You and your mouth.(Self quotes)

Kaz · **Joined:** Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:20 am **Posts:** 1697

-> What the mess!?

-> Just connect that thingymajgit to that mawhatsit and then go down to the majoogit... OH DARN! Now see what you did? You died. Good for you!

-> I was at that place, with the thing...

-> EHuhaha? O_O

-> Cookies!

-> Holee Goats.

sunkissin · **Posted:** Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:18 am

Dr. Rex wrote:

Lulz!! XDDD That was great, Rebbie... reminds me of another convo I (unfortunately) participated in during lunch one time...

It's rather long and kinda PG-13 rated. So read at your own discretion.

Hidden text : click to show

Zack: *comes to the table holding a girl's hand*
Jordan: HEY!! You just brought a girl to our table.
Zack: So what? Kayla's a girl, she sits at our table.
Jordan: Yeah, but Kayla never talks while she's eating so I can't talk to her during lunch.
Kayla: Up yours Jordan. *points at the new girl* I've seen you before.
Misty: Yeah, I'm in your Physics class.
Kayla: *points at me* So is he.
Misty: He is?
Me: I'm glad to have made such a big impression on you.
Misty: *quietly to Zack* You know these people?
Me: So let me introduce you to our brigade... You know Zack, the jock, obviously... Gunner's the neo-Nazi, Jordan's gay, Mike's the sex addict--
Gunner: Wannabe sex addict.
Me: ...and Kayla's here because Gunner forces her against her will.
Gunner: And you're our narrator.
Me: Yessss. I'm the narrator.
Jordan: *staring at Misty* You're very hot.
Gunner: You're gay!!
Jordan: I know. But it's so confusing. She's giving me an erection right now, and it feels great.
Kayla: Drink your water, Jordan. You're thirsty.
Jordan: But she's really--
Kayla: No, you're just thirsty.
Me: *to Misty* Don't mind him... he likes to think he's that way; even though he's gay every other day of the week and all other days, he's really bi.
Misty: Oh, that's okay. I know a couple people who are that way.
Gunner: Zack, where did you find this girl? She makes an excellent addition to our table!!
Everyone: WELCOME TO THE CLUB!!!

oh wow. Nicely remembered. And that is incredibly amusing. Your friends sound awesome. :lol:

Made me remember an interesting convo I had in the canteen just a few minutes ago. x3

Me: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? ... pregnant!
*everyone laughs*
Me: What do you call a brunette with one brain cell? ... me.
*everyone laughs again*
Me: Well actually, I don't have a brain cell. I have a chipmunk running around in a wheel inside my head, according to Finn.
Finn: No, you have two chipmunks inside your head. One in a wheel, and the other sitting down drinking tea. And every now and then it says "wheeeee.", and they make dirty jokes.
Me: *laughs* Yeah.

Ashur · **Posted:** Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:42 pm

Here are a few conversations I've had recently. I'm going to use code names for my friends, though, since I'm not sure if they'd like me saying their real names on the internet or not :)

[Conversation between me and my sister -just took place- ]

Me: Are you ever going to take transit to school?
Iggy [what my sister wants to be called when she's on the internet :P] : I plan to.. after I muster up enough strength to go.
Me: Strength? Is there a lot of walking?
Iggy: ... No. Well, I don't think so.
Me: Then why do you need strength?
Iggy: Oh, I meant courage, mainly.
Me: Ah, okay. 'Cause I was sitting here for a moment thinking "Iggy... it's a BUS. You don't need strength to ride a BUS."

And here are a few other random things that have happened recently:

Me: I feel so cheap. People are getting me such nice stuff for Christmas and all I'm doing is making them bookmarks.

Sabre: -stares out window- Noo, the snow is so small now!
Me: Sabre! Don't look out the window! D:
Sabre: Why not?
Me: I have a theory. If we don't look out the window for the whole class, the snow will be harder at the end of the class than it is at the beginning. So that's what I'm going to do. And I shall prove my theory!
Sabre: Yeah.. okay then.

