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Now that, without any other word capable to describe it, was epic. My vocabulary isn't extensive enough, nor do I now how to express my reaction to this.

...dang...

I had imagined a completely different scenario for this point in the story...fragmented from old ideas I had place. I was really surprised it's not what happens. And really, for the better. This chapter has much more power than the my assumed original could have had. Thanks to all that, it really heightened my reading of this chapter.

A very nice job, Suka!

Wow...

I was intensely paralyzed in my seat as I read this. It felt as if I was watching it as a movie, the description was so vivid! But seriously, it was epic. I could almost hear Selgar's breathing as the fight went on... or like when you described everything as stopped except for Ark, it was like one of those scenes in a movie where everything's almost silent and in slow motion except for the breathing and heartbeat of the main character. Well, at least that's how I visualized it.

You know, not a whole lot of stories do that for me. This is definitely one of those.

Awesome job, Suka! I await the next chapter later today!

Thank you all kindly. :] The fact that there were parts in that last chapter you totally didn't expect means a lot to me. But alas now, our tale is nearly finished. The last segment will come out sometime this afternoon.




[Chapter 13 taken down. Thank you for your interest.]

Dam... that was something else, man!

Gah, I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy, myself after reading that! You captured the essence of being helplessly injured, having one's mind lost in a desperate attempt to do something that's probably not likely to succeed (in Selgar's case, saving Arcus) among other things.

Man... a broken dorsal fin? Broken leg? Many burns? Man, he's taken a beating. I guess, as with most good pieces of fiction, the protagonist has to be portrayed as still human (or in this case, dolphin/humanoid) and not invulnerable.

It's very real, I gotta say. It provides an end to the story that keeps the reader wanting more, even though they know it's pretty much already over. (more reason for said reader to go read up on ROP!)

Anyway, I look forward to the epilogue! ^^

What Swords said, really. I love how you built up the tension and the former chapter and how you ended the latest one. Thumbs up and a salute to you.

One more after this. It's talking slightly longer than I anticipated, but I'm sure no one's going to object to one more. :3 It's pretty much finished after this though. The purpose of this chapter is merely to tie up most loose ends. But I'll leave that up to you guys.

Oh yes. And I've had to infer a couple things about this chapter. Rusty, Swords, you'll know when you get to the part. But I'd appreciate it if you told me if it's acceptable.

Who knows... might be kinda fun to write an alternate ending.

Anyway.




[Chapter 14 taken down. Thank you for your interest.]

So very interesting! Another work of art, Suka.

So, all this time, it managed to stay with him. I wonder what sort of state it's in and what does that mean for RoP. Clearly, our characters are going to have to stay in Desdon for a while.

That's all fine by we. And whatever the state it is in, I'll adjust to it. You have that freedom.

Interesting with the bonding of the poison. That's fine, too.

That's very interesting. I can't help but wonder how this will affect RoP as well. I imagine strange things would happen if Anayu came across Selgar on a bad day o.o' (if he's going to be in RoP as well).

*makes mental note to keep Anayu out of trouble*

You know, it's always hard for me to read a story where the main protagonist suffers such immense physical and mental damage (losing a lot of his memories seemed especially tragic, to me... especially considering that I created the character. XD ) but I gotta say that this, at least, wasn't all sad. Hey, he got out of the hospital where they were doing tests on him, and he's free to walk around as he likes! (Well, seemingly, at least)

And yes, like the others said, I cannot wait to see how this will affect ROP! This should be quite an interesting character for our group to meet...

Who-hoo!! The final chapter is FINALLY here!! I just wanted to say before I release this that this project has been SO much fun to work on. I really enjoyed it, and my only regret is that the original role-playing thread had to be deleted. But that's in the past now. I would never have gotten this far, I'd have lost interest, and this would've just been another failed project to be lost in my JUNKYARD folder if it weren't for all of your continued support and comments. Thank you all kindly for your patience and replies. Truly, I look forward to continuing the story in RoP.




[Chapter 15 taken down. Thank you for your interest.]

Wow, man... two minutes after I posted my reply to the last part, and this comes...

Man, touching ending, for sure. I just... can't really put it into words... but I really felt like I was about to cry for a few moments.

