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What Is Your Opinion On The Story?
Very Good! Want To Read More! 43%  43%  [ 3 ]
It's Okay. Could Use Some Work Though 43%  43%  [ 3 ]
Very Bad! Do It Over! 14%  14%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 7
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:11 pm 
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Very Intresting stories!Wish I could write like that!

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:14 pm 
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ChocoKitten wrote:
Very Intresting stories!Wish I could write like that!


Why thank you Chocokitten!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:47 pm 
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Here's Another Update On My Story! Enjoy!

Chapter 5



It was growing dark, and night was falling. And all was growing more and more tired.

“When will this search be over, Kaplan?” Mallard asked.

“Until we find her, Mallard. I know that it has been a long time, but I am not going to stop doing this search for her now! I don’t want to lose her just as Hetman wouldn’t of wanted to lose her either.”

“Oh, I get it!”

“Good, now here’s what I want you to do. You will take Timber, Winter, and a couple others and take them up the mountain, see if she ran off there. The rest of us will go through the forest. Now I trust you to make it up that mountain as far as you can and come back down with everyone. Is that clear?”

“Yes, crystal clear! Come on guys!”

Timber, Winter, and some other wolves follow Mallard walk up the trail to the mountain.

Kaplan and the other wolves start walking up the other trail that leads into the dark and scary forest. Some of the wolves are quivering in fear.

“Is everything alright?” When he was talking to the back of the group.

They then all nod in agreement then move on.

Kaplan sees a dark figure in the distance, he stops and waits. He motions for 3 wolves to go and search for it. They start to walk closely, still scared out of their minds, and find this creature. They’re not really sure about what it is, so one of them walks back to Kaplan and the others and says, “Kaplan, you need to come see this.”

Kaplan is shocked, walks up behind the wolf and gasps, “I think we’ve found her…”

Some of the wolves are crying in sorrow, because even though they don’t know who it is, they still believe that it is Hetman’s mate that died.

Kaplan orders those 3 wolves to lift the fallen creature’s body to take it back to the pack meeting place. Kaplan howls at the moon, hoping that Mallard, Timber, or Winter will hear it.



Mallard, Timber, Winter, and the other wolves hear something, but it’s very faint so they could hardly hear it. But they did hear something.

Mallard stops looks back at the forest and is overlooking a group of wolves standing around this wolf that is just lying on the ground. Mallard is thinking to himself, “Is that who I think it is? Is that Kaplan and his crew?”

“Guys…we have a problem.”

“What’s going on, Mallard?” Winter asks.

“Well I think that Kaplan found Hetman’s mate, but I don’t see her moving at all.”

“Well, maybe she’s just really tired and needs a break.”

“I don’t think so, Winter. I don’t think that they would be just standing over her like that. You know, women need their privacy.”

The rest of the wolves, including Winter, nodded in agreement. Then the wolves started running down the tall snow covered mountain, running to attend Hetman’s fallen mate.

Mallard and the others finally arrive where Kaplan and the other wolves are and he asks, “Uhh…what happened here?”

Kaplan answers, very softly, “This is Hetman’s mate…we found her dead in the forest.”

“Oh…that’s so sad. I feel really horrible now…”

“Why is that?” Timber asked, while trying to comfort him.

“Because if I was here, I probably could of done something…” he weeps a little and sighs.

“Well, I guess it’s too late now. But it’s okay, because if you were here, she would of appreciated everything else you did for her.”

“Uhh…Timber…”

“Yes…”

“I didn’t really do anything for her.”

“Oh…well…anyway, let’s change the subject. Sorry to put you on the spotlight, Kaplan, but what are we going to do now since we already lost two of our pack members. Are we going to relocate or what?” He then panics a little then calms himself down.

Kaplan walks up to Timber, very perplexed, but answers by saying, “It’s going to be alright. You just need to give me some time to think of a plan.”

“What are we going to do if those HUNTERS COME BACK!!!” He panics a little more, than calms himself once more.

“We’ll be fine, what could happen?”

The suddenly the hunters saw the pack of wolves and start to hide themselves for their attack. Mallard and Winter notice them and tell Kaplan.

Mallard says to Kaplan, “Well you said that too soon because they just went into that part of the forest.” Pointing in the direction of where the hunters went.

“Oh ******! We got to go…NOW!!!”

All of the wolves start running up to mountain, Kaplan watches them and tells Winter and Timber to lead them to the Rockley forest. “Mallard…”

“Yes, Kaplan.”

“I want you to stay with me, so we make sure that everyone arrives safely.”

“Are you afraid of the dark?”

“NO you imbecile! I order you to do something, you do it, end of story. No funny business.”

“Okay…fine, I guess you can’t take a joke.”

Kaplan and Mallard then run up to the rest of the pack making sure that everyone made it.



Night fell, and Kaplan and the others were getting tired of running from the hunters. Mallard suggested that they fight them, but Kaplan shot his idea down.

“Sorry Mallard, but that’s not an option right now.”

“Well why not?” Mallard asked in a winy voice.

“Well, I don’t want and more casualties.”

