Animation Source Forums

Yeah, it was funnier if you heard it.
And yeah, I believe it.

I recently flew back from Sydney. I was using RyanAir. And I was seriously not impressed with the film...

It was a 12 hour animation of a plane flying from Sydney to London. Anyway, whatever you do, don't go and watch time to destination.




I recently flew to Russia, I've always wanted to meet a Russian girl. Because inside every Russian girl; Is another Russian girl.

Okay, in honor of this past Valentine's Day and the upcoming St. Patrick's Day, this little pun:

A Scotsman proposed to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick's Day. Strapped for cash, he presented her with a ring that had a fake diamond, hoping she wouldn't notice. Unfortunately, she did.
"You cheapskate!" she rebuked him. "This diamond's a phony!"
"I know," he replied, thinking fast, "But in honor of Saint Patrick, I wanted to give you a sham-rock."

You're too kind. And admittdly, I stole it from Reader's Digest.

And here's one from the radio.
A woman woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only three hairs on her head. So she said, "I think I'll braid it today." she did, and had a wonderful day.
The next morning, she saw that she had only two hairs. So she said, "I think I'll part it down the middle." She did, and had a wonderful day.
The next morning, as you may have guessed, she had only one. This time she had only one hair, so she decided on a pnytail for the day. And once again, she had a wonderful day.
The fourth morning she woke up and found herself bald. "How perfect!" she said. "I don't have to fix my hair today."
Attitude is everything.

4000 chavs a year die from Tesco's cheap booze. Every little helps

I've always wondered what Microsoft Windows ME stood for, but I did some research and it turns out it stood for "Microsoft Windows' More Errors".

A wise man learns from another man's mistakes. So be wise and learn from these.

Guys, take notice. If your girlfriend asks you why you won't propose, "Because I can already cook" is not a good answer.

The salt and sugar shakers should ALWAYS be labeled before baking a cake... for a wedding.

If your kid walks toward the kitchen carrying the cat and saying that kitty needs a bath, it's a good idea to see what they're doing. Especially if you have a dishwasher.

A declawed cat still has teeth.

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.

That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.

As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.

The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

Give £2 a month to a hungry African and what do they do ? Buy a bl**y trumpet.



Why is Robert Green like ITV HD? They both switch off at the crucial moment.



Nominees for Idiot of the Year...

(1) Idiot Number One - I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.

(2) Idiot Number Two - Early that year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

(3) Idiot Number Three - A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, ‘Put all your muny in tis bag.’ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

(4) Idiot Number Four - A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’ The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

(5) Idiot Number Five - A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

(6) Idiot Number Six - Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

(7) Idiot Number Seven - I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

STAY ALERT! They walk amongst us ... and they can REPRODUCE!

Computer Acronymns (sp?)

AOL
Always off line

ISDN
It Still Does Nothing

APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI
System Can't See It

DOS
Defective Operating System

BASIC
Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM
I Blame Microsoft

DEC
Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

OS/2
Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW
World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

COBOL
Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA
A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP
Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis

MIPS
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

I know i'm a little late to the party with this one but I just popped on the forums for a little bit at "someone's" suggestion. But having been to that school, even for a summer, well those are all pretty much true...

Every female in my family is blonde or dirty blonde so since we were little kids, I was a toddler, the girls of the family swap blonde jokes. I adore them and found some new ones thank to you guys and am going to post a few of my own. Also, Bill Engvall jokes if I can remeber them. he rocks!

A brunette is hopping on the train tracks one day and a blonde see her. The brunette is couting out loud "21, 21, 21, 21, 21" The blonde asks if she can join and the brunette says yes. The two girls hop back and forth on the rail road ties for a little bit and then a train comes, the brunette hops off. The train leaves and the brunette hopes back on counting again "22, 22, 22, 22"


Why can't blondes make kool-aid?
They can't figure out how to fit a quart of water into that itty bitty package.


A blonde walks into an appliance store and tells the clerk "I want to buy that TV." "I'm sorry ma'am we can't sell TVs to blondes." is the reply. So the blonde pouts and flounces out of the store.
THe next day a redhead goes to the store and tells the clerk "I want to buy that TV" same answer "Sorry ma'am we can't sell TVs to blondes" Frustrated the redhead stalks out of the store.
The third day a brunette walks into the store and says "I want to buy that TV!" the man sighs and says once again "I'm sorry ma'am but we don't sell TVs to blondes."
"How did you know it was me?" asks the blonde, taking off her wig.
"That's a microwave ma'am"


Why do elephants paint their toenails different colors?
So they can hide in a bag of M&M's, ever seen one? it works.


Why do elephants paint their toenails brown?
So they can hide in the trees but the squirrels all just think they're nuts!


How do you fit four elephants in a yellow volkswagon?
Two in the front, two in the back.

How can you tell if there has been an elephant in your fridge?
There's a set of footprints in the jello.

How can you tell if there has been two elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints!

Three elephants in your fridge?
Three sets of footprints!

How can you tell if there has been four elephants in your fridge?
THere's a yellow volkswagon parked outside.


Bill Engval:
One time I was flying to a show on this little bitty puddle jumper type plane and it's dark out and everything. The pilot managed to hit a deer as we were coming down the runway. So I called my wife when I got off the plane and told her "Baby you are not going to believe this. Our plane just hit a deer." She replied "Oh my gosh*(edited DL) were you on the ground?"
"Nope santa was making one last stop! Here's your sign."


I once saw a woman with a really ugly baby at the supermarket so being stupid I said something to her. "Oh what a big boy you have there!" "she's a girl!" the lady snapped.
Without thinking, this is stupid!!! warning!, I replied wittily "Think of how much you'll save on prom dresses!" *(I think I summarized that joke right, can't remeber...DL)