- at the end of class -

- classmate open blinds [we were watching a documentary] -

Me: Look Sabre! It's snowing harder! My theory was right! I have prevailed! *rambles*
Sabre: Ashur, it's not harder. It's the same.
Me: No it's not! Well.. I don't think it is. It looks harder to me.. Oh well, my theory still worked! Yes! *rambles some more*
Anna: *laughing*
Sabre: -.-

Me: - walking into class with stuffie I got as a present -
Sabre: What's with you and the plushie?
Me: I like plushies. And it is my tradition to walk around with one for the whole day the day I receive a new one.
Sabre: ...

Me: I was in the van this morning and I told my mom it was run day today. And she told me to watch out for the ice on the sidewalk, because if I decide to sprint and don't see a patch and accidentally slip on it, that'll be the end of me. Crack my head, brains all over the sidewalk..
Olive: - laughs with disbelief -
Me: It was a very comforting thought.

Sabre: Did you study for the test today?
Me: ... Sort of...
Sabre: Which basically means no.
Me: Well, I did study...
Sabre: How long?
Me: Like... five minutes or something.
Sabre: - stares, then starts to walk to class -
Me: But I'm going to study more! Like, in the ten minutes before class or something!

--

Sorry for the long post o.o They probably weren't even that funny XD The only funny convos with "Anna" I could think of were slightly.. not kid friendly, so I decided not to post them X3

AngelsLosingSleep · **Joined:** Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:33 pm **Posts:** 15

I have some...ahem...conversations. Some are a little more...umph...than others.

This happened today:
Band Director: -draws bass clef- Now, to find the middle C, you just look for the space between the two humps...
Everyone: -laughs-
Band Director: And then you find the middle line -draws line-
Everyone: -laughs-
Band Director: DIRTY!!!
Everyone: -laughing so hard music is forgotten-

(Youth Group friend...we'll call him Tim): "Who's the leader of Tibet?"
Me: "Uhh....Ted!" *drags "Ted" over who WAS talking to my sister*
(another YG friend...um...Ted): "um....24!"
Tim: "Congrats Ted. you are the new Dalai Lama"

Anne: Duck...duck...BLACK duck!
Me: That doesn't exactly roll off the tounge.

There's more...but my tired brain can't function well. haha

Heyl · **Posted:** Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:57 am

Okay this was at 2 AM when me and my sister were going to bed...

Me: D'you know what I miss?
Sister: What?
Me That crack sound a Barbie makes when you bend her legs backwards.

Kinda lame but I find it weird...

I was tired. But not willing to admit it.

Gearback Tribal · **Posted:** Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:43 pm

Oh, I have some pretty funny ones.

My friends Dingo, Key, and Dragon (ManBearPig) and I all say: "Like, SHAMWOW!" (Yes, those are nicknames!)

Once, Dingo wanted to say that, and said "Like, Shampoo!!!"

This is a convorsation between Dragon and I- I play the piano, he plays the gutar, and I was talking about flat's and sharps and what notes to play. It got perverted... And what Dragon says might shock you.

Me: Okay, so it's E flat, D natural, B flat, G natural E flat, F natural, G natural, C natural, the F and the G are connected, and boom, first line gown!
Dragon: That's a lot of flats. And no naturals.
Me: Yeah, yell me about it. It gets worse with the sharps!
Dragon: Why are you staring at me like that?
Me: I'm not staring at you.
Dragon: I get it!
Me: Nani?
Dragon: You so secretly want me (he was quoting me)
Me: Yeah, you wish birdbrain!
Dragon: You wanna be flat.
Me: What?
Dragon: Under me!
Me: Ewwwwwwww!!!!!! No!!! Never!!!
Dragon: You know, DG, I can get really sharp.
Me: Ewwwwwww!!! Ha-ha!
Dragon: You naturaly want me!
Me: SHUT UP!!! You know where I got my name, right?! DG, Deidara's Girl!!! He's just about the ONLY one id want to be *shudders* under!

Me: "May the doorknob hit ya were the good Lord split ya!"
Me: "I regret nothing!!!"

Here's another one between Key and I-

Key: (Singing) Sexy Can I, just pardon my manners, girl how you shake it gotta player like WOAH! It's a kodac moment let me go and get my camra, bably all I wanna know is sexy can i?
Me: No. No you may not.
Key: What makes you think that I'm talking about YOU?
Cause you touched my butt a few minutes ago, If I had a penny for every time I caught you looking at me I'd be filthy rich, and I just know it!!!
Key: Slap you like this? *slaps my butt*

He slapped me just as we walked into the lunchroom
Unknown teacher as we walk in: Now that's what I call a welcome wagon!!!

