Blaze 2: Time passes quickly
Author : moon the night hunter {i share
Date sent : September 25, 2008
Rating : PG (Parental guidance suggested)
Category : Other
Description : Blaze is now a teenager and is determined to be a sled dog. Also he has a secret a secret that could make the ice melt HINT: Rachel and Blaze sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g
Length : Very short -
Characters :
386 visits
Read the fanfic
Download the fanfic : HTML - PDF - TXT
Return to Balto Source
Date sent : September 25, 2008
Rating : PG (Parental guidance suggested)
Category : Other
Description : Blaze is now a teenager and is determined to be a sled dog. Also he has a secret a secret that could make the ice melt HINT: Rachel and Blaze sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g
Length : Very short -
Characters :
386 visits Read the fanfic Download the fanfic : HTML - PDF - TXT 
Report this fanfic
However, there are a few suggestions I'd like to give for
improvement.
This one, like the first one, struck me as kind of
rapid-paced. The paragraphs run together, and you're not giving much
time to any particular scene. Slow down and give your readers a chance
to really take it in.
The hints of romance, in particular, were
rather rushed. However, you don't need to let that bother you too much
- most writers make the same mistake.
I have a tutorial on basic
storywriting. Feel free to have a look. http://baltosource.timduru.org/board/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=22493