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“I hope you’re happy” said Stunner with emotion in her voice.

 I couldn’t respond. How could I when I have betrayed her trust. I couldn’t even look at her, grief and agony spilled inside me. I was so selfish to try ad take away what belonged to her. I only blamed myself a little bit. Stunner’s life was too perfect: a loving mother, owners that cared for her well, the best mate that anyone could have, 5 beautiful children and the ability to create a family. What did I have? The only thing that I had what she didn’t was a brother and a loving father. That was it. Never would I have my own children. Never would a mate find interest in a disabled female. And never would I recover from such pain. How can I be happy.

 I shook my head and responded the best I could: honestly.

 “No… how can I be. I never…it was just…I’m sorry”

 The last two words were very faint and hard to hear. I doubted that she actually heard them. I had enough, I walked away without looking back. And contemplated what I had done to be so ashamed of.

 Envy was always another form of poison. Green, greedy, evil emotion that covets another. My desire for summer had been so strong, I was blind to who would be affected by it. It was only about what I wanted. By the time I realized it was too late. It was selfish of me to take advantage of Stunner’s generous offer, but what could I do when I was disabled of everything that I wanted. If I had been supportive of Stunner and her new family, would things have turned out better…for the both of us? But I’ll never know, I had damaged the alliance between us to a level beyond repair. Never would Stunner trust me again or show the same trust.

 More then anything, I just wanted to be gone. My reputation was ruined here in Nomeand no male would find interest in a slut, especially a broke one. I arrived at my house but same the huge sign on our lawn looking different. I entered through the doggie door and saw the house completely empty. The furniture was gone and felt hollow. What had happened. The door opened and my owner came in.

 “Oh there you are Sadie. I thought you’d come back here. C’mon, we’re going away for a while. All the way to White Mountain, won’t that be exciting.”

 We’re moving? A flicker of dread went through me. What about my friends and family? But it occurred to me: which friends? I had none worth calling friends and my only family was Jade and my mother. My father was hardly around with all those races and my mother would be fine. Jade led the snow team to White Mountain all the time, I would still get to see him. It seemed like the solution, to leave and get a new fresh start. Stunner and Summer would like that anyway. I followed my owner to the truck and poked my head out of the window. We weren’t leaving just yet, she had to grab a few things.

 “Hey Sadie” called out Jade who approached the vehicle.

 “Hi”

 “How have you been lately” he was always concerned about me, ever since the spat with my cousin

 “I’m okay I guess. I’ll be even better when I outta here”

 “What do you mean? You’re leaving?”

 “Yeah, we’re moving. But its okay, we’re moving to White Mountain, you deliver mail there all the time, so I can still see you”

 “True” he murmured his head nodding “I hope things turn out better for you there.”

 “I hope so too” I said in a small voice.

 Jade raised his head and nuzzled his sister, and I returned it. I would miss him. The car gave a roar of life and began to move.

 “Bye Sadie” called out Jade

 “Goodbye”

The town blurred past as the car sped up. I saw several of the dogs that I had grown up with, and had no problem leaving them behind. I then saw Summer and Stunner and my heart froze. They looked at me, with a cold expression. I could only shift my gaze, but a new sorrow filled in. They soon left my vision as the car moved on and I raised my head, looking out at our destination and once again hope filled me. Hope for a new beginning and a better life.

 ~~ 1 year later…~~

 “C’mon Sadie get in the truck”

 I tried to wriggle loose but my owner held the collar firmly. I did NOT want to go back to Nome. I had made some new friends and was able to act like myself, but I hadn’t gotten a mate yet. For some strange reason my owner felt like going back to visit. But I had nothing there for me. Surely my owner could make the trip without me. But against my will I was forced into the car. I pulled a paw over my face and prepared myself for the worst.

 Hours later, the car stopped, a sign that we have arrived. I tried to stay and hide in the car, but my own wouldn’t allow it. I took sight of my hometown and concluded that much hasn’t changed. Several of the dogs greeted my return. I did receive a few looks of disgust but I was still quite happy to see old faces. It has been too long.