It was a pleasure to read this, Suka. It really was.

Touching. Very touching.

I can't get over the fact he put the necklace on.
I can't wait to see what happens! How exciting!
A simple talk and give? a whole fight? OoOoOo...

If only we could get there... Hey, Sirus, come 'ere...

How many praises can we give this and you, Suka? Who knows?
But everyone is deserved.

Everyone, indeed. ;] Thank you all in turn for listening. I really appreciate it.

And now, on a few minor notes here... if you can turn back to the first page of this thread, I should have that survey outlined by tomorrow. It's been on the bulletin for a while, but anyone who asks for and completes the survey will receive a downloadable copy of the story. So yeah. Just for you guys. ^^

Right, and in case there are still some feelings left over, I, myself, was kind of hesitant about giving Selgar his new set of powers. I mean, props to Swords, Selgar was just an AWESOME character to write in. Heh heh, I kinda grew fond of him myself in writing this. But I wanted him to have a truly unique set of water abilities, and in this last chapter, I've been straining myself to keep it from sounding like Avatar's blood-bending techniques. The new branch of hydrokinesis [but not really hydrokinetic] powers that Selgar now has is called "biokinesis," or the ability to use the mind to manipulate the functions of a physical body. As you might've been able to guess, Selgar can now control the body matter in others, but he can also apply this to himself, adapting his own body to best suit his environment in nearly any extreme condition [i.e. Deep sea]. That, and of course, he's now telepathic, but can only commute while he's underwater.

So yeah.

Ah, thanks, Suka! ^_^ *ish proud* I'm glad you really liked playing as Selgar.

And awesome! I can't wait to see how this works... biokinesis sounds like a completely AWESOME concept that I gotta say sounds like something I can't wait to see!

And I'll get to completing the survey ASAP when it comes up!

Awesome work, again, man.

Again, I'd like to thank you all for your continued support and ideas. I really couldn't have done it without any of you. ;D So now on to the afternews... I have the survey ready, the questions of which, I will post shortly. PLEASE PM ME YOUR RESPONSES. All participants will receive a free downlaodable version of the story in its current edited state.

My Skype has changed as well, so if I can get any of your PMs, I'll relay that to you as well. There was a matter a little important I wanted to discuss, so if we could set up an appointment soon about that, I'd appreciate it.

Finally, as of Sunday, May 31st or Monday, June 1st, I will be taking down the chapters to the story. So be sure to fill out that survey quick!! :]

Also, Rusty, you mentioned that you were proofreading the story for errors that may've slipped past my spellcheck system. If you or anyone have/has those, I'd like it very much to correct in the final draft of Project: DOACC.

For those participating in RoP, I need something from you guys as well. I would like to know exactly HOW MANY and exactly WHO will be arriving at Desdon at the RP with us. So far, I'd only know those that are in the group right now, but since more characters will be joining our party, I need to verify this so our stories click together.

I beliefs that's all I have for now. Without further ado, here's the survey:




1.) Thinking within only the confines of what happened in Defense of a Crippled City [pretend Rites of Passage doesn't exist and you know nothing about it], were there any plot holes or unanswered questions pertaining to the story that weren't acknowledged?

2.) Were you satisfied with the overall length of the story? Were there parts that dragged on or perhaps needed to be expanded on a little more?

3.) Do you think the characters are believable? Can you relate to the motivation behind each character's [not just Selgar's] actions and decisions?

4.) What was your favorite part of the story and why?

5.) What was your least favorite part of the story and why?

6.) Did you feel that the ending tied up the story nicely [Can Defense of a Crippled City stand as a story by itself?] or was there the feeling that you expected more to come?

7.) How satisfied were you with the release times of each individual chapter? Was there ever a time where you thought you might've lost interest in the story? If so, where?

8.) Were there any parts to the story you felt were predictable or cliché? If you can recall, what clues led you to make the prediction you did or feel that a certain element was overused?

9.) What other stories have you read or movies have you seen that reminded you of Defense of a Crippled city? Why, and what parts? [Wolverine doesn't count. XD]

10.) Please comment on anything else about the story you thought was a good idea or bad. I'm not an easy person to offend, so please go all out and say anything you need to. ;D