PART I

our love is so imperfect.

but that's okay. as long as i have him, i won't go insane. he is my sanity, all that i have to keep from going over the edge. if he ever left me, i don't know what i'd do. before i finally got him and earned his trust, i was a mess. i knew i needed him. why? because i knew how he was. he would never hurt me, or anyone, actually.

i love him. more then anyone else on this planet.

but sometimes i can't help but wonder if he feels the way i do. does he enjoy being with me, or am i too much for him to take?

the worst part is that we're pretty much on the run. from the others. i murdered few of thier pack before ian and i paired up.

what am i?

i was { and probably still am } a terrible monster. when ian came along, i was calmed. but there is still a bit of my bloodstained self trying to rip through my pelt and destroy what we have.

i can't. i can't go insane again.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

i arose from my sleep, seeing his oily black hair in his face and paws under his chin. i looked at him, my body warm again. cold white snow was falling from the sky, and the city alleyway that we sheltered in was still dark, unlike the rest of the city. a car roared by, and my ears perked.

his eyes opened. his too-long bangs gave me a glimpse at his deep brown eyes. the corner of his mouth turned up slightly as he rose from his paws. ian was a maroon wolf/husky. he was so gorgeous to me.

"Kessie," he said, coming closer. "we'd best get out of here soon, they were only about a few hours behind us yesterday, and you know what would happen if they found us." i blinked. "Ian, i know. I'm just so sorry that i had to kill them-" i began, but was stopped by him. "Look, it wasn't your fault, Kess. You went bloodthirsty. But it's okay. We really gotta go now." he turned his head. "i hear dogs...." his eyes widened. "go...GO!"

I followed him as he sped out of the alleyway and ran into the streets. Ian swerved onto the { icy } sidewalk. I followed him, but i felt i wasn't going to be able to run as far as we did yesterday. Ian skidded on the sidewalks, leaving impressions from his claws. The humans we passed all looked extremely startled and immediately looked behind us.

after about 15 minutes of skidding on the ice and watching the city go by, we came upon an old warehouse. i jmped through a low, broken window. Ian waited outside.

"You haven't eaten for a day. I should go to find something," he paused and looked behind himself. "Besides, I'm not the one the pack is looking for. You're at risk if you're exposed. Wait here." and as soon as he finished, he took off.

I laid there in silence. I figured he wouldn't be back for a while, so i decided to look around the place. It was all dark...even in daytime. There was ripped cloth on a table. And there was a desk. As my toenails clicked on the floor, i began to think what this place was. "An old hotel...." i thought to myself. after a bit, i went back to the place i had come in. I poked my black nose out of the broken window and sniffed the air. Ian's scent wasn't fresh, but i could sense that he was not too far from here.

I laid down right in that spot, and drifted off to sleep. But the sound of snow crunching woke me and my yellow eyes darted around. The creature coming may have been Ian, or possibly something else. I walked back a few steps, just in case. But then, Ian's scent filled my nostrils, along with food.

His black nose poked through the broken window. Three perfect hotdogs were clamped in his jowls. They smelled wonderful. "Kessie?" he half-whispered. I trotted back near the window. My aqua blue fur was exposed in the light, along with my messy black hair. "Right here." i replied, in my high pitched soft voice. Ian came through the window for the first time and dropped his winnings. "It took a while to get these away from the human..." but before he could finish, i lunged at him and buried my head in his chest. He looked down and smiled. Ian didn't smile much at all. "Thanks." I contentedly said. He licked my ear and laid down with me. I picked up one of the hotdogs in my teeth and immediately started chewing. In a matter of two minutes, i had gulped it down. I let Ian eat the two, after all, he did retrieve them. I fell asleep as soon as he was finished. He put his head on my back and did the same.

Our nap was interrupted by more snow crunching outside. His head jerked up and he nosed me sharply. "Kessie." He whispered. I woke, looking around a bit. "I smell the pack....they know we're here. They are coming." My fur stood up. I could hear them, too. The leader....he was terrible. Gray, Brown and white were the colours of his pelt. his orange eys pierced through you. he was missing half of an ear, and he was an extrememly well fighter. As frail as I was and how weak he was, i didn't know how we could fight them off. A pink nose stuck through the window. I gasped and Ian pushed me farther than him. The dog's full head came through and saw us. "You." her deep voice growled. She snarled and backed ut. "They're here!" she barked. I was frozen. "Kessie, go!" Ian yelled. I got up off my feet and ran up the stairway to a large glass window. He followed. But before we could get any farther, 5 dogs piled through the window, teeth bared.

I wasn't going to hide this time. And i absolutely felt that insane being ripping through my good self. I bolted down the stairs and lunged on the pink-nosed dog. She yelped as i sunk my teeth into her pelt and she spun me off of her. I landed on the ground, but immediately got up and jumped at her again. I attatched to her hind leg and bit down. She went staright for my neck. But before she could bite down, Ian attacked one of the packmates. As she looked back and snarled, it gave me a chance. I bit down on her neck and choked her. she couldn't breathe, so i just bit down more. Her neck snapped.

I couldn't believe it. I had just murdered one more of thier packmates. Now, they wouldn't stop until we'd have to kill them all. What trouble I had myself in. Then i was sure i was gonna burn in hell.