Animation Source Forums

Here's one for those of you who, like me, have mouths that move a good two or three times as fast as our brains.

A couple received a phone call from their daughter with the news that they were going to be grandparents. They were appropriately delighted, but later the man noticed his wife was rather quiet.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I was just thinking. We did everything we were supposed to; got married first and all that. So did she. But somehow this fells too soon. I just don't feel old enough."
He smiled and nodded. "You need more gray hairs."

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, they should get a job to pay for a proper house.

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Just failed my theory test.
Apparently female drivers aren't a hazard.

I gotta tip my hats off to two fellow AS member, Alexlovesyou and Hunter (the wolf), I am friends with both of the off of AS. And they got me so bad with the old one of them was hit by a car trick. Scared me half to death. And when one of them said to webcam, cuz she wants to talk. I was like sure. And there the two of them were sitting side by side. I couldn't help but laugh. And I was laughing for prolly the full hour after that.

Once again, bravo you really got me xD

This one made me lol because I always opted out of dissections in science class.

"Today," a professor said to his biology class, "We will be taking a frog apart to see what makes him croak. I have in my pocket the frog to be used for demonstratory purposes."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper bag. Out of that, to the class's amusement, fell a badly squashed ham sandwich.
The teacher wiped his brow. "My goodness!" he stammered. "I distinctly remember eating my lunch!"

I was going to post a joke here about an unsharpened pencil, but it was pointless.

Joke repeat much?

Hidden text : click to show

That was just corny.

I used to be very good at wordplay...

Once a pun a time.

Dad: Excuse me, my son said he made the football team, but he wouldn't say which position.
Coach: Which one is he, that kid out there?
Dad: Yeah, that's him alright.
Coach: He's one of the drawbacks.

I was looking over old posts, came across this one, and realized maybe the one about sledding or tubing isn't such a big duh after all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do6-jrWUTHU

For the record, I warned you.

I was going to be a docter, but I didn't have the patients.

After that, I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough'.

Doorbell rang. Upon opening the door, the salesman on the other side took one look at the tears in my eyes, apologised and walked away. I closed the door and went back to chopping my onions.

- Anonymous