won.

Bambi and Friends

“PLEASE HELP ME! BAMBI, SARA, ASPEN! Said the bloody Athena

The fawns heard her. They were disgusted by Athena’s grotesque markings. However, they came to help her.

“What happened?” said Bambi curiously

“A fawn named Ronno nearly killed me!” She yelled sadly

Bambi thought for a second. “Ronno? I know who he is!”

“I know who he was!” shouted thumper

“Me too.” Said Flower

Soon a mother rabbit came and grabbed Thumper as he was going to speak.

“Ronno was that fawn that Fawna used to have a crush on.” Teased Nutmeg

“I did not like him!” Fawna yelled

“Yes you did.” Said Whisper the rabbit

The fawns kept on arguing about the Ronno thing while Athena escaped to see her weak mother.

“Athena, you are going to be a sister in the spring!” her mother said

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This fanfic was rated PG (Parental guidance suggested).

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KittenLo ver 123	July 17, 2013

Wow. Really good, I like it, awesome work.


Featherv enom	March 23, 2013

It's pretty darn good. You might wanna watch to make sure you get all the punctuation in, but other than that and a few other moments, it's pretty great! I loved the vocabulary use - particularly grotesque. Now, the moment with Ronno and Faline taunting Sedna, though - there's something there. When Ronno first said something, I had trouble telling whether he was being genuine or goading Faline on. You'll certainly want to make note in the story next time when someone's using sarcasm or taunting. But all in all, really good! ^^ Now, I'm going to render on Aspen since I have an idea of what she's like.


Falinelo ver101	March 23, 2013

Yes! It is finally done! It is a little better written then the prologe. I hope you like it

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