“Oh…okay then. Any other ideas?”

“HEY!”

Mallard looked at Kaplan confused, “What?”

“That’s my line!”

“Oh sorry!”

“Anyway, I was going to say does anyone else besides myself have any other ideas for an escape plan?”

“Well you know,” Winter said. “We could always go there.” Then points over to this port city where there are boats and ships.

Kaplan thinks to himself, “I wonder if that could take us somewhere else?” He then stands tall, and announces, “Okay, here’s the plan. We are going to go to this ship, and hope that it takes us away from this wretched forest.”

All the wolves nod in agreement and follow him to where the ships are.




Hours past, and the moon was shining bright in the moonlit sky. Kaplan and the other wolves were getting restless because of all the walking they were doing.

“When is this going to be over, Kaplan?” Mallard asked. “I’m tired!”

“Yes, I know that Mallard. We all are. But it’s only a little bit farther. I promise.”

All the wolves are walking up this long and snowy hill. They’re all tired and losing energy by the minute. Kaplan gets to the top of the hill first and is overlooking the ships. “We’re here!!!”

All the wolves jump in excitement, “Finally, we can rest while sailing to…well…I don’t know where. But we’ll be that much farther than the hunters will ever get to us.” “Alright, let’s sneak onto these ships and hope to God that we will land somewhere else.

“Not trying to shoot down your plan here sergeant, but will this plan actually work?” Timber asked, very softly.

“Well, I can’t say. It could and it couldn’t. It’s all a matter of time before that ship probably leaves, so we might want to move quickly.” Kaplan replies, and then runs down the other side of the long, steep, and snowy hill with the other wolves following him.

Timber thinks to himself, “This plan better work!” And then runs down the hill following the other wolves.



Kaplan and the other wolves finally reach to their destination, and are overlooking 3 sailors, and two ships. They have to clue where they are going to go, but who cares?

Mallard then walks to the front of the group where Kaplan was and asked him, “Is this where we were supposed to go, Kaplan?”

“Yes, Mallard. This is our ticket out of this dump.” Kaplan replied.

Mallard was appalled at that statement, he didn’t want to leave. This was his first home, and he didn’t want to let it go. He says to Kaplan, “Why must we go now. This was my home, and even though I’d rather leave to get away from those hunters, another part of me is saying “Don’t leave. Something bad will happen.” But the other part of me is yelling, “GET OUT OF HERE!!” But I don’t know which side I should take!”

Kaplan walks closer to him and says, “Mallard…you’ve been here for how long now?”

Mallard answers, “For about…5 years.”

Kaplan paces a little, and then says to him, “And aren’t you getting a little annoyed when you are out looking for food and there’s always hunters lurking around every corner waiting for the right moment to jump out and kill you?”

“Well…yes…” Mallard replied.

“Well then, why haven’t you made up your mind? It’s an easy decision; you could either leave this boring ol’ forest, or stay here and get hunted for the rest of your life! So…what’ll it be?”

Mallard paces the ground, thinking, “What the hell am I getting myself into? I know that I have two choices, but one part of me is saying one thing and the other part is saying another…I don’t know which to choose. But Kaplan brings up a good point; if I stay here, I will be chased and hunted till my dying day. But if I go with them, I’ll be with all my friends and won’t be chased and hunted.” He walks forward, right to where Kaplan is standing and announces, “Alright, I’ve made my decision.”

Every wolf is now feasting their eyes on Mallard, waiting for an answer.

“Make some room on the boat because I’m coming with you!”

Mallard and the other wolves, including Kaplan, are jumping up and down in ecstasy and celebrating Mallard’s decision. But Winter walks up to where Mallard was standing to pose a question, “What made you want to stay, Mallard?”

Mallard takes a deep breath and says, “Well, it all started when I was running down here. There was two parts of me that was screaming. One was saying that I should stay because this is my home and I don’t want to give it up. Which I don’t want to, but there are times in life that you have to give up some things for the ones you care about, and that means you guys. But, the other part of me is yelling even louder than the other one, and it’s really starting to give me a headache. And it’s telling me that I should leave this boring ol’ forest and get away from those hunters that want to kill me and place my head on a platter. Those are very good arguments in my mind, but I made my mind and I’m coming along with you guys!”

Timber says to Mallard, “It’s nice to know that you are coming with us, and I’m flattered that you care about us.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’d rather die for you guys than anyone else.” Mallard replied.

“Well, let’s not talk about death right now, because I think that that one boat is leaving.” Kaplan says.

All the wolves start to continue running down the rest of the hill, Kaplan looks down at them perplexed, then runs after them.

After they all reach a point where they can’t get any further, Kaplan says to them, “We must find a way to get onto that boat.”

Mallard is thinking, “I wonder if we could disguise ourselves? Or get into those open boxes…” He says to Kaplan, “What about if we disguise ourselves with bushes, then run over to that box that is open and hope we can all fit in there. And God knows where we are going to end up from there.”

All the wolves nod agreement, and then Kaplan starts to think to himself, “What if this actually works? He may have a point!” “Alright, let’s try that, just to see if it works.”

