Lone Wolf_fanwriter wrote:
Very creative plot, Balto_freak.
I only have a few points for consideration:
1) I'm not sure how Aleu wouldn't at least recognize her father. I admit that age changes things, but his smell should stay much the same. My suggestion: Have most of the confusion take place in the midst of a snow storm, so there's more of a reason for the misunderstanding.
2) Use the snow storm also to give the citizens of Nome a reason to believe the team is lost. Perhaps have the storm come up quickly, unexpected.
3) Arrange a series of unfortunate events to knock out at least the other town's telegraph. I'll leave that up to you.
4) It strikes me as wierd that the state of Alaska would call up US Airborne Divisions (are we talking paratroopers, because they didn't come about until the 1940s...) or even the National Guard (not sure when they were created). It just seems like too much. However, this could be explained if perhaps there was more than one sled team and their cargo was very valuable or vital.
5) Why has Aleu become so angry at these "strangers"? Did something happen to bring out this anger? Does she have any compassion left?
Please take no offense, I only mean to offer suggestions.
-LWf
Lone Wolf brings up some good points, and there's one more: Aleu and the wolves left for parts unknown, so it's dooubtful that they would cross paths. Remember, the Iditarod follows the path of the medicine run, and there were no signs that
that even intersected with the path taken in Wolf Quest at any point.
That aside, it sounds like it would make a wonderful movie. I can think of an answer, albeit an unlikely one, for Lone Wolf's first point: Perhaps Aleu was only aware of the strangers through messengers, and had never seen them (or at least any of the ones related to her) directly. Granted, this would still leave her harsh attitude toward them as highly uncharacteristic, but it could answer that one point.
Oh, and perhaps you ought to consider a reasonable motive for Aleu to set attacks on a team of dogs. Perhaps now as a clan leader she feels she ought to scare them away from her territory, but her pack members try to take it too far (Like trying to kill the dogs) without her knowledge? It's a suggestion, I hope to hear the fanfic soon!