HrryNrmn · **Posted:** Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:51 pm

"You haven't watched squirrels the way I do."

Marine310 · **Posted:** Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:32 am

Besides in my sig;

"Think with your dipstick!" I know, I stole it from the Castrol motor oil comercial, but I say it...a lot.
"Twat waffle"
"I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire."
And for whatever reason, I say "Indeed" way too much.

Pikayu · **Posted:** Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:22 pm

Here are some of mine and my friend's Quotes (using their online names)

(we were standing in the middle of a very populated part of the school, and she's very loud)
Cyclone: I was having trouble for a while, but then I saw Joanna and the gift of man-bodies was bestowed upon me!
Me: That sounded wonderful.
Cyclone: Now he no longer has child-bearing hips!
*People scoot away from us*

Squiggle: *making a box shape in front of his face* This is the box of sanity.... I'm hiding behind it!
Biki: No! This is the box of sanity *Flailing hands randomly in the air* and I'm inside it!
Me: You so sane you're in-sane!

Pheonix: *after Squiggle said something sexual* I don't check out girls like that.
Sammy: So you check out guys?
Me & Everyone else: *laughing*

Pheonix: Oh magical magic eight-ball! *we always obey the eight-ball* Is Squiggle gay?
Eight-ball: Definately yes
Squiggle: I knew it!
Me: It's official now.

Me: *eating ramen*
Trogra (sister): So have you failed math yet?
Me: *glare* Get away! Or I'll stab you with my.... spoon.... (I could'a sworn it was a fork)

*Talking about trick-or-treating on halloween*
Cyclone: So do you want me to come over dressed?
Me: Yeah, we'll start right after you get there.
Biki: *just tuned in* That sounded funny
Me: .....
Cyclone: OMG YES!

Biki: I never lock the window in my room.
Pheonix: Well then, I'll see you tonight *walks away*
Me: Start locking it.

Trogra: This is on fire man! He wants to shake your hand!

(while walking down the hallway)
Biki: Hey Pikayu, one day we should sneak into the school at night and build a brick wall in the middle of this hallway.
Me: Yes! We should wear ninja costumes and do random acrobatic moves while we build it!
Biki: Well of course we will. We'll also sing "Whistle While You Work", because that is a must when you're building a brick wall in the middle of the busiest school hallway.

Me: *putting my loveless manga into my purse*
Nami: That's a yaoi isn't it?
Me & Cyclone: Yup!
Nami: Okay, just curious.
Cyclone: It's really good, she's letting me borrow the next one tomorrow.
Biki: Geeze Pikayu, now we know what you do on your weekends.
Nami & Cyclone: *laughing*
Me: *to Biki* Hey, you're borrowing them too!
Nami: ...Can I borrow them next?

(We have a giant family tree made up of everyone in our extremely large friend group, the guy Midnight's dating for real is her nephew on the family tree)
Biki: Gosh Midnight! Why are you dating your nephew?
Midnight: I can't help it! I'm a horrible mother! *fake crying*
Nami: Yes, you don't just fail! You Midnight-fail (sounds better with her real name)!
Squiggle: That's it! I've figured out the secret to our family tree!
Me: Enlighten us.
Squiggle: Incest!
Midnight: Now I must date my other nephew! Pikayu can I date your son?
Me: Absolutely not!
Midnight: Why?
Me: He's eleven.

Biki: I love dating the wall, he's always there for me!
Me: Unless you go outside where there are no buildings.
Biki: Like I'd ever do that *eye roll*

Biki: *Hugging Squiggle*
Nami: Ohno! Biki, the wall is watching!
Biki: NO! Wall, it's not what it looks like!
Me: Where are his eyes? I'll cover them!

Scarpaw(Soul Eater) · **Posted:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:46 pm

Random stupidness that comes out of my mouth more often then I can handle >.>

This conve is from another site, just needed to put it here XD

Me: Er...Luxord..

Luxord: Yeah?

Me: *reads through RP* You do know that Port Royal is the 'cleanest' place and Tortuga isn't?

Luxord:......

