I'm sorry.  Stop trembling.  It's okay."

        "His face.  I don't want to remember his face."  Em is trembling in Cole's arms.  He holds her has she calms herself down.  "I'm erasing the memories.  Don't worry if I make any noises.  It hurts."

       "Then why erase them?  They're your past.  It's what has happened to you."  Cole rubs his paws up and down her arms. 

       "I can't remember.  It hurts too much.  I can't see his face without breaking into tears."  Tears are running down her face now.  She trembles more. 

       Cole rocks her back and forth.  "It's okay to hurt.  It's okay to remember.  You need to remember the bad things so that you know what to do the next time.  Memories bad or good help you through stuff."

       "You don't understand.  I do something worse than cheating on him.  I....I...." she can't finish her sentence.  She sobs in Cole's arms for a while.  After a long time, she stops.  

       Cole holds her as they watch the rain stop.  After asking if she's okay and she nods, they walk out and watch the sun come out of the clouds.  The ground dries as Em and Cole lay on top of the cave.  Both thinking about things.  

       Cole looks to Em.  "I'm not going to ask you to finish today.  You seem to be a wreck.  What did I say?  I'm just wondering."

       "You asked the same question Drew asked when that happened.  It made me remember Jay's face....." Em fades out.  "I knew I'd get there in the story, but I didn't want to actually remember.  I can't stand that look he gave me."  Em puts her head down.

       The sun starts to go down.  The rain and story took up most of the day.  They had spent the rest of the day enjoying the after-rain smells, sights, and feelings.  Feeling as if everything was fresh.   But it wasn't.  Everything is still the same.  Jay is still gone.  And he will never return.

       They go down the cave and sleep that night.  Not an exciting day, but they have plans to hunt tomorrow.  Em is feeling restless after laying still for so long.  They will hunt together tomorrow for the first time.  Em's first time hunting in a while.  Tomorrow will not be as boring as today was.

       Em lays down in her spot and Cole lays down in his.  As Cole lays down, Em studies him.  He seems to want to get closer to her, but is keeping away.  Afraid of rejection maybe?  Or knowing she doesn't want another boyfriend?  Em thinks about this as she falls asleep.

      The sun beats down on them as they Em lays hidden in the grass.  Her and Cole had woke up this morning and had set out to awaken Em's hunting skills.  She waits as Cole chases the herd toward her.  She crouches as she sees the dust rising.  She makes out a few deer in the grass.  As they get closer, she spies Cole.

      Em waits for the herd to get closer.  As she leaps, her mind stumbles off track.  She pushes away the disturbance until she had pulled down and killed the deer.  Then a memory floods in.  The day her and Drew had caught that deer the same way they're hunting now.  Drew running up, then kissing her.  She starts to push the memory away. 

     This memory is not a horrible one, but it's bad enough for her to react and for Cole to notice.  He Comes up to her and puts his paw on her shoulder.  "You okay?" 

     Em calms herself down and nods her head.  "Yeah.  Just a memory."

     "Of..."  He's probing.  Not forcing. 

     Em knows she doesn't have to answer, but she decides to tell him.  "The next morning, I wake up with a herd of deer coming toward me.  Drew was chasing them.  I take one down."

     "That doesn't seem to bad," Cole replies as they carry the deer home. 

     "It's not that.  It's just that...... I let him kiss me again.  It bothers me, but I push the guilt away.  It's like I am already taking Jay for a loss."  Em decides to tell more of the story.

      "After hunting that morning, my cuts from the war at home start to hurt.  Drew carries me until we stop for a break at a pond.  After traveling for a while longer, I feel him.  I feel Jay.  I smell around.  I smell metal and rotting carcasses.  Drew asks me what's wrong and I tell him.  We both walk up a hill and drop to the ground at the same time.

       "There are wolves guarding the door.  We see bones everywhere.  We decide to wait till dark.  What we didn't count on is it getting quieter.  We move in when a group of wolves come out together.  They are grumbling loud enough for us to get to an unguarded wall.  They are grumbling about food.  That's lucky.  Less security to worry about.

      "We find a window broken enough to get through.  Inside, we hear the wolves leave.  We decide it would be better to find each other than try to get each other's attention.  That would be too dangerous.

      "Before we separate, Drew turns to me and tells me he loves me."  Here Em starts to get quiet.  "He says if I choose Jay over him, he will leave me or stay with me as just a friend.  I turn to him and..... and tell him..... that he will always be my friend, no matter what happens, and it's not even true."

Ch. 7

      Em and Cole had just gotten to the cave.  Cole sets down the deer and they start eating.  "What do you mean it's not true?  You lied to him?"

      "No, I just...... just something happens that makes it not true.  Just wait.  I turn down a hall looking for Jay.  I focus my senses.  I never knew that I could do what I did.  I could feel Jay.  Hear him.  I can feel his pain.  How?  I don't know.  All I know is that he's down that hall."

     Em takes a few more bites of the deer.  She doesn't take any more.  "I run down that hall and skid to a stop in front of a cage.  When I see him there.....lying on the floor..... covered in blood..... I can't believe it.  Someone actually beat him enough to practically kill him." 

     Em stops eating and tears roll down her face.  "When I take him into my arms, I don't know what to do.  All I can do is cry.  I cry even harder when he smiles at me and tells me that they had said I wasn't coming or had found someone else.  It hurt to not tell him, but I knew it wouldn't help right then.  I was just concerned with getting him out of there.

     "Then, I hear someone.  I hope and pray it's Drew.  But when I ask, I get a sinister and evil voiced return.  It was Tornado.  Abyss' brother.  He tries to get me with words for a while but I would have none of it.  I jump at him.  He's so big and strong that he overpowers me.  He bites down on my throat.  I look over at Jay."

     Em stops here to try to stop crying.  Cole comes over and lays next to her.  He wipes the tears off her face.  He seems close to tears himself.  "Look.  Why don't we stop here today.  You need to think about something else for a while."

     Em looks up at him.  "I want to get it over with."

     "Yeah well, I say you need to stop.  Let's go do something else."

     Em thinks a minute.  "Okay."  Em slowly stands up.  "What should we do?" 

     "You like water?  There's a pond a little ways away."

     Em almost hesitates.  Thinking of how she and Jay used to play in the water.  She figures it should be okay.  "Sure."  She follows Cole to the pond.  When they get there, she sees a small waterfall coming from a river that goes long into the distance.  It's a beautiful pond. 

     "Well, this is it."  Cole sits down and smiles.  "I'm not much of a fan getting deep into water, but you have fun."

     For Em, time seems to freeze when she sees Cole smile as big as he did.  Standing in front of that waterfall.  It was a beautiful image.  He must be getting used to his scars being ignored.  She can only smile back as she goes into the water.  She swims around for a while, then gets out to lay next to Cole.  She hesitates before asking, "How did you get your scars?"

     "Why'd you say it like that?" Cole asks trying to stall.  "You don't have any scars."

     "Well, I have mental scars.  Yours are physical.  But, they both impact