Timber is still skeptical about Kaplan’s plan and asks, “Do you really believe that this plan will actually work?”

“Well, I can’t really answer that question, Timber.” Kaplan replies.

“Well…why not?” Timber asks.

“Because we haven’t tried it yet, so we wouldn’t know if it works now would we.” Kaplan asked.

“Well…umm… I guess…maybe…no, we wouldn’t.” Timber replies.

“Well then, what the hell are we waiting for then. Let’s go!” Then after Kaplan says that, he runs down to the edge of the forest and sneaks into the box. He looks out at the other confused wolves. “Well come on, let’s go before they see you get caught by those other creatures.” Kaplan wasn’t sure about who those…creatures were named, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was that those wolves got over to the box safely and not seen.

Mallard says softly to the group, “Well, I guess I’ll go next. See you in the box…I guess…” Then runs quickly to the box and gets there safely.

Timber then says to the rest of them, taking charge, “Alright, I’m going to go next, and after I get there, I’ll have Kaplan signal you when it is safe for another one of you to come over. Then after all of you get here, then…well…I don’t know what happens after that. We’ll just have to wait and see.” He then runs off into the box, after being signaled by Mallard.

All the wolves successfully arrived in the box and then wait. One of the wolves asks, “What the hell is going on? How long must we wait?”

Kaplan paces with the space that he has, and then answers the question by saying, “Well…I don’t know. I guess whenever those hideous creatures come and get this box; we’ll get out of this dump. But we must find a way to close this up.”

Timber is thinking, “Maybe…” Then he asks Kaplan, “We can just close it ourselves. You and you, grab it with your claws. I’ll push it from behind.”

Kaplan is confused, “Does he want to stay?” “What are you thinking, Timber? Do you really want to stay here?”

“Yes…surprising…yes I want to stay here!” Timber said to Kaplan.

“But…but…why?” Kaplan asked Timber very perplexed.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I have no purpose in life. Everyone hates me in this pack that I use to call home, and I can’t live with myself for what I have done.” Timber replied.

Kaplan was confused, “What did Timber do to make him feel this way?” Then he asks, “What exactly did you do to make you want to stay? We all want you here and I don’t see anyone in this audience that wants you to leave. You are part of the family, Timber, don’t leave us.”

Timber thinks to himself, then answers, “No, I must depart. The creatures are coming, I bid you farewell my friends. I will miss you…” He then closes the box with sobbing and crying wolves.

Kaplan yells, “NO TIMBER!!” as Timber is closing the box. The “creatures” went and walks over to the box that contains the Allurer Pack and a couple of those men picked up the box. One of them said, “*****, this box is heavy. Oh well, let’s just get this box over to that ship over there.” The men take the heavy box over to the first boat.

Timber thinks to himself, “Farewell my fellow wolves…farewell…” He then walks back into the forest where he will lay until his dying day.

Kaplan and the other wolves that made it into the box are whispering to each other, “Where the hell are we going to end up?”

Mallard asks Kaplan softly, “Umm…Kaplan…where do you think we are going?”

Kaplan answers softly, “Umm…Mallard….I don’t know exactly. We’ll just have to weight it out and wait for this, thing to stop.”

They all are waiting and waiting and the ship starts to rock back and forth. The wolves panic, “What is happening?” The boat rocks back and forth more than before and the wolves are crashing into each other. “Ouch, what the—“ Just as one of the wolves said that, the boat then rocks to the other side and crashes into the other ones.

They were in the middle of a large storm. The waves were collided onto the side of the boat making it rock back and forth. Kaplan says, “We need to push our weight down on the box so it doesn’t rock back and forth.” All the wolves do as he said and the box didn’t rock as much as it did before.

And because of the storm and the strong waves, the boat was pushed off course and the captain, the one who was steering, wasn’t able to move the boat back on track. The captain yells to his crew, “WE’RE GOING OFF COURSE, WERE GOING TOWARD AFRICA!!!”

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:30 pm 
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Thank you! I thought so myself, and if everything goes according to my plan, this story will be finished by the end of this month! [God willing!]

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 5:44 pm 
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wearedoomed wrote:
LordLion24 wrote:
Thank you! I thought so myself, and if everything goes according to my plan, this story will be finished by the end of this month! [God willing!]



Trust me, I know how you feel :wink:


I wouldn't be suprised! ^_^

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:04 pm 
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Wow, cool! wetwolf4.gif howl.gif :compress: :thumright: :bounce: :cyclopsani: :farao: cool.gif jawdropper.gif wiggle.gif

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 10:32 am 
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UPDATE!!

My story has just been finished! YAY!

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 11:03 am 
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Wow, cool! i want to hear more!

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 12:29 pm 
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I'm not exactly sure when the moderators will put it up there, but i sent it there today. And it's finished. And just an FYI, I'm starting a series of fan fictions called "The Chronicles Of Richard" (There will be three volumes!) I won't talk too much about it, but it's the story of my character.

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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 12:59 pm 
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That my friend, is pretty SWEET!!

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