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"What?" Setsuko repeated softly, not wanting to believe what she just heard, not even sure if she could comprehend it. Kuilak continued to sob.

"L...Li's not w...w...with us a...a...a...anym...m...more," he managed. "He...he let his...his...his d....dreams..." Kuilak could not finish the end of the analogy to the lullaby. So close them now, let your dreams take you free, or let it seem.

Setsuko began to panic. "Where's Li?" she said once more. She would not believe this until she saw it for herself. When nobody answered, she screamed. "Where is he?!"

"Mama, you're scaring me," Misaki murmured a bit fearfully, tears still fresh on her reddened face.

Rue lifted her head, and looked at Setsuko. "Kuilak, show her Li," she said, her voice surprisingly calm desite the tear-choked quality it retained.

Kuilak did not dare let go his children. Not while in Protective Mode like this. He nodded his head towards where he had laid the late infant, on the softest pile of moss and old blanket bits he could manage to gather. Setsuko quickly ran to him, wasting no time lifting him up. His skin was now ice cold and pale, causing his handful of dark, purpled bruises to stand out strongly. He was unnaturally still, no signs of life anywhere through his ridiculously tiny body.

"No," Setsuko murmured. Her voice very quickly cresendoed. "No, no, no, no! Li! Wake up, sweetheart! My baby...my child...wake up!" Even amidst her yelling, she shook the child desperately, trying to get him to move. But she knew. She knew, deep down in the bottom of her heart, that he would not. Her voice became suddenly soft and she began to feel hot, bitter tears stinging at her shaking silver eyes, her movements ceasing. "Wake up," she repeated. "Please."

Li did not move.

The tears began to fall.

Rue buried her face in Tariq's shirt again, unable to watch the heart-breaking scene. She couldn't even imagine the pain Setsuko must feel, even though Rue felt quite a bit of pain herself. It was probably nothing compared to the mother's, though. Her shoulders shook with heavy sobs, and she clutched Tariq as if he was her life-line.

There was nothing she could do.
Nothing.
Nothing.

Sinking into nothingness.

One found, another lost. But this one was lost for good. Nothing...nothing...there was nothing she could do...she could not change the past, she could not bring Li back, she could hardly even speak, let alone move. Nothing...

Setsuko buried her head into her hands as though they could stop the force of her tears, her leaking eyes which threaten to dry her body, sucking out all the moisture left to create those hot, salty droplets which streamed down her pale, yet reddened cheeks like rain down a smooth rock, cutting out paths of the dirt and dust that lined her face. Nothing, nothing, nothing....Why nothing? Why nothing?

Why...nothing....

And before she knew it, Setsuko was out again, the tears still managing to flow for a while before halting.

Ooc:// I got me some writers' block. D:

ooc--Well, that's not helping me, either. I've got no idea what to post next. :P

:/ Neither do I.

ooc--Well, let's skip ahead a few days, then.


Coping with a lost child was hard.

It didn't take a genius to learn that lesson.

Some of the younger children--Yuumi, even Misaki--eventually brushed off the hurt they felt, being young enough to not quite understand. Or perhaps, as a fleeting thought suggested, they were just somehow stronger than their older relatives. The older children, particularly Kya and, to an extent, Sumi, felt longer-lasting anguish for their lost brother, not having smiled since the accident. Not sincerely.

Kuilak was trying his best to hold together, and to keep his wife and children that way, as well. As he always had, he managed to keep deep emotions locked inside and retain some kind of calm demeanor. At least, so he attempted.

And Setsuko? Setsuko was broken. Not as much physically, anymore, but mentally. Even before the frightful occurrence, terrible things had been shut up inside her being. Worry for her children, fear of Ayumu's condition, the temporary loss of Jaci...it all added up. But she still tried to hold together as Kuilak was trying so hard to do now. The emo sulkiness she had displayed before had all been just an attempt to shield her friends and family from the horrifying depth of what she really felt.

But in the end, all that protection had only backfired. Li was gone. Gone. And Setsuko could bot help but feel that is was at least partially her fault. She was protecting them...but at the same time, she failed to do just that. Now he was gone. Forever.

Setsuko was not making any healing progress other than the fact that she was now conscious. Or so it seemed. With every hour, she seemed to grow colder. More distant. Hard to contact. Kuilak had taken over the responsibility of the children, with a bit of help from Rue and Tariq, but they all worried. You could see it in their eyes.

Rue cast another glance at Setsuko. After Li's death, she had become closed off, distant. Rue knew she was still grieving; they all were. But the loss of her youngest seemed to have...broken Setsuko, in a way. She was gradually becoming more unwilling to interact with the world outside. Rue was having trouble keeping herself together as well, though not as much as her friend was.

Rue couldn't help but think that Li's death was at least partially her fault. She was the one who had pushed Setsuko, the one who had released the first torrent of angry words. If they had never agrued, if Rue had had just a bit more self-control....would any of this happened? Would Li still be here? Unable to think otherwise, Rue had to admit he probably would be.

Kuilak sighed as he carried a half-exhausted Yuumi across the forest floor. For some time after the incident, the group had been wandering randomly through the dying forest, not really aiming to go anywhere in particular. But what else could they do right now?

Being on the move wasn't easy, of course. The younger children wore out easily and Setsuko, in her distant state, took constant coaxing. On their night stops she often collapsed into Kuilak's arms and cried out her stress just so she could sleep, and if that didn't happen, she wandered off and sat for hours on some lone rock where only Kuilak and Rue could contact her, and even they could only do so barely.

Kuilak turned to Rue. "...Do you think we should go back to that cave? The spirit guy is darn awful creepy, but there's got to be something he could do to help Setsuko."

Rue nodded, dark shadows under her eyes. Right now, they needed all the help they could get. On top of Setsuko becoming so closed off, Tess appeared to be coming down with something. Hopefully nothing too serious, but she was weaker than normal, and her appetite seemed to have shrunk. "I don't think we have much of a choice," she said.

Kuilak returned the nod weakly. "Ok. So, which way is it, again?"

A moment's thought, and Rue pointed towards the right. The path looked a bit easier there as well, and by her judgement, it wasn't too far off. They should reach it in an hour or two, since they had to walk.

"Ok," Kuilak agreed. He yawned. "I'm tired, though. Let's stop here and rest."

"Finally! Kanna moaned. "My feet are killing me!"

"Yeah, me too!" agreed Misaki. Kya nodded numbly, and Sumi did not respond.

"Did you hear that, Setsuko? We're stopping here." Kuilak murmured softly, putting a hot, worn-down sweaty hand on his wife's stiff shoulder. She glanced absently towards him and gave the slightest of nods, face still desolate.