to go. 

       "You know if I get hurt or die you are going to feel very guilty and I will kill you?"

       "Sure," he answers.

       "Okay.  As long as you know that," I say.  Then I take a deep breath, and take a leap of faith. 

       I roll down the cliff (about a 80 degree angle) and slide to the bottom.  Not on my feet but I was just happy to be alive and unhurt.  I jump up and jump into Drews arms.  "I did it!  I did it!"

       Drew hugs me.  "You did it.  Great....... (taking a hesitant breath) I didn't tell you this, but it took me a week to get it right."

       I glare at Drew.  "Say what!?" 

        I knew you could pick it up fast.  You are amazing.  You always have been."  We look each other in the eyes. 

        We both notice at the same time that we were still close together and pull back together.  We climb the other side of the ravine in silence but at the top, the tension goes into the distance along with the cliff.  "I'm never doing that again.  No way."

        "No, you don't have to.  I'm sorry.  I knew there was a chance that since it was your first time you could do a little tiny thing wrong and could've gotten hurt.  I shouldn't have taken the chance."

        I stop him in his tracks.  "I'm not mad at you.  I was just scared.  I know there is no way you would have ever hurt me on purpose.  Forget about it.  It's over."

        He drops the subject and we keep going throughout the day.  We find a small pond in the middle of the day and go swimming for a few minutes to relax for a while.  We go faster while we're wet to make the breeze cool us down.  It was slightly warm out.  We travel on time even with all our stops.

        That night, the extreme heat gives way to extreme cold.

Ch. 4

        When we stop for the night, I start shivering before I even fall asleep.  Jay is laying a few feet away and looks at me concerned.

        "You cold?"

        I nodd and he comes over and curls around me putting his head over my shoulder.  "Tell me if I get to close for comfort."

        I smile at his thoughtfullness, and when I turn to him to say that it was okay, we lock eyes.  The thought of I shouldn't goes away when his eyes dig deep into mine.  We look each other in the eyes for a moment, then it happens.  We kiss. 

        Barriers against him break down in my heart, and I close my eyes and let the world fade away.  He was a friend way back when, but he has become more to me over the past few days.  I forget about everything for a moment, but when it's over, guilt floods in. 

        Drew, always in tune with my feelings, sees the guilt flood into my eyes and stands up.  "I'm sorry.  It was my fault.  I know I shouldn't have...." 

        I stand up and follow him.  "No.  I let you."  Looking into his eyes,"I kissed you back."

        "What about Jay?" he asks.

        I lower my eyes.  "I don't know.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I love both of you.  I just don't know who I love more."  My eyes start to water.  "I still love Jay, and am still going for him, but I don't know what to tell him when we finally get there."

        Drew listens intently.  "I can't do anything for you.  This is all your decision.  I will respect you which means I will do anything you say."

        I start to shiver again.  "And that would be sleeping around me.  I'm freezing."

        "As you wish madam," he says smiling at me, the conversation over. 

        He lays down and puts his head on my shoulder and puts his arm over me to keep me as warm as possible.  After a while, I stop shivering and go to sleep, comfortable with Drew for the first time since he came back.

        I wake up the next morning warm.  I get up and look around.  I'm alone.  I see nothing around me.  Then I hear running.  I turn around to see a herd of deer running toward me.  I crouch down and wait.  A lone straggler closer to me than the others makes for an easy target.  I leap and take it down.  As I drag it away from the herd, Drew trots up to me out of breath.

       "I'm glad you caught that.  I'm out of energy, breath, and need food." 

       I move to make room for him, and before we start eating he says, "Good morning sunshine."

       I smile and he kisses me.  It's short and fast because he's nervous to get too comfortable with me.  I smile and we both start eating.  I push away the feeling of guilt that keeps butting into my confused head.

       We start off earlier than we needed to and travel fast that day.  My shoulder's cuts (from the war at home) start to sting and get stiff.  Drew notices me limping (though I try to hide it) and insists on carrying me.  I make him stop later in the day when it gets too warm and we stop at a small stream to get a drink and cool down.

       "These temperature swings are starting to get on my nerves."

       "Yeah, tell me 'bout it.  First it's cold, then it's hot, it needs to make up it's mind," answers Drew.

       I use this break time as a time to think.  About Drew, Jay, everything.  I am still as confused as when we stopped when we start up again.

       We keep going and travel a long way when I feel him.  I know Jay is here.  My heart senses his.  I don't know how, it just does.  Then I know.  It's his pain I feel.  I start to get mad.  Whoever hurt him is going to die.  I walk toward the direction and sniff.  After a few feet I smell it.  The smell of metal.  Then I smell Jay.  Faint, but it's definately him.

       "What is it?" asks Drew.

       "He's here.  Somewhere.  I can feel him." 

       "Jay?  How do you know?"

       I look at Drew.  "I just know."

       I see his face go from happy to clouded.  He thinks for a minute.  "Alright.  Where is he?"

       I don't answer.  I am too confused.  I'm thinking of what i'm going to tell Jay.  My love is equal for both of them.  Or so I think.  I turn around and head over a hill.  There it is.  Drew comes up the hill to stand beside me and he stops in his tracks.  We both hit-the-dirt at the same time.

Ch. 5

       Two black females guard the door.  The windows are barred and the place looks deserted.  Almost.  I hear growling, but it comes from behind the building.  The place is filled with bones and the smell of rotting animals.  I look at Drew.  He looks at me.  We're both thinking the same thing.  This is going to be tough. 

       We back down the hill.  We make up a plan while we wait for dark.  We decide we'll go to the side of the building where there are no wolves around.  We'll find the easiest place to get in, climb through, find Jay, and we're out of here.  The thing is, neither of us think it's going to be that easy.  Things rarely ever go as planned.

       We walk to the hill on the other side of the building when darkness starts to set in.  We creep closer as it gets darker and to our misfortune, quieter.  We wait for the perfect time to move in.  Suddenly, a group of them go out of the building and leave grumbling about food.  Obviously they're going hunting.  Drew and I exchange looks.  This is our chance. 

       As they talk to the others at the door, we sneak to the side of the building and wait holding our breaths.  They are talking loud enough for us to figure out a way in.  Time to test the windows or look for holes in the wall.  We go opposite directions.

       We go to windows