 But of course I saw even more new faces and I could figure out who they were. I saw Dong and gaped at how he had grown. He reminded me of his father and it seemed like only yesterday when I last saw him as a puppy.

 

“Sadie, is that you”

 

I turned and saw two more strangers, but after a few seconds I realized that they weren’t strangers at all.

 

“Winter? Aderyn? Oh my goodness, I can’t be!”

 

But it was. Aderyn has grown so much and was very beautiful, her floppy ears reminding me how she was named. But I instantly remembered that I had tried to get her to turn against her parents and was filled with dread. Would she hate me? But she didn’t appear like she did. She seemed happy to see me. My eyes flickered to Winter and I was taken aback as too how handsome he was. He was a combination of Nikki and Mahogany. There was a hint of fluff in his hurt but it had lessened since he was a pup. His brown eyes were full of kindness, but something else that she couldn’t put her paw on.

 “I haven’t seen you since forever. It’s nice to see you again”

 “It’s wonderful to see you too, I can’t get over how much you’ve grown”

 “Well, I have to go now. Bye” she walked off

 Winter was still there looking at me with that look. He finally spoke.

 “It is great to see you again Sadie. I sort have missed you”

 This surprised me a little. I didn’t think anyone would miss me when I left. He continued speaking.

 “If you want, I could show you around town, it’s been awhile since you’ve been here.”

 I took the offer and was grateful for it. I noticed how big he was and still wondered who the small puppy became so huge. He had some chunkyness of his father, but the tall slender form of his mother. As he showed me around I noticed how funny he was and decided that maybe my visit wouldn’t be so bad after all. I was almost disappointed to be leaving tonight

 “Sadie! You’re back!”

 “Jade!”

 My brother dashed over and I collided with him in a frenzy of nuzzles and licking. For the past three moths he hasn’t visited and I was more than happy to see him again. 

 “I’m glad to see you. Where’s mom, I want to see her too”

 Jade frowned and looked sad a bit.

 “You don’t know already?” He asked

 “What?”

 “Mum died two months ago. She was giving birth to her second litter, and only two pups made it.”

 “What!”

 My mother couldn’t be dead. It all seemed so unreal, but Jade wouldn’t lie. She was really gone.

 “I’m sorry” he said, tragedy edging his voice.

 He  nuzzled me and I only buried my face into his fur. I never even got the chance to say goodbye. I was then aware that Winter was still here, looking uncomfortable. I was embarrassed of having  to see me in such a state.

 "Sorry” I muttered “ I-

 “It’s okay. It must be hard for you.” He said gently “ Maybe you could come over my place, and have a small treat”

 Say what? The offer sounded a little strange and even he looked a bit embarrassed about it, but I couldn’t help but noticed how hopeful he sounded. I was about to refuse, but my stomach then gave a small twist, I had avoided breakfast. And who knows, maybe it will take my mind off of the sad news that I have just received. I reluctantly nodded.

 “Sure. That would be nice. I’ll catch you later Jade” she added to her brother. Jade smiled and rasped his tongue over my cheek.

 We finally arrived at his place, which wasn’t so bad. Then I  suddenly remembered, with a sinking feeling, that Summer also lived here. My throat tightened and I shot Winter an angry look, but Winter didn’t notice. I felt like I had no choice but to go inside. I prayed urgently that Summer might not be home. I couldn’t bear to face him after what I had done, even though it has been a year.

 The doggie door led into a clean kitchen. Next to it led a door way to what might be a living room. Would I be allowed to?

 “Its okay, my folks are out of town. You can go into the living room; I have to find where they hid the dog treats”

 I nodded and went inside, with a knot tied in my stomach. It was looking okay, and the coast looked clear, until I heard thudding of paw steps, and my nightmare appeared: Summer. Summer looked confused then his brow furrowed. No doubt he wasn’t happy to see me, and I didn’t blame him.

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