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My mom saw this at the EMS station. She had to share it with me, and now I have to share it with all of you.

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Artery: The study of paintings
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria
Barium: What the doctors do when patients die
Benign: What you be after you be eight
CAT Scan: Searching for kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Ceasarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome
Colic: A sheepdog
Dilate: You lived longer than expected
Duct Tape: Suture on a roll
Enema: Not a friend
Fester: Quicker than someone else
Fibula: A small lie
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Outpatient: A person who has fainted
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman emperor
Tablet: A small table
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport
Tumor: More than one (I hope not!)

Signs that you might be a Redneck EMT

The mobile phone in your ambulance is a rotary dial.
Your ALS (Advanced Life Support) kit consists of band-aids.
You don't have a problem taking a shortcut to the scene via an old logging road or power line road.
You carry a deer rifle in deer season, just in case you see the big one.
You get your oxygen from a welding shop.
Acme Junkyard has all the parts to keep your rig running.

Cheeseman : Cheezy superhero action in bitesize!

---- SRD November 16th 2007.

What do you call a Deer with no eye?
noeydeer. (Say it outloud to get it)
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsssshhh.

Watching crimewatch, and the presenter said "This photo was taken 10 years ago, so he might have aged"
Yeah. Probably about 10 years.

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I really don't understand people who say they don't believe in abortion.
I mean, it definitely exists.

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I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.
You probably saw our posters.

Yes, but some people age differently than others.
Not funny. Not even close to funny.
And that's just goofy, but it reminds me of a bit of dialogue from Danny Phantom.

Jack: (aka Danny's Dad) upon seeing a white streak in Danny's hair) You remind me of a band I used to be in. The Skunk Punks!
Danny: (reads the newspaper clipping his dad shows him) "Skunk Punks Stink"?
Jack: Yeah, we walked right into that one.

My mom and I got into a arugment about buying me stuff, she said, "I'm not made of money."
And I replied, "Isn't that what M.O.M. stands for?" And thats when she sent me to my room.

Might not be funny to you, but then again... It's more sarcastic then anything.

This made me laugh. x] I've actually used that last part in real life conversations.
Does this make me a bad person? lol

It made me laugh too. Let's be bad people together. x]

That's not funny, that's almost cruel... and I believe what people mean is, they don't believe it's right.

Huzzah! 8D



How is that cruel? rofl As Conay said :



And no, people actually do say they "don't believe in [whatever dumb thing they are complaining about]"

Lets get off the abortion topic and back to the point of this topic : Comedy.

Thank you Question, and Sasha. Tibb, Rebel, Conay, please get informed, get a sense of taste, and then get back to us.

A teenager had managed to get an old wreck of a car for a good price, and now he had been working on it for months trying to get it up and running. He fixed the engine, filled the gas tank, overhauled the transmission, and did everything else he could think of to make it work, but still the car wouldn't start.
His dad came over, saw his dejected expression, and smiled, hoping to encourage him. "Don't let it get to you, son," he advised. "Your mother and I have been trying to get you to work for seventeen years."

Now that was rather uncalled for, wasn't it? Taste has nothing to do with this, what the heck's your problem? Just because we have a slightly darker sense of humour than you, that automatically means we have no sense of taste?

What Rebel said.

And I actually am informed - more so than many average teenagers. Just because my opinion differs from yours does not mean I have no sense of "taste".