved for so long.
"How did he take it?" asked the black wolf notcing the tears coming down Bold's face
"Not good at all, he told me he hates me, what am I going to do Shadow Heart?"
"He doen't hate you Bold" he said trying to sooth her
"Yes he does Shadow he blames me for Hero's death, he told me himself!"
"Did you tell him about me and you?"
"How could I possibly tell him that I have chosen a wolf as my mate?!"
"Calm down Bold I'm only trying to help you!"
"Well your not helping, if anything your making it worse!, I'm going out!"
"B..B..Bold were are you going?"
"Some were away from you!!!"
Once again Bold was on her own, she ran to Solar Hill were she sat and thought about what had happened in that day
"Where is he?, I don't understand he was mean't to meet me here!"
"How could I have lost my family and my mate all in one day?, Only I could have done that!" she thought
After a while she realised how
hungry she was, but she couldn't find food for herself, now she had others to think of..., so she got up and went to look for some
food as she came up to a group of trees she found the scent of
fresh kill coming from them, her mouth started to water at the smell.
As she got closer she realised that the meat was hanging from a tree not too far away so she broke into a run but as she got underneath the tree the ground began to shake beneath her paws and then she
dissapeared into the ground with a loud yelp....
"That was Bold!!", Shadow Heart had been looking for Bold when he heard her yelp
"Bold were are you?" He cried out
"Over here" she wimpered in a failing voice
As Shadow Heart came upon the place were Bold had fallen horror woke in his mind as he saw her lying at the bottom of a hunting
pit, blood ozing from the three piercings were the stakes had
sliced into her side.
"Shadow I can't get out of here and I feel horrible pains shooting through my body, I..I can't feel my legs, whats happened Shadow?"
"Bold your gonna be okay"
"Shadow I know I'm not going to be okay, I feel weaker and weaker every time I take a breath, I'm dying Shadow!"
"No! Your gonna make it Bold I will get you out of there, hold on please you have to... for me"he cried tears pouring down his face
Bold's breaths were getting fainter and fainter untill they had almost stopped, and Shadow Heart noticed that her eyes were glazing
over, her fur was tinged with the pools of blood coming
from her chest and stomach
"Shadow could......you do....me one thing.....?"
"Yes what is it?"
"Could you....tell my...Dad that i'm......sorry and that....I love him"
"Of coarse I can, but wouldn't you wan't to tell him your self?"
"Shadow.....I'm not...gonna make it...much longer!
"Don't say that!"he wimpered
"And.....Shadow Heart I am proud.... that you....chose me to... be your mate,I......love you.......and....I'm....Sorry..........."
"Sorry for what?......Bold!..Bold!! please don't leave me, please!!!"
A shudder ran right through her body from her nose to her tail and as it did her legs stopped kicking and her head sank
Shadow let out a mournfull howl that seemed to last forever, so with tears streeming down his face he set of to tell Kodi about her final request and that his last pup had fallen at the hands of a hunter, but what he didn't no was that Bold had been hiding something from him as well as her family.....Bold had pregnant, but she couldn't have told Shadow because they were not his pups....they were his brothers, Broken Fang's pups. And so Bold took the secret of her pups to her grave, or so she thought but Broken Fang had other plans......
Tell me what you think and any pointers on how to make it better
