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Supernatural:
Sam: Unicorns aren't real?

Sam: Hey Bella(moments later) Nice to see you..Bella....

Heroes:
Hiro: YATTA!

Some from 'House M.D.' :

Dr. House: [to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting area] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a bored... certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will.
[to Lisa]
That is true, isn't it?
[to crowd]
But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
[nobody moves]
And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
[everybody raises their hand]
Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.

He seriously hates clinic duty XD

Dr. House: I am extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting new designer drugs and you come back with tomato sauce.

Dr. Wilson: Ah yes, if it isn’t Dr. Ironside.
Dr. House: Ah, if it isn’t Dr. “I-had-no-friends-when-I-was-growing-up-so-all-I-did-was-watch-TV-by-myself-which-is-why-I-can-now-make-pop-cultural-references-which-no-one-understands-but-me.”
Dr. Wilson: That’s my name, don’t wear it out.

Dr. House: I was curious. Since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous.
Dr. Wilson: I don't think that metaphor was actually designed to warn cats.

House is win.

From Monsters Inc:

Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous.
Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet, THAT COULD KILL ME!

Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Sulley: Spoons?
Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.

From The West Wing:

Leo McGarry: Would you like a brandy?

Ainsley Hayes: No, I get sick when I drink too much.

Leo McGarry: I get drunk when I drink too much.

Step Up 2:

"I like your accent,"

the girl: "What accent?"

Stewie: (To one servant): You! Fetch me the Wall Street Journal! (To the other two) You two! Fight to the death!!!

From X-Men 2 [X2] ['cause I love it dearly XD] There are a lot XD:

Logan [Wolverine]: Got any beer?
Bobby: This is a school.
Logan: So that's a no?
Bobby: Yeah, that's a no.
Logan: Well, do you have anything other than chocolate milk?


Storm: Can you teleport inside?
Nightcrawler: No. I have to be able to see where I am going, otherwise I could wind up inside a wall.


Pyro: So, they say you're the bad guy.
Magneto: Is that what they say...
[Pyro looks at Magneto's helmet]
Pyro: That's a dorky looking helmet, what's it for?
Magneto: This "dorky looking helmet" is the only thing that's going to protect me from the REAL bad guys.


Magneto: [takes John's [Pyro's] lighter] What's your name?
Pyro: [staring at his lighter in Magneto's hands] John.
Magneto: [lighter in hands is open and lit] What's your real name, John?
Pyro: [flame from lighter appears in Pyro's hands] Pyro.
Magneto: Quite a talent you have there, Pyro.
Pyro: I can only manipulate the fire
[flame disappears into Pyro's hand]
Pyro: I can't create it.
Magneto: You are a god among insects. Never let anyone tell you different.


Pyro: You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about in the news? I'm the worst one.


Rogue: They told us to stay here!
Pyro: Do you always do as your told?


Professor X: [to Pyro after he used his powers against humans] And the next time you feel like showing off... don't.


Nightcrawler: Excuse me? They say you can imitate anybody, even their voice.
Mystique: [as Nightcrawler] Even their voice.
Nightcrawler: Then why not stay in disguise all the time? You know, look like everyone else.
Mystique: Because we shouldn't have to.


Policeman: [about Logan's ''claws''] Put the knives down!
Logan: I can't.


Nightcrawler: Guten tag.
Logan: Who the h*ll are you? Who the h*ll is this?
Nightcrawler: Kurt Wagner. But in the Munich circus, I was known as The Incredible Nightcrawler!
Logan: Yeah, save it.


Cyclops: Storm, who is this guy? Who are you?
Nightcrawler: My name is Kurt Wagner, but in the Munich Circus...
Storm: He's a teleporter.


Bobby's Dad: What exactly are you a professor of, "Professor Logan?"
Logan: [Rogue, Bobby, and Pyro look at Logan, not knowing what to say. Logan pauses] Art.


Bobby's Mom: This is all my fault.
Pyro: Actually they discovered that it's the male who carries the mutant gene and passes it on, so it's his fault. [Points to Bobby's Dad]


Here's a quote from the first one that I found funny:

[commenting on the X-Men uniforms]
Logan: You actually go outside in these things?
Cyclops: Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex?

From Doctor Who:

The Doctor: Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck

The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

The Doctor: So the year five billion, the sun expands, the earth gets roasted...
Rose: That was our first date.
The Doctor: We had chips!

And from Blackadder: The Cavalier Years:

Edmund Blackadder: Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed, man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.
Baldrick: In what way?
Edmund Blackadder: It doesn't exist.

Supernatural:

Sam: I had this weird dream*looks at Dean*
Dean: Yeah, Clowns or migits?*laughs*

The Lord of the Rings movies, Special Extended Edition, The Fellowship of the ring, Disc 2:
Frodo "I wish the ring had never com to me, I wish none of this had happened"
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for us to decide. All we have to do is what to do with the time that is given to us".

"Hey, jab one more eye and it's a federal crime!"

-EPA official, "The Simpsons Movie"

"'Jane,' she asked. 'Would you care for a cognac?' 'Yes, thank you very much. I would like one desperately.'" (Jane takes a swig of beer.)

"Fun With Dick and Jane" (1976)