dead!"  My sadness turns to bitter anger toward myself and Drew for not understanding.  "He's gone because I went after you first.  He's gone because I didn't save him.  You might have survived that fall.  He couldn't!  He was already almost dead!  If I had went after him first...... if he knew I loved him, he'd be alive now!"

               "Emehyst, it's not your fault.  Blaming yourself isn't going to bring him back.  It's not going to make things better.  Come home with me.  The pain will go away."

               "No it won't!  You don't understand! I love him!  Loved him echoes in my heart.  I love you, but just as a very good friend.  I don't want you hurt either.  Just go away before I kill you too."  My heart is gone.  I don't care about Drew's hurt face.  I just turn and walk away.  It starts to rain.

               Of course.  Just like a movie.  I'm sad so it rains.  I walk through the darkness of thunder, and flashes of lightning.  Then I collapse.  I cry.  My tears pour out.  I sob in the rain, thunder and lightning all around me.  When I have strength, I stand up and run.  I run untill I can't run anymore.  My tears have long been gone, but I still sob, and the pain of what used to be a heart makes me feel like i'm going to explode.

               I open my mouth and howl.  I howl with all the energy I have left.  Behind me thunder cracks through the air.  I collapse on the top of the mountain I have run up.  I cry and call out his name.  I call his name over and over again from the bottom of my heart.  But he's gone.  He will never answer.  Never again.

             That is my story.  It was all my fault.  He would be alive now if it wasn't for me.  I will never forgive myself.  Never.  I now start to cry.  The tears that will soon run dry.  With pain that will never leave.  With love that will never come again.  I don't care anymore.  I just don't care.