Desoto: FAIL! XD

Yeah I know it's not funny but oh wellz

Kiche · **Posted:** Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:48 am

lmao... XD These are great :'D Um. Lessee... um, there's a few drug references so... I'll spoiler it but if it needs to be removed then ok

Hidden text : click to show

[our bus gets called to turn around and go back to the school... on a friday D; ]
Me: [turnedaround/yelling] Okay, which one of you kids has been poking smot back there? >8|

Brandon: I'm so excited for Friday!
Me: Why?
Brandon: 420!
Me: OHHYEEEAAAHHH! ...wait... wouldn't it only be 320?
Brandon: ...s***!

[reading from the textbook in bio; i've been flipping through the pages instead]
Me: [handraised] Ms Pierce, I am OUTRAGED!
Teacher: Why?
Me: Turn to page... [pagenumber]. These fruit prices are ridiculous!
[everyone turns to look at the page; there's a photo of a fruit market and the prices are really high]
Teacher: Oh, look at that!
[a conversation about fruit prices begins

]

Me: Yeah, my mom's like, 50...
Teacher: So is my mom.
Me: Ohmygod! We must be related!
Teacher: I don't think so.
Me: No... it's too much of a coincidence... Ms Grima, I think we're half-sisters! We have the same mom!
Teacher: Definitely not.
Me: I'm going to bring you indesputable evidence we are related...
[the next day]
Me: Look! Proof you're my half sister!

[the 'evidence' is a crudely drawn family tree, in my handwriting, with little stick figure people]

[the same teacher, we all KNOW she's crushin' on one of the farm crew guys who works there]
Teacher: I'm gonna have to call one of the maintenance guys to come fix it [a shop vac].
[phone convo... 'hi wes', etc...]
Me: ...So you just happen to have his number kickin' around in your cell phone, huh?
Teacher: I have all the maintenance guys' numbers in my phone, just in case I need them.
Me: But Wes would be at the bottom of the list... and you go for him first?
Teacher: Sure, we're friends.
Me: HMMM. Friends, or MORE than friends?!
[Aaaand now my and my friend always make a W sign on our faces when we see this teacher... yup i'm lame

]

[one of my friends and I were pretend-arguing over... i forget...]
Me: Yeah well...
Melanie: I'm Jewish!
Me: [w/o thinking or pausing to listen] I'LL KILL YOU!
Melanie: ...!
Me: ...oh s***, I didn't mean it like that! It's not cause you're Jewish, I was gonna kill you anyway! ...d*** it!
Melanie: [cracks up laughing]

[me and my parents were thinking of rhyming slogan things one night...

]
Sue: Milk after dinner... [can't think of something else]
Dad: Cause juice of the cow is better somehow!

Dad: [explaining about this vintage 1953 guitar he found on eBay that he's been really excited about & wants to buy] It's like you've found the world's oldest reptile! It's a fossil and it's 60 billion years old, and it still has the original amp!

And... it was a spoken thing, but I just thought it was so much funnier in writing... I'd dig up the original letter if I wasn't so lazy right now, but basically one of my friends gets in trouble at school a lot, and I've started acting like his secretary, keeping track of all the letters he gets & the apology notes he has to write... and one of the letters went something like this;

"...Brandon [lastname] must serve detention on [date] for going through another student's bag, kicking another student in Ms Corson's class, and yelling that 'Ms Hanick ********* his class.' "
XD ...it's just so funny seeing that quote mangled and repeated so seriously by the office people...

Ahhh I'm tho lame

There's always funny things being said... idk why I can't remember any good ones...

NattiKay · **Posted:** Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:31 am

Hmm, let's see. here's something for lunchtime at school last year:

Mary: Holy shiitake mushroom! (but she paused before saying, "-ake mushroom")
Everyone: *pauses whaever they're doing and stares at Mary*
Mary: *finished saying it*
Everyone: *still staring*
Mary: What? I said, "Holy shiitake mushroom!" (says it all at once that time)
Me: Oh. I thought you siad that word and then something about a talking mushroom.

.Artemis. · **Posted:** Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:08 pm

Me and five other girls and a boyfriend of a friend. All sitting in a sauna(sp?). We decide to play truth or dare. My friend's boyfriend gets to make up a dare for me. He can't. His girlfriend, "WHAT KIND OF TEENAGE GUY ARE YOOU?" Me: "A secretly gay one." everyone laughs.

Animation Source Forums

You and your mouth.(